Expressions researched:
"not married"
|"unmarried"
Interviewer: Do you have a name that you call... are they called students? Like, would he be called a student or a...?
Devotee: Brahmacārī.
Prabhupāda: Brahmacārī. We have got four divisions. Those who are not married, they are called brahmacārīs. And those who are married, they are called gṛhasthas. And those who are retired, they are called vānaprasthas. And those who are renounced, they have no connection with anything worldly, they are called sannyāsa.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I told her, I said, if she wished to come with us, (break) that only married women could come with us. I told her that. Because it was not good for men, unmarried men, brahmacārīs and brahmacārīṇis, to constantly be mixing, and so I felt that it would be better for married people than brahmacārīs. And she... (someone moves microphone) ...did she wish to come?
Prabhupāda: She likes this... (microphone noise) But also marriage problem, one must have a choice. So if we force something, that is not (chuckling) good. At least, in your country it is not... Of course, in your country, the husband...the boys and girls are, I mean to say, not major, whatever the parents force, that is another thing. When the boys and girls are grown up, it is not possible.
Prabhupāda: That is stated in Śrīmad-Bhāgavata, in the Vaikuṇṭha. There are women. They also, men and women there is, and they also go by airplane, fly in the sky for trip, and all of them are devotees to Nārāyaṇa, Lakṣmī-Nārāyaṇa associate. So these things are described. So similarly, amongst the gopīs also. So in the spiritual life there is nothing like this sex pleasure. And the more we forget sex life, that means we are advancing in spiritual life. So this should be the attitude, that women, Godsisters, they should be nicely treated so that they may not feel any... After all, they are weaker. That should be our policy. Anyway... And if somebody agrees to marry, oh, that is welcome. There is no objection. Marriage is allowed. And so many married couples, they are very nicely living. Those who have gone to London, they were not married in the beginning, and I got them married. Similarly, here also, Harṣarāṇī and others. In New York also, Balāi dāsī, Advaita. So if the boy and girl agrees to marry, it is very nice. There is no objection. If not, they should be given all protection.
Prabhupāda: There was no force. There was no force. Only proposal. That's all. When it was proposed before me, I also said, "It depends on the choice." So anyway, go on with your work, saṅkīrtana movement you have started. It is very nice. And it is being responded. So increase it. If simply brahmacārīs can do it, that is best.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: We would all like it that way. We would prefer it that way.
Prabhupāda: Or married couple. If some girls want to go, then she may marry somebody. That will be nice. Of course, in your country there is no such restriction if unmarried girls go with you. But if she is married, that is better. So you make your choice in that way. So she is going? This girl?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Śrīmatī?
Prabhupāda: Śrīmatī?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes. She wishes to go. I asked her, I told her, "So you have to get married." And she just said, "Oh, I have been married. I just want to marry Kṛṣṇa now."
Prabhupāda: Just like the love between Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, it is called parakiya. They are not married husband and wife. But Rādhārāṇī appears to be wife of some other gentleman. But Kṛṣṇa, from childhood, They were friends. So Radhārāṇī could not forget Kṛṣṇa. She used to come to Kṛṣṇa and stand like that. That's all. And He was playing. Kiśora-Kiśorī, They were boy and girl. But there is no inebriety. Just like here the boy and girls mix and there are so many abominable things. Distressful, which is binding their material bondage. So that friendship between boy and girl is there, but without inebriety. Kṛṣṇa had so many gopīs, girlfriend, but there was no contraceptive pills. (laughter) That is the beauty. Here, the so-called love is lust. And there, that is the highest. The same thing, obverted, perverted reflection.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Also there is a story in the Bhāgavatam about the girls; they were offering to Lord Śiva.
