Go to Vanipedia | Go to Vanisource | Go to Vanimedia


Vaniquotes - the compiled essence of Vedic knowledge


Husband and wife (Conversations)

Conversations and Morning Walks

1968 Conversations and Morning Walks

Interview -- February 1, 1968, Los Angeles:

Prabhupāda: Yes. I am an ordained minister for preaching these missionary activities. So I came here in September, 1965. Then, for one year, I was traveling in many parts of your country. In the beginning I was in Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, and then I went to Philadelphia. Then I came to New York. And in this way I was traveling, not very much. And in 1966, in July 1st, I started my class in New York at 26 Second Avenue. That is my first starting. Then the younger generation began to come to me, and they started the San Francisco branch, Montreal branch. In this way the institution is going. And we have sent our students to Europe also. They have already started one branch in London, one in Hamburg. And we have sent our students in Honolulu. They have started a branch there. So our program is to start several..., as many branches as possible to spread this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement. And it is very easy. We simply invite persons to come and chant with us. It doesn't matter what he is, what is his language, what is his religion. We don't take into account all these things. And this Hare Kṛṣṇa is so easy to utter, that any man can utter. That we have experienced. Any part of the world, we chant Hare Kṛṣṇa, and they can very easily imitate and chant. Even child, they also. So by chanting, he gradually becomes Kṛṣṇa conscious. His heart becomes cleansed and he can understand what is science of Kṛṣṇa, what is science of God. Then he automatically offers himself for initiation. Then we initiate him and guide him in different ways. But our students are strictly forbidden to have illicit sex life or meat-eating or intoxication or gambling. These four things are strictly forbidden for our students. And they take it seriously. We get our... In your country boys and girls, they live as friend. I don't allow that. If there is such friendship, I immediately ask them, if they become my student, I immediately ask them to be married. And this experiment has proved very successful. I got these young boys and girls married, and they are very happily living, and husband and wife, they are preaching.

Press Interview -- December 30, 1968, Los Angeles:

Journalist: Is there much divorce in India?

Prabhupāda: Yes. The modern, so-called advanced boys and girls, they are now after divorce. But before that, even there was misunderstanding between husband and wife, quarrel, there was no question of divorce. Take my life practical. I was a householder. Now I have given up. So practically I did not agree with my wife, but there was no dream of divorcing. You see? Neither she dreamt, neither I dreamt. This was unknown. Now they are being introduced.

Journalist: Yeah. Western culture.

Prabhupāda: Ah, yes.

Press Interview -- December 30, 1968, Los Angeles:

Prabhupāda: First of all, a boy is trained as brahmacārī, spiritual life. Then he is advised not to enter family life. But if he is unable to control his sex life, he is allowed, "All right. You get yourself married." Then he remains in family life. So he marries at the age of 24 or 25. 25 years, let him enjoy sex life. In the meantime, he gets some elderly children. So at the age of 50, the husband and wife goes away from the home and they travel in all places of pilgrimage just to detach them from family affection. In this way, when the man is a little more advanced, he asks his wife that "You go and take care of the family and your sons, grown-up, they'll take care of you. Let me take sannyāsa." So he becomes alone and preaches the knowledge which he has acquired. This is Vedic civilization. Not that a man should remain in family life from birth to death. No. In Buddhism also there is compulsory regulative principle that a Buddhist must become a sannyāsī at least for ten years. Yes. Because the whole idea is how to attain spiritual perfection.

1969 Conversations and Morning Walks

Room Conversation -- April 11, 1969, New York:

Prabhupāda: But that frustration has no disappointment. (laughter) That is the beauty. Just like Lord Caitanya is manifesting that spiritual frustration. "Oh Kṛṣṇa, I could not see You." He's jumping on the sea in frustration. But that frustration is the highest perfection of love. Yes. Everything is there. But without inebriety. You are very intelligent boy. I thank you. Yes. Yes. There is frustration, but not this frustration. Yes. That frustration, I mean to say, enriches one's eagerness of love for Kṛṣṇa. Everything is there, but without inebriety. Everything is there. Yes. Now see, Viṣṇu? Of course, in Vaikuṇṭha-jagat there is no violence. But Viṣṇu is taking the symbol of violence. Otherwise what is the meaning of this disc and club? So when He wants to be violent, He comes here as Nṛsiṁha-mūrti. (laughter) And He sends some of His devotees to play violence. That is Hiraṇyakaśipu. Because there the devotees are so much in accord with Kṛṣṇa and Viṣṇu that there is no question of disagreement. But violence is when this disagree-ment, atheist. Therefore sometimes a devotee is deputed in this world to play as atheist, and Kṛṣṇa comes to kill him. To teach these people that "If you become atheist, then here is disc and club for you." But it is not possible to be displayed in the Vaikuṇṭha. Otherwise, if there is no the propensity of violence... Just like there is sometimes mock fight. A father is fighting in mock with a small child, and he has become defeated. But there is pleasure. So ānandamayo 'bhyāsāt (Vedānta-sūtra 1.1.12). The Lord is joyful. So there is joy in fighting also sometimes. So your question that everything is there, that is a fact. Everything is there. Otherwise if everything is not there, they cannot be manifested here because it is reflection. Just like in... Of course, this discovery is by the Vaiṣṇava, Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇava. Just like the love between Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, it is called parakiya. They are not married husband and wife.

