In my philosophy there is no abstinence from sex life but K.C. should teach us that sex life is the cause of us becoming conditioned to the material nature. Therefore advanced Krishna Consciousness student should know it well that sex life also should be dovetailed with Krishna consciousness. Better to avoid it; if not possible, to have in a regulated married life. But in all circumstances, our primary necessity is to advance in K.C.
Married life (Letters)
Correspondence
1967 Correspondence
Letter to Gargamuni -- Calcutta 13 November, 1967:
If one is serious to make any success in the matter of Krishna Consciousness, one should avoid the association of woman as far as possible. Married life is a sort of license to the incapable man who cannot avoid sex life. On this statement, you can understand your real position. I do not agree with your wife's statement that New York is unfit for human habitation.
1968 Correspondence
Letter to Brahmananda -- Los Angeles 21 January, 1968:
Feeling of sex life in young boys and girls is quite natural, but one has to check such sex life by reason, argument, and knowledge. The married boys and girls are there—in our society sex life is not forbidden. If Jagatananda is feeling sex urge so urgently even at the age of 16 or 17, he must be prepared to take the responsibility of married life. When I was in India, Gargamuni wrote me plainly like that, and I at once allowed him to get married. Now I see that the boy and girl, Gargamuni and Karunamayi, are living happily. So if Jagatananda is after that nice girl Lilasukha, he must arrange for marrying her.
Letter to Andrea Temple -- Los Angeles 6 March, 1968:
Yes, I can perform spiritual weddings for my initiated disciples. I have gotten so many young devotees married, and they are executing Krishna Consciousness nicely. That is the real purpose of married life; to live together peacefully, execute Krishna Consciousness, bring up children in Krishna Consciousness, so they will not again have to enter into this world of birth and death.
Letter to Satsvarupa -- San Francisco 20 September, 1968:
A sannyasi is not supposed to be asked about anything sexual. But still, because you are so much dependent on my instruction, so I must give you information as far as possible. Married life is not for sex indulgence. The principle of marriage is on the background of getting good children. So the householder is allowed to have sex life once in a month, just after the menstrual period. The menstrual period prolongs at least for 5 days, so after this 5 days, one can have sex life provided he desires to get a child.
Letter to Satsvarupa -- San Francisco 20 September, 1968:
It is not necessary that because one has got wife, therefore you must have sex life. The whole scheme is to avoid sex life as far as possible. And if one can avoid it completely then it is a great victory for him. Married life is a sort of license for sex life on condition of raising children. So you should try to understand these principles of married life and use your discretion. You should not imitate great personalities like Bhaktivinode Thakura, but you must follow His footprints.
Letter to Upendra -- Los Angeles 9 December, 1968:
It is my open advice for everyone that one who is disturbed by sex, must take the responsibility of married life
Letter to Nandakisora -- Los Angeles 11 December, 1968:
From your letter I can understand that you are anxious to become householder and this is very good. We require so many householders to set example to others how in Krishna Consciousness we can live peacefully and sanely, even in married life. Also, we require so many Krishna Conscious children to show how nicely and beautify a child can develop when he is following the principles of God Consciousness.
1969 Correspondence
Letter to Colin Jury -- Columbus, Ohio 12 May, 1969:
Several days ago I got three pairs of boys and girls married, and this married life is different from the material married life. The example is already there in London how six disciples there are all working so nicely in pushing the Krishna Consciousness movement. Actually, we are trying to give real life to the human society by purifying the activities in Krishna Consciousness. The method is very simple: By chanting Hare Krishna one becomes purified immediately and by constant practice, there is no chance of being contaminated again. Please continue to follow there principles, and your life will surely be sublime.
Letter to Laksmimoni -- Los Angeles 10 July, 1969:
I am very pleased to note that you will be getting married to Jagadisa, and try to serve him by helping him develop in Krishna Consciousness throughout both of your lives. Married life in Krishna Consciousness is the perfection of married life because the basic principle is that the wife will help the husband so that he may pursue Krishna Consciousness, and similarly the husband will help the wife to advance in Krishna Consciousness. So in this way both husband and wife become happy and their lives are sublime. In Krishna Consciousness marriages there is no question of any separation or divorce. Any disagreement between husband and wife is not taken very seriously, as much as a disagreement between children is not taken very seriously. This is because the basic principle of married life in Krishna Consciousness is not whimsical lusts, but it is the eternal principle of rendering devotional service to Krishna.
Letter to James Doody -- Los Angeles 10 July, 1969:
In Krishna Consciousness there are many illustrious householders. So to marry and to become an exemplary householder is the ideal life of Krishna Consciousness. If the girl who is willing to marry you becomes Krishna Conscious, and as I think you are already Krishna Conscious, it will be a nice combination, provided you live under bona fide guidance. I am very much pleased that you wish to live under my guidance, and if you actually follow, then I can nicely direct you, even in your married life.