Prabhupāda: Yes. That is another feature of Lord Caitanya. He taught in that instruction that there is no need of worshiping demigods. The incident is that in India the unmarried girls, they are encouraged to worship Lord Śiva especially in the month of Vaiśākha, March-April. And they will go to the Ganges side and prepare Śivaliṅga, and they'll... That means Śiva will be pleased upon them to offer a husband like Lord Śiva. Śiva is very peaceful and very great devotee and most powerful at the same time. So that is the ideal husband. So they brought worshipable paraphernalia for worshiping Śiva on the bank of the Ganges, and Caitanya Mahāprabhu, as naughty boy, approached them. "Oh, my dear sister, what you are doing? Oh, you have brought so many nice things. Give it to Me, and Lord Śiva will be very much pleased. Oh, you are worshiping Durga? She is My maidservant and Lord Śiva is a great devotee of Me. So you please offer Me all these things; they will be satisfied. You don't require to offer separately." By this, He wanted to instruct that worshiping the Supreme Lord is the appeasement of other demigods. You don't require to appease them separately. This instruction.
Prabhupāda: If you practice brahmācārya, then you become free, seventy-five percent freedom immediately. But you do not want to undergo the austerities of a brahmacārī, and still, you want to remain as an unmarried man. Everywhere in the world it is going on. This is increasing. That is stated here, sadācāra. Naṣṭa-sadācāro dāsyāḥ saṁsarga-dūṣitaḥ. The illicit connection with man and woman will certainly make him abominable, fallen down to this abominable life. I... When I was... In my younger days, when I was in business, so I was to take agency one of big company, Smith's Transit Company. So they had to... I had to give some guarantee of my honesty. So in that program the question was whether married or unmarried. Because unmarried man mostly become dishonest. So that inquiry was there, "Whether he is married?" Married man cannot be dishonest because he has got responsibility. If he is arrested he will be insulted in his family. His family members will be in difficulty. Therefore he does not commit dishonesty very easily unless it is absolutely... But that should not be done. But unmarried man, because he has got no responsibility, he commits all kinds of sinful activity. That's a fact. Therefore in our Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement we do not allow such illicit sex life, no. You must get yourself married. And practically, we are seeing, that is very effective and that is going on nicely. All right.
Prabhupāda: Jayānanda, how are you? So you are married now? Eh? So where is your marriage presentation?
Jayānanda: Pardon?
Prabhupāda: When you are not married, you gave me five thousand dollars. Now you are married, you must give me now ten thousand, double. Come on. Hare Kṛṣṇa. (indistinct) Where is your brother?
Makhanlal: I think he is in London.
Prabhupāda: What he is doing now?
Makhanlal: Building the Ratha-yātrā carts.
Prabhupāda: Ohh.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Should we go chant our rounds now?
Prabhupāda: Yes. (break) But one thing is that all right, he can go as my relative, because as visitor if he goes, then he cannot be admitted in school.
Guest: That's right.
Prabhupāda: But if he goes as my unmarried grandson...
Guest: Yes.
Prabhupāda: Then he can get. So that will be done. (Hindi) So your sons are very good sons. I have got all blessings for them. (Hindi)
Devotee (1): A child. One boy was born just before we came here in August and he seems to be a devotee, the baby, because he, whenever you say, "Hare Kṛṣṇa," he smiles.
Prabhupāda: (indistinct) Why he's not married man?
Devotee (1): Another wife, second. He says it was a grave mistake because if we had come sooner (indistinct) So we're trying to engage him. Also this girl which you're going to initiate, she can speak a fair amount of Indonesian already, and she can help translation work (indistinct). That girl has a sister who also chants sixteen rounds and follows the rules. Though sometimes in her past she failed and stopped and she is not as steady. So I didn't recommend.
Prabhupāda: ...innocent child, woman, they're innocent. They should be given full protection. There is no such thing. They're being exploited, keeping them unmarried, and the hotels, and the clubs, and the, what is called? Top... top...
Devotees: Topless.
Prabhupāda: Topless, bottomless. That is going on. It is a regular policy that girls may remain unmarried, and the drunkards and the meat-eaters may take advantage of the prostitution. This is the policy. They have no sympathy. So many hundreds and thousands of innocent girls, they're like children. And they're exposed to prostitution. They have no shelter. Now these girls who are with us, they're feeling some shelter, you see? That we are giving some shelter. Everything should be reformed, political, social, and be, you American nation—you're favored nation, that I am always speaking; you should utilize the favor of God and be yourself perfect—and be leader of the whole world.