Room Conversation -- April 12, 1969, New York:

Prabhupāda: Yes. "She'll go later on. She'll go." So he went back. The father used to..., went back. In this way, several times. Then it was agreed that the girl would go there, father's house, and the father took the girl in the morning, and in the evening Tulasī dāsa went there. (laughs) His wife chastised, "You are so rascal fool that I have come this morning and you have, evening you are here? You have so much attachment for the skin?" Just like husband and wife talking. That struck him very badly, and he immediately left that place and went to... Left home for good. Yes. And that was the initiation that he took up writing about Rāma. That is Tulasī dāsa's life. Just being, I mean to say, hurt by the words of wife, that "I love her,"... Later on he understood, "Yes, she is right. So why should I be so much attached?" She uttered this (indistinct), "If you have got so much attachment for this skin and bone; if you had so much attachment for Rāma then your life would have been different." So he took it seriously. "Why not attachment for Rāma?"

Room Conversation -- April 27, 1969, Boston:

Prabhupāda: Oh. Some devotees are coming. And in Honolulu, two boys, they are also doing. In Hawaii there are two branches now. Yes. One at Honolulu, one at Kauai. Kauai. That island's name is Oahu. Hawaii has five islands' stretch, and this is called Oahu. Oahu island, one side, Honolulu, and one side... This island means hill. And the valley of the hills are utilized for residential purposes. So all sides, Pacific Ocean. And there is ample production of sugar cane and pineapple. I was chewing sugar cane as it is. Yes. And there is so many coconut trees, palm trees, and mango. In mango season they throw away mangos. So I have asked Govinda dāsī that "You make mango pulp and dry it and send it." So they are doing nice, husband and wife, Gaurasundara, yes, trying their best. I do not know whether they are working now.

1970 Conversations and Morning Walks

Room Conversation -- December 12, 1970, Indore:

Prabhupāda: That I know. You are qualified, educated boy. You can do it. But one thing I can do, that you can live with your family just like they are living. That I can arrange. And whatever food we can provide you have to accept. We can... We can arrange for the education of your children also, everything. But we cannot pay anything. That is not possible. We can take charge of the husband and wife. We can take charge of your children. But it is not possible to pay. And besides that, when there is question of payment the service is not good because the payment means he is serving the money. He is not serving the cause. (tape of kīrtana plays for a second)

Guest (4): His old mother listens to these chantings. (break)

Prabhupāda: No, no, he has appeared to establish dharma. So what is the dharma according...

Room Conversation -- December 13, 1970, Indore:

Prabhupāda: Effect, of course, it requires both the things. One must be very eager to take it. Just like Mahārāja Parīkṣit heard Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, and there are so many others. They are also reading Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. So Mahārāja Parīkṣit was very serious. So both things should be serious. Just like the example: the husband and wife must be potent; then there is pregnancy. Otherwise there is no pregnancy. So sewing the seed, the field also must be fertile or receptive, then the seed will fructify. It is reciprocal.

Revatīnandana: If the seed starts to sprout and it lacks sufficient facilities, then it will die completely.

Prabhupāda: Yes. Yes.

1971 Conversations and Morning Walks

Conversation with Prof. Kotovsky -- June 22, 1971, Moscow:

Prabhupāda: No, they have now made changes. Just like our late Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru. He made some Hindu code. He introduced in that Hindu code the right of divorcing husband and wife. But these were not in Manu-saṁhitā. And, of course, they are changing. If you like, you can change. But the social order also not exactly the same as it was before.

Prof. Kotovsky: Oh, yes.

Prabhupāda: And so many things. So they're changing. But before this modern age the whole Hindu society was being governed by Manu-smṛti. Manu-smṛti, yeah.

Prof. Kotovsky: In all periods in India...

Prabhupāda: Manu-smṛti. Now they are changing so many. They... Strictly speaking, the modern Hindus, they are not strictly according to the Hindu scripture.

Prof. Kotovsky: Oh, yes.

