Husband and wife (Lectures)

Expressions researched:
"husband and wife" |"husband and wife's" |"wife and husband"

Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures

Lecture on BG 1.28-29 -- London, July 22, 1973:

Knot in the heart. "She is my wife." "He is my husband." Of course, now that knot is very slack. Formerly it was very strong because the woman was not allowed to mix with any other man, and the man was also not allowed with any other woman. This intermingling has slackened even that knot, hṛdaya-granthim. Therefore, even trifle cases, quarrel between husband and wife, there is divorce. Because that unity is not very strong now. That is good. Some way or other, it is slackened. So this "own-menship" comes from bodily concept of life.

So Arjuna is preparing the ground, how to receive the instruction of Bhagavad-gītā. Because spiritual instruction will begin to separate the soul from the body. Unless one understands that there is a soul different from this body, there is no spiritual education. This is the basic principle. If you do not understand what is soul, what is spirit soul, then where is spiritual education? So Arjuna was affected. He says frankly, dṛṣṭvā tu svajanaṁ kṛṣṇa yuyutsuṁ samupasthitam: (BG 1.28) "What is this?

Lecture on BG 1.40 -- London, July 28, 1973:

If the woman is trained, a girl is trained from the very beginning that: "You should remain chaste," that is dharma. It is called Satītā dharma. Satī means chastity. There are many stories of Satī, chaste woman. Nala-damayantī. His husband became so poverty-stricken. He was king, but he became later on so poverty-stricken that he had no sufficient cloth. The husband and wife was putting on the same cloth, half and half. So still, still there was no divorce. You see. Still the woman did not consider... She was also king's daughter. But the husband has fallen down to so much poverty-stricken condition. "So why shall I live with him?" These are some of the extreme examples of chastity. Not to speak of olden days, I have seen in Bombay, in 1935 or '34, on the roadside, there was a beggar. The beggar, the face was defaced. Might be some accident. His eyes and everything became defaced. He could not see, everything became useless. So he, he was sitting on the roadside, and his wife also, also sitting. But I saw that beggar was neat and clean.

Lecture on BG 1.40 -- London, July 28, 1973:

Vaiśya also sometimes no saṁskāra. But brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya must have saṁskāra. Daśa-vidhā saṁskārāḥ. Ten kinds of saṁskāra. One of the saṁskāra... Saṁskāra means purificatory method. One of the saṁskāra is also marriage. One must get married. So, before the child is given birth, there is a saṁskāra, what is called? Garbhādhāna saṁskāra. It is not that the husband and wife mix without any restriction and have sex life at any time. No. You know that, that mother of Hiraṇyakaśipu, Kaśyapa Muni, I think, father. So she, the woman became very much sexually excited and the husband replied that: "This is not time. This is very bad time, evening. Why you are insisting?" But she was too much lusty, and because the husband was obliged, Hiraṇyakaśipu was born, a demon was born. Therefore there is Garbhādhāna saṁskāra, to find out when the husband and wife should mix and give birth to a child. Therefore in the Bhagavad-gītā you'll see that sex life which is according to the principle of religious ideas, that is "I am."

Lecture on BG 2.1 -- Ahmedabad, December 7, 1972:

Because generally, the brahmacārī was going home at the age of twenty-four years, twenty-five years. So after marriage, he may get a child. So living there for twenty-five years, means the child is grown up. Then the husband and wife takes leave, not leaving for good, but vānaprastha, traveling in pilgrimages like Vṛndāvana, Prayāga. That was the system. And after two months, again he comes back and remains home for another two months. Again goes out. In this way, the whole process is how to give up attachment from this family life, from this world. And when he's trained up fully, he takes sannyāsa. That is our Vedic system.

So the attachment of this material world is very strong. That is stated in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam by Ṛṣabhadeva: Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etami (SB 5.5.8).

Lecture on BG 2.12 -- New York, March 9, 1966:

He becomes so..., as good as Lord, becomes so powerful. This is called sārṣṭi. And, and the last is sāmīpya. Sāmīpya means he is always in the company of the Lord. Just like Arjuna. Arjuna is always... Whenever Lord takes His incarnation, Arjuna is there. Arjuna is there. Sāmīpya. They are never separated. Just like a husband and wife, never separated. You see. Or the father and the son. Of course, nowadays the question is different, but generally, the family members, they all remain together. Sāmīpya. And the father and the boys and wife and..., they remain together. So there is sāmīpya-mukti. Sāmīpya-mukti means to remain always as associate of the Lord. That is sāmīpya-mukti.

Lecture on BG Lecture Excerpts 2.44-45, 2.58 -- New York, March 25, 1966:

Just like the husband and the wife. Now, the husband is called the enjoyer, puruṣa. Puruṣa. Puruṣa, man. Man is called puruṣa. Puruṣa means enjoyer. And the wife is called strī. Strī means woman. Strī means prakṛti. Prakṛti means which is enjoyed. The subject and the object. But the enjoyment, actually the enjoyment between husband and wife, that is participated by both. There is no division. When the actual enjoyment is there, there is no division, the husband is enjoying more or the wife is enjoying less or like that. There is no such division when the enjoyment is there. This is a crude example, but still, there is division. The husband is called the enjoyer, and the wife is called the enjoyed. Husband is called the predominator, and the wife is called predominated. Of course, in our India, Hindu conception of life, that a woman, woman, according to our Manu-saṁhitā scripture, woman is always protected. A woman is never given independence.

Lecture on BG 3.6-10 -- Los Angeles, December 23, 1968:

Nirbandhaḥ kṛṣṇa-sambandhe.

Therefore we advised our students, either boys and girls, that if you have... Of course, if you are serious in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, you forget all these nonsense sense gratification, but still if you are disturbed, all right, get yourself married. Live peacefully, husband and wife, and both be engaged in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Gradually, you'll forget, both husband and wife. Don't try artificially. Artificially you'll never be successful. But if you can avoid it by advance and strong Kṛṣṇa consciousness...

Just like Haridāsa Ṭhākura. But don't try to imitate Haridāsa Ṭhākura. His stage was different. We cannot imitate. We can simply follow. Anukaraṇa, anusaraṇa, there are two Sanskrit words. One is imitation, and one who is following the footprints. If one tries to follow the footprints of great personalities, that is very nice, but we cannot imitate. Imitate. Imitation is dangerous.

Lecture on BG 3.21-25 -- New York, May 30, 1966:

According to Vedic rites, the breeding of child is very nicely enunciated. That is called garbhādhāna-saṁskāra. Garbhādhāna-saṁskāra. Before begetting a child, one has to perform some ceremonies just to make his mind completely pure and sanctified. Both the husband and wife become sanctified, and then they take part in sex life, and that child becomes, comes out a very nice child. So from the very beginning of the birth there are systems how to beget good population. So these things are there.

Now, Kṛṣṇa says that "If I do not place the ideal life, then the population will be saṅkara." Saṅkara means unwanted, creating disturbances always. There will be no peace in the world. And actually we are feeling that there is no peace in the world. Why? Because the population has become unwanted. And by increasing such population the natural sequence will be... There must be.

Lecture on BG 4.3 -- Bombay, March 23, 1974:

That is called sambandha-jñāna. Sambandha, abhidheya. Then execution of the duty. Just like sambandha. We can understand. An unmarried girl and unmarried boy, there is first of all sambandha: the father, mother makes the relationship. Then there is function between husband and wife. That is called abhidheya. And why? Because there is a necessity. What is that? To get children. Sambandha, abhidheya, prayojana. Prayojana. Every sambandha, every relationship is made, every action is done with an aim, the goal, the prayojana. So Vedic literature means sambandha, abhidheya, and prayojana. That is to be studied in the human form of life. Vedaiś ca sarvair aham eva vedyaḥ (BG 15.15). To study Vedas means to understand what is my relation, what is Kṛṣṇa, what I am, and what is my relationship, and how to act in that relationship, and what is the aim of life.

Lecture on BG 4.19 -- Bombay, April 8, 1974:

Samārambhāḥ means all attempts. Yasya sarve samārambhāḥ kāma-saṅkalpa-varjitāḥ. We want to do something to enjoy the fruit. We do some business with a desire, "The profit I shall enjoy." We live in family life. The desire is that... Everyone is trying to satisfy his senses, especially in this age. Dāmpatye ratir eva hi. In the śāstra it is said, dāmpatye, means husband and wife relationship will exist in this age of Kali only on the point of sex life. If there is disturbance in sex life, there is divorce. So kāma is there. In every samārambhāḥ, in every attempt, the lust, lusty desire is there.

In agreement, businessmen doing some business, the agreement, everyone is thinking, each party is thinking, "How much favorable it has become in my side." That is.... I want to cheat you. You want to cheat me. I am dictating, "The agreement should be like this." That means most favorable for my sense gratification. And you are dictating, "It should be like this."

Lecture on BG 4.19 -- Bombay, April 8, 1974:

Marshall's economics we read in our economic class. He said that "Family affection is the impetus for economic development." He said that. That is fact. Therefore, according to Vedic system, a boy is married with a girl, and the husband and wife, as soon as... This is psychological. As soon as they become husband and wife... Because the boy is searching after woman, and the girl is also searching after man. So they must be given. This is psychology. There is no question of so-called love. The, the former system of marriage, the father and mother selects one boy and one girl, and by force they are married. But the economic position becomes very nice. Family affection.

That is also stated in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ (SB 5.5.8). These are very psychological. A married man becomes responsible. Because there is affection, family affection.

Lecture on BG 4.19-22 -- New York, August 8, 1966:

These are very intelligent questions. There is Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

A devotee of Lord Kṛṣṇa, he does not eat anything which is not offered to Kṛṣṇa. Just like you take the remnants of your master. Just like servant takes the remnants of master. The master eats. In India the process is that husband and wife, that after the husband eats, the remnants are taken by the wife. The wife does not eat along with the husband. That is the old system. Now it is being changed. The husband and wife, they do not... The husband is supplied by the wife all kinds of good dishes, and when the husband is satisfied, some foodstuff is left, and that is taken by the wife. So similarly, a devotee of Kṛṣṇa, he does not take anything, does not accept anything, which is not offered to Kṛṣṇa. This is the process. Because his life is full of Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

Lecture on BG 4.26 -- Bombay, April 15, 1974:

Kṛṣṇa says in the Bhagavad-gītā, bhūmir āpo 'nalo vāyuḥ khaṁ mano buddhir eva ca, bhinnā prakṛtir aṣṭadhā: (BG 7.4) "These eight elements, they are also My prakṛti, but bhinnā, separated, separated prakṛti." Prakṛti means subordinate to the puruṣa. As soon as the prakṛti... Generally, we understand that the husband and wife.... Wife is called prakṛti, and the husband is called puruṣa. So puruṣa means enjoyer, and prakṛti means enjoyed. So similarly, when Kṛṣṇa says, bhinnā me prakṛtir aṣṭadhā, that all these elements, gross and subtle, earth, water, air, fire, and these are gross elements, and the mind, intelligence and ego, subtle elements.... Then Kṛṣṇa says, apareyam: "These elements are inferior prakṛti." Apareyam itas tu viddhi me prakṛtiṁ parām. There is another prakṛti. What is that? Jīva-bhūtāṁ mahā-bāho yayedaṁ dhāryate jagat (BG 7.5). Jīva-bhūta, the living entity. The living entity is also prakṛti. We are not puruṣa. But we forget this.

Lecture on BG 4.39-5.3 -- New York, August 24, 1966:

And after one has full training, then he comes home and he gets himself married. That is called gṛhastha, householder life.

Then, after the age of fifty years, he leaves. He gives up the family, not exactly gives up family connection, just tries to remain aloof from the family. So the husband and wife, they, entrusting the whole thing to the grown-up boys, they go out of home and travel in so many holy places and, after traveling, say, for six months, again comes home for, remains for one month, and then again goes away. That is the... That stage is called vānaprastha.

Then, when the man is completely detached from family affection, he takes sannyāsa. This is called sannyāsa. We have no connection with family. So sannyāsaṁ karmaṇāṁ kṛṣṇa punar yogaṁ ca śaṁsasi.

Lecture on BG 6.1-4 -- New York, September 2, 1966:

"Our relationship with the Lord is in this way." That is called svarūpa-siddhi. That is real self-realization. That is real self-realization. Everyone has an eternal relationship with the Lord, either in the conception of master and servant, or in the conception of friend and friend, or in the conception of parents and the child, or in the conception of husband and wife, or in the conception of paramour and lover, and the beloved. So these relationships are there eternally.

Now, the whole process of spiritual realization is to come to this stage, transcendental stage. This relationship with the Supreme Lord is pervertedly reflected in this material world. And therefore we have got this relationship here, master and servant. But because it is perverted, therefore that relationship is not master and servant. That relationship is with the money and the benefit. There is no love. There is no love. Here in this material world, the master and the servant, that relationship continues so long the master is able to pay the servant.

Lecture on BG 6.1-4 -- New York, September 2, 1966:

The friend becomes enemy. Therefore it is perverted reflection. Similarly, the relationship between... (aside:) Come on here. Relationship between mother and son. A slight difference of opinion breaks the relationship, and the son becomes out of the relationship of mother, mother becomes out of... Every way. Husband and wife, a slight difference of opinion, there is divorce, separation.