Prabhupāda: ...seen that one who is married, he's lamenting, and who is not married, he's also lamenting. Is it not? Ah? One who is married, he's thinking, "Why did I marry? I would have remained free." He's lamenting. And who is not married, "Oh, I did not accept wife. I would have been happy." (laughs) (Hindi) There's a Hindi... It just like (Hindi). One who has eaten, he's also lamenting, and who has not eaten, he's also lamenting. (break) Tṛpyanti neha... That is said in Sanskrit. Tṛpyanti neha kṛpaṇā bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ (SB 7.9.45). Kṛpaṇā, by one's sex life he gets some children and he's... As soon as there is child, there is suffering. The child is suffering and the parents also suffering to take care. So, again he begets another child. Therefore it is said tṛpyanti neha kṛpaṇā bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ. Behind this child-producing there is so much difficulties and trouble. He knows that. But again pro... Doing the same thing. Tṛpyanti neha kṛpaṇā bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ. Therefore a sane person, kaṇḍūtivan manasijaṁ viṣaheta dhīraḥ. Therefore one who is dhīra, one who becomes sober, he tolerates the sensations, itching sensations. It is after all itching sensation. So one who can tolerate the itching sensation, he saves so much trouble.
Indian man: Yes. You can recognize here. But now they are changed completely.
Prabhupāda: Yes. When the girl has no this covering, that means she is virgin. She is not married. In this way all the signs are there. This is prosita bhartrka. Prosita-bhartrka means one whose husband is not at home, outside. Then she will not dress, she will not take regular bath, so that people may know that her husband is not at home.
Bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ. After marrying they see it is very great responsibility. "Now let me take sannyāsa." That's all. Why you marry? Because he finds that after marriage there are so many difficulties. So irresponsible man. So after there is difficulties; that's a fact. So why should you go to the difficulty? Therefore the conclusion is the married life is not required. But if you cannot tolerate, all right, get this concession, live very gentlemanly. This is marriage. Otherwise for higher sense, higher elevation... High elevation, of course, one who is actually on the higher elevation, he is married or not married, it doesn't matter. But on the whole, the sex life is not necessary.
Prabhupāda: So immediately she brought from Dvārakā-dhāma palace direct to the palace of Uṣā. What is called, the asura, what is his name?
Yogeśvara: Bhaumāsura.
Prabhupāda: Bhaumāsura, Bāṇāsura, Bāṇāsura. The picture, where is that picture, find out. Bāṇāsura. Bāṇāsura was appreciating, "Oh, very nice couple." But he had to challenge, "Why you have entered my palace and talking with my unmarried girl?"
Prabhupāda: There is no law; it is all lusty desire. All law or no law, these are all nonsense. The śāstra has... It is lusty desire, that's all. Everyone wants to fulfill a lusty desires. So unless one is not in the modes of goodness or transcendental, everyone will like. That is the material world, rajas-tamaḥ. Rajas-tamo-bhāvaḥ kāma-lobhadayaś ca ye (SB 1.2.19). It is all discussed in the śāstra. Just like I am hungry man. There is foodstuff. I want to eat it. So if I take by force, that is illegal, and if I pay for it, then it is legal. But I am the hungry man, I want it. This is going on. Everyone is lusty. Therefore they say "legalized prostitution." They want it. So marriage is something legalized, that's all. The passion and the desire is the same, either married or not married. So this Vedic law says, "Better married. Then you will be controlled." Married life... So he will not be so lusty as without married life. So the gṛhastha life is a concession-same lusty desire under rules and regulation. That's all. That is our higher... (?) Without married life he will commit rapes in so many ways, so better let him be satisfied with one, both the man and woman, and make progress in spiritual life. That is concession. Everyone in this material world has come with these lusty desires and greediness. Even demigods like Lord Śiva, Lord Brahmā... The Lord Brahmā became lusty after his daughter. And Lord Śiva became so mad after Mohinī-murti. So what to speak of us insignificant creatures. So lusty desire is there. That is material world. Unless one is fully Kṛṣṇa conscious, this lusty desire cannot be checked. It is not possible.
Amogha: They call them brahmacārīṇi?
Prabhupāda: Yes. Because nowadays almost every girl is unmarried. So they have devised this āśrama that "Come here." And women can be sold at any cost. People are lusty. So one woman supplied, he pays hundred rupees, two hundred rupees. Business is going on.