Room Conversation with Dr. Karan Singh, -- November 25, 1971, Delhi:

Prabhupāda: That's all right. It was recorded. That fighting is going on even in the family. We see between husband and wife also there is sometimes fighting. That is not taken into account. But the major wars in the history of the world... Because India, or Bhāratavarṣa, means the whole world. Now it is cut into pieces. Just like twenty years ago, Pakistan is cut. This planet is called Bhāratavarṣa. Formerly it was known as Ilāvṛtavarṣa. Later on, after the ruling of Mahārāja Bharata... You know Mahārāja Bharata. After his name, this planet is called Bhāratavarṣa. And up to the Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira, there was one ruling all over the world. One king in this (indistinct). Then gradually... Why? The culture was lost. The Vedic culture was lost. Up to Mahārāja Parīkṣit, the Vedic culture was kept intact. Just like Mahārāja Parīkṣit, while he was going on tour of the Western countries, he saw one black man was trying to kill one cow. He immediately took his sword, ""Who are you? You are killing cow in my kingdom?" So that culture we have lost. Immediately he began, "With this sword I shall kill you."

1972 Conversations and Morning Walks

Talk with Bob Cohen -- February 27-29, 1972, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: No, no. There are so many marriages. He is married. Marriage is no barrier. I told you, there are four different orders of social life: brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, and sannyāsa. So after brahmacārī, one can marry. But that is not obligatory. He may remain naiṣṭhika-brahmacārī for whole life. But a brahmacārī can marry. So after marriage there is vānaprastha life. Means little aloof from family. Live—husband and wife—separately. That time there is no sex life. And then, when he's fully renounced, detached from the family life, he takes sannyāsa.

Bob: Does somebody forget his wife completely then?

Prabhupāda: Yes. Forgetting is not very difficult if you try to forget. That's all. Out of sight, out of mind. (laughter) Just like I have got my wife, children, my grandchildren, everything. But out of sight, out of mind. That's all. Therefore vānaprastha, sannyāsa. Everything is nicely arranged by the Vedic system. (break)

Prabhupāda: You are feeling warm?

Bob: Just tight.

Prabhupāda: Too tight.

Room Conversation with Maharishi Impersonalists -- April 7, 1972, Melbourne:

Prabhupāda: Because it is the thing required. Therefore it is recommended in the śāstra. Because it is recommended that... What is recommended in the śāstra, spoken in the śāstra, that is perfect. There is no mistake. Therefore it is being accepted. Anywhere we are going, beginning from old man to child, everyone chants Hare Kṛṣṇa. Therefore it is recommended. Our intelligence should be applied there, that what is recommended in the Vedas, that is perfect. There are so many instances. Just like cow dung. You know cow dung? Stool of the cow? So according to Vedic principle, if you touch stool of an animal you become impure. Even my stool, I pass in the WC, and immediately I wash and become purified. Oh, this is my stool, personal, and what to speak of other stool? So stool is impure. But the Vedas say that the stool of cow is pure. So if you argue that "Cow is an animal. So animal stool is impure. How the cow stool can become pure?" that is puzzling, but because it is said by the..., ordered by the Vedas, it is fact. You analyze cow stool; you find all antiseptic matter. So therefore we accept the Vedic injunction as truth. We haven't got to make research. We save time. So according to Vedic civilization, whatever is stated in the Vedas, we take it-fact. That's all. Śruti. Śruti-pramāṇam. Śruti means Vedas. Pramāṇam means evidence. According to Indian system... There are two persons talking, arguing, but the person who can give Vedic evidence, he is victorious. That's all. That is the system. Just like in law court two lawyers are fighting, but the lawyer who is giving evidences from the lawbook, he is accepted by the judge. And therefore, generally you will find, whenever we speak something, we give evidence from the śāstra in Sanskrit, in all our books. That is the way of proving that whatever I am speaking, it is fact. In the Bhāgavata it is already stated, lavaṇyaṁ keśa-dharaṇam. Keśa means hair. To keep long, long hair will be the practice of people because they will think by keeping long hair they look very beautiful. That is stated in Bhāgavata. Five thousand years this prediction is there: "In this Kali-yuga people will keep long hair, and..., because that will be appreciated, that a man keeping long hair is very beautiful." So that is happening. Just see. Five thousand years ago, that was written, and that is happening. There are so many things. That is called śāstra. It is truth for all the days—past, present, future. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi. These things are stated. "Husband and wife will keep together so long their sex power is strong.

Room Conversation -- July 5, 1972, London:

Prabhupāda: Her father was one the richest men in Bombay, and her husband, her father-in-law also one of the richest men. There're coming from very rich family in Bombay. And she's so intelligent that Scindia Steam Navigation Company, very big company. It is a semi-government, and she's the managing director. All the big, big officers respecting as mother, carries out her order. And she's great devotee of Kṛṣṇa, but she does not take leave with her husband (laughter). Hm? The husband and wife, not very agreement. Yes.

Devotee: Her husband is alive?

Prabhupāda: Yes. They live separate building. That mean, that they live separate building, separate (indistinct), she looks one department of business, and he looks another department. That child, adopted. She has no, own child.

