No more sex life

Expressions researched:
"no more sex life" |"no more sex"

Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures

Lecture on BG 4.10 -- Vrndavana, August 2, 1974:

So we are ānandamaya. Our nature is to remain always jubilant in pleasure. But because we are in this material contact, we are not jubilant. This is our problem. That Kṛṣṇa is suggesting here, how to solve your problem. He says, vīta-rāga. "Give up this attachment, sense attachment." Rāga. Rāga means attachment. Vīta-rāga-bhaya.

And here we have got one quality, that fear, always fearing. Just like we are having these railings, why? We are afraid, we may not be attacked. The material life means āhāra-nidrā-bhaya-maithunaṁ ca. We must eat, we must sleep, and we must be afraid of, and we must have sex. This is material life. Āhāra-nidrā-bhaya-maithunam. And spiritual life means minus this. No more fear, no more attachment, no more sex life.

Just like in the life of the Gosvāmīs. Nidrāhāra-vihārakādi-vijitau **. Conquered. Conquered over these things, material necessities. So this is called penance. Here it is said. Bahavo jñāna-tapasā. First of all jñāna, understanding our position. This is called jñāna. And then practice tapasya. Tapasya means make these things, material necessities, zero. That is called tapasya. Tapasya. Because we are accustomed to all these things, eating, sleeping, mating and fearing. So to give up it is not possible all of a sudden. That is not possible. Because we are accustomed.

Just like the fan is rotating. You stop the switch, it will rotate. At least, for some time. Because the force is there. Similarly, even if we accept that these things should be stopped—no more eating, no more sleeping, no more sex, no more fearing, that should be... There must be determination. But it may go around because we are practiced to this. Therefore Kṛṣṇa says in the Bhagavad-gītā, api cet su-durācāro bhajate mām ananya-bhāk sādhur eva sa mantavyaḥ (BG 9.30). If we take to Kṛṣṇa consciousness full, even due to our past habits, we are attached to all things, Kṛṣṇa says it doesn't matter. But you keep yourself always in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

Lecture on BG 7.11-12 -- Bombay, February 25, 1974:

That is dharmāviruddhaḥ. That is not against religious principles. That is very nice. Just like to produce brahmacārīs. Brahmacārī, wherefrom the brahmacārī comes? It comes from the gṛhastha life. Unless one marries, how he can beget children who become brahmacārī? So if you produce brahmacārī, then you can produce hundreds of brahmacārī. That is allowed. But don't produce cats and dogs. That is dharmāviruddhaḥ. Kṛṣṇa says, "I am there." Everything is there. Kṛṣṇa is everything. Even in sexual intercourse there is Kṛṣṇa. But how? Dharmāviruddhaḥ, not against the laws of śāstra. In the śāstra it is said that you'll have sex life after the menstrual period, sex life you have. But when your wife becomes pregnant, no more sex life. No more sex life. This is the injunction of the śāstra. You cannot have sex life for producing illegitimate son. That is described in the... That is called varṇa-saṅkara. One who produces illegitimate children, the world becomes full of varṇa-saṅkara, unwanted children, and thus the whole world becomes hell. This is stated in the Bhagavad-gītā. Now it is a fact, everyone knows, that so many children are... Especially in the Western country, I have seen. A girl is not married, but she has got child. What is that? That is varṇa-saṅkara. So varṇa-saṅkara increases; the world becomes hellish. Why so much trouble now? Because... Don't mind. It is according to śāstra. The whole population is varṇa-saṅkara. Therefore there is no regulative principles. If you follow regulative principles, there is no problem. And this regulative principle is Kṛṣṇa svayam. Dharmaṁ tu sākṣād bhagavat-praṇītam (SB 6.3.19). He's giving, He's saying, dharmāviruddhaḥ kāmo 'smi bhūteṣu bharatarṣabha. So there is Kṛṣṇa consciousness even in begetting children. Provided you follow.

Lecture on BG 7.11-13 -- Bombay, April 5, 1971:

This is not the proper time." I am describing the story shortly. But the wife was too much agitated. So she obliged the husband to have sex life with her, and after sex life the Kaśyapa Muni said that "Your sons will be demons." Kaśyapa Muni, yes. So as a result of untimely sex life, two demons were born.