Prabhupāda: Illicit sex means animal life. The marriage is in the human society, not in the dog society. So if one has illicit sex, that means he is no better than dog.
Guest (2): I don't quite understand that. Did you say that illicit means sex between people who are not married?
Prabhupāda: Yes. Sex is allowed only married couple. And that is also only for begetting child.
Prabhupāda: Yes, that is called pravṛtti, pravṛttir eṣā bhūtānāṁ nivṛttis tu mahā-phalā. This is natural inclination, but if you can stop it, that is victory.
Jesuit: No, I can't accept that.
Prabhupāda: Now why you do not accept? In the Christian religion there is unmarried life.
Jesuit: Married life is a good life. The use of sex is good.
Prabhupāda: Good?
Prabhupāda: Just like the priest was saying, "Oh, sex is very nice. Why you stop?" Just see. And he is a priest. Why the Roman Catholics they are ordered not to marry? Why? Roman Catholic are supposed... the fathers and priests, they should remain unmarried, is it not?
Madhudviṣa: Yes. They remain celibate. He was saying that it is a personal preference.
Devotee: They have no general rule. It's just that if you want to be celibate, then that's very nice, but if you want to have sex life...
Prabhupāda: Then why they have recommended this, unless there is some benefit?
Prabhupāda: She was paid for that.
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa: Yes, it facilitated our preaching work. At first, I was against the idea, but I found it was good.
Prabhupāda: No, it was not good to give, keep young unmarried girl.
Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa: She is married with children. She is older. Her husband was murdered.
Prabhupāda: Ācchā?
Prabhupāda: So in his spiritual position everyone is a brāhmaṇa.
Brahmānanda: But you give brahminical initiation to unmarried women.
Prabhupāda: Yes. But on spiritual point she is brāhmaṇa. On the spiritual platform there is no such distinction.
Devotee (7): Oh, it's not possible for a woman to become a sannyāsī.
Prabhupāda: No.
Jackie Vaughn: That's an immediate need, and...
Prabhupāda: Immediate, you can think like that, but there is no benefit, immediate or belated. There is no actual benefit. The unmarried girls are given this welfare, what is called?
Jackie Vaughn: Welfare.
Prabhupāda: But still they are killing their children. Becoming more and more involved in sinful activities.
Prabhupāda: You'll find in the Vedic literature, the father's responsibility is until she's handed over to a suitable young man. And the husband's responsibility is so long she hasn't got elderly children. At that time, when she has got elderly children, he can leave home and take sannyāsa. So the process is a woman is kept under protection always. There is no independence for woman. That is... Still, in India it is going on. The father is obliged to find out a suitable husband for the daughter and give her in his charge. Then his responsibility finished. Until that, she is, he's responsible to take care of the daughter. Unmarried girl to remain always under the protection of the father.
Prabhupāda: And he was old. So he had to agree. Otherwise, the whole thing was catastrophe. So the king said, "Yes. She's not married. If you like I can offer my daughter to you." Then everything was settled up. But the daughter was young, and he was like her grand, great-grandfather. Match was not at all suitable, but he had to offer. So this girl also took it seriously, and she was serving the old husband very faithfully like honest, chaste wife. Never mind. Then, some days after, the same saintly person was visited by two heavenly physicians, aśvinī-kumāras. The aśvinī-kumāras, they had some difficulty. They were not allowed in the society of the demigods while drinking soma-rasa. They had some defects, something like that.
Prabhupāda: One enters into the school. Does it mean in one year or six months he becomes MA? He has to wait. But he has entered the school. There is expectation of his passing MA examination. But one who has not entered school, loitering in the street, he has no... He's hopeless. But this man has hope. Wait. The same example: If one girl is not married, then where is the question of child? Everything has to wait. Therefore it is said, utsāhād dhairyāt. One should have proper enthusiasm and patience. That is wanted. How one foolishly expects the result immediately? You sow the seed; you water it; it grows; then it becomes big tree; then pick the fruit; then eat. Immediately you cannot expect. Immediately you have got. As soon as you get the seed, you have got the thing, undoubtedly. But you must give time the seed to fructify. That required.