1973 Conversations and Morning Walks

Room Conversation with Indian Guests -- July 11, 1973, London:

Guest (3): Swamiji, tomorrow is Gaura-pūrṇimā. And a friend of mine, his father, or his mother died on Ekādaśī day. Husband and wife were, they had been fasting Ekādaśī doing Satya-nārāyaṇa-kathā. So now father, he is very lonely, and he said, "I have got no guru." Then I told him about you. So he immediately grabbed the idea. He wants to come tomorrow, in the morning to have your blessings. But then is it possible that he could have the initiation?

Prabhupāda: Well, let him come. First of all let him understand...

Guest (3): That man already comes. But tomorrow is Gaura-pūrṇimā. That's why I thought if tomorrow...

Guest (8): If he deserves it.

Prabhupāda: So let him come tomorrow. We shall see.

Room Conversation with Indian Guests -- July 11, 1973, London:

Prabhupāda: No, this kind of family life is very suitable. This is wanted. All the wife... His wife is very nice girl. And she is good devotee. So if wife is favorable, then everything is favorable. Household life means cooperation with wife. Na gṛhaṁ gṛham ity āhur gṛhiṇī gṛham ucyate. Just like we are also living within a room, gṛha. But we are sannyāsī. What is the difference between gṛhastha and sannyāsī? He lives with his wife. Gṛhiṇī gṛham ity āhuḥ. Gṛhiṇī means "the wife is gṛha." So if the wife is favorable, devotee, then there is no use of giving up family life. That's all. We have got so many married couples. Just like this boy. He's married. His wife is there. They are favorable. Both husband and wife, they have dedicated life for Kṛṣṇa. So it is very nice. It is not that he has to become sannyāsī. No. Why? There is no necessity. Gṛhe vā vanete thāko. Either you become sannyāsī or gṛhastha, the life must be dedicated for Kṛṣṇa. That's all. That is required. And for Kṛṣṇa's sake, if we have to give up something, is that very difficult job? If Kṛṣṇa wants that "You give up this habit,"... Just like Kṛṣṇa says... If you become devotee of Kṛṣṇa... Now, Kṛṣṇa says, patraṁ puṣpaṁ phalaṁ toyaṁ yo me bhaktyā prayacchati (BG 9.26).

Room Conversation with Two Buddhist Monks -- July 12, 1973, London:

Prabhupāda: We cannot understand God by our present senses. So the senses are to be purified. And that purification begins: sevonmukha, by engaging the tongue, jihvādau, in the delightful activities of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. So practically we are getting result. These boys, they were very morose, but now they are very delightful simply by following this method, engaging the tongue in the service of Kṛṣṇa. Tongue has got two business: tasting and chanting, vibrating. So they are vibrating harer nāma harer nāma harer nāma eva kevalam (CC Adi 17.21), and tasting Kṛṣṇa prasādam. And we are practically seeing that they are becoming delightful, living very happily, preaching all over the world. I started this movement alone in 1966, but these boys, inexperienced boys, having no spiritual training... They were trained up in their own ways, meat-eating, illicit sex, intoxication, but they gave up all these habits and delightfully they are going any part of the world and preaching this cult, and we are meeting with success. It is not that I have gone every place. It is not possible. I am old man. So I give them direction. Just like this boy. He's a gṛhastha. So husband and wife, they are organizing in Germany. We have got four, five branches in Germany. We have published this record and so many books and literatures. So this Saṅkīrtana Movement, even though conducted by inexperienced young men, but they are creating delight to the masses.

Guest (1) (Indian man): But they are very... I am very envious of them.

1974 Conversations and Morning Walks

Morning Walk -- March 4, 1974, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Oh, all right. (break) ...pūjyante dhanya yatra sucancitam (?), "Where a rascal is not worshiped, where foodstuff is kept very carefully," and dam-patyoḥ kalaha nāsti, "and when there is no fight between husband and wife, or family-wise," tatra śrīḥ svayam āgataḥ, "there goddess of fortune is always present." Hare Kṛṣṇa. This is the principle given by Cāṇakya Paṇḍita, the greatest politician and moralist. Mūrkha means who is not pure devotee of Kṛṣṇa. He's a mūrkha or mūḍha. Not that ABCD learned. ABCD learned is no use. And another śloka, Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says who is learned man. Mātṛvat para-dāreṣu: "One who does not think of any illicit sex life." Mātṛvat... Every woman-mother. Except his married wife, every woman is mother. Mātṛvat para-dāreṣu para-loṣṭravat "And others' money, just like garbage." Nobody touches. Mātṛvat para-dāreṣu para-dravyeṣu loṣṭravat, and ātmavat sarva-bhūteṣu: "And one who sees like himself all other living entities, he's paṇḍita, he's learned." Not by MA, Ph.D. Hare Kṛṣṇa. (break) ...yaḥ paśyati. Samaḥ sarveṣu bhūteṣu. (break) ...nihāram iva bhā... It is called nihāra. As long, as soon as the sun becomes strong, immediately, everything finished. Just see. This... What is called fog, or...?