So there is regulation of sex life. Therefore Kṛṣṇa says, dharma-aviruddha, sex life is sanctioned under certain conditions. That is humanity, not like... Even the cats' and dogs' life there is some limitation. They have got a period of sex life. Similarly, for gṛhastha, there is a period for sex life. After menstrual period, five days after menstrual period, one may have sex life for begetting children. And if the woman or wife is pregnant, then there is no more sex life till the child is born and six months old. These are the regulations. And besides that, when there is sex life, there is a ceremony. It is not a secret thing. They could call, especially for the brāhmaṇas, they would call friends. Just like Hindu marriage takes place not by agreement but amongst the, in the presence of agni and friends and relatives and brāhmaṇas. That is sufficient witness. Similarly, when a brāhmaṇa goes to have sex intercourse for begetting child, there is a big ceremony. All the relatives, all the learned brāhmaṇas are present, and with their permission he goes for sex life. Sanctity. Therefore the child is born very nice. Because in such family ordinary living entity cannot come. Śucīnāṁ śrīmatāṁ gehe yoga-bhraṣṭo 'bhijāyate (BG 6.41). In the family of a pure brāhmaṇa, śucīnām, or in the family of rich man, yoga-bhraṣṭo 'bhijāyate, the persons who have not executed the yoga system completely or somehow or other fallen down, they are given the chance of taking birth in nice brāhmaṇa family or rich man's family. So they also take care how to beget children. That is garbhādhāna-saṁskāra. This is called dharma-aviruddha-kāma. This kāma is sanctioned. Otherwise you'll beget demons, just like Kaśyapa Muni, untimely sex.

Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures

Lecture on SB 2.1.7 -- Paris, June 15, 1974:

This is nairguṇya-sthā ramante sma guṇānukathane hareḥ. If you simply engage yourself only hearing about Kṛṣṇa, then you are nistraiguṇya. This is the process, simple, no other business.

So we have given you so many books. Don't sleep. Don't waste a single moment. Of course, you have to sleep. Reduce it as much as possible. Eating, sleeping, mating and defending-reduce it. Nidrāhāra-vihārakādi-vijitau **. That is the example given by the Gosvāmīs. Nidrā, āhāra and vihāra. Āhāra means eating, and vihāra means sense enjoyment, and nidrā means sleeping. Nidrāhāra-vihārakādi-vijitau: "Conquered over." That is spiritual platform. No more sleeping, no more eating, no more sex life. That is perfection. And one who can conquer over these three things, eating, sleeping and sex life, he's fearless, automatically. There is no requirement of defense because they can meet any situation. That is paramahaṁsa stage. Nivṛttā. Munayaḥ prāyeṇa munayo rājan nivṛttā vidhi. For them, there is no regulation. Don't imitate, that "I have become..." Some of our students exhibited that "There is no need of regu... We are all paramahaṁsas." Paramahaṁsa not; rascal number one. Here is the test. When you'll not be influenced by the material qualities, rajo-guṇa, sattva-guṇa, tamo-guṇa. And the test is that nidrāhāra-vihārakādi-vijitau, that conquering over the sleeping, nidrā. First thing is mentioned here. Sleeping and eating and sense enjoyment. Śrī-caitanya-mahāprabhu-guṇānukathane.

Lecture on SB 2.3.10 -- Los Angeles, May 28, 1972:

So hṛta-jñānāḥ is explained by Viśvanātha Cakravartī: naṣṭa-buddhayaḥ. Naṣṭa-buddhayaḥ, no intelligence. No intelligence. So why no intelligence? Now, that is also explained in the Bhagavad-gītā: antavat tu phalaṁ teṣām (BG 7.23). The benediction they get from the demigods... Just like it is recommended, we have read it, that if you want beautiful wife, you worship Umā. If you want very strong sexual powers, then you worship Indra. So the prescription is there. But they are foolish. Why foolish? Suppose you get very beautiful wife and very strong sex power, then how long you will enjoy it? Antavat tu phalaṁ teṣām. It will end. Five years, ten years. Even in living condition, if you have become old, seventy years, eighty years old, then what you will do with beautiful wife? There will be no more sex power. Vṛddhasya taruṇī-bhāryā. Vṛddhasya ... These are useless. When one has become old, to have a young wife is troublesome for him. So therefore we should not desire anything material.