Prabhupāda: You'll advise, but you'll never do it. That is going on. (break) ...elephants dance, and we see. This is Indian policy. These white elephants, they'll come and dance, and you'll see. And you are busy with your daughter's marriage. That's all. (break) ...means vairāgya-vidyā. Vairāgya-vidyā-nija-bhakti-yoga (CC Madhya 6.254). Nobody can become a bhakta unless he has disgusted with material life. "I shall do this, I shall do that." And he'll never do bhakti-yoga. That's all. This is not possible. (break) Before leaving my family life I wanted to get my all sons and daughters married, but some of them disagreed, some of them... My wife disagreed. Let them go to hell, I don't care. Time is up. Never mind you are married or not married. Then see your own business. (break) I or you, then who will take care of the marriage of your daughter? Suppose you die immediately? Then who will take care?
Guest (1): God will give them...
Prabhupāda: Because if they remain free, they get young women free. That's rascal's man brain. That "You take freedom."
Dr. Patel: This is a third-class argument.
Prabhupāda: This is argument! This is argument. This is fact. These rascals keep these women unmarried to enjoy daily new, new young women, these karmīs, these rascals. There is club. There is club. These young women are paid for that topless, bottomless. You do not know.
Dr. Patel: No. I have never seen a girl naked. I refuse to...
Prabhupāda: I have... I know everything.
Prabhupāda: Just see. (laughs) Kṣatriya spirit. Kṣatriya spirit. Just qualify yourself. Then you marry.
Bhāgavata: (laughing) Gargamuni Mahārāja says we should introduce this in ISKCON.
Gargamuni: Then there'll be no marriage. (break)
Prabhupāda: ...of kṣatriya. Kṣatriya girls were not married so easily. There were so many competitors. You know Rukmiṇī, Rukmiṇī-haraṇa? Kṛṣṇa had to fight. Without fighting there was no marriage.
Hari-śauri: Now we have fighting after marriage. (laughter)
Yogeśvara: She can speak in the language. She'll be all right as long as she has some good association.
Prabhupāda: Yes.
Yogeśvara: That means, perhaps, a gṛhastha couple, so that there's some girl for her to be with. (break)
Prabhupāda: ...not married. Better if she would have been married. So there is no candidate for marrying her?
Yogeśvara: Not in France. At one point she was expressing the desire to receive some training, and she even mentioned Los Angeles. But any center where she could receive training would be helpful. She's enthusiastic, but...
Prabhupāda: Yes. I know that she's enthusiastic.
Prabhupāda: He was little crazy. Might have gone away from home. Very intelligent boy he was. His mother made him crazy. Very... He was standing first in school. Very intelligent. She spoiled the whole family life. It was good for... For my youngest daughter I selected one very nice boy, rich man. She did not give. She wanted to keep her as her assistant, and she's not married.
Prabhupāda: Yes. In Calcutta in our childhood I have seen many big, big prostitutes, Vaiṣṇavī.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Really?
Prabhupāda: All, their behavior, their living... Simply they were not married. They were kept by some big men. Otherwise everything was so nice. Big, big prostitutes.
Bhakti-caru: (Bengali)
Prabhupāda: There was a big temple of prostitutes in Calcutta, Kach-Kamil.
Upendra: Prabhupādajī? I have one question since you are speaking about gṛhastha. If a brahmacārī decides to get married and then enters into married life, should he be encouraged to maintain that responsibility throughout his life?
Prabhupāda: No, no, unless he can maintain family, why should he marry?
Upendra: Well, I'm specifically questioning the fact that some... Of course, our movement is young, but so many women, their husbands leave them, and they are so young and they're left. So these young women I'm thinking may become a disturbance in the future to the movement, because how a woman can remain unmarried for so many years? Her husband has left her after a few years of marriage. Generally...
Prabhupāda: What we can do?