So no relationship here in this material world is actual. Always remember that all relationship in this material world is perverted reflection of that relationship which we have got eternally with the Supreme Personality of Godhead. It is simply reflected. Just like the sunshine. The sunshine is reflected in the glass, and that reflection comes to your, in my apartment. At six o'clock the sunshine comes from the western side... eastern side. So in the evening the sunshine cannot come from the eastern side. The sunshine comes from the western side, but it is coming because it is reflected through a glass in the opposite house. This is the idea of reflected.

Lecture on BG 6.1-4 -- New York, September 2, 1966:

This is the idea of reflected. That reflection of the sunshine is not real, but it appears just like sunshine. Similarly, all our relationship here, either as master and servant or as friend and friend or as parents and child or as husband and wife or as lover and the beloved, any relationship, whatever we see here, that is the perverted reflection of our eternal relationship with God.

So when we come to that platform of understanding, then we are perfectly in knowledge. So when that knowledge comes here, it is stated, he takes the service of the Lord, Kṛṣṇa consciousness: kāryam. Kāryam means "It is my duty." Because I have got my eternal love relationship with Kṛṣṇa. There is no question of remuneration. Of course, remuneration is there thousand times more than what remuneration we get here by rendering our service. Kṛṣṇa thousand times... Not thousand times because there is no limit.

Lecture on BG 6.16-24 -- Los Angeles, February 17, 1969:

Because Kṛṣṇa is saying this it must happen. There is nice example. That a girl is married to a husband. She's hankering after a child. So if she thinks that "Now I am married, I must have immediately a child." Is it possible? Just have patience. You just become faithful wife, serve your husband, and let your love grown up and because you are husband and wife, it is sure you'll have children. But don't be impatient. Similarly, when you are in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, your perfection is guaranteed. But but you'll have patience, determination. That "I must execute. I should not be impatient." That impatience is due to loss of determination. And how that loss determination is there? Due to excessive sex life. These are all consequences. Go on.

Lecture on BG 6.32-40 -- New York, September 14, 1966:

"And a ceremony observed by some sages in the jungle..." What they have got? They have got some leaves and flowers. That's all. What arrangement will be made? And prabhāte megha-ḍambare: "And in the morning, thundering sound of the cloud..." And similarly, dam-pate kalahe, I mean to say, "war between husband and wife..." So these things are to be taken as insignificant. So, of course, in India the quarrel between husband and wife, nobody cares. Nobody takes very seriously. The husband may complain, the wife may complain. Everyone says, "Yes, yes. That's all right. It will be all right." They never go to court for divorce. You see? But it is... There is no seriousness. And actually it is fact. I have seen a serious. They are divorced, but still, the husband is anxious for the wife, and the wife is anxious for the husband. The divorce is artificial. The husband and wife, the combination, that cannot be cut off. So one should tolerate these things. If there is some misunderstanding, they should not go to the court for divorce.

Lecture on BG 6.41 -- Detroit, July 17, 1971:

Not only your human form of life is guaranteed, but also in a better house, in a better family.

So these children who are born in our Kṛṣṇa consciousness Society, they are those children, those who could not finish Kṛṣṇa consciousness last life. They have been given to take birth in the family of devotee husband and wife; therefore he's playing karatāla. Otherwise it is not possible. He had practice in his last life; therefore he's quickly... He had got the chance. Again he's remembering and playing. This is the fact. So we have to study from the śāstric vision. Śāstra-cakṣuṣāt. How you'll see? You'll see through the authority, scriptures. So these are the statements of authoritative scriptures. Śucīnāṁ śrīmatāṁ gehe. So this child is born of a devotee father and devotee mother. Now he'll again begin from the point where he lost last life. Suppose Kṛṣṇa consciousness he executed fifty percent. So he'll begin from this life fifty-one percent. That fifty percent was in his stock. But ordinary karmīs—cent percent lost.

Lecture on BG 6.46-47 -- Los Angeles, February 21, 1969:

A householder does not mean he gets license to legalize prostitution. That is not householder. Householder can simply have sex life to beget nice child, that's all, no more. That is householder life; completely controlled. Householder does not mean whenever he has got this machine and he can use it. No. Householder, husband and wife, both Kṛṣṇa conscious, engaged in Kṛṣṇa conscious business, but when they require a child, Kṛṣṇa conscious, that's all. That is also voluntary contraceptive method. One or two or three children, that's all, no more. So householder life does not mean sex life without any restriction. But for spiritual life one who wants to advance in spiritual life, either you accept this bhakti-yoga system or this aṣṭāṅga-yoga system or jñāna-yoga system, sex indulgence unrestricted is never there. Sex indulgence means you have to come back again. If you try to enjoy the senses, that is materialistic way of life.

Lecture on BG 7.1-3 -- Ahmedabad, December 14, 1972:

Just like... Not nowadays. Formerly, young, very young girls were married. Even an... My eldest sister was married at the age of nine years. So I heard that my mother-in-law was married at the age of seven years. I was gṛhastha, and I was also married... My wife was eleven years. So in that minor ages, there is no actually love between husband and wife. But still, formerly, the system was that the young girl, minor girl, was giving some eatable foodstuff to the husband, and sometimes pān, like that. But unless they were major, they were not allowed to live together. But these things are going on. So similarly, gradually, we develop our love for Kṛṣṇa. As the same example, in the young age the minor girl and the young boy, they do not come to the love platform, but in mature time, they become so lovable each other that they cannot be separated. Similarly, we have to practice. This arcana-mārga means practice. Immediately you cannot expect that your mind is completely fixed up with Kṛṣṇa.

Lecture on BG 9.11 -- Calcutta, June 30, 1973:

"That heinous hunter has become a Vaiṣṇava." So people, generally, they are inquisitive. They came to see. It is the custom when you go to see a saintly person, you take some fruits or flowers or some rice or some āṭā. So huge stack of rice and āṭā and fruits and flowers also. They were surprised: "Why Nārada Muni is sending so much? We are simply husband and wife." In this way they become Vaiṣṇava. And after some time Nārada Muni with his friend Parvata Muni, he wanted to see his devotee. So he asked Parvata Muni that "My dear friend, will you come with me. I shall show my devotee who was formerly a hunter." So Parvata Muni knew that "You can play wonderful. So let me see this devotee." So when Nārada Muni was coming, this devotee was going to receive the spiritual master. This is the custom, to receive the spiritual master from distant place with all honor by bowing down. But he was jumping. He was jumping.

Lecture on BG 9.23-24 -- New York, December 10, 1966:

"Master." Prabhu means master. Na tu mām abhijānanti: "People do not know Me," na tu mām abhijānanti, "that 'Kṛṣṇa is the Supreme Enjoyer, the Absolute Enjoyer.' "

We are all enjoyed. There are two things: enjoyer and the enjoyed. Just like a crude example can be given that the husband and wife. The husband is supposed to be the enjoyer, and the wife is supposed to be the enjoyed. But the enjoyment is the same for both. But if you make division, it is understood that husband is predominator, and the wife is predominated. So here prabhu, prabhu means He's the predominator. And everyone is predominated, everyone. Therefore, those who are predominated, their duty is to satisfy the predominator, and when the predominator is satisfied, both the predominator and the predominated gets the equal result.

Lecture on BG 15.15 -- August 5, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm):

Prabhupāda: That is not very difficult. One has got his wife or husband, but he or she transfers the love towards somebody else, how does he look?

Jayatīrtha: Personal choice.

Prabhupāda: Yes. It is happening every moment. Natural love is between the husband and wife, but the wife goes somewhere and the husband goes somewhere else. The basic principle is enjoyment. He or she thinks that "I shall be able to enjoy more in this way." So this misguided spirit puts him into trouble. Kṛṣṇa-bahirmukha hañā bhoga vāñchā kare. He does not know the aim of life and therefore his energy is transferred to something else misleading.

The difficulty is when a person is missing the aim of life, his energy is diverted in different misleading ways. Just like for our bodily necessities of life we require to eat, we require to sleep, we require some sense pleasure or sex pleasure, and we require some defense. So that is arranged, you eat, you sleep, you have wife or husband, enjoy, and properly defend yourself, but the business is different. Business is different means living peacefully he has to realize God, his relationship with God.

Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures

Lecture on SB 1.2.1 -- New Vrindaban, September 1, 1972:

Similarly, one who wants to love God, he prays to God, "Kindly you become my child." So God is so kind, He becomes child of a devotee. Although God is the original Father, but this is a process of loving God. Just like Kṛṣṇa appeared as the son of Mother Yaśodā, because they underwent severe penance in their previous life, both the husband and wife. They underwent severe penance, and Kṛṣṇa appeared before them, "What do you want?" They said, "My dear Lord, we want a child like You." So God said, "That, where shall I find a child like Me? I shall become your child". (laughter) That's it.

Lecture on SB 1.2.8 -- New Vrindaban, September 6, 1972:

And then next stage is to become like them. Then he approaches the spiritual master, "Kindly initiate me," bhajana-kriyā. And as soon as you take to this bhajana-kriyā, to devotional service, anartha-nivṛttiḥ syāt. Anartha, some unwanted things which you have practiced. What is that? Illicit sex. Or if you want sex, why don't you marry and live respectfully, husband and wife. Why illicit sex? This is unwanted, but we are practiced. But if you become devotee, you can give up this nonsense practice. Illicit sex, meat-eating. Why meat-eating? We have got so many nice preparation Sundays, rasagullā, halavā, purī, luci. Why shall I eat this nasty thing, rotten. It is slaughtered and kept for 3,000 years in the refrigerator (laughter), and this rotten thing is taken and eaten. So why should we take that. Why smoking? This nonsense. It is stated in every cigarette box it is injurious to health or something like, what is that?

Lecture on SB 1.2.15 -- Vrndavana, October 26, 1972:

So if we want to unknot this tight fitting of our heart... Now, again it is said that as soon as the male-female is united, then further tightening begins. What is that? Ataḥ kṣetra. Ataḥ kṣetra, gṛha, āpta, vitta. In this way, first of all, we are united, husband and wife. Then we want a nice apartment or house, gṛha. Then, to maintain the house, we require a field, field of activity. Generally, formerly, they were agricultural. So you must have income. Ataḥ gṛha-kṣetra-suta. Then children, then āpta, friends. Ataḥ gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittaiḥ then again, money. In this way, our attachment increasing. Janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti (SB 5.5.8). In this way, our illusory position, moha, increases, one after another, one after another. This is called karma-granthi-nibandhanam. Karma-granthi-nibandhanam.

Lecture on SB 1.2.18 -- Los Angeles, August 21, 1972:

That is not possible. First of all, you have to serve bhāgavata, the devotee bhāgavata.

There are two kinds of bhāgavata: book bhāgavata and devotee bhāgavata. So in the Śiva Purāṇa, there was a question by Pārvatī to Lord Śiva. Lord Śiva and Pārvatī, husband and wife. Pārvatī means the material nature. Sṛṣṭi-sthiti-pralaya-sādhana-śaktir ekā chāyeva yasya bhuvanāni bibharti durgā (Bs. 5.44). Durgā-devī. Durgā-devī is in charge of this material world. It is called durgā, durgā, just like fort. And the superintendent of this fort is Durgā. You cannot go out of this fort; you are imprisoned. So such Durgā-devī, who is so powerful energy—she can create, annihilate, maintain, sṛṣṭi-sthiti-pralaya-sādhana—she is always sitting by the side of her husband, Lord Śiva, and questioning about spiritual enquiries. Just see. Such powerful deity is also ignorant about spiritual life. So the husband, Lord Śiva, is Vaiṣṇava, and she's always asking, and sitting down underneath a bael tree.

Lecture on SB 1.3.10 -- Los Angeles, September 16, 1972:

That is also mentioned. So when I came to your kind country, I saw these young people are keeping long hairs. So it was immediately corroborated. Similarly, everything is described there. The dām-patye ratim eva hi: husband and wife relationship means sex. This is the age. As soon as the husband will be unable to satisfy his wife by sex, he will find out another husband and file divorce. These are stated already in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. And these are happening. And a man, when he lives for twenty to thirty years, he will be considered grand old man. These are all stated. So why research? You consult Vedic literature, you have got all information, everything. How the world is created, how it will be annihilated, how it is being maintained, who is the Supreme in this management—everything is there. That is called Sāṅkhya philosophy. Everything is there.

Lecture on SB 1.3.13 -- Los Angeles, September 18, 1972:

That is not Vedic system. Vedic system is a man is fully instructed, and woman, girl, must be married to a man. Even the man may have many wives, polygamy, still, every woman should be married. And she would get instruction from the husband. This is Vedic system. Woman is not allowed to go to school, college, or to the spiritual master. But husband and wife, they can be initiated. That is Vedic system.

So dhīrāṇāṁ vartma. Because people must be first of all gentle. Then talk of Kṛṣṇa and God consciousness. If he is animal, what he can understand? This is Vedic system. Dhīrāṇām. Dhīra means must be gentle, perfectly gentle. Must address all woman as "mother." Mātṛvat para-dāreṣu para-dravyeṣu loṣṭravat. This is the training, that one should consider other's wife as mother, and others' money as like garbage in the street. Nobody cares for it. Similarly, one's other's money should not be touched. Even it is somebody has forgotten his purse, moneybag on the street, nobody will touch it.