Morning Walk -- March 25, 1974, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: No. It was in London. Deity installation.

Dr. Patel: He did it very well, the man who edited the film.

Prabhupāda: Oh, that Yaduvara. He is very good. Where is Yaduvara? He is here? No. His wife. Yes. She's also... Viśākhā. They are, husband and wife, both of them, very expert, photography.

Dr. Patel: I may now solicit one to the, to the māyā, that (Hindi) of the working this.

Prabhupāda: What is that? That is not māyā. (break?)

Dr. Patel: We are talking on that. Why don't they start it here?

Prabhupāda: No, no. Where are men?

Dr. Patel: I can get the men. Will you? No, just... (break)

Morning Walk -- March 27, 1974, Bombay:

Guest (1): Tulasī dāsa, also, the same thing happened. No? Everywhere...

Dr. Patel: I was attached to my wife. And I used to quarrel every day.

Prabhupāda: Quarreling between husband and wife, that is natural. That is explained in the Cāṇakya Paṇḍita... Dam-patye kalahe caiva bambhārambhe laghu kriyā (?). The quarreling will be very humbug, big, but the result will be nothing.

Dr. Patel: Nothing. These American boys, they quarrel with their wives. The next day...

Prabhupāda: Because there is no...

Guest (1): They will immediately quarrel.

Dr. Patel: No, no, no. Here, because the Hindu... (break)

Morning Walk -- March 27, 1974, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Although we fought, but there was no such thing. (break) Fighting is natural. This is fight of love. This is not fight... Therefore Cāṇakya Paṇḍita has said, "Neglect this fighting. Don't take it seriously." Dam-patye kalahe bambhārambhe laghu kriyā (?). This should not be... Quarrel between husband and wife should not be taken seriously. Let them fight. It will stop automatically. That's all.

Dr. Patel: He said, now we have... (break)

Prabhupāda: ...wasting time in social... Yes.

Dr. Patel: In wasting time in grāmya-kathā.

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Dr. Patel: Grāmya-vārttā.

Morning Walk -- April 4, 1974, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Yes, they cannot. Why they cannot? Adānta-gobhir viśatāṁ tamiśram (SB 7.5.30). This gṛha-vrata means their sense enjoyment. This gṛhastha life is a concession for sense gratification, license. Actually, it is not required. Sex life is not required. But those who cannot avoid the sex life, they are given some license, "All right, you enjoy sex life, marry one woman, remain as faithful husband and wife." So unless one determines that "This is not my life, gṛha-vrata..." Apaśyatām ātma-tattvaṁ gṛheṣu gṛha-medhinām (SB 2.1.2). In another place it is said also, by Sukadeva Gosvāmī, one who cannot understand what is his self-interest, apaśyatām ātma-tattvam, actually what is needed, what is the need of the soul, gṛheṣu gṛha-medhinām... The gṛha-vrata and gṛhamedhi, these two words are for persons who are too much attached to this worldly life. So this determination already is there, that "Kṛṣṇa is the original cause of everything." Iti matvā bhajante mām. One who understands this perfectly well, he can be engaged in the matter of rendering service to Kṛṣṇa. Otherwise it is very difficult.

Morning Walk -- April 10, 1974, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Ah, that is the beginning of saṁskāra. There is regular ceremony.

Indian man (5): But a very few people nowadays...

Prabhupāda: Still in Bengal, when the husband meets first the wife, there is saṁskāra. There is regular pūjā, patha. Then the husband and wife meet together. We had the same saṁskāra in our family. It was going on. When we were young man, it was going on.

Indian man (4): Semen ceremony.

Indian man (6): Semen means before the birth.

Indian man (5): After pregnancy, eight or nine months, something like that.

Prabhupāda: That is ṣaḍ-lakṣana. That is another thing. Before sex, there is a ceremony. That is called garbhādhāna. (break)

Morning Walk -- April 12, 1974, Bombay:

Indian man (1): Bhakti is in the mind, in the heart.

Prabhupāda: No, not in the mind. No, no. Bhakti is in the heart, but there must be... Just like if you have got love for me in the heart, it must be demonstrated. Just like a husband and wife. The wife is says, "Now we are married and I have got love for you. Let me remain here. You go to your home." The bridegroom comes, "Now we are married and I love you, you love me. You go home, I remain here." Is that very good proposal?

Indian man (1): No, but this...

Prabhupāda: This is nonsense. (laughing) "I have got bhakti, but I don't do anything for You. You go home." So that is not bhakti. Bhakti must be exhibited by activity. That is the definition of bhakti. Śravaṇam kīrtanaṁ viṣṇoḥ smaraṇaṁ pāda-sevanam (SB 7.5.23). So these are the nine different ways of expressing bhakti. First thing is śravaṇam. Śravaṇam. Śravaṇam kīrtanaṁ, chanting and hearing. Of whom? Of Viṣṇu. Śravaṇam kīrtanaṁ viṣṇoḥ. Not of any other one. The Māyāvādī philosophers, they say that "We can chant anyone's name, either I chant of any demigod's name or any name."