Karna was known as the son of a carpenter; nobody knew that he was the eldest son of Kunti, and a Ksatriya. This was not known until he died, and Kunti began to cry. Yudhisthira asked her why you are crying, he is the enemy, and she said, he was my first son. He was born out of her ear, so he was called Karna. When she was very young, she got some mantra which could be used to call any demigod, so just to try it, as experiment, to see if it worked, she called the sun god. He immediately appeared there before her, and said, I will give you the benediction of one son; she replied that she simply was experimenting with this mantra, that she did not want a son, and she became afraid as she was unmarried girl. He said I shall give you a son anyway, and it will be born out of your ear. So as she was virgin girl, she became very frightened that people may say things, so she put him into the ocean. Yes, Karna had many extraordinary attributes. He was a great soldier, and a most charitable man. He was so strong that it was not possible for Arjuna to kill him; he had to take unfair tactics and kill him. Karna could have killed Arjuna, but by Krishna's Grace, Arjuna killed Karna. In other words, Krishna killed Karna, otherwise, nobody could have killed him.
I understand that you are trying to organize a Brahmacarini asrama. A Brahmacarini asrama is certainly a great necessity because there are so many girl devotees who are attached to our Krishna Consciousness movement. Those who are married couple, there is nothing to be said—simply to live together as husband and wife. But those who are not married certainly such Brahmacaris and Brahmacarinis should not live together. That is a special restricted term of our cult. But because in your country there is no distinction between boys and girls, or man and woman, they can freely mix without any restriction, I did not give too much stricture on this point because by such stricture they might be annoyed, and whatever Krishna Consciousness they are trying to develop might have been checked.
Because the body of a devotee is not material. The body of a devotee should not be neglected as material. This has been warned by the Gosvamis, that we should not neglect any material thing if it can be used for Krsna Consciousness. So her body, because it is engaged in Krsna's service, is valuable. So not only she, but all of you, should take care of this poor girl. She has left her parents and she is unmarried, no husband, so of course, she is not poor, because she has got so many God-brothers, and sisters, and above all Krsna, she is not at all poor. In spite of that, we should care about her health. That is our duty, and inform her that she may not strain beyond her capacity. Of course, such kinds of trouble may come and go, a devotee s not afraid of such things, but still it is our duty to think always that this is Krsna's body, and this must not be neglected.
And in the Srimad-Bhagavatam it is recommended by Prahlada Maharaja that unmarried boys should accept this Bhagavata dharma or Krishna Consciousness for their life's benefit. We have to convince them about this, that this life is very valuable so long this material education has misled us. Misled us in this way, that it is without Krishna Consciousness. So when Krishna Consciousness added to this material advancement, it becomes aromatic gold. Gold is very beautiful, but if there is some aroma, aromatic gold, if it is available in the market, it will have greater value. So material civilization is very good for comforts of the body. Now if we do not utilize the strength and comforts of body for Krishna Consciousness, it will be used for sense gratification.
I beg to acknowledge receipt of your two letters dated 8 and 17, 1968, and I am so happy to learn that you are proud of being husband of Jadurani. Yes, you should be proud of having a nice wife like that. And I have handed over my daughter unto you, because I knew it that you will be the perfect boy to take care of her. Recently she was deteriorating in her health, so I was very much anxious about her, therefore, I decided to give her in your charge. Of course, even when you were not married, you were taking care of her always, but when the relationship is there as husband and wife, there is the question of responsibility. So I wanted you to take that responsibility. Anyway, everyone in our society thinks that your combination is very much appropriate. So be happy with your nice wife and take care of her properly.
Regarding the Brijbasi picture that you sent me, the story is that when Maharaja Yudhisthira was declared king, he was performing the Rasuya Yajna ceremony. In this ceremony Krishna was elected as the President to preside over the meeting. Sisupal was a rival of Krishna, and insulted Krishna with vile words at this ceremony. Arjuna's youngest brother, Sahadeva, became so angry at this that he was ready to attack Sisupal, but he was restrained by both Krishna and Arjuna. This is the explanation of the picture.
The term Devi Dasi may be used for either married or unmarried female devotees. I thank you once more for informing me of your well-being. I hope this meets you in good health.
