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Kanya-daya means

Lectures

Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures

Kanyā-dāya means it is very obligatory that the father must get the daughter married. This is dharma.
Lecture on BG 1.40 -- London, July 28, 1973:

There are many stories of chaste woman. Many stories. There was one disciple of Rāmānujācārya, a very poor. So Rāmānujācārya came in that poor disciple's house and he saw there was no one in the house. So he thought: "What is this? This is my disciple's house. He's family man. Why there is none?" That means he could understand that the door is not locked. Door was closed only. Then he could understand that within the door his wife is there. Therefore he knocked the door, and there was response also, knocking, but she could not come out. That means she, she was so poor that she had no garment. She was keeping herself within the room, naked. So Rāmānujācārya could understand that "There is his wife. Maybe she has no sufficient clothing." So immediately, his own cloth he gave her, within the room, and the woman came out, putting on that... And then offered obeisances. So he could understand the position. They were very, very poor. Even no clothing. So after putting on the cloth, she went to the grocer's shop. Because Rāmānujācārya is there. She must receive. Grocer shop. The grocer knew that this woman is very woman, uh, very poor, so his business was to entice her. But she never agreed, although she was young. Now this woman went to the grocer's shop that: "You know that I am very poor. I require immediately some grains, ghee, and other things. My Guru Mahārāja has come at home. I must receive. So tonight I agree with your proposal. Please give me. Even at the sacrifice of my chastity I want this." So the grocer was very glad. "Oh, this woman, I have canvassed her, I have tried to induce her. She never agreed. And now she's agreeing." So: "All right, you take, whatever you like. Take." So she was given all kinds of food grains, as much as she wanted. And she cooked and gave to the spiritual master and his associates, his servants. Everything was very nice. In the meantime, the husband came, working whole day. And he saw that everything was nicely done. "Guru Mahārāja is fed, and his associates, they're fed." So he asked his wife: "How did you get all these things?" Then she narrated the whole story. Then husband also said: "Yes, you have promised. All right. Take some prasādam and go to him. Because you have promised to meet him this evening. So go." Then the grocer heard the whole story and his mind became changed. "Oh, such a chaste woman. Such a faithful... You are my mother. You take more ingredients, grains, as much as you like, you shall..."

So there are still. That is not very long ago. So this was the training. And the psychology is that woman, the first man she meets and if she is kept carefully, she becomes staunch lover. This is psychology. There is good psychology in maintaining the society. Therefore a woman, especially in India, especially in Bengal, before attaining puberty, she was married. Not to meet the husband unless she attains puberty. But she remained at father's house, but she must know that: "I am married. I have got husband." This psychology. Then she becomes very chaste. Because she thinks of her husband, and becomes more and more devoted. So this arrangement that woman must be married before puberty... Or even after puberty, she must get a husband. So if this dharma... It is called kanyā-dāya, kanyā-dāya. Kanyā-dāya means it is very obligatory that the father must get the daughter married. This is dharma. So if this dharma, or this religious principle is violated, that is... Arjuna is marking: adharma-abhi, abhi-bhava. When people become neglectful of the family tradition and religious principles, adharma abhibhavāt kṛṣṇa praduṣyanti kula-striyaḥ (BG 1.40). Kula-striyaḥ. Kula-striyaḥ means... Kula means family, and striyaḥ means woman. So woman must be belonging to a respectable family. Therefore it is said: kula-striyaḥ. Not society-girls. Kula-striyaḥ. Of the family.

Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures

Kanyā-dāya means it is the obligation. You cannot avoid it. You can avoid the marriage of your son, but you cannot avoid the marriage of your daughter. That is Vedic injunction.
Lecture on SB 2.3.15 -- Los Angeles, June 1, 1972:

It is just like touchstone or infection. You know or do not know, it will act. Because kṛṣṇa-bhakti, love for Kṛṣṇa, is there in everyone's heart. If it is not so, how you all young boys and girls are taking very seriously? It is a question of two, three years, or less than that, our students are joining, but they are becoming first-class kṛṣṇa-bhaktas, devotees. Even in India, they also are surprised that how these Europeans and Americans are coming to such nice Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Not only Europeans, Americans, but Africans also. This is the proof that love for Kṛṣṇa is there in everyone's heart. That is stated by Caitanya-caritāmṛta kaṛacā, Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja. Kṛṣṇa-bhakti nitya-siddha. Eternally, it is a fact. Simply it has to be awakened. Just like attraction for the opposite sex. A girl or a boy. That is natural. It is not unnatural. It has... Nobody goes to a school and colleges how to love, how to be attracted by young man. No. It doesn't require any education.

