Tapasya begins—brahmacarya, celibacy, no sex life. That is the beginning of tapasya. Meditation means tapasya. So tapasā brahmacaryeṇa śamena (SB 6.1.13). Śama, to control the senses, to keep in equilibrium. Senses may not be agitated. Damena, even it is agitated, by my knowledge I have to curb down. Just like if I become agitated by seeing a beautiful girl - or for woman, a beautiful boy . . . that is natural. Yuvatīnāṁ yathā yūni yūnām yathā yuvaḥ (Vijñāpti-pañcaka). Young boy, young girl, they are naturally attracted. There is nothing surprising. But tapasya means that "I have taken vow, no illicit sex." That is knowledge. "Why? Even if I am attracted, I shall not do this." This is tapasya. And "Because I am now attracted, now we shall enjoy"—that is not tapasya. Tapasya means even one is attracted, he should not act. That is tapasya. There may be some difficulty to control, but that should be practiced. It can be practiced. It is not very difficult. But one has to practice the determination: "Now I have taken vow before Deity, because at the time of initiation it is promised before the Deity, before the fire and before the spiritual master, before the Vaiṣṇava, that 'I'll not have illicit sex.' That is promised. How can I break it?" This is tapasya. "I have taken vow before the Deity, before fire, before my spiritual master, before the Vaiṣṇavas, 'No illicit sex, no meat-eating, no drinking or intoxication, no gambling.' I have promised it. If I am gentleman, how can I break my promise?" This is called jñāna.
With knowledge one has to respect. That is called tapasya. With knowledge. Otherwise, to become attracted, that is not unnatural. Caitanya Mahāprabhu used to say . . . He was sannyāsī. He said that "Even if I see a doll made of wood, a beautiful woman, My mind becomes agitated." So what to speak of us? So this is the example, Caitanya Mahāprabhu giving Himself . . . to be agitated in the mind, that is not unnatural, but if you practice, then you'll not be agitated anymore. If you practice by your knowledge, then you'll not be agitated. That is called dhīra. Dhīras tatra na muhyati (BG 2.13). You have to become dhīra.