Regarding your need for a typist. Try to find out somebody to help you for now. If need be, when I go to New York in April I shall arrange for someone to type for you. Regarding the departments not contributing to the temple, this is not very satisfactory situation. The method of contributing should be those who are not married should contribute all their income to the temple. Those who are married should contribute 50%. That should be the principle of contribution of the members and followers of the Krishna Consciousness movement. So if there are problems in this matter, discuss it in the board meetings. If such things are not settled there, then what is the meaning of this board of trustees? The local management of affairs must be decided by the board, and that decision should be final.
He is presently studying the Bhagavad-gita and the Srimad-Bhagavatam and other Vedic scriptures under strict discipline and regulation. As such, he is forbidden to indulge in the following activities:
1. Illicit sexual connection (unmarried sex indulgence).
2. Non vegetarian diet (the eating of meat, fish eggs, and all animal foods strictly forbidden).
3. Intoxication of all sorts (including smoking, drinking of alcoholic beverages, drinking tea, coffee, drugs, etc.) are strictly forbidden.
MY INITIATED STUDENTS ARE STRICTLY FORBIDDEN TO INDULGE in the following principles of degradation: (1) All forms of intoxication, including coffee, tea, cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, etc. (2) The eating of animal foods, such as meat, fish, and eggs. Rather, their diet consists of Prasadam, especially offered foodstuffs (vegetarian), (3) Unmarried sex indulgence, (4) Gambling, or idle sports of any sort. Their lives are dedicated to serving God, and as such, they have no time to squander on unbeneficial activities or non-Godly activities.
"So in the beginning of the creation, first of all there were the four unmarried sons of Brahma (Kumaras) and they underwent severe austerities being situated in avowed celibacy for realization of the Absolute Truth."
Rejection of illicit sex life is our first motto. So I request you to stop immediately all this nonsense and remain fixed up in your good character. I have got very much appreciation of your abilities and I hope you will do the needful so that there may not be any more accusation against your good character. Any god-brother's wife or any unmarried girl in our society should be always treated as mother and sister. Any married woman should be treated as mother.
Regarding Prayag Devi Dasi, yes, a woman requires protection. But normally we regard that any unmarried woman with children should take security of the temple—that is more secure than the protection of Krishna—and be satisfied with her children. Marriage is simply a license for having sex, so we are not very fond of sanctioning unnecessary sense gratification. However in this case, if you think the match is favorable for their advancing nicely in Krishna Consciousness, then I shall agree with your judgement. One thing is, there should be a formal contract signed by both parties at each marriage, voting that there will be no separation and that man and wife will work cooperatively in Krishna Consciousness.
If you want to get married at your own risk, that is all right, you can get married by the state service and the husband must take full responsibility for living outside the temple and earning money for supporting wife and children. If you have a child and you are not married, still, having child is the same as being married, so there is no more marriage. Marriage is not for sense gratification, not that we get married twice, thrice in a year. No, if you have got a child there is no need for more marriages. But if you cannot stay in Krishna Consciousness unless you have got a husband, that is all right, but the responsibility is not ours for your maintenance or other things, so if want to get married both you and your husband must make your own arrangements.
I am very much encouraged that you want to join this Krsna Consciousness movement for perfection of your life. Householder life is also the perfect platform for rendering devotional service to Krsna. Any station of life, whether you are unmarried, married, or in any occupation of life, you can achieve the highest goal by adopting and practicing the principles of devotional service. You are married and your husband is striving to become a devotee of Krsna, so you become his devotee, that is the position of husband and wife, that the husband will become a great devotee of Krsna by his wife's assistance, and the wife will take benefit and advance in spiritual life by serving her husband. You are anxious about the rules and regulations, but without rules and regulations there is more frustration. So it may be a little difficult at first, but if you are sincere to achieve the highest result of your lifetime, then you can be assured that by your efforts in Krsna Consciousness that you will very quickly become happy more and more.
Your question is how much or how little brahmacaris should associate with the unmarried brahmacarinis in the temple. As brahmacari you should not mix at all with brahmacarinis. Actually they should not at all see the face, but that is not possible in your country. But so far as possible, remain separate and talk almost nil. Brahmacari is advised not to go near a young woman anywhere. A brahmacari should always address every woman as mother. In your country it is a little difficult, but the principle is to avoid. To talk secretly or privately is strictly prohibited. If you want to discuss philosophy and other matters you can discuss publicly in a meeting, but not privately. A brahmacari and unmarried woman in the same room together alone is strictly forbidden.