Lecture on SB 3.26.6 -- Bombay, December 18, 1974:

Just like if your hands and legs are tied very fast with some rope, and if you say, "I am independent," what is the meaning of it? If your hands and legs are tied up by a strong rope and still you think that you are independent, has it got any meaning? Similarly, we are tied up by the stringent rules and regulation of the material nature so fast, and still if we think that we are independent, is that very sanity conjecture? No. Even in your eating process, you are so much tied up by the rules and regulation that if you eat little more than you can digest, then there will be some disease immediately. Immediately there will be indigestion, diarrhea. You will have to suffer. If you enjoy when you are youthful too much sex life, then after a few days you will be impotent, no more sex life. In this way we are simply tied up by the rules and regulation of the material nature, and still, we are defying the authority and thinking, "I am independent." This is called rascaldom, mūḍha. They have been described in the Bhagavad-gītā as mūḍha, all rascals. You cannot control the laws of material nature and you are thinking you are independent? And the laws of material nature means material nature is the agent. Real conductor is Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa says,

mayādhyakṣeṇa prakṛtiḥ

sūyate sa-carācaram

hetunānena kaunteya

jagad viparivartate

(BG 9.10)

So behind the material nature there is God. Under His direction material nature is working. Chāyeva yasya bhuvanāni bibharti durgā (Bs. 5.44). Durgā, the material nature power, is working just like chāya, shadow.

Lecture on SB 5.5.1-8 -- Stockholm, September 6, 1973:

He was searching. He saw that a small pot some rice is kept. So, "Raghunātha, what is this?" (He) began to eat, "Oh, (this) is very nice. You eat such nice things, you do not invite us?" (laughter). Raghunātha Dāsa Gosvāmī said, "It is not for you, don't take it, don't..." "No, no, it is very nice!" In this way Raghunātha Dāsa Gosvāmī increased, and later on, when after departure of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, when he went to live in Vṛndāvana with the six gosvāmīs, he is also one of the gosvāmīs, he was taking three times bathing, but not eating. Every alternate day, he will take a little buttermilk. That's all. This is called tapasya, austerity. Coming to the point of nil, no more eating. No more sleeping, no more sex life, no more defense. This is perfection. Who will accept this? (laughter)

Therefore Ṛṣabhadeva says nāyaṁ deho deha-bhājāṁ nṛloke, to collect for eating, sleeping and mating, whole day and night working, this is not good. Then what is good? Tapaḥ. Tapo divyaṁ putrakā yena sattvaṁ śuddhyed (SB 5.5.1). Sattvam means your existence has to be purified. Our existence, this existence is not purified, therefore we have got this material body. Now what is the decitement (?). Let us have this material, we are enjoying very nicely. What is this bad? But these rascals, they have no idea that we can avoid the, I mean to say, miserable condition of this body. We can avoid. This, in the Bhagavad-gītā it is said that, janma-mṛtyu-jarā-vyādhi-duḥkha-doṣānudar... (BG 13.9), but they do not know that this is unhappiness, this is distaste.

Lecture on SB 5.5.8 -- Vrndavana, October 30, 1976:

"Don't unite. Remain brahmacārī." But if you are not able, "All right, take a wife like a gentleman and live like a gentleman." Ekonari brahmacārī, that is also... If one is satisfied with one woman, then he is also brahmacārī. He is not vyabhicārī.