Morning Walk -- April 12, 1974, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: To accept guru, in the paramparā system... All the gurus in the paramparā system... Evaṁ paramparā prāptam (BG 4.2). Nara-matiḥ, consider him as ordinary human being... In this way there is a list. Vaiṣṇave jāti-buddhiḥ. A Vaiṣṇava, a devotee: "He is brāhmaṇa Vaiṣṇava. He is American Vaiṣṇava. He is śūdra Vaiṣṇava." No. When one is Vaiṣṇava, there should be no distinction by the caste. Vaiṣṇave jāti-buddhiḥ. In this way there is a list that should be avoided. So these things required. If actually... The same thing, that if a girl is married to the husband, she must be always engaged in the service of the husband. That will be appreciated. If she says, "Sir, now we are married. You go home and I remain at home," there will be no prayojana-siddhi. The real purpose of marriage is to get children. Putrārthe kriyate bhāryā. So if the husband and wife simply love within the mind and there is no action, there is no prayojana-siddhi. We should be practical, not simply theoretical. So love between two persons, there must be exchange of loving feelings.

Morning Walk -- April 12, 1974, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: It is very important verse. Śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ viṣṇoḥ (SB 7.5.23). When one has heard, when one has properly chanted, he has little experience of the transcendental form of the Lord, then his service beginning. Just like I engage one servant. So gradually he is given service. "First of all this, first of all that, then..." Again and again, again, again. The same example can be given, that the husband and wife. Formerly, when I was married, my wife was eleven years old. So (laughing) an eleven years old girl and I was at the same time twenty-one, twenty-two. One day I captured her hand. She began to cry. A little girl, you see? So gradually, gradually. I know... When my brother-in-law, sister's husband, used to come... In the beginning, the girls were very... My sisters were same age. So they would meet the husband, offering a little pan or little sandeśa. (break) ...after this. Then niṣṭhā. Then he has got a firm conviction that "Kṛṣṇa is the Supreme Personality of Godhead and my duty is to serve Kṛṣṇa." That is called niṣṭhā. Then ruci. Then he increases taste.

Room Conversation with Christian Priest -- June 9, 1974, Paris:

Prabhupāda: So relation means two person—one master, one servant. Then relation, friendly relation, that is also person. Then relation, father and son, that is also relation. Then husband and wife, that is also relation. So relation cannot be used without person.

Priest: Yeah, but what we don't... We don't say that God is object of relation but He is the relation itself.

Prabhupāda: What is that, relation itself? Explain.

Priest: It's when you are two together, when the master...

Prabhupāda: Then two together means person. As soon as you...

Priest: Yes, but not God. God is beyond relation.

Prabhupāda: Why? Your experience of relation, as soon as a relation two, the two persons.

Room Conversation with Christian Priest -- June 9, 1974, Paris:

Prabhupāda: No, no, God's relationship should be universal, not that... It may be a different relationship. Just like the relationship between husband and wife, relationship between father and son, relationship between friend and friend, relationship between master and servant, so these are relationship. We understand relationship means this. And it is particularly said in the Bible, "O Father." That means the relationship is as between father and son. So there is...

Priest: No.

Prabhupāda: You say no, but any man will understand that. You may have your own opinion, that is a different thing.

Priest: But we have to have the opinion which we experience.

Room Conversation with Christian Priest -- June 9, 1974, Paris:

Prabhupāda: What is that experience? You ask, "Father, give us our daily bread," and that is experience. God is giving everyone maintenance. That is our actual relationship. In the Vedas also it is said, nityo nityānāṁ cetanaś cetanānām eko yo bahūnāṁ vidadhāti kāmān (Kaṭha Upaniṣad 2.2.13). That is the God. God is also a person as you are person, I am person, but He is the chief person. Nityo nityānām, the chief, the Supreme. In the dictionary it is said Supreme Being. We are all beings, and He is Supreme Being. How He is supreme? Eka, that one; God is one. Bahūnāṁ vidadhāti kāmān. He supplies the necessities of everyone's life. That is very good experience, we are getting everything from God. And the Christians also pray, "Give us our daily bread." So I don't find any difference between the statement in the Vedas and the Bible. God is the Supreme Person, and you make relationship with Him any way—as master and servant, as friend and friend, as father and son, or as husband and wife. So somehow or other we are related with God, this way or that way. The husband also maintains the wife.