Lecture on SB 1.3.17 -- Los Angeles, September 22, 1972:

That means the wife may be beautiful or not beautiful to others' eye, but the husband's eyes it must be beautiful. Otherwise there cannot be husband. So the fact is that our householder life is not a platform of being attracted by woman or by wife. No. Wife is not accepted for sex satisfaction, being attracted by her. No. Therefore wife is called dharma-patnī. Dharma-patnī. Dharma-patnī means a religious wife, or husband and wife should execute religious life, spiritual cultivation. That is the purpose of becoming householder. Gṛhastha-āśrama. Not that I become attracted by wife and I become absorbed in simply sex relation and forget my real duty, Kṛṣṇa consciousness. That is dangerous. So generally, if one's wife becomes very beautiful, he forgets his real duty, Kṛṣṇa consciousness, and he simply becomes a pet servant of the wife. That is the... Therefore Rūpa Gosvāmī says, anāsaktasya viṣayān yathārham upayuñjataḥ. One should not be attracted for sex life. Yathārham upayuñjataḥ. But does it mean that husband will not have sex. No. Yathārham. As it is required.

Lecture on SB 1.3.17 -- Los Angeles, September 22, 1972:

Yathārham upayuñjataḥ. But does it mean that husband will not have sex. No. Yathārham. As it is required. As it required means sex life with wife should be performed only for begetting a Kṛṣṇa conscious child. Nothing more. No more attraction. That life is better. That life means not only better. That is the ideal life. Wife and husband, combination, both should make progress in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

Woman, they are generally equipped with the qualities of passion and ignorance. And men also may be, but man can be elevated to the platform of goodness. Woman cannot be. Woman cannot be. Therefore if the husband is nice and the woman follows, woman becomes faithful and chaste to the husband, then their both life becomes successful. There are three qualities of nature: sattva, rajas, tamas. So rajas, tamas generally, that is the quality of woman. And man can become to the platform of goodness.

Lecture on SB 1.5.29 -- Vrndavana, August 10, 1974:

So the, the one side, the guru. Saṅkīrtyamānaṁ munibhir mahātmabhiḥ. The... This is a relationship between disciple and guru. What are the qualifications of guru? And what are the qualifications of the disciple? If both of them are qualified, then immediately the result is there. Just like husband and wife. Both of them, if they are healthy, by sex there will be pregnancy. Similarly, if the guru and the disciple, both of them are qualified, then immediately Kṛṣṇa consciousness will be there.

Lecture on SB 1.5.35 -- Vrndavana, August 16, 1974:

So although Sanātana Gosvāmī was interested kṛṣṇotkīrtana-gāna-nartana-parau, he was not disinterested with others who were not devotees. They were also interested. Not interested, but sympathetic. They were not interested with the materialists, but the ordinary householders, they would fight, husband and wife, and come to Sanātana Gosvāmī for settlement. And whatever Sanātana Gosvāmī would give judgment, they will accept. They will accept. He was, they were very popular, (the) Gosvāmīs. And they were staying sometimes here, sometimes there, sometimes Rādhā-kuṇḍa, sometimes... They were not staying in one place.

So our, this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement, it's only aim is how to satisfy Kṛṣṇa. Method, that is intelligence: What method we should accept so that our, this process of, or the propaganda of Kṛṣṇa consciousness may go on very nicely. The process should be only to satisfy Kṛṣṇa, hari-toṣaṇam.

Lecture on SB 1.7.11 -- Vrndavana, September 10, 1976:

This body is superfluous. The bodily structure, it can be changed. Perhaps you know, now in medical science they can change the woman's body into man's body, and the man's body into woman's body. It was formerly being also changed. In Bhāgavata you'll find that in a garden—I forget the name—in a garden where Lord Śiva was engaged with Umā, husband and wife, all of a sudden many saintly persons entered to see Lord Śiva. At that time Umā, Pārvatī, became very much ashamed. She was not very properly dressed. So immediately the saintly persons, they left, that "Lord Śiva is now in his private affairs." So Lord Śiva, to please Pārvatī, he immediately said, "Hence forward, anyone who will enter this forest, he'll become woman." So one king, I forget the name, with his party, without the knowledge he entered the forest, and all of them became women.

So the idea is that the man's body can be transformed into woman's body, and a woman's body can be transformed into man's body.

Lecture on SB 1.7.24 -- Vrndavana, September 21, 1976:

Matir na kṛṣṇe parataḥ svato vā mitho 'bhipadyeta gṛha-vratānām. Gṛha-vratānāṁ matir na kṛṣṇe. Those who have taken it a vow, that "I shall remain in this family life and improve my condition," gṛha-vratānām... Gṛha-vrata. Gṛhastha and gṛha-vrata are different. Gṛhastha means gṛhastha-āśrama. A man is living with husband and wife or children, but the aim is how to improve spiritual life. That is gṛhastha-āśrama. And one who has no such aim, he simply wants to enjoy the senses, and for that purpose he's decorating the house, decorating the wife, children—that is called gṛha-vrata or gṛhamedhī. In Sanskrit there are different terms for different meaning. So those who are gṛha-vrata, they cannot be Kṛṣṇa conscious. Matir na kṛṣṇe parataḥ svato vā. Parataḥ means by the instruction of guru or instruction of authority, parataḥ. And svato vā. Svataḥ means automatically. And automatically is not possible even by instruction. Because his vow is that "I shall remain in this way." Gṛha-vratānām.

Lecture on SB 1.7.27 -- Vrndavana, September 24, 1976:

When He comes before you, arcā-mūrti, arcā-vigraha... This is arcā-vigraha, Deity. Arcye viṣṇau śilā-dhīḥ. Kṛṣṇa has appeared. Just like the same thing: Kṛṣṇa... Yaśodāmāyi wanted the Supreme Personality of Godhead as his (her) son, for which hundreds of years he (she) undergone, or she undergone austerities. And when the Supreme Personality of Godhead appeared before him, before her, both the husband and wife: "What do you want?" "Now we want a son like You." So Kṛṣṇa said, "There is no second one beyond Me, so I shall become your son." So He became son. So He must play perfectly, that Yaśodāmāyi may not understand that "Here is the Supreme Personality of Godhead." Then the feelings of mother and son will disappear. Kṛṣṇa is playing exactly like a little child. So that is Kṛṣṇa's mercy. This is Kṛṣṇa's mercy. Similarly, to us. We are not so elevated like Nanda Mahārāja or Yaśodā Mahārāja (māyi). We're just beginners. So we do not know what is Kṛṣṇa. We cannot see Kṛṣṇa, either His virāḍ-mūrti or this mūrti. So what we can see?

Lecture on SB 1.7.27 -- Vrndavana, September 24, 1976:

He'll eat meat, and for this eating meat you have to maintain thousands and thousands of, what is called, organized slaughterhouse. And you have to kill. Killing means he's being implicated in sinful activities. Anartha, unnecessary. So we restrict this. Sex life is all right, required. Be a gentleman, get yourself married, live husband and wife peacefully. Have two and three children. Now they're making forcefully that you cannot have more than two children-sterilize. This is rascaldom. Teach him that he'll not have sex life more than twice or thrice in life. But no. Tṛpyanti neha kṛpaṇā bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ (SB 7.9.45). The sex life is so strong that one has produced one child and he has suffered... The child has to be taken at night, it is crying, and then you have to give him milk, and so on, so on, so on. He has suffered, but he has no sense, "Why again child?" The answer, tṛpyanti neha kṛpaṇā bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ. He knows that after this sex life, illegal or legal, there are so much troubles. Therefore a brahmacārī is a very safe life. No trouble.

Lecture on SB 1.8.23 -- Los Angeles, April 15, 1973:

So this is the position of devotees, that Devakī who happens to be the mother of Kṛṣṇa... She's not ordinary woman. Who can become the mother of the Supreme Personality of Godhead? The most advanced devotee, so that Kṛṣṇa has agreed to become her son. In his previous life, the husband and wife, they underwent severe austerities, and when Kṛṣṇa appeared before them and wanted to give them benediction, they wanted a son like God. So where can be another person who is equal to God? That is not possible. God means there is no equal, there is no greater. Asamordhva. That is God. God, there cannot be any competition, that "You are God, I am God, he is God, he is God." No. These are dogs. They are not God. God means without competition: one. God is one. Nobody is great... asamordhva. Nobody is greater than Him. Nobody is equal to Him. Everyone is lower. Ekale īśvara kṛṣṇa āra saba bhṛtya (CC Adi 5.142). The only master is Kṛṣṇa, God; and everyone, servant.

Lecture on SB 1.8.40 -- Mayapura, October 20, 1974:

So the hunter, he was following the instruction of his Guru Mahārāja, Nārada Muni, chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa and sitting very peacefully. So people would come, and they were surprised. So, so many people came-heaps of ātara, heaps of rice, heaps of vegetables. So he became little agitated: "What shall I do with so many, so much quantity? Why he's sending so much? We are simply two, husband and wife. So why he's sending this?"

So actually, for Vaiṣṇava, who is dependent on Kṛṣṇa, there is no want. There cannot be. Yoga-kṣemaṁ vahāmy aham, teṣāṁ nityābhiyuktānām (BG 9.22). If one is actually dependent on Kṛṣṇa, there is no question of scarcity. That is the Śukadeva Gosvāmī's instruction, kasmād bhajanti kavayo dhana-durmadāndhān (SB 2.2.5). He says to the saintly persons to become independent. So he advises that "Why you are anxious for bedding? There is very nice grass. And you have got pillows, this hand, arms. You can lie down here. And where is...

Lecture on SB 1.8.41 -- Mayapura, October 21, 1974:

Therefore the Vedic civilization is that the affection is to be cut off compulsory at a certain age, not that the affection should continue. If the affection continues, then there is no chance of my becoming free from this material world. There is no chance. Therefore vānaprastha. Because the wife's..., affection with the wife, is very, very strong. So vānaprastha means the husband and wife, they give up the affection. Not give up, go away from home, and they travel in the holy places just to purify, and again, when the affection draws, they come to the family. Again remain for one or two months, then again go away. So the wife, there is no sex connection, but wife remains as assistant to the man to be accustomed how to remain aloof from the family. And then, when he is practiced to remain aloof from the..., then wife is also sent back to the family, to the care of elderly children, and the man takes sannyāsa, compulsory. It is called "civil suicide." My Guru Mahārāja used to say, "Commit civil suicide." Mean... If you commit suicide it is criminal.

Lecture on SB 1.8.42 -- Los Angeles, May 4, 1973:

This is called in Sanskrit sambandha, abhidheya and prayojana. Sambandha, abhidheya, prayojana. Just like in ordinary dealings, one businessman is going to do business with another man. So, first of all, the relationship is established by some agreement. Then the transaction takes place. One is supplier, one is purchaser. Then the result is profit. Three things are there. In husband and wife, the same thing. First of all sambandha, the relationship, who will I marry, which girl, which boy. First of all plan... In the beginning... Formerly it was settled up by the parents. Still in India it is settled up by the parents. That is called sambandha. Then the marriage takes place. Then husband and wife relationship, they live together. Then there is the profit, a child. Similarly the human life is meant for reestablishing our relationship with God. In this material world... Material world means forgetfulness, forgetting our relationship with God. That is called material world. No Kṛṣṇa consciousness—that is material world.

Lecture on SB 1.8.42 -- Mayapura, October 22, 1974:

When a widow, old woman, her husband is dead... We have got experience. And she talks very loosely with the grandson-in-law. I have got experience. When we were young, young married, so my grandmother-in-law, my father-in-law's mother, she was talking very loosely, just like husband and wife. So that's a practical... Because she... She is hopeless of getting another husband because she is old enough. So where is the husband? She accepts or talks like husband to the grandson-in-law. So similarly, the Māyāvādī philosophers, they do not accept Kṛṣṇa or Kṛṣṇa's līlā. They think it is māyā. They do not accept it. So there is no ānanda. Therefore they come down again. Punar mūṣiko bhava. Again open hospital because there is no engagement. And he has to raise fund. So this is very easy thing: "Sir I am going to open a hospital. Give me some fund." Nowadays, especially, it is very difficult to collect fund. If you say, "I am going to open a temple," nobody will give you. But if you say, "I am going to open a hospital," he'll give you.

Lecture on SB 1.8.47 -- Los Angeles, May 9, 1973:

So the plan was that within the womb of Pārvatī and by the semina of Lord Śiva, one son must take birth, and later on he took and his name was Kārttikeya. Kārttikeya was born. So, but they were... Lord Śiva was in meditation, and Pārvatī was not married at that time with Lord Śiva, although she was destined to marry Lord Śiva, because in the transcendental world, the husband and wife, they are also eternal. Even the wife or husband changes body, again they become husband and wife. This is in the higher sense. They do not separate. So but Lord Śiva was in meditation. And it is very difficult to break his meditation. So he was naked, and Pārvatī was engaged to worship śiva-liṅga, the genital of Lord Śiva. Still in the Vedic culture, there is worshiping of śiva-liṅga, the genital of Lord Śiva. So Pārvatī was engaged to worship the genital of Lord Śiva. Certainly there was touching by young girl, but he was not agitated. So Kālidāsa said, "Here is a dhīra. Here is dhīra."

Lecture on SB 1.8.51 -- Los Angeles, May 13, 1973:

Never mind he is rich or no. That doesn't matter. He must be a responsible boy, who knows his responsibility. Not that "Today I marry, and tomorrow I go away. That's all." Not like that. Still you will find in India, even the poorest man, living with husband and wife very happily. Still you will find. I have seen (in) Ahmedabad. One day I saw in the street one husband and wife pulling on a ṭhelā, hand-cart, with great load, and the small child is on the load. That means their child. They are laborer class. But ordinary laborer class, poor man, but they are living husband and wife and children happily. Still.