The natural instinct is already there. When the boy and the girl are grown up, naturally the attraction is there, spontaneous. Similarly, he has to be, they have to be brought up in the proper situation. In India, therefore, early marriage is recommended, according to śāstra. According to Vedic civilization, a girl, before attaining puberty, must be married. There are so many injunctions about that. And the responsibility is of the father, or, in the absence of father, the elderly members or brothers. It is called kanyā-dāya. Kanyā-dāya means it is the obligation. You cannot avoid it. You can avoid the marriage of your son, but you cannot avoid the marriage of your daughter. That is Vedic injunction. Of course, when the marriage of daughter is there, there must be one boy. That is understood. But special care is taken for daughter's marriage, some way or other. If he has no money, he begs from friends and gets his daughter married. This is system. Because there is time.

It will be hankering. There will be hankering for sex. So if there is ready husband, then the girl is sent. That is the psychology. So our point is that as this hankering after sex or the opposite sex is natural, it doesn't require to be educated, similarly, kṛṣṇa-bhakti is also natural. It is not that because we have established this temple and people are here... Of course, there is practice, but that practice is also very simple. Simply you have to hear. That's all. It doesn't require any gymnastic. Just like in other yogic process, haṭha-yoga, you have to learn so many things: yama, niyama, dhyāna, dhāraṇā, āsana, prāṇāyāma, so many things. But here there is no need. Simply sit down and hear about Kṛṣṇa. That's all. But that hearing must be from a person who is realized. Then it will act. Kṛṣṇa-bhakti nitya-siddha sādhya kabhu naya, śravaṇādi-śuddha-citte. By hearing, the more your heart will be cleansed of all material infection, you will understand what is Kṛṣṇa.

Conversations and Morning Walks

1976 Conversations and Morning Walks

Dāya means legally inheritance. That is called dāya. Just like your father's money you get automatically. So similarly, kanyā-dāya means to get the girl married is a dāya. You cannot refuse it. It is incumbent, you must do it.
Morning Walk -- February 9, 1976, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: All my sisters were married within twelve years. My second sister, she became twelve years, and I heard my mother become so disturbed: "Oh, this girl is not being married. I shall commit suicide." (laughter)

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: At twelve!

Prabhupāda: Twelve years. And she was given to a boy, my brother-in-law, for the second marriage. Means that my brother-in-law lost his first wife, and still, he was twenty-one years old. My sister was twelve years old and brother-in-law was twenty-one. In the śāstra... I do not know exactly what is that śāstra, but they say that if the girl before marriage has menstruation, then the father has to eat that menstrual liquid. Means it is, mean, very strict. And if the father is not living, then the elder brother has to eat. (break) ...ty of getting the girl married rests on the father. In the absence of the father, the eldest brother. The girl must be married. That is it. It is called dāya, kanyā-dāya.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Dāya.

Prabhupāda: Dāya. Dāya means legally inheritance. That is called dāya. Just like your father's money you get automatically. So similarly, kanyā-dāya means to get the girl married is a dāya. You cannot refuse it. It is incumbent, you must do it.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: So many of our, the girls in our society, they have reached that age, but they are not getting married.

Prabhupāda: No, your society is different. Now it is here also.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I mean in ISKCON, in our society.

Prabhupāda: ISKCON is not going to be social reformer, but as far as possible, we can help. Our main business is how to make everyone Kṛṣṇa conscious. That is our business. We cannot take up, but if possible, we can take up all the system of varṇāśrama.

Page Title:Kanya-daya means
Compiler:Rishab
Created:24 of Mar, 2012
Totals by Section:BG=0, SB=0, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=2, Con=1, Let=0
No. of Quotes:3