Room Conversations -- September 11, 1974, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: (indistinct) So Akbar (indistinct) asked Birbal, "What is your idea of sex life? How long it continues?" He answered, "Up to the point of death." "No, no. I don't believe it." "All right." So one day all of a sudden Birbal came to Akbar (indistinct) house, "Sir, you have to go with me immediately with your youngest daughter." So Akbar (indistinct)'s daughter, king's daughter, very (indistinct). So the father and the daughter and Birbal went to see one dying man. The man was dying, and he asked, Birbal (indistinct) that "You simply see his face." So when he was entering, that man was looking to that young girl, not the Akbar (indistinct). He was looking over that young girl. Both of them were intelligent. Then Akbar (indistinct) said, "Yes." And our śāstra says yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). What is the happiness of the gṛhastha life? Gṛhastha is different, gṛhamedhi. There are two words. Gṛhastha means living husband and wife together, but the aim is Kṛṣṇa consciousness. And gṛhamedhi means he has no Kṛṣṇa consciousness; therefore his life is sex. That is the difference.

1975 Conversations and Morning Walks

Morning Walk -- May 14, 1975, Perth:

Prabhupāda: Yes, that is fourth class. This is the proof. Fourth-class men administering... Just like misadministration not immediately detected. After some time, when the case is unmanageable, it is detected. Therefore fourth-class men. Simply these Western people, they know how to earn money by hook and crook. So, so long the money is there it is covered, the fourth-class men. And when the money is finished, they are exposed, fourth-class men. They're simply covered by money. No social structure, no spiritual understanding, no character, nothing of the sort. Still India, so fallen, you... 95% people, living, husband and wife, very peacefully. And in the Western countries after six months' marriage, divorce. Are they not fourth class? Even the husband and wife cannot continue peaceful life, what to speak of others. Now this rascal Jawaharlal Nehru has introduced divorce in the Hindu society. Otherwise in the Hindu society separation between husband and wife is not even dreamt of.

Morning Walk -- May 14, 1975, Perth:

That, it cannot be. However there may be quarrelsome, but there is no question of separation. Husband and wife, they fight, everywhere. I have seen. My father and mother was fighting. I fought. (laughter) But there is no question of separation. Separation, they never think. Neither the husband can think of, nor the wife can think of. Even in the life of Gandhi there was fight between husband and wife, and the Gandhi one day drove his wife, "Get out from my home." So she was put into the street, and she began to cry, "Where shall I go?" And then Gandhi ans..., "Come on." Yes. And Cāṇakya Paṇḍita said, bambhārambhe laghu-kriyā. The husband and wife may fight. It becomes a very serious thing, but don't take of it as serious. This is Hindu philosophy. Husband and wife quarrel should not be taken as very serious. They fight and again they live peacefully. Why this divorce? The divorce mean it kills the whole family life. The children goes away; the father goes away; the mother goes away. I have seen so many cases.

Room Conversation with Jesuit -- May 19, 1975, Melbourne:

Prabhupāda: No, dharmāviruddha. Just you can have sex for begetting nice children but not for sense gratification.

Jesuit: Also for increasing the love between husband and wife.

Prabhupāda: Mm?

Jesuit: Even though they can't have children.

Prabhupāda: No, they can have children.

Jesuit: Suppose they can't.

Prabhupāda: They can, if they can beget nice children, they can have sex.

Jesuit: But suppose they can't have children. Would you say they can still have sex.

Prabhupāda: No. That is not allowed.

Jesuit: That is where I think...

Room Conversation with Director of Research of the Dept. of Social Welfare -- May 21, 1975, Melbourne:

Prabhupāda: That is very dangerous law to allow divorce. Divorce should not be allowed. Even there is some disagreement between husband and wife, it should be neglected. According to Cāṇakya Paṇḍita... He was great politician. He has said that dampatya kalahe caiva bahvārambhe laghu kriyā. The husband and wife's quarrel should not be taken very seriously. Ajā yuddhe (More quote by Cāṇakya) Just like fight between two goats. They are fighting, and if you say "Hut!" they will go away. Similarly, the fight between husband and wife should not be taken very seriously. Let them fight for some time; they will stop automatically. But the husband and wife fight, and he, as soon as he goes to the lawyer and he gives incentive, "Yes, come to the court." This is going on. So the first defect is there is divorce law. Another defect is that there is no method how to train a man to become first class. That is there in the Vedic civilization. Now of course in India that is also now abolished by degradation.

Morning Walks -- June 18-19, 1975, Honolulu:

Prabhupāda: But they do not know that where is the defect. Defect is that everyone has got some attraction. Somebody has attraction for his personal self. Somebody has got attraction for wife, children, family, then attraction for society. In this way they talk of many things. They have come to attraction of humanity. They are all nonsense. The attraction is for sense gratification under different names only. My attraction for family is not for their benefit. By my sense gratification the family members help me, therefore I am attracted. The wife gives me pleasure; therefore I like wife. The wife also likes husband because husband gives pleasure. Otherwise, there is no attraction. As soon as the husband and wife fails to give pleasure, divorce. The son goes out. The daughter goes out. So everyone is prone to some attraction. So if you keep them in the material attraction, then you can change the name; the disease will continue.

