India, there is some band party, and the bride . . . bridegroom is decorated like king, and he is on the horseback and is taken. But one who knows, he says that "This rascal is becoming more rascal." (Hindi) So therefore to check him not to become a (Hindi), gadhā, ass, the first education is brahmacārī—don't enter. Don't enter this puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam. That is education; that is called brahmacārī. Warning, that "It is not good. Better remain brahmacārī," brahmecarati iti brahmacārī. "Remain with Brahman, celibacy. You will be happy." But . . . That is the first education, brahmacārī. Then one, if he is unable to remain brahmacārī, "All right, take wife, regulated, gṛhastha." Don't remain cats and dogs. That is not human civilization. First of all, education is, "Don't unite. Remain brahmacārī." But if you are not able, "All right, take a wife like a gentleman and live like a gentleman." Ekonari brahmacārī, that is also . . . if one is satisfied with one woman, then he is also brahmacārī. He is not vyabhicārī.
So that is regulated, that you must have wife. Not must have, but if you cannot avoid, take one wife and remain as a gṛhastha. And there are so many rules and regulations of gṛhastha life. Gṛhastha life is not that "Whenever I like, we have sex." No, that is not. There is regulated: once in a month. When there is menstruation, and if the wife is pregnant—then no more sex life. There are so many rules and regulations. The gṛhastha means one who follows the rules and regulation of sex life. That is gṛhastha. Not that simply united, man and woman, and live like animals. No, that is not gṛhastha. That is called gṛhamedhi. Gṛhamedhi and gṛhastha, there are two words. Gṛhamedhi means he does not know the rules and regulation. He thinks that this family, this husband and wife, children and home, that is everything. That is called gṛhamedhi. But gṛhastha means he is as good as a sannyāsī. Gṛhe tiṣṭhati 'pi gṛhastha(?). He is suitable . . . he is not suitable to become a brahmacārī, because every facility is there, but regulated. And one who follows the regulative principles, he is āśrama. Either it is gṛhastha āśrama or sannyāsa āśrama, the same thing. Āśrama means—very easily understood in India; there is discussion—the place where the spiritual culture is cultivated, that is called āśrama. What is the difference between the āśrama and ordinary home? Ordinary home means the . . . without any regulative principles, and āśrama means real purpose is self-realization, development of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. But if one is unable to accept sannyāsa āśrama or brahmacārī āśrama, that is gṛhastha āśrama. Not that animal āśrama.