Once it is adopted, the grhastha life, even it may be troublesome at times, it must be fulfilled as my occupational duty. Of course, it is better to remain unmarried, celibate. But so many women are coming, we cannot reject them. If someone comes to Krsna it is our duty to give them protection. Krsna has informed us in Bhagavad-gita that even women and sudras and others inferior class of men can take refuge in Him. So the problem is there, the women must have a husband to give protection. Of course, if the women can remain unmarried, and if there is suitable arrangement for the temple to protect them, just like in the Christian Church there is nunnery for systematic program of engaging the ladies and protecting them, that is also nice. But if there is sex desire, how to control it? Women are normally very lusty, more lusty than men, and they are weaker sex, it is difficult for them to make spiritual advancement without the help of husband. For so many reasons, our women must have husband. That's all right, but if once they have got a husband he goes away so quickly, that will not be very much happy for them.
Even supposing there is wife at home, with children, that does not matter, that is no hindrance to our spiritual life. And once we have accepted these things, occupational duties, we should not lightly give them up. That is the point. Of course, our occupational duty is as preachers of Krsna consciousness. So we must stick to that business under all circumstances, that is the main thing. Therefore married, unmarried, divorced, whatever condition of life, my preaching mission does not depend on these things. The varnasrama-dharma system is scientifically arranged by Krsna to provide facility for delivering the fallen souls back to home, back to Godhead. And if we make a mockery of this system by whimsically disrupting the order, that we must consider. That will not be a very good example if so many young boys and girls so casually become married and then go away from each other, and the wife is little unhappy, the husband is neglecting her in so many ways, like that. If we set this example, then how the thing will go on properly?
Actually the system of polygamy is natural because the human entity is meant for transcending the animal forms of life and going back to home, back to Godhead. Therefore there should remain a class of men who do not marry in the society. But that will create an unfavorable situation of excessive population of unmarried women. Therefore it is advised that all women get themselves married, and if there is any man who is better able to maintain wife and family, he is advised to marry as many women as he can maintain and thereby free other men in the society to remain brahmacari. So I can understand that many men of our society have got themselves married only for some disastrous result. That means that not all of our men are meant for married life, but because there are so many women we may not leave them unprotected without husband, that will also not serve us well.
You are exactly correct when you write that Krishna has benedicted you with a first class husband. In Vedic society no girl was allowed to remain independent and unmarried. Independence for women means they become like prostitutes, struggling to capture some man who will take care of her. In this way the so called independent woman has to work very hard to make herself attractive by artificially wearing cosmetics—mini skirts and so many other things. Formerly the girl would be married to a suitable boy at a very early age, say six years old. But although a girl was married early she did not stay with her husband immediately, but was gradually trained in so many ways how to cook, clean and serve her husband in so many ways—up until the time of her puberty.
Regarding free will and pre-destination, yes, materially everything is decided. Spiritually you can make advancement despite all material destiny. Materially you cannot change things as they are but spiritually it is possible. No, devotees are not allowed more than one wife. Devotees should have no wife if possible, but those who cannot maintain celibacy, they can marry one wife. At the present moment people are so unfortunate they cannot maintain even one wife. First of all at the present moment they are not married and remain mostly unmarried. So for such persons even one wife is a great burden. Under the circumstances how one can think of more than one wife? This is stupidity.
The idea of a woman's asrama is good. Those not married, if there is not provision for separate living quarters for them in the temples, they can go there. It is very risky having single women living in the temples, especially where there is no suitable living quarters.
It appears that you are an unmarried brahmacari. So, if you continue this status of life for the matter of executing devotional service, that will be a great advantage. Many great personalities remain brahmacari throughout their whole lives and get freedom from material bondage very easily. Of course marriage is not prohibited in devotional service, but if one can remain brahmacari, in unmarried life, it is a great facility.
| Page Title: | Unmarried (Conversations and Letters) |
| Compiler: | Rishab, Serene |
| Created: | 24 of May, 2011 |
| Totals by Section: | BG=0, SB=0, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=0, Con=33, Let=22 |
| No. of Quotes: | 55 |