Room Conversation with the Mayor of Evanston -- July 4, 1975, Chicago:

Prabhupāda: How they can be? They are not trained up. They are not trained up from the very beginning. For being trained up, there is another four divisions, brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsa. These are the training divisions. So for the first-class, second-class, third-class, all the students, they are trained up as brahmacārī, student life. Brahmacārī means celibacy, live under the direction of the teacher and accept all kinds of hardship under the teacher's or spiritual master direction. Children, they can easily take it. If a child, a small child, I ask him, "My dear child, you take my shoes and keep it there," he will immediately agree. He has no sense, "Oh, he is asking me to take his shoes." He will immediately agree. Even he is very rich man's son. So this life is advised that a student live just like a menial servant of the teacher or the spiritual master. And they agree. We have got good instances. And he is coming from the first-class family, brāhmaṇa family or kṣatriya family or vaiśya family, first, second, third. So even śūdra family, he can learn also. So brahmacārī. Then he is, if he can remain without wife or without opposite sex, then he continues to remain as brahmacārī. He is encouraged. This process encourages to remain brahmacārī, that "Don't take to sex life, it is entailed with so many difficulties. Practice to remain a brahmacārī. You'll save so much trouble." But if he is unable—the teacher sees-Then he is allowed to marry, marriage. If he is trained up brahmacārī, when he marries, he lives with wife under rules and regulation, not like cats and dogs. And then, because he had previous training, at a certain age he gives up family life. That is called vānaprastha. Pañcaśordhvam vānam vrajet. The vānaprastha life is accepted, generally, after fiftieth year, not earlier. Then the husband and wife travels all over, I mean to say, spiritual sanctified places. In India there are so many places.

Room Conversation with Mr. & Mrs. Wax, Writer and Editing Manager of Playboy Magazine -- July 5, 1975, Chicago:

Prabhupāda: No, no, if you become first-class, and they will follow you. You remain last-class, and how you can train your first-class? (laughter) In the śāstra it is said, "Unless you can create first-class man, don't beget children." Pitā na sa syāj janani na sa syād gurur na sa syāt, na mocayed yaḥ samupeta-mṛtyum. It is the duty of the father to raise his children first-class. Otherwise he should not become a father. That is contraceptive. Just like Vasudeva and Devakī. Formerly they were Vasus and they were asked by Brahmā to create progeny. So the husband and wife, they practiced austerities very severely. So then God appeared before them: "What do you want?" And they said that "We can enter into family life provided You become our son." No, "If we get a son like you." Then God said, "Where is second person like Me? So I shall become your son." Then, in next life, Devakī got Kṛṣṇa as his child. So every father and mother should take this vow, that "Unless our children become first-class, we don't want children." This is ideal. What is the use of begetting cats and dogs? You must have first-class children.

Television Interview -- July 9, 1975, Chicago:

Woman reporter: But you say women are subordinate to men.

Prabhupāda: Yes, that is also natural. Because when the husband and wife are there or the father and daughter is there, so the daughter is subordinate to the father and the wife is subordinate to the husband.

Woman reporter: What happens when women are not subordinate to men?

Prabhupāda: Then there is disruption. There is disruption, social disruption. If the woman does not become subordinate to man, then there is social disruption. Therefore, in the western countries there are so many divorce cases because the woman does not agree to become subordinate to man. That is the cause.

Woman reporter: What advice do you have to women who do not want to be subordinate to men?

Prabhupāda: It is not my advice, but it is the advice of the Vedic knowledge that woman should be chaste and faithful to man.

Television Interview -- July 9, 1975, Chicago:

Prabhupāda: I am not trying. You are already not equal with the man because in so many respects, your functions are different and man's functions are different. Why do you say artificially they are equal? As I told you that the husband and wife—the wife has to become pregnant, not the husband. How you can change this, both the husband and wife will be pregnant? Is it possible? Is it possible?

Woman reporter: No, it is not.

Prabhupāda: Then by nature one has to function differently from the other.

Woman reporter: But why does this mean...?

Prabhupāda: So how you can change?

Woman reporter: Why does this mean that women have to be subordinate?

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Room Conversation after Press Conference -- July 9, 1975, Chicago:

Prabhupāda: She voluntarily became blind. And up to the last point of her husband's precarious condition, she remained with him. These are the examples. There are other examples. Damayanti. They became so poor that they had no clothing. So the one cloth divided into two, husband and wife. So these instances are in the Vedic literature, that wife remains always faithful and subservient to the husband. That is their perfection. Now the Americans may not like this idea. That is different thing. But we are speaking of the Vedic culture. And these are the instances, vivid instances. Why