Letter to Aniruddha -- Tittenhurst 21 October, 1969:
My married couple disciples are doing very nice service to Krishna Consciousness in Hawaii, Japan, London, Los Angeles, Boston, New York, etc. So you also get yourself married, and if you like you open a new branch, and husband and wife together advance the cause of Krishna Consciousness. Anyway, I recommend your married life very strongly. That will give you extra strength to serve Krishna. So do it as soon as possible. I think Brahmananda will help you in this matter and that will solve all your problems.
1970 Correspondence
Letter to Trivikrama -- Los Angeles 7 March, 1970:
But at the mature age say after 50 years old age, everyone should separate from wife. Married life does not mean that one should continue to live with wife throughout the whole life; at a certain stage, say between 20-25 years, one may accept a wife, live with her to the maximum age of 50 years, and then there should be no more sex relationship—stringently. And at the mature old age, say 65-70 years, everyone must accept the renounced order of Sannyas; if not in dress, then in action positively.
1971 Correspondence
Letter to Sudama -- Surat 1 January, 1971:
I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated December 22nd, 1970, and I am sorry to learn that although you are so sober you have been disturbed by your married life. Married life does not mean that there will be no disagreement between husband and wife—that is a custom from time immemorial. According to Vedic system, disagreement or quarrel between husband and wife should never be taken very seriously. The Vedic system therefore gives a concession for the wife to separate from her husband for some time and go to her father's house. So Cintamani may come to me for some time, but you cannot deviate from your responsibility in Japan.
Letter to Svarupa -- Bombay 15 June, 1971:
I thank you very much for your letter dated 8th June, 1971 and very generous contribution of $50 on the event of your marriage to Susan O'Neil. So now you are married in Krishna Consciousness; that is very nice. But sometimes married life is risky business because being attracted by the wife, one forgets Krishna. But if both the husband and wife remember Krishna, then their householder life becomes Vaikuntha.
Letter to Satsvarupa -- London 4 August, 1971:
So far the marriage of Shakuntala and Ajamita is concerned, I have no objection but you must brief them thoroughly on married life in Krishna Consciousness, how serious business it is, and that separation is not allowed under any circumstances. At one marriage ceremony in N.Y. Rupanuga had the boy and girl both sign documents saying that they promised never to separate under any circumstances. So you can correspond with him and do likewise.
1972 Correspondence
1973 Correspondence
Letter to Madhukara -- Bombay 4 January, 1973:
Yes, I know your wife Lilasakti, and I know that she is very serious and advanced disciple. But now you are married to her, there is some obligation according to our Krsna consciousness or Vedic system. These things cannot be taken so lightly, otherwise the whole thing will become a farce. Simply get married without considering what is the serious nature of married life, then if there is little disturbance, or if I do not like my wife or my husband, let me go away, everyone else is doing like that. So in this way the whole thing is becoming a farce. You say that your "association together was hindering your advancement." But Krsna consciousness marriage system should not be taken in that way, that if there is any botheration that means something is hindering my spiritual progress, no. Once it is adopted, the grhastha life, even it may be troublesome at times, it must be fulfilled as my occupational duty.
Letter to Madhukara -- Bombay 4 January, 1973:
Just like Krsna, He is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, He has no work, neither He has anything to do, still He comes here to teach us this lesson. He accepts not only His occupational duty as cowherd boy, royal prince, but also He accepts married life, He enters politics, He is philosopher, He is even chariot driver during a great battle, He does not give example of Himself avoiding His occupational duty. So if Krsna Himself is exhibiting by His own conduct what is the perfection of existence, then we should heed such example if we are intelligent. Even supposing there is wife at home, with children, that does not matter, that is no hindrance to our spiritual life.
Letter to Madhukara -- Bombay 4 January, 1973:
So how can I sanction such thing? I want to avoid setting any bad example for future generations, therefore I am so much cautiously considering your request. But if it becomes so easy for me to get married and then leave my wife, under excuse of married life being an impediment to my own spiritual progress, that will not be very good at all. That is misunderstanding of what is advancement in spiritual life. Occupational duty must be there, either this one or that one, but once I am engaged in something occupational duty, then I should not change that or give it up, that is the worst mistake.
Letter to Karandhara -- Bombay 9 January, 1973:
So I can understand that many men of our society have got themselves married only for some disastrous result. That means that not all of our men are meant for married life, but because there are so many women we may not leave them unprotected without husband, that will also not serve us well. Therefore it will be the best idea if those who are well-qualified as husbands to keep more than one wife very much satisfied in every respect, if such men can marry more than once. That will free the others to remain brahmacari. But you must consider very carefully the possibility of becoming scandalized in the public for breaking their laws in this way.
| Page Title: | Married life (Letters) |
| Compiler: | Visnu Murti, Serene |
| Created: | 08 of Dec, 2010 |
| Totals by Section: | BG=0, SB=0, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=0, Con=0, Let=21 |
| No. of Quotes: | 21 |