So that is regulated, that you must have wife. Not must have, but if you cannot avoid, take one wife and remain as a gṛhastha. And there are so many rules and regulations of gṛhastha life. Gṛhastha life is not that "Whenever I like, we have sex." No, that is not. There is regulated. Once in a month. When there is menstruation, and if the wife is pregnant—then no more sex life. There are so many rules and regulations. Gṛhastha means one who follows the rules and regulation of sex life. That is gṛhastha. Not that simply united, man and woman, and live like animals. No, that is not gṛhastha. That is called gṛhamedhi. Gṛhamedhi and gṛhastha, there are two words. Gṛhamedhi means he does not know the rules and regulation. He thinks that this family, this husband and wife, children and home, that is everything. That is called gṛhamedhi. But gṛhastha means he is as good as a sannyāsī. Gṛhe tiṣṭhati 'pi gṛhastha (?). He is suitable..., he is not suitable to become a brahmacārī, because every facility is there, but regulated. And one who follows the regulative principles, he is āśrama. Either it is gṛhastha āśrama or sannyāsa āśrama, the same thing. Āśrama means—very easily understood in India, there is discussion—the place where the spiritual culture is cultivated, that is called āśrama. What is the difference between the āśrama and ordinary home? Ordinary home means the..., without any regulative principles, and āśrama means real purpose is self-realization, development of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. But if one is unable to accept sannyāsa āśrama or brahmacārī āśrama, that is gṛhastha āśrama. Not that animal āśrama.

Lecture on SB 6.1.33 -- Honolulu, June 1, 1976:

Or even in any part of the universe, either you go to the moon planet or sun planet or any other planet. You see the sky is just like egglike, within that. They are called baddha-jīva. Baddha-jīva means entrapped. So entrapped living entities, they are in different grades of life, 8,400,000 different forms of life. Now, how they are entrapped? This sex. Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham. This is their pleasure. And in the spiritual world there is no sex. So one may question, "How they are living? Life is finished if there is no sex.' So somebody committed suicide, who was telling? Because doctor asked him not to have any more sex. Who told me the other day? Somebody told me, some big man. He was famous man. So he was forbidden. Especially when one is attacked with tuberculosis, the medical man advises, "No more sex. Then you will die soon." So this was ordered and he committed suicide.

1974 Conversations and Morning Walks

Morning Walk -- May 28, 1974, Rome:

Prabhupāda: No, you make the best use of a bad bargain. We shall depend more... Just like in New Vrindaban. They are coming to the city for preaching. So not absolutely we can abstain immediately because we have been dependent so long, many, many lives. You cannot. But the ideal should be introduced gradually. And make it perfect more and more and more and more. But there is possibility. Possibility if you live locally and make your arrangement, you get your foods... The real necessity is, bodily necessity is, eating, sleeping, mating and defending. This is necessity. So if you can eat locally, you can sleep locally, you can have your sex life also locally and you can defend locally, then what is the wrong? These are the necessities. We are not stopping this. We are not stopping, "No more sex life." That is nonsense, another nonsense. You must have. Marry. That's all. So you can marry locally and live. Where is the difficulty? Defend. If somebody comes to attack, there must be men to defend. And eating and sleeping. Where is your difficulty? Manage locally, as far as possible. After all, these are the necessities of body. So it can be solved locally. Is it impossible? To solve the bodily necessities? What do you think? Is it impossible?

Satsvarūpa: No, it's very simple.

Prabhupāda: Then do it. Do it. Set example perfectly. This is nice park. Yes. You can have your park locally. Where is the difficulty? Garden. Fruits, flowers, garden. There is park. Also you can have a pond like this. People are doing that locally. In Bengal especially. Whole Bengal was a garden. It was so nice. Whole Bengal was a garden.

Room Conversation -- June 20, 1974, Germany:

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Devotee: And in the future it will pass completely.

Devotee: So even if you are married sex life can be material too.

Prabhupāda: Yes. That is also regulated. When the wife is menstrual period, so after five days you can have sex life and as soon as she is pregnant, no more sex life. So, sex life is meant for progeny, not for sense pleasure. Even the animals, dogs, cats, they have a period for sex life and as soon as the female dog is pregnant, no more sex life. In certain months of the year they have sex life, not all the year. So even the dogs they follow regulation and we human being, we do not follow. The dogs have no restriction. The female dogs are naked and they can capture anyone, anywhere, but they do not have unless there are certain period. Hare Kṛṣṇa. Therefore in spiritual life restricted regulated sex life, is essential.

Devotee: Religious is automatically regulated sex life?