So marriage is very compulsory in Vedic system because who is to take charge of the woman? They require protection. The father must take charge naturally, or the husband. And when she is old... Just like Caitanya Mahāprabhu was taking charge of His widow mother. So when He took sannyāsa, so mother became very much upset:

Lecture on SB 1.9.48 -- Mayapura, June 14, 1973:

"Either you have to give up the company of that common girl or you have to give up this empire." So out of sentiment, he gave up the empire. Later on he was very sorry. And his second brother, George VI, he... George VI means the father of the present Queen, Elizabeth. So still this is current in aristocratic family, that the husband and wife should be selected by the parents.

So Gāndhārī, she was the daughter of Afghanistan, Ghandahar. Still, the name is there Gandahar. Gandhar. Formerly the name was Gandhar. So Gāndhārī means the daughter of Gandhar country. So when she was informed that her would-be husband is a blind man—Dhṛtarāṣṭra was blind from birth—so immediately she practiced austerity. Voluntarily she closed her eyes with cloth that she would also live as blind. "My husband would be blind. So, although I'm not blind, I must live also as blind."

Lecture on SB 1.10.4 -- Mayapura, June 19, 1973:

This is very important instruction. If the king of the state is an impious man, sinful man, that kingdom will never be happy. Naṣṭa. Everything is spoiled. As much as in a family, if the housewife is not good, contaminated, then there is no good life in the family. In Western countries especially, and in this country also, nowadays, there is no peace between husband and wife, and there is no, practically, no family life. In Western countries there is divorce. Here also the divorce law is introduced. And no family is happy. Gṛhiṇī doṣe gṛhastha naṣṭa. So king must be very pious.

Lecture on SB 1.15.20 -- Los Angeles, November 30, 1973:

That's all. That "If I occupy this post, then I shall be able to fulfill my lusty desires." Nobody is devotee. Devotion is only applicable to Kṛṣṇa. If somebody is proclaiming himself that "I am devotee, servant of my nation, of my society, of my wife, of my children"—all false. Here nobody is devotee. Everyone has got some motive. Even the intimate relationship between husband and wife, there is some motive. The husband has got some motive and the wife has got... As soon as the motive is not fulfilled, divorce: "Ah, no more now. Take another chapter."

So this is going on. You see? This is going on, and therefore in the name of devotion, in the name of love, in the name of faith, they are trying to satisfy their own senses. This is called illusion. And he will never be happy so long he will try to satisfy his senses. And that is the truth. They will never be happy. Because... I have given this example. The parts and parcel of your body. If separately the part and parcel of the body wants to satisfy itself, it will never be satisfied.

Lecture on SB 1.15.46 -- Los Angeles, December 24, 1973:

You are the most irreligious person, but if you can bribe the priestly order, he will certify, "Yes, you are religious." So money, not actual qualification.

So if you discuss these things... Long affairs, shortly. Then again it says, dāmpatye abhirucir hetur māyaiva vyāvahārike. Dāmpatye. Dāmpatye, husband and wife relation, will depend on abhiruciḥ. Abhiruciḥ means liking. A girl likes boy, and a boy likes girl. "That's all right. Now let the marriage take place." They do not see what will be future of this girl and the boy. Never. Therefore everyone is unhappy. Six months after marriage, divorce. Because the marriage took place on superficial liking, no deep understanding... So things are taking place like that. Formerly marriage, at least in India, at least up to our time, the marriage was taking place not on the liking of the boy and the girl. No. It was decided by the parents. So... Just like I was also married man. I was married when I was a student, and I did not know what will be the...

Lecture on SB 1.15.46 -- Los Angeles, December 24, 1973:

I am very sorry, that taking brahminical initiation, he is acting as a caṇḍāla, angry caṇḍāla. You see? So this is Kali-yuga. He does not understand that as brāhmaṇa he has got so responsibility. But because he has got the two-cent-worth sacred thread, he thinks now he has become brāhmaṇa. Vipratve. And strītve puṁstve ca hi ratir eva hi. And husband and wife, they will remain together because it was liking. And as soon as there will be sex difficulty, there will be disliking immediately.

Liṅgam eva āśrama-khyātau. Liṅgam eva. A dress simply. Taking white dress, a gṛhastha, he may do like anything. He is gṛhastha. No. There are so many duties. Taking a saffron cloth, he is sannyāsī. These are the... If we explain, it will take more, but these are the symptoms. Avṛttyā nyāya-daurbalyaṁ pāṇḍitye cāpalaṁ vacaḥ. If you have no money, then you will never get justice in the court. This is Kali-yuga. Nowadays the high-court judges, they are taking bribe, to give you a favorable judgment.

Lecture on SB 1.15.50 -- Los Angeles, December 27, 1973:

So this is the duty of the husband, that... Not like the modern days' husband: marries for three months. One, the sixth month, they were no more husband. Separate. Not like that. Husband means who takes charge of the girl for life, and wife means the girl who has the resolution to serve the husband throughout life. That is husband and wife. And when the wife is in danger, the husband's duty is to give protection, at any cost. That is husband-wife relationship.

But when one is going to retire, that is another thing. Because life is divided into four parts: brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha and sannyāsa. So woman has got three positions. They require protection. Women is never allowed to become renounced order of life. No. They are supposed to be under the care of somebody. So early age under the care of father, young age under the care of husband, and old age under the care of grown-up children, sons. This is woman's position. They remain always under the care of.

Lecture on SB 1.16.19 -- Hawaii, January 15, 1974:

Social life, political life, religious life—everything has been described there. And one thing I can see very practical, that in this age, lāvaṇyaṁ keśa-dhāraṇam. It is stated there that people will think that by keeping long hairs they will become very beautiful. That is stated there. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi. Husband and wife's relation will depend on the strength of sex. These are described there. Svīkāra eva codvāhe. Marriage will be performed simply by agreement.

Now, this is śāstra. Five thousand years ago, what was written, that is now becoming true. Now there is no marriage as it was taking formerly, Vedic marriage. The father (and) mother will select the bride, bridegroom, and there will be gorgeous ceremony and marriage. The father will spend... Both parties, the girl's father and the boy's father, will spend. Still in India, there are cases like that. They'll spend their hard-earned money during the marriage ceremony of their son and daughter.

Lecture on SB 1.16.23 -- Hawaii, January 19, 1974:

So the ṭhelā, in that cart there was sufficient load. So one side of the ṭhelā there was the wife, and the other side was the husband, and they had a little child, and that child was put up on the load. You see? And they were pulling. That means the husband and wife, working as God has given them to work. So they're working, taking care of the child. So after earning money, they'll go home. They have got a little cottage, and the wife will cook, the husband will eat, and they're peaceful. They're peaceful. It doesn't matter whether first-class eating, second-class... It doesn't matter. But still, they have got a home, and there they live peacefully. The wife cooks for the husband, and the husband eats, and the child is also taken care. It is not killed. There is peaceful. Peacefulness there is.

Lecture on SB 2.1.2 -- Vrndavana, March 17, 1974:

Dhīra means one who has controlled the senses, and adhīra means one who could not. Gosvāmīs are very kind to all classes of men. Dhīradhīra-jana-priyau. So how you can...? How the gosvāmī can be...? When six Gosvāmīs were here in Vṛndāvana, they were so popular to the whole people. Even in this Vṛndāvana dhāma, the village people, if they had some quarrel with husband and wife, they would to go Sanātana Gosvāmī, "Sir, there is some disagreement between us. You settle up." And Sanātana Gosvāmī will give his judgment, "You are wrong." That's all. They will admit. Just see how the popular they were. Sanātana Gosvāmī would give decision among their family quarrel also. So dhīrādhīra-jana-priyau. These ordinary men, they were not saintly persons, but they were devoted to Sanātana Gosvāmī. Therefore their life was successful. Because they would abide by the orders of Sanātana Gosvāmī, therefore they were also liberated. They may be personally wrong, but they abided by the Sanātana Gosvāmī.

Lecture on SB 2.1.3 -- Paris, June 12, 1974:

And the mother is helping the puppies by giving breast milk. So family you'll find everywhere. Even the birds, they have family, two birds, always together, the husband and wife. They have got a nest, and some eggs also. And they are also trying to, I mean to say, manufacture some nest. As soon as the lady bird is pregnant, they, immediately their attempt will be to find out some straw and make a nest. You have seen it perhaps, studied it. You see? So long the lady bird is not pregnant, there is no question of nest. This is natural. You'll find everywhere. Even the ants and the birds, beasts, everywhere. So this kuṭumba-bharaṇam is a duty of living entity. It doesn't matter whether he's a human being or a dog or a bird or a cat. That is natural. That is not very great credit.

Lecture on SB 2.3.25 -- Los Angeles, June 23, 1972:

Karṇa, he gave his son to be sacrificed. A brāhmaṇa asked that "I want your son to be sacrificed by you." He was incarnation of God. He tested Karṇa's charity. He was very charitable, so he asked him that "I want your son, and you shall sacrifice, you both, husband and wife." He agreed, Karṇa, "Yes, I'll do that." So there was some test like that. So actually, formerly, the kings, they possessed their kingdom just to manage, not thinking "It is my property. I am the king." As soon as the kings thought like that, the monarchy finished. The king never thought like that. He thought himself as appointed agent of God, king. So he never thought. So Par... Śuka. . . Pṛthu Mahārāja said that "Nothing belongs to me, and even if I can pay from my treasury, so I cannot actually pay for the benefit I have derived from you. Therefore, the only way I can pay—that I surrender unto you. You can utilize me in any way." So, tad viddhi praṇipātena paripraśnena sevayā (BG 4.34).

Lecture on SB 2.9.11 -- Tokyo, April 27, 1972:

In the Twelfth Canto you will find this description, svīkāra eva ca udvāhe—all these predictions are there. "Marriage will be done simply by agreement." Now it is... Just see. It is being done. Svīkāra eva. Svīkāra means agreement: "I accept you." No actual marriage ceremony is performed. Practically marriage is going out of date. So these symptoms are there. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi. Husband and wife's relations will be stronger if there is sex power. That's all. Otherwise divorce. Just see the symptoms. Dāmpatye ratim... Sūtratam... Sūtrate... Vipra. Vipratve sūtra-dhāraṇam: "A brāhmaṇa means having a piece of thread, that's all." Vipratve sūtra-dhāraṇam. And only two-paisa worth sūtra will... Just like in India: "Oh, I am brāhmaṇa because I have got this thread." That's all. Vipratve sūtra-dhāraṇam. Avṛttyā nyāya-rahitam(?): "If you have no money, then you cannot get justice." If you are poor man, then you will never get justice. You see? First of all, if you want to get some money... Somebody, he is not paying. You have to go to court.

Lecture on SB 3.25.15 -- Bombay, November 15, 1974:

So many things were there. Then the marriage would ta... But that kind of marriage is practically already stopped. Here, at the present moment, means simply agreement. "I like you. You like me. That's all right. Let us live together." Svīkāra eva codvāhe. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi. Husband and wife relationship means sex. There is no other purpose. As soon as there is some difficulty in sex enjoyment, they will be separated. These are all mentioned. Lāvaṇyaṁ keśa-dhāraṇam. Now, in the Western countries, here also, they're keeping long hair. So that will be beauty. Lāvaṇyaṁ keśa-dhāraṇam. Lāvaṇyam means luster of the body. The people will think, "If I keep long hair, then I have become very beautiful." The hippies, you see, long beard, long hairs. They are thinking, "We have become very beautiful." So these are all stated. Sūtram eva hi vipratve. A brāhmaṇa means having a two-paisa worth of thread. That's all. Thread. Simply to possess one thread, one becomes brāhmaṇa.

Lecture on SB 3.25.30 -- Bombay, November 30, 1974:

Just like in the Kali-yuga, it is stated lāvaṇyaṁ keśa-dhāraṇam: "People will think by keeping long hairs they will become beautiful." Lāvaṇyaṁ keśa-dhāraṇam. So that is very visible now, especially in the Western countries. They keep very long hairs. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi: "Marriage, husband and wife, they will be simply by agreement." Nowadays that is happening. You go to a marriage-maker and agree, and marriage is finished. Not like before. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi. And rati means sex desires. So long their sex desires will be completed, they can live. Svīkāra eva codvāhe. These are stated, all. Vipratve sūtram eva hi: "Become a brāhmaṇa, just have a sacred thread." Sacred or not sacred, get a thread. That's all, without executing the brahminical duties. That is going on. In this way there is a long list of Kali-yuga's activities.

Lecture on SB 3.25.33-34 -- Bombay, December 3, 1974:

She is Lakṣmī-devī, and she was always afraid of Kṛṣṇa, that "He may not leave me away," always afraid. Sometimes Kṛṣṇa was joking with Rukmiṇī-devī, "My dear Rukmiṇī-devī, rāja-kanyā, you are the daughter of a king, and you, it was better you could have married Śiśupāla. I am simply a cowherd boy." In this way, husband and wife, joking. Kṛṣṇa was joking. And Lakṣmī, Rukmiṇī-devī, became so afraid that immediately she fainted, that "Kṛṣṇa is now finding out the way to give me up." This is called lakṣmī-sahasra-śata-sambhrama-sevyamānam (Bs. 5.29). The Lakṣmīs are so with great respect and that Nārāyaṇa has become daridra. Just see the logic.

So these are all rascal philosophy. This is not. Nobody should become so ambitious as to become one with the Supreme. That is not very good intelligence. Good intelligence is that "I am eternal part and parcel of Nārāyaṇa, and it is the duty of the part and parcel to serve the whole." That is correct philosophy. Just like this finger is part and parcel of my body, so it is the duty of the finger to serve the whole body.

Lecture on SB 3.26.8 -- Bombay, December 20, 1974:

We are also prakṛti, but here it has been said, puruṣa. Living entity is prakṛti. Original position is prakṛti. Prakṛti means subordinate. We have got experience in this material world also: prakṛti, strī, and puruṣa, husband and wife. Natural position is that the wife is under or subordinate to the husband. At least that is the Vedic conception. Therefore woman places herself in the position of dāsī. Dāsī, maidservant. Even the queens of Kṛṣṇa, when... You will find in the Bhāgavata, Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, when there was talking between the queens and Draupadī at Kurukṣetra on some festival, that, as women, mixing together, they talk about their marriage, about their family, about their husband, so they were also talking. So Draupadī was asking the queens of Kṛṣṇa how they are married. Because in each time Kṛṣṇa had to fight to get the wife. That is the kṣatriya principle. Without fight, there is no marriage.

Lecture on SB 3.26.9 -- Bombay, December 21, 1974:

So Devahūti wants elucidation of the characteristics of puruṣa and prakṛti. So puruṣa is one, but prakṛti, there are many, energies. Prakṛti, energy. Just like we have got practical experience that husband and wife, the wife is supposed to be the energy. The husband works day and night very hard, but when he comes home, the wife gives him comfort, eating, sleeping, mating, in so many ways. He gets fresh energy. Especially the karmīs, they get energy by the behavior and service of the wife. Otherwise the karmīs cannot work. Anyway, the energy principle is there. Similarly, the Supreme Lord, He has got also energy. In the Vedānta-sūtra we understand that Supreme Personality of Godhead, the original source of everything, Brahman... athāto brahma jijñāsā. That Brahman... In one code Vyāsadeva describes that janmādy asya yataḥ: (SB 1.1.1)

Lecture on SB 5.5.1 -- Tittenhurst, London, September 12, 1969:

Just like Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa also undergone this disciplinary action when He was a brahmacārī for some time. So this is the system. In the beginning of life one should become brahmacārī, and then he marries and lives with wife and children, at most twenty-five years. Then he retires. The husband and wife goes from one pilgrimage to another, in this way travels. Because the children are grown up. And when the husband is completely free from all family attachment, he takes sannyāsa. This is the process. Brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, and sannyāsa. So this Mahārāja Ṛṣabhadeva, before retirement it is the duty of the father to give instructions how to look after family affairs, their personal affair, their spiritual advancement, everything, so here Ṛṣabhadeva is instructing, "My dear sons, do not think that this particular body, human body, is equal to the body of the cats and dogs and hogs. Don't consider like that." He has particularly mentioned viḍ-bhujām. Viḍ-bhujām means the stool-eater.

Lecture on SB 5.5.1-2 -- Stockholm, September 7, 1973:

Simply, just observe the four regulative principles—no illicit sex, no gambling, no meat-eating, and no intoxication. This much we have to practice if we are actually serious to go..., advance in spiritual life. This is vairāgya, voluntarily. What is the difficulty? You want sex life, why don't you live, husband and wife, married? Sex life is not denied, but not outside the marriage. That is denied. A little vairāgya. But we have made such a civilization that no responsibility for marriage. Let the girls become prostitutes and enjoy and go away. Horrible civilization. They are going towards hell, punaḥ punaś carvita-carvaṇānām (SB 7.5.30). But they do not know. Neither do they care. It is very serious situation of the present civilization. If we think... One who does not know, he's in darkness, that is a different thing. But especially in the Western countries I see that poor girls are being advertised for prostitution. What is that? Topless? Yes. Topless, bottomless and so many things. You see.

Lecture on SB 5.5.2 -- Boston, April 28, 1969:

We have got our mouth, we have got our stomach. We require to eat. So we do not stop your eating, but we regulate your eating that if you eat like this, kṛṣṇa-prasādam, then your life becomes full of austerity. If you have sex life in regulated married life, fixed-up husband and wife, then it is austerity. If you don't... Smoking or intoxicating, we never learned it from our childhood, from our birth. From childhood, we require milk to drink and live. But we have learned by bad association or good association. Similarly, we can give up also these habits by bad association or good association.

So tapo divyam. Tapo divyaṁ putrakā yena sattvaṁ śuddhyet: (SB 5.5.1) "My dear boys," Ṛṣabhadeva says, "if you accept this austerity, the principles of austerity, then your existence will be purified." The same example, just a man is suffering from fever. If his fever is cured, then he gets healthy life. And, when he's in healthy life, he's free to eat, move, and everything of his business.

Lecture on SB 5.5.3 -- Stockholm, September 9, 1973:

"Tomorrow, we are going to have this festival." But the festival means some leaves and some water. That's all. No utensils, no gold, no jewels, nothing of the sort. So this is another bahvārambhe laghu kriyā. Arrangement is very big, but fact is nothing. And dāmpatya kalahe caiva. And fight between or quarrel between husband and wife. In India, there is no question of divorce. So nobody takes very serious care when there is fight between husband and wife. So there also: "I'm going to immediately leave you, going to kill you..." and so many things. But after an hour, everything is finished. No more quarrel. Dāmpatya kalahe caiva prabhāte megha-garjane. And in the morning, if you see big cloud assembly and thundering sound, but you rest assured. There will be no rain in the morning. So these things are bahvārambhe laghu kriyā. Ārambha, beginning is very gorgeous. But end is nothing. So that is not good, bahvārambhe laghu kriyā.

Lecture on SB 5.5.8 -- Vrndavana, October 30, 1976:

Gṛhastha means one who follows the rules and regulation of sex life. That is gṛhastha. Not that simply united, man and woman, and live like animals. No, that is not gṛhastha. That is called gṛhamedhi. Gṛhamedhi and gṛhastha, there are two words. Gṛhamedhi means he does not know the rules and regulation. He thinks that this family, this husband and wife, children and home, that is everything. That is called gṛhamedhi. But gṛhastha means he is as good as a sannyāsī. Gṛhe tiṣṭhati 'pi gṛhastha (?). He is suitable..., he is not suitable to become a brahmacārī, because every facility is there, but regulated. And one who follows the regulative principles, he is āśrama. Either it is gṛhastha āśrama or sannyāsa āśrama, the same thing. Āśrama means—very easily understood in India, there is discussion—the place where the spiritual culture is cultivated, that is called āśrama. What is the difference between the āśrama and ordinary home? Ordinary home means the..., without any regulative principles, and āśrama means real purpose is self-realization, development of Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

Lecture on SB 5.5.8 -- Vrndavana, October 30, 1976:

They spend so much money to get a children. They go to the saintly persons and beg blessing, "Give us one children, one child." There was one great big man long ago, he had no child, so he came to my Guru Mahārāja and he offered, "Guru Mahārāja, if I get a child, I can give you the whole estate." So these are natural demands. First of all husband and wife and child, then apartment, then land, then friends, then money, in this way we become entangled more, ahaṁ mameti (SB 5.5.8). So instead of sukhera lagiya ei ghara bandhun, I became a householder for happiness, agune puriya gela, now there is blazing fire. Sukhera lagiya ei ghara bandhun agune puriya gela. And there is another, ravana hoila ithe gatila janja: "I wanted to be happy in this way, but it has become an embarassment." So this is going on.

Lecture on SB 6.1.7 -- San Francisco, March 1, 1967:

So how you can give perfect knowledge? This is our tendency. Nobody will say that "I am fool number one." Everyone will say that "I am very much learned," although he is fool number one. This is cheating. So this cheating propensity is there in everyone—even in our ordinary dealing, in business dealing or any other dealing, even within husband and wife. The husband thinking, "Oh, I have bluffed my wife in this way," and the wife is thinking, "Oh, I have bluffed my husband in this way." So the cheating process is there in me, in you, everywhere, because we are imperfect. Therefore it is not possible to get perfect knowledge from an imperfect man. We receive, therefore, knowledge from Kṛṣṇa, who is neither imperfect nor a man. He is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. That is the process.

Lecture on SB 6.1.8 -- Honolulu, May 9, 1976:

At home if one has no mother and if his wife is not very, I mean, what is called, apriya-vādinī, does not speak very well... Wife is meant for speaking very well to the husband. That is the husband and wife relationship. So Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says if the wife is not very attached and does not speak very well... Means does not like the husband on the whole. If such wife is at home and mother is not there... This is ideal Indian happy home. But in your country it is very rare, you see. But this is the standard of happiness. So if there is no mother and there is no good wife, then araṇyaṁ tena gantavyam, immediately he should give up that home. Araṇyam: he should go to the forest. "Why forest? In the city, I have got very nice home, nice building." No. For a person who has no good wife, neither mother, for him, yathāraṇyaṁ tathā gṛham. For him either this home or the forest, it is same.

Lecture on SB 6.1.10 -- Honolulu, May 11, 1976:

This is called śāstra. Five thousand years ago it was foretold that marriage means agreement. It will be in Kali-yuga. Svīkāram eva hi udvāhe. This is called śāstra. Bhūr bhaviṣyat vartamāna, everything. That is śāstra and that is perfect knowledge. And dam-patye ratir eva hi. Rati means sex satisfaction. So husband and wife means sex satisfaction. It will be the standard of man and woman's relationship. Dam-patye ratim eva hi. Vipratve sūtram eva hi. To become a brāhmaṇa means a thread, a two-cent worth, one thread. That's all. This is going on. These are all foretold. So that is being explained.

Lecture on SB 6.1.24 -- Chicago, July 8, 1975:

Pañcāśordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet. One must go to the forest. Forest means vana, and therefore, one who goes to the forest, from the word vana, it is vāna, vānaprastha. Prastha mean one who has gone. This is regulative life. One has to take leave from this family life and accept the vānaprastha. Vānaprastha means prior to accepting the renounced order of life. The husband and wife goes out of home and travels in many holy places to associate with holy man and take his instruction just to prepare for sannyāsa. So when one is fully equipped in knowledge, then he asks his wife to go to home to be taken care of by the elderly children, and he becomes a sannyāsī. This is called varṇāśrama-dharma. This is real purpose of life. Four varṇas, four classes of men, up to fourth class, not up to tenth class. And then spiritual life: brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsa. This institution is called varṇāśrama-dharma: four varṇas and four āśrama. So when one is educated or trained up by this varṇāśrama institution, then his human life begins.

Lecture on SB 6.1.25 -- Chicago, July 9, 1975:

Originally, the same attachment... Just like we have got attachment for our country, nation. Then attachment between the servant and the master, attachment between friend and friend, attachment between father and son or mother and son, and attachment between husband and wife or the beloved and the lover—these five kinds of attachment are there in this material world. Śānta, dāsya, sākhya, vātsalya, mādhurya. So the same attachment is there between Kṛṣṇa and devotee, either in the śānta... Some devotees have become there land, water, tree, flower. They are attached to Kṛṣṇa. Some devotees, they have become servants. They are attached to Kṛṣṇa. And some devotees, they have become cowherds boy, friendly. They are attached to Kṛṣṇa. And some devotees have become Kṛṣṇa's father, mother, uncle, elderly. They are attached to Kṛṣṇa. And some devotees, they have become gopīs, young girls, and love Kṛṣṇa, dance with Him rasa dance.

Lecture on SB 6.1.25 -- Honolulu, May 25, 1976:

Similarly, we have got a natural feeling for Kṛṣṇa. If you study thoroughly, that is called meditation, that "Whom I love." Say for the first time, I love my body. If there is some danger I try to protect myself from the danger. That means I love my body. So the next question will be: "Then why don't you love a dead body?" Suppose your wife or husband, you love, because the husband and wife is in the body, dehino 'smin yathā dehe (BG 2.13). So I love the body because the spirit soul is there. This is right conclusion. Otherwise who is going to love a dead body? Nobody. Now if wife's husband has died, son has died, he's crying. You can say that "Why you are crying?" "Oh, my son is gone, my husband is gone." "Nobody gone. It is lying here." "No, no, no. He's not." So after death we understand that this dead body is neither my husband nor my son. Late experience. But in the beginning there is no such experience. That is called illusion. He's understanding that this dead body is not neither my father, nor my husband, nor my son. He's different from.

Lecture on SB 6.1.26 -- Honolulu, May 26, 1976:

Therefore it is very prominent in the Western countries, as soon as there is difficulty in personal sense gratification, immediately divorce. This is the psychological, why so many divorces in this country. The root cause is that "As soon as I don't find satisfaction, then I don't want." That is stated in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam: dāṁ-patyaṁ ratim eva hi. In this age, husband and wife means sex satisfaction, personal. There is no question of that "We shall live together; we shall satisfy Kṛṣṇa by being trained up how to satisfy Kṛṣṇa." That is Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement. Don't do anything for your personal sense gratification. Do everything for Kṛṣṇa's sense gratification.

Just like the gopīs, they used to go to Kṛṣṇa. These gopīs, they were married, because in India twelve years, thirteen years girls are married still. I've told many incidences. So from childhood they are friends, small children, but the girls are married early, so they go to their husband's place, thirteen, fourteen years.

Lecture on SB 6.1.31 -- San Francisco, July 16, 1975:

So you have got big, big stock. That is required. There may be scarcity at times, but if you keep stock, then there is no trouble. This one, no foolish rascal should be worshiped, food grains should be nicely stocked, and the third thing, most important, dampatyoḥ kalaho nāsti: "There is no disagreement between husband and wife." If these three things are there, then you haven't got to pray to the goddess of fortune, "Kindly be merciful." She will automatically come. "Here is a very nice place. I shall stay here."

So this Ajāmila, he was dāsī-pati. He was a husband of a prostitute. So he was not happy. He was attached. Another thing is... That is also Cāṇakya Paṇḍita. He says, duṣṭā-bhāryā. Duṣṭā-bhāryā means this prostitute. Duṣṭā, who is polluted by another man, he is called duṣṭā. Strīṣu duṣṭāsu varṇa-saṅkaraḥ abhibhavāt. Therefore human civilization must be very careful that the women may not become polluted.

Lecture on SB 6.1.56-62 -- Surat, January 3, 1971, at Adubhai Patel's House:

He is personally seeing the sex affairs. How he can be checked from the sex appetite? It is clearly said, na śaśāka: "He was unable," na śaśāka samādhātum, "to control himself." Controlling.

Therefore these things are strictly prohibited for public seeing. These things... Everyone knows that when there is man and woman or husband and wife there is..., but not to be publicly exhibited. According to Hindu system—we have seen it—the wives go to the husband at night and nobody could see. Everyone... When everyone has gone, all elderly people has gone to sleep, then the wife goes. And he (she) comes early in the morning so that nobody can see when she has come out from the husband. This was the system. And at daytime no wife was allowed to see the husband, especially young wife. So this sex affair, according to Vedic civilization, is strictly regulated. It is not that cat's and dog's sex life. Because if you allow the sex life like cats and dogs, then the society will be cats and dogs.

Lecture on SB 6.2.4 -- Vrndavana, September 8, 1975:

They want to occupy big, big ministerial post to enjoy their life. Therefore the position of the whole world is so deteriorated because there is no ideal man. All rogues, thieves, I mean to say, in very fallen condition. Therefore people are deteriorating. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi. These will be the signs of Kali-yuga. Dāmpata means husband and wife. Their relation will stand so long they satisfy one another by sex, rati. Rati means sex. Dāmpate ratim eva hi. And as soon as there is sex disturbance: divorce—"I don't want you." Vipratve sūtram eva hi: "A brāhmaṇa means one, two paisa thread." That's all. "A sannyāsī means a rod." These are the explanations. And a very expert man means kuṭumba, dākṣyaṁ kuṭumba-bharaṇam. If anyone can maintain a family—family means one wife and one or two children—then he is to be considered very expert, successful because... Therefore you will find in these days—no wife, no children, no family. In Western countries they take dog as the best friend, and television. That's all.

Lecture on SB 6.3.16-17 -- Gorakhpur, February 10, 1971:

Yes. When you are liberated, you will understand in which way you are related with Kṛṣṇa. That is called svarūpa-siddhi. But that is attained when you are actually perfect in devotional service. Just like in our family, we enjoy different rasas. We have got one kind of relationship with wife, one kind of relationship with sons and daughters, one kind of relation with friends, one kind of relationship with servants, one kind of relationship with property. So similarly, Kṛṣṇa... The whole creation is His family, and He has got relationship in that way. So why the son will change his relationship into husband and wife?

Lecture on SB 7.6.1 -- San Francisco, March 3, 1967:

"I shall supply you. You shall purchase." This is called relationship. In every dealings we must have first of all the relationship. Then, when there is relationship established, then next stage is to deal according to that relationship. And when the dealing is perfect, then we get the desired result. So either in business field or in other relationship, friend and friend, wife and husband, master and servant, father and son... You can take any, accept any form of relationship. There must be a standard of dealing, and there must be a result out of that. This is called Bhāgavata-dharma. You must know what is your position, you must know what is God, and you must know what is your relationship with God. Then you must deal with God in that way. Then you get the desired result. This is perfection of life. It is called bhāgavata-dharma.

Lecture on SB 7.6.9-17 -- San Francisco, March 31, 1969:

Money is so pleasant and so dear that sometimes we risk our life for getting money. So how we can give up the monetary attraction when we are too much, I mean to say, attracted to this materialistic way of life?" Then again he says, kathaṁ priyāyā anukampitāyāḥ saṅgaṁ rahasyaṁ rucirāṁś ca mantrān. Then he said that "In old age the affection between husband and wife is revived." First of all, in young age, they enjoy life, and in old age they remember, "Oh, how we enjoyed in our young age. How we talked together, how we would walk together." These things, by contemplation, they enjoy. Suhṛtsu tat-sneha-sitaḥ śiśūnāṁ kalākṣarāṇām anurakta-cittaḥ. In this way, children, the children, they talking very nicely, laughing very nicely, and they are thinking, contemplating. In this way, attachment increasing, daily, attachment increasing. This description, of course, very common, but we should know that these are the shackles of māyā.

Lecture on SB 7.9.19 -- Mayapur, February 26, 1976:

They must be captured by the network of māyā. You cannot save them. If you want to save them, then make them Kṛṣṇa conscious. That is the only remedy. Unless you are expert in saving your children by giving them Kṛṣṇa consciousness, then you are not, you should not become father and mother. That is real contraceptive method, that "I shall... We are married, undoubtedly, husband and wife, but unless we are competent to give protection to my children—no more death—we should not beget children." This is real contraceptive.

That is the instruction in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam: pitā na sa syāj jananī na sā syāt 'na mocayed yaḥ samupeta-mṛtyum. Your duty is to give protection to children, father, mother. That's very good. But real protection is that "My children, this boy, this girl, has come in my belly. Now this is the last. I shall train them in such a way that next birth, he'll not have a material body." How it is? Yes, it is possible. How? Tyaktvā dehaṁ punar janma naiti mām eti kaunteya (BG 4.9).

Lecture on SB 7.9.24 -- Mayapur, March 2, 1976:

This is the idea, to become servant and to become maidservant. This is ideal of human civilization. The every woman should try to become maidservant of her husband, and every man should try to become the hundred times servant of Kṛṣṇa. This is Indian civilization, not that "Husband and wife, we are equal rights." That, in Europe, America, the movement is going on, "Equal rights." That is not Vedic civilization. Vedic civilization is the husband should be a sincere servant of Kṛṣṇa, and the wife should be a sincere maidservant of the husband.

Therefore here it is said, upanaya māṁ nija-bhṛtya-pārśvam (SB 7.9.24). This is the best association. When Nārada Muni is describing how the man should behave, how the woman should behave... We are discussing now in our tape dictaphone. You'll hear that. That there is no such thing to become master. It is useless. You cannot become master. Ahaṅkāra-vimūḍhātmā kartāham iti manyate (BG 3.27).

Lecture on SB 12.2.1 -- San Francisco, March 18, 1968:

What is that? What for you? What is that to you?" So balam eva hi. If anyone is powerful in power, oh, he can act against the rules and regulations of religious or scriptural injunctions. Nobody can protest.

Dharma-nyāya-vyavasthāyāṁ kāraṇaṁ balam eva hi. Dāmpatye abhirucir hetur māyaiva vyāvahārike. Dāmpatye. Dāmpatye means making husband and wife relationship. Abhiruciḥ. Abhiruciḥ means liking. A boy likes another girl, and the girl likes another boy. That's finished. Let them become husband and wife. Formerly, it was not. Formerly, according to Vedic civilization, there was no liking of the boy or the girl. The parents of the boy and the girl, they would see, "Whether this combination will be happy." They will bring horoscope and calculate astronomically, "What is the symptoms of this boy? What is the symptoms of this girl? Whether they will be peaceful in married life?" They calculated, and the parents would see in what kind of family the girl is born, and what kind of boy, the family he's born.

Lecture on SB 12.2.1 -- San Francisco, March 18, 1968:

At least, I was also married, and some of my children, they were also married. But this system in India is still followed. The parents, they select the suitable boy and the suitable girl. The primary aim is that they may live very peacefully. There may not be unnecessarily disturbance in their family life. That was the aim. But in the Kali-yuga it is said dāmpatye, selection of husband and wife, will depend on agreement. That's all. "I like you; you like me." That's all. Finished. Dāmpatye abhirucir hetuḥ. Abhiruciḥ. Because the boy likes the girl. And suppose the parents do not like? That will be taken, "The girl likes, so that's it." That's all.

So dāmpatye... It is not only in your country. In every country. Because the age is like that. Dāmpatye abhirucir hetur māyaiva vyāvahārike. Māyā means false dealing. Vyāvahāre. Even in ordinary dealing there will be cheating and faultiness, even in ordinary. Even you go to purchase something from a store, oh, there is false dealing. Dāmpatye. Strītve puṁstve ca hi ratiḥ.

Lecture on SB 12.2.1 -- San Francisco, March 18, 1968:

And strītve, a husband and wife will agree so long they are sexually strong. That's all. Strītve puṁstve ca hi ratiḥ. Ratiḥ means sex. Formerly it was not the system. The husband and wife combined together as life companion. Even the husband becomes diseased and paralyzed, the wife cannot give, give him up. "Oh, he is my husband." Similarly, wife. Either she becomes diseased or so many things, the husband and wife combined together for life. There was no question of divorce. There was no question of divorce, even they do not like each other, even they fight. Fight there must be, whenever there are two men or woman. That is individuality. Therefore Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says, dāmpatye kālahe caiva bambhārambhe laghu-kriya. Whenever there is fight between husband and wife, it should be neglected. The formula of Cāṇakya Paṇḍita is given like this: Aja-yuddhe.

Lecture on SB 12.2.1 -- San Francisco, March 18, 1968:

That means you can neglect. As you can neglect the fight between two goats, as you can take not seriously the śraddhā ceremony of muni, as you do not take very seriously the thundering sound of the cloud in the morning, similarly, dāmpatye kālahe caiva, similarly, whenever there is fight between husband and wife, you should take like that. Don't take it seriously. But at the modern civilization, the husband and wife quarrel is taken so seriously that immediately they go to the court and there is filing of divorce, and the combination, the married life, dissolved, and both are unhappy. And this psychology is, as it is stated... I do not know, but probably it is right, that disagreement between husband and wife is due to sex difficulty. That's all. It is clearly stated here. Either the husband or the wife, if there is not complete sex satisfaction, one of them must be very unhappy, and disagreement and dissolution...

Nectar of Devotion Lectures

The Nectar of Devotion -- Bombay, December 28, 1972:

Then you get, get down and push the car and (makes noise:) brut brut brut, goes. Similarly the bhakti-rasa is there in everyone's heart. Nitya-siddha kṛṣṇa-bhakti. Because we, we are part and parcel of Kṛṣṇa. Just like father and son. A father and son may be separate for many, many, many, many years. But as soon as they meet together, again the same affection comes. Again the same affection comes. Wife and husband. Therefore sannyāsī is strictly prohibited to see his wife. Because there is staunch affection. By meeting again that affection. By meeting again that affection may come. He may fall down. Therefore strictly prohibited. At least, other members can be seen. But not the wife. So the fact is that we have got devotion for Kṛṣṇa. That is fact. But some way or other, we are separated and we have forgotten. So as soon as, by this regulative principle, by the order of the spiritual master, by the injunction of the śāstras, we begin devotional service. That, that, just like our students do here. They are offering ārātrika. They're offering dress, offering garland.

The Nectar of Devotion -- Bombay, January 1, 1973:

Therefore the real love cannot be appreciated with our, this material senses. Whatever we appreciate or experience by the material senses, that is not love, that is lust. Motive. There is some motive. One is friend of another person, very intimate friends, both of them have got some motive. As soon as the motive is frustrated, they separate. These things, we find. Even husband and wife, as soon as the sense gratification is disturbed, immediately there is divorce between husband and wife. So... (aside, in response to background noise:) What is this outside?

The Nectar of Devotion -- Bombay, January 7, 1973:

And when that is advanced... (feedback) (aside:) What is this sound? When that is advanced, it becomes vātsalya-rasa. Vātsalya-rasa means the taste of relationship between parents and the children. These are advanced. Śānta-rasa, dāsya-rasa, sakhya-rasa, and then vātsalya-rasa, parenthood, filial love. And above this, there is mādhurya-rasa. Mādhurya-rasa means the taste between husband and wife, lover and the beloved. That is called mādhurya-rasa. Similarly... These are the primary rasas. (aside:) The draft is coming this side, or...? It is open.

The Nectar of Devotion -- Vrndavana, October 29, 1972:

Out of that, learned scholars, devotees, they have divided the whole energy into three, external, internal, and marginal. So the living entities, they are production of the marginal energy. The living entity is energy, prakṛti. Not the puruṣa. Puruṣa is Kṛṣṇa. We are all prakṛtis, all living entities. Prakṛti means predominated, and puruṣa means predominator. Just like we see, ordinarily, husband and wife, the husband is predominator and the wife is predominated. Although there is no difference between husband and wife. They are one, divided into two. Similarly, prakṛti and puruṣa, they are one. They are not two.

It is explained by Svarūpa Dāmodara: rādhā-kṛṣṇa-prakr..., praṇaya-vikṛtir hlādinī śaktir asmād ekātmānāv api purā deha-bhedo gatau tau. Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa, They are one. But, although They are one, They bifurcated Themselves as Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. So there is no difference between Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. Rādhā is the superior energy, or spiritual energy. And Kṛṣṇa is the energetic. Similarly, this material world is external energy.

The Nectar of Devotion -- Vrndavana, October 30, 1972:

We are meant for being enjoyed, not to take the post of enjoyer. Here, in this material world, everyone is artificially trying to become enjoyer, both men and women. But that is illusion. Nobody's enjoyer. Bhoktāraṁ yajña-tapasāṁ sarva-loka-maheśvaram (BG 5.29). The supreme enjoyer is Kṛṣṇa. So just like prakṛti-puruṣa, we can get one idea, husband and wife. Husband is puruṣa, wife is prakṛti. So if the wife is faithful, always trying to serve the husband, always to make her husband pleased, and husband takes care of the wife for all her necessities of life, as that home life becomes very beautiful and happy, similarly, Kṛṣṇa is the Supreme Puruṣa, enjoyer. We living entities, if we simply try to serve Him and make Him happy, as the gopīs did, then it is very congenial atmosphere as it was in Vṛndāvana. Everyone is serving Kṛṣṇa. Everyone is trying to please Kṛṣṇa. The birds, the beasts, the trees, the land, the water, the cowherd boys, the gopīs, Kṛṣṇa's father, mother, elderly people—everyone—the central point is Kṛṣṇa. That is Vṛndāvana.

The Nectar of Devotion -- Vrndavana, November 12, 1972:

When one desires one's own sense gratification... In the material world, suppose a boy loves a girl and a girl loves a boy. That is personal sense gratification. As soon as the personal sense gratification is not satisfied, immediately the so-called love is divorced. No more love. In the Kali-yuga, it is stated in the śāstras, dāmpatye ratim eva hi. In... Love between husband and wife will be disturbed as soon as there is no satisfaction of sex desires. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi. And in the Western countries, we find... In our country also, it has already begun; there are so many divorce cases. Mostly the divorce cases take place when there is disturbance in sex, sex satisfaction. So that is lust. But here, in the case of Kṛṣṇa and gopīs, that is different thing. The gopīs used to dress themselves so that Kṛṣṇa will feel satisfied, satisfaction. For Kṛṣṇa's satisfaction. They used to dress for Kṛṣṇa's satisfaction. That is, of course, very difficult to understand. But we should learn from the śāstras. The gopīs had no sense gratification desire. They wanted to satisfy Kṛṣṇa.

Sri Caitanya-caritamrta Lectures

Lecture on CC Adi-lila 1.5 -- Mayapur, March 29, 1975:

Some wants to love Him in śānta-rasa, some wants to love Him in dāsya-rasa, someone in friendly, then paternal love, then conjugal love. So there is no difference between these different phases of loving affair, but great devotees and learned scholars, they have given their decision that the loving affairs of Kṛṣṇa in the conjugal platform between husband and wife, or above that, between lover and beloved... That is very much prominent in the Western countries, friend, boyfriend, girlfriend. In the spiritual world that platform of remaining as friend without marriage, that is considered as the highest. And whatever we see here—a perverted reflection of that loving affairs. Just like perverted reflection... It is described in the Bhagavad-gītā, ūrdhva-mūlam adho-śākha aśvatthaṁ prāhur avyayam. This material world has been described as having its root up, ūrdhva-mūlam adho-śākha, and the branches down. We have several times explained this ūrdhva-mūlam adho-śākha. In the material world this is a shadow.

Lecture on CC Adi-lila 7.5 -- Mayapur, March 7, 1974:

Caitanya-caritāmṛta is trying to explain that pañca-tattva eka-vastu, they are one Kṛṣṇa, but āsvāda, taste... Akhila-rasāmṛta-sindhu. Kṛṣṇa is the ocean of all pleasure, reservoir of all pleasure. There are different types of pleasure. Just like pleasure like master and the servant. The master is also pleased by the service of the servant, and the servant is pleased by rendering service to the master. This is taste. Husband and wife: Husband is pleased having a wife, wife is pleased having... These are the different tastes: between master and servant, between friend and friend, between father and son, mother and son, between the lover and the beloved. These are different tastes. So this taste is required, transcendental mellow. The Māyāvādī philosophers, they cannot understand this taste. They think everything is one. And in the material world also, we accept, "Variety is the mother of enjoyment." Without varieties, although everything is spiritual... In Vṛndāvana everything is spiritual. Gauḍa-maṇḍala-bhūmi, yebā jāne cintāmaṇi.

Lecture on CC Madhya-lila 20.124-125 -- New York, November 26, 1966:

And if you don't love God, then you cannot love anyone. Because He's the center. Just like in our... Of course, here your family system is different. In India there is joint family system. Suppose a girl comes... The parents, they engage the girls and boys. Say a girl belonged to a different family. But when she is married, she comes to family, and because the husband and wife is related, at once the husband's brother becomes related, the husband's mother becomes related, the husband's father becomes related. Husband's... Everyone becomes related at once. The central point is husband. Before that, before any connection with that central point, this boy's father, brother had no relation with that girl. You see? So central point must be there. So if you can love God, then everything in relationship with God, then you can love. You can love every man. You can love your country. You can love your society. You can love your friend. Everyone. That is the point. They are thinking in a different way, "Why shall I love God only? Why shall I love God?

Lecture on CC Madhya-lila 20.337-353 -- New York, December 25, 1966:

"In the Kali-yuga, marriage will be performed simply by agreement." Just see. Another... Lāvaṇyaṁ keśa-dhāraṇam: "People will think by keeping long hairs they will be very beautiful." It is stated in Bhāgavata. They'll look very beautiful. Lāvaṇyaṁ keśa-dhāraṇam. It is written there if you see. It is not story. Svīkāra eva hy udvāhe. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi: "And husband and wife relation means sex. That's all." If the husband has got sex power, then there will be no divorce. These are all written there. Simply sex life, husband and wife relationship. Simply sex life. Vipratve sūtram eva hi: "And one will be considered a brāhmaṇa simply by this thread." These are all written there. A two-cent-worth thread, you get it..., "Oh, you have got thread. Oh, you are a brāhmaṇa." That's all. This is going on in India. Two-paisa-worth brāhmaṇa. He has all the qualification of less than a caṇḍāla, but, because he has got this nonsense thread, he's considered a brāhmaṇa. So these things are all mentioned.

Sri Isopanisad Lectures

Sri Isopanisad, Mantra 9-10 -- Los Angeles, May 14, 1970:

Now, it is to be decided by an intelligent man whose actions are actually right.

These things are very nicely discussed in Vedic literature. There is another... Just like this is Īśopaniṣad. Similarly, there is another Upaniṣad, Garga Upaniṣad. So that is the talk between husband and wife, very learned. The husband is teaching the wife. Etad viditvā yaḥ prayāti sa eva brāhmaṇa gargi. Etad aviditvā yaḥ prayāti sa eva kṛpanā. This real culture of knowledge, one who... Everyone takes birth and everyone will die. There is no difference of opinion about it. We shall die and they shall die. They can say that "You are thinking of birth, death, old age and disease. So do you mean to say that because you are cultivating Kṛṣṇa consciousness knowledge, you will be free from these four principles of nature's onslaught?" No. That is not the fact. The fact is, the Garga Upaniṣad says, etad viditvā yaḥ prayāti. One who quits this body after knowing what he is, sa eva brāhmaṇa, he is brāhmaṇa. Brāhmaṇa...

Sri Brahma-samhita Lectures

Lecture on Brahma-samhita, Verse 34 -- San Francisco, September 13, 1968 :

At least he should be given a little rice, little flour. That is the system. So, so many people are coming to see them, how they have become Vaiṣṇava, saintly person, and contributing, somebody flour, somebody dahl, somebody rice, somebody fruit. "Oh," they thought. "Oh, why Nārada is sending so much? We are only two persons, husband and wife, and he is sending more than twenty person foodstuffs, daily." So, he was convinced that "If I chant Hare Kṛṣṇa, I will not starve. Nārada will send everything, that's all."

So, gradually by chanting they became very highly advanced spiritually. So one day Nārada said to his friend Parvata, "My dear Parvata, I have got a disciple in Prayāga. He was hunter, and I have initiated him to chant Hare Kṛṣṇa. Let us go and see how he is doing." So, two friends are coming there, and it is the system that the disciple, by seeing the spiritual master, should immediately offer obeisances and receive him very nicely. So when he was going to receive from distant place Nārada, he saw some ants were on the feet, and he was trying to remove them so that they may not die, pressure of his foot... (break)

Festival Lectures

Sri Vyasa-puja -- New Vrindaban, September 2, 1972:

Everyone wants to cheat others. This is the dealing. Suppose we are businessman, making some agreement. So I am trying to make the agreement in my favor; you are trying to make the agreement in your favor. I am thinking, "I have cheated this person. I am so clever." You see? So the cheating propensity is there, even we hide something. Even husband and wife, we cheat one another, what to speak of man... Even sometimes father and son, what to speak of other relation. So cheating propensity is... First that we commit mistake, we are illusioned, we cheat, and at the end, all our senses are imperfect. Just like we are very much proud of seeing. Everyone says, "Can you show me? I want to see." And what can you see? What is the power of seeing? At night, if there is no sunshine, you cannot see, so what is the use of your seeing? If there is wall, you cannot see what is beyond the wall. You are seeing every day the sun, but we are seeing just like a small disc.

Sri Vyasa-puja -- London, August 22, 1973:

I'm sometimes criticized by my Godbrothers that I have become a marriage-maker, because a sannyāsī does not take part in a marriage ceremony, but I get my disciples married. This is also unique in the history. So they criticize me that I have become a marriage-maker. But they, they do not know why I take this risk. I have got many disciples, they are married couples, but all of them, husband and wife, they are helping this movement. Here is Bhagavān dāsa, he's also married man, children.

So actually, married couples should be paramahaṁsas. Paramahaṁsa means the topmost stage of sannyāsī. Paramahaṁsa. A sannyāsī has got four stages: kuṭicaka, bahudaka, parivrājakācārya and paramahaṁsa. A sannyāsī, in the beginning, he's supposed to make a small cottage, just on the border of the village, does not go home, but the, his necessities are supplied by his home, but he does not go home. This is called kuṭicaka. Then gradually, when he is practiced, he begs from home to home. He does not anymore depend on his own home. (aside:) Stop this. That is called bahudaka.

His Divine Grace Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Gosvami Prabhupada's Appearance Day, Evening -- Gorakhpur, February 15, 1971:

They are prepared to go any part of the world. And just now I received one letter from my disciple Śrīmān Upendra dāsa. He does not know Hindi, and in the Fiji Island there are many Indians, but still, he is making propaganda. He's simply chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra door to door. They are also husband and wife. And people are very much appreciating.

So my Guru Mahārāja's desire and Caitanya Mahāprabhu's prediction is now being fulfilled. At least, it has begun to be fulfilled. So it is a genuine movement, authorized movement, and India's original culture. So our appeal to the Indian people, that "You should take seriously about this movement and try to cooperate with us." That will be glorification for Indian culture. At the present moment, India is known as very poor, poverty-stricken country. People are under impression that "They are beggars. They have got nothing to give. They simply come here to beg."

Jagannatha Deities Installation Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.2.13-14 -- San Francisco, March 23, 1967:

Then there will be business procedure. And then, next stage is profit. Any way you take it... Suppose a boy and a girl agrees to get themselves married. So that is called agreement: "Yes, I shall marry you. You shall become my husband." "You shall become my wife." That is agreement. Then they should live together as a husband and wife. And the result is that they get good child, very nice child, lovely child. So everything, first there is to establish relationship. The next work is to act on that relationship. And the result—then enjoy.

So similarly, if we understand what is Absolute Truth... The Absolute Truth is already mentioned, that "We understand the Absolute Truth in three phases: first of all, impersonal Brahman; second, localized Paramātmā, Supersoul; and the ultimate, last, is the Supreme Personality of Godhead." So if you at all understand that "Supreme Personality, Godhead, is the cause of all causes.

Arrival Addresses and Talks

Arrival Address -- London, September 11, 1969:

No. There is no question of. We do not know what is divorce. In our country there is no divorce, at least in Hindu law. Yes. Wife and husband, once combined, that is for life. There is no question of separation, in all circumstances. Either in distress or in happiness, there is no question of separation. Now our modern politicians, they have introduced this divorce law. Otherwise, according to Hindu, Manu-saṁhitā, there is no divorce law.

Arrival -- Philadelphia, July 11, 1975:

Prabhupāda: Just like in Hawaii. (break) ...New Vrindaban, how far it is?

Kīrtanānanda: From here? About three hundred miles.

Prabhupāda: Three hundred. Not much. (break) ...the husband and wife, they cannot live long together.

Kīrtanānanda: But we are developing very nice householder couples at New Vrindaban, very good families.

Prabhupāda: That is essential. Peaceful life of householders, that is required. (end)

Initiation Lectures

Initiation of Hrsikesa Dasa and Marriage of Satsvarupa and Jadurani -- New York, September 5, 1968:

And there is no separation. It is... There is no question of divorce or separation. In any condition of life, happiness or distress, you shall continue as husband and wife, because our main business is Kṛṣṇa consciousness. This marriage is not material marriage for sense gratification. But because there are girls and boys and we require also Kṛṣṇa conscious population, therefore we encourage this marriage. It is not for sense gratification. So in this way there is no question of separation or divorce. You admit this? Yes. You also admit this? Then you change your garland.

Initiation of Hrsikesa Dasa and Marriage of Satsvarupa and Jadurani -- New York, September 5, 1968:

Prabhupāda: Now chant Hare Kṛṣṇa. (chants) Chant Hare Kṛṣṇa. Boston center is in your charge, husband and wife. So you have to develop. You do it, and your children will do it. In this way just engage fully, heart and soul, in Kṛṣṇa's service. Oh, this is mixed?

Brahmānanda: No, it's not.

Prabhupāda: Bring that. Mix it. Mix it. Yes, mix it. (oṁ apavitraḥ recitation-fire sacrifice) Offer. Svāhā. Take. Everyone, you also take, little, little, some. Vande aham... (recites maṅgalācaraṇa and prayers again, with devotees repeating) Now take one banana. Give him one. Yes, you take one. He'll give. Hayagrīva. Give Hayagrīva one. Give me one. Yes. Now turn(?) down. Yes. (chants namo brahmaṇya-devāya prayer three times) Just put slowly. (chants Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra responsively with devotees two times) Now bow down.

Initiations -- Sydney, April 2, 1972:

So our marriage, Kṛṣṇa consciousness institution encouraging marriage, on this ground: not to produce cats and dogs, but to produce highly qualified devotees. So you should always remember that. And there is no... Once married, there is no question of divorce or separation. That you should remember. We don't allow any divorce and separation. The husband and wife, there may be sometimes disagreement, but according to Vedic literature, when there is fight or disagreement between husband and wife, it should be neglected. Nobody take it seriously. The Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says,

aja-yuddhe muni-śrāddhe prabhate megha-ḍumbare

dampatiḥ kalahe caiva bāmbhārambhe laghu-kriyā

Aja-yuddhe: "Fighting of the goats, and a śraddhā ceremony performed by the sages in the forest, and sounding in the sky, vibration of cloud, rumbling of the cloud early in the morning, and similarly, fight between husband and wife-don't take it seriously."

Initiations -- Sydney, April 2, 1972:

You have got experience that rumbling early in the morning—never there is heavy shower of rain. There may be very great rumbling, but the result is very small, maybe some drizzling. Similarly, a husband and wife may fight, but if you don't give them any seriousness, they'll mitigate. That is the process. But in the Western countries, in the name of liberty, so many family lives are dismantled simply by this divorce case. So according to Vedic civilization, there is no divorce. Once united, it cannot be disunited in any condition of life. That you should follow. That is our first. So I think you promise this, all of you? Say yes.

Wedding Ceremonies

Paramananda & Satyabhama's Wedding -- Montreal, July 22, 1968:

Paramānanda: So there is no separation in any circumstances.

Prabhupāda: Yes. Now you garland this... You change the garland. Now you come to this side. You go to that side. Now you are legal husband and wife. Is that all right? Yes. Now chant Hare Kṛṣṇa. (break) (prayers, fire sacrifice) Now offer this plantain like this, slowly. Thank you.

Satyabhāmā: Hare Kṛṣṇa. (devotees repeat last prayer of sacrifice after Prabhupāda, the mahā-mantra.)

Prabhupāda: Now bow down. (leads in recitation of praṇāma mantra) You chant Hare Kṛṣṇa. (end)

Wedding of Syama dasi and Hayagriva -- Los Angeles, December 25, 1968:

I have got my heartfelt blessings upon you. You be happy. Our parents are present here. It is a very nice arrangement. And forget... In any circumstances... This material world we have to pass through many circumstances, but sometimes, even it is intolerable, we have to tolerate. So according to Hindu conception of life, even there is some misunderstanding between husband and wife, it is not taken very seriously. Never taken very seriously. But in your country, in the name of liberty and freedom, there are so many things. I do not wish to discuss all those things. But according to Vedic system, husband and wife, united together, there cannot be any separation. Perhaps you have heard the name of Mahatma Gandhi. He was married when he was student, sixteen years old, and his wife was also of the same age. Later on Mahatma Gandhi became a very famous man. So one day there was husband and wife quarrel. So Mahatma Gandhi, he has written in his own biography, he drove away the wife: "You get out from my house."

Wedding of Syama dasi and Hayagriva -- Los Angeles, December 25, 1968:

So Mahatma Gandhi, he has written in his own biography, he drove away the wife: "You get out from my house." So the wife got out of the house and was crying in the street, "Where shall I go?" And again Mahatma Gandhi went there, "Come on." So even there was quarrel between Mahatma Gandhi and his wife. So this quarrel of husband and wife is not very serious thing. So I'll request you, even there is some misunderstanding, forget it. Don't take it seriously. Simply you concentrate on Kṛṣṇa consciousness business. You have got nice business now, both of you, conjointly working for editing my Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. You consult in that business and live peacefully. You are educated, she is also educated. If there is any misunderstanding, don't take it seriously. That is my request. Besides that, I am always at your service, I am always (here) to help you. So this marriage ceremony is very happy occasion. I shall request all friends, relatives, parents, to give their blessings to this nice couple and let us perform.

Wedding Ceremony and Lecture -- Boston, May 6, 1969:

So we want such pairs in our society. We are not dry. Everything is there. The hedonists, they want eat, drink, be merry and enjoy. These four things for the hedonists, they are going to hell. But our, the same things are there. We are dancing, we are chanting, we are eating, and we have love also between husband and wife, between boys and girls. We allow everything. But everything is targeted to achieve to the highest goal of life, Viṣṇu, or Kṛṣṇa. That is the significance of this life. We don't stop anything, but we regulate everything to achieve the highest perfection of life. That is our aim. Adānta-gobhir viśatāṁ tamisram (SB 7.5.30). One who does not know this technique... Everyone, every living entity, is by nature hankering after joy, joyful life. That is his nature. Because... Kṛṣṇa and Rādhārāṇī, you see. They are also transcendental unity. Kṛṣṇa is representing as a young boy, sixteen years. Similarly, Rādhārāṇī is also a young girl.

General Lectures

Lecture -- Montreal, June 26, 1968:

Flesh and blood. But that flesh and blood is very attractive? That story, perhaps I have enunciated, that beauty was kept in a pot? Do you remember? Huh? I may repeat that story again, that one girl was very beautiful, and one boy was after him (her). But in India the boys and girls are not allowed to mix freely unless they are husband and wife. So this girl was married, but she was not very rich. But that boy was very rich and he was after her. He was always proposing her. And she became perplexed, that "He is rich man. If I don't agree, then he may do some harm to my husband, to me." So she made a plan that "All right. I agree to your proposal. You come to my house in such and such night. I'll be engaged with you." Oh, he was very... In the meantime, (s)he took some purgative pill, strong. So for six, seven days, she simply purged out all the beauty in vomiting and in passing stool. So those vomits and stools were kept in two pots. And naturally, if you pass stool for one day, your feature becomes immediately ugly. That is a fact.

Lecture -- Los Angeles, January 15, 1969:

That is required, routine, practice. Just like in India, formerly, the boys and girls were married at very early age. So I was also married very early age. My wife was only eleven years old. So I have heard my mother-in-law was married—she was seven years old and my father-in-law was eleven years old. So this marriage was performed, but it is not that the husband and wife live together unless they are mature, grown-up. So there was a system to, in order to... Because premixing is still not allowed in India, but the husband and wife... The wife by the elderly members was asked that "Just take this foodstuff, tiffin, to your husband." So she comes, offers little foodstuff, pan. In this way they gradually develop their relationship, loving relationship. But actually, when that love is mature, there is no need of introduction. In the beginning it is required. So devotional service is divided into two portions. Vidhi. Vidhi-mārga, rāga-mārga. Vidhi means by according to the order of the spiritual master. Then, when it is fully developed, then no more vidhi.

Lecture -- New York, April 16, 1969:

Generally, people are very much attached. Why men? Even animals, they are also. Even a tiger, he has got a wife and few cubs. So he's happy there. Gṛha-medhinām. A serpent, he has got also wife, a few children. Or any animal, dog, cat—the husband and wife and few children. That is everywhere. It is not only in the human society. But the human society, even they are with wife, home, and children, they can talk about Kṛṣṇa. That is the facility. Otherwise, śrotavyādīni rājendra nṛṇāṁ santi sahasraśaḥ (SB 2.1.2). There are thousands and thousands of subject matter for talking. Just like you take a newspaper in the morning. In your country, a bunch of paper. You see. Although you cannot read, you must get one newspaper. You'll read only one column or one page, but there are thousands of pages. You see? You cannot finish even in one month such reading. (laughter) But what are those containing?

Hare Krishna Festival Address -- San Diego, July 1, 1972, At Balboa Park Bowl:

You must repay the debts. If you simply beget children like cats and dogs and go away, then you become responsible for the sinful activities. You must take responsible. So this man was suggesting, he wants sex life at least once in a month. Yes, that is allowed. That is allowed in the Vedic civilization. When the wife is in menstrual period, after five days of the menstrual period, the wife and husband can have sex life for begetting rightful children. And before be getting a child, one must go... If he is in the higher orders of society, one must accept the garbhādhāna-saṁskāra. Garbhādhāna-saṁskāra means that child born out of the sex life of the father and mother must come out a very nice child, not like the cat and dog. That is called garbhādhāna-saṁskāra. Those who are in the higher position of the society, they are obliged to observe ten kinds of purificatory processes, out of which, the first purificatory process is garbhādhāna-saṁskāra.

Rotary Club Lecture -- Ahmedabad, December 8, 1972 'The Present Need of Human Society':

Dharma-nyāya-vyavasthāyām, to establish justice, anyone who is powerful, he will get justice. You bribe. Nowadays... Of course, we do not discuss these things. Everyone knows. Justice can be purchased in this age. Balam eva hi. Dāmpatye ratir, ratir abhirucir hetur māyaiva vyāvahārike. These are the symptoms. Dāmpatye, husband and relationship, husband and wife, means sex power. We have practically seen in the Western countries, as soon as there is some disturbance in the sex relation of husband and wife, there is divorce. So that, these are the symptoms. Strītve puṁstve ca hi ratir vipratve sūtram eva hi. So man and woman should be united in marriage relationship simply on sex urge, not on the religious principle. That we have seen. And sūtram, vipratve sūtram eva hi. And if anyone, somehow or other, gathers a sacred thread—not sacred, even not sacred; thread—he becomes a vipra. Liṅgam eva āśrama-khyātāv anyonya āpatti-kāraṇam, avṛttyā nyāya-daurbhalyam.

Lecture on Gurvastakam at Upsala University -- Stockholm, September 9, 1973:

It is not possible. In the history, especially in European history, there were so many wars—Carthagian War, Greece War, Roman War, Seven Years' War between France and England, and Hundred Years' War..., so..., so far we have read in the history. And the war feeling is going on, not only between nation and nation, between man to man, neighbor to neighbor—even between husband and wife, father and son, this war is going on. This is called dāvānala, forest fire. Forest fire means in the forest nobody goes to set fire, but automatically, by the clash, friction of the dried bamboo, there is electricity and it catches fire. Similarly, although we do not want unhappiness, still, by our dealings we create enemies and friends, and there is fight, there is war. This will continue. This is called saṁsāra-dāvānala. Try to understand.

So guru means spiritual master means who can deliver one from this forest fire. Just like when there is forest fire, the animals are very much disturbed, and they die mostly. The snakes, they die immediately.

Lecture on Gurvastakam at Upsala University -- Stockholm, September 9, 1973:

Mādhava. Jaya jaya Rādhā-Mādhava. We worship not Kṛṣṇa alone—with His eternal consort, Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī. So there is eternal love between Rādhārāṇī and Kṛṣṇa. Therefore in the Vedānta-sūtra, it is said, janmādy asya yataḥ (SB 1.1.1). This Absolute Truth means wherefrom everything comes, emanates. Just like here we find love between mother and son, love between wife and husband, love between master and servant, love between friends and friends, love between master and the dog or the cat or the cow. Same thing. These are only reflection of the spiritual world. The same thing is there. Kṛṣṇa is also good lover of the animals, calves and cows. As we love here dogs and cats, Kṛṣṇa loves there cows and calves. You have seen the picture of Kṛṣṇa. So the propensity to love even an animal is there. Otherwise how it can be reflected here? This is simply shadow reflection. If, in the reality, there is nothing like that, then how it can be reflected here? So everything is there. Therefore, that mellow, to understand, you have to practice.

Lecture at World Health Organization -- Geneva, June 6, 1974:

That is tapasya. The brahmacārī is also trained up for austerity and penances. That is brahmacārī. The gṛhastha also... Because from brahmacārī life, they go to gṛhastha life, they are trained up in tapasya. Then again, at the age of fiftieth year, they give up the family life, they take vānaprastha. Only the husband and wife go out of home and travels all over the holy places. Then, when one is little trained up, he sends back his wife to the care of his grown-up children, and he takes sannyāsa. This is varṇāśrama-dharma. The so-called Hindu dharma, that is a gift of the Muhammadans. We don't find the word "Hindu" in any Vedic scripture. This "Hindu" word has come from the Muhammadan countries. They used to say the people of this part of the world, means, across the river Indus, they call "Hindas" or "Hindus." So actually, Hindu not..., that is not Hindu dharma. Our... From the Vedic literature, we understand the varṇāśrama-dharma, varṇāśrama: four varṇas and four āśramas. Varnāśramacaravata. In the Viṣṇu-Purāṇa, you'll find this word.

Philosophy Discussions

Philosophy Discussion on Sigmund Freud:

Śyāmasundara: Perhaps his one contribution was that he said that behavior must be understood in terms of a person's whole life history, in the total...

Prabhupāda: That is why in our Vedic system it is forbidden that even a small child, before that small child, the husband and wife should not joking. They should not talk jokingly.

Śyāmasundara: To the child?

Prabhupāda: Before the child.

Śyāmasundara: Before the child.

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Devotee: To each other.

Prabhupāda: Yes. It is not that "It is a small child. They will not understand." But they can understand. So what to speak of having sex intercourse before the child? They will learn it. I've seen it. They do not know what is sex intercourse, but they have learned it from their rascal father and mother.