Prabhupāda: If it is religious life. If in the name of religion it is sinful life, that is another thing. Alright Hare Kṛṣṇa. (break) Samaḥ sarveṣu bhūteṣu. samaḥ sarveṣu, mad-bhaktiṁ labhate. That is the stage of making advancement in devotional life. Equality. Equality is possible when we are on the platform of spiritual life. Otherwise the United Nations will never be able to unite. That is not possible. (indistinct) If they unite, if they try to unite on Kṛṣṇa consciousness, then. Otherwise.... We are all part and parcel of God. Somehow or other we are all differently dressed, although we are one. (indistinct) Now just like you are Canadian, I am Indian. (indistinct).

1976 Conversations and Morning Walks

Morning Walk -- February 26, 1976, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Sannyāsa means ultimate success, because this human life is meant for becoming disgusted with this material life: "No more." Material life means to take a body and enjoy this material āhāra-nidrā, sleeping twenty-four hours, eating like elephant, and sex life like a monkey, these animals. This is material life, eating, sleeping, mating, and always afraid of. This is material life. And human life means to take freedom from these four things: no more afraid, no more sex, no more hankering after eating or sleeping. That is success. Everyone... You'll see in the sparrow in the morning. They're enjoying sex. So this is material life: eating, sleeping, mating and fearing. Āhāra-nidrā-bhaya-maithunaṁ ca. And spiritual life means to become free from all this nonsense. That is spiritual life. They do not know what is spiritual life. The whole world, they do not know what is spiritual life. This is spiritual life, to become free from these four abominable things.

Hṛdayānanda: They are trying to increase these four things.

Prabhupāda: That means cheating themselves. What is the use of taking sannyāsa and cheat yourself? Material life means punaḥ punaś carvita-carvaṇānām (SB 7.5.30), repeatedly doing the same thing. Either as human being or as monkey or as a small ant or the demigods, but doing the business is the same, four things: eating, sleeping, mating and fearing. In different scale, doing the same business. Therefore it is called punaḥ punaḥ, "again and again," carvita-carvaṇānām, "chewing the chewed." If one is sober, he thinks that "These four business, I have done many, many lives, as sparrow, or as jackal, or as demigod, and I have got this human form. Again I am doing this? So what is benefit of this human form of life?" This is sense. "I got this valuable life, and I am still doing the same thing as dogs and cats and sparrows? Then what is the difference between me and the dogs?" That is sense. "What is my better engagement?" That better engagement is Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Then his life is successful. Otherwise what is the use of...? Again become a sparrow. Again wait for millions of years to come by evolutionary process to the human form of life. You see? This is going on. Punaḥ punaś carvita-carvaṇānām adānta-gobhir viśatāṁ tamisram (SB 7.5.30). Because they cannot control the sense, they are going in the darkest part of this material existence.

Morning Walk -- March 19, 1976, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: No, no, no, first of all, the principle? What is this principle?

Rāmeśvara: To train him in the methods of...

Prabhupāda: Yes. So that means authority. You are teaching him to accept the authority. And you are teaching against authority. Everything contradictory. One side, contraceptive; one side, illicit sex. And the.... But Vedic civilization says, "All right, as soon as woman is widow, let her remain as a saintly woman—no more sex." But "No, you can marry and you can have sex hundred times daily, but use contraceptive." Is that civilization? To train one woman not to have any more sex, this is also contraceptive. And another way that "You can have sex any amount, as many times as you like. Take this contraceptive." Whose civilization better? And you call him to be trained up to accept authority and teach him, "Don't accept any authority." Is that education? Nonsense.

Haṁsadūta: They're doing that.

Prabhupāda: Yes, they are doing that.

Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa: This is the idea of the secular state, though...

Prabhupāda: Well, secul.... Whatever you name it, you're all set of rascals. That's all. (laughter) You can change the name in different way, but on the whole, you are all set of rascals. This is the whole world's beauty.

1977 Conversations and Morning Walks

Room Conversation -- May 8, 1977, Hrishikesh:

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: That boy who was speaking to you that evening quoted that Kṛṣṇa says, kāmo 'smi bhāratarṣabha.

Prabhupāda: Kāmo 'smi, that should be. That kāma is not that, that whenever they like, have sex and then go away. That is his kāma . Once you have sex life and the woman first of all debauches like... You have to make it public that "I am going to have garbhādhāna-saṁskāra." It is not a secret thing. It is a ceremony. And then, when she is pregnant, no more sex. No more sex means so long the child is there, ten months, and unless the child is grown up at least six months, no sex. That means once you have sex and then abstain for sixteen months. You know what is that dharma? So who is such a foolish man that for once having sex and then abstaining...? Therefore those who could not abstain, they used to keep many wives.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yeah, I mean, what is the purpose of... A man is foolish because he's attracted by sex life, but even in marriage...

Prabhupāda: It is foolish, undoubtedly, but there is some concession. But this concession is so restriction that he'll become intelligent, that "What is the use of this concession?" Loke vyavāyāmiṣa-madya-sevā nityā hi jantoḥ. It is not encouragement. The so much restriction means to convince him indirectly that "This is nonsense. Better you give it up." Otherwise why restriction? In other things... Suppose eating bhagavat-prasādam. There is no such restriction...

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Once every six...

1968 Correspondence

Letter to Satsvarupa -- San Francisco 20 September, 1968:

In your letter of the 17th instant, you have very frankly inquired from me about householder life, especially in the matter of sex relationship. A sannyasi is not supposed to be asked about anything sexual. But still, because you are so much dependent on my instruction, so I must give you information as far as possible. Married life is not for sex indulgence. The principle of marriage is on the background of getting good children. So the householder is allowed to have sex life once in a month, just after the menstrual period. The menstrual period prolongs at least for 5 days, so after this 5 days, one can have sex life provided he desires to get a child. And as soon as the wife is pregnant, no more sex life, until the child is born and is grown up at least for 6 months. After that, one may have sex life on the same principle. If one does not want more than one or two children, he should voluntarily stop sex life. But one should not strictly use any contraceptive method and at the same time indulge in sex life. That is very much sinful. If the husband and wife can voluntarily restrain by powerful advancement of Krishna Consciousness. That is the best method. It is not necessary that because one has got wife, therefore you must have sex life. The whole scheme is to avoid sex life as far as possible. And if one can avoid it completely then it is a great victory for him. Married life is a sort of license for sex life on condition of raising children. So you should try to understand these principles of married life and use your discretion. You should not imitate great personalities like Bhaktivinode Thakura, but you must follow His footprints. But it is not always possible to have the same success as great personalities like Bhaktivinode Thakura achieved. So in all circumstances you should try to follow the footprints of authorities but never to imitate them. Unless Jadurani develops a better health and strength, I do not advise her to become pregnant. I think you will understand the instruction as I have given and try to follow it as far as possible.

1970 Correspondence

Letter to Trivikrama -- Los Angeles 7 March, 1970:

I do not think that Hamsaduta is pressing you for marriage. Marriage is a concession for a person who cannot control his sex desires. Of course it is a difficult job for the boys in this country because they have free access to intermingling with the girls. Under the circumstances, it is my open order for everyone that everyone can marry without any artificial pose. But if somebody is able to remain a Brahmacari, there should not be any canvassing for his marriage.

But at the mature age say after 50 years old age, everyone should separate from wife. Married life does not mean that one should continue to live with wife throughout the whole life; at a certain stage, say between 20-25 years, one may accept a wife, live with her to the maximum age of 50 years, and then there should be no more sex relationship—stringently. And at the mature old age, say 65-70 years, everyone must accept the renounced order of Sannyas; if not in dress, then in action positively.

Our students, either Brahmacari or Householder, are being trained up for constant engagement in Krsna Consciousness service without any personal interest. This is perfect order of Sannyas. So if everyone is trained up in this line of action, all of us are Sannyasis in all circumstances. This is explained in the Bhagavad-gita that anyone who is not after the result of any action, but simply he acts as a matter of duty for Krsna, he is a factual Sannyasi and Yogi.

So whatever status of life we may accept, this principle of working for Krsna as a matter of our duty, without being attracted by the result—should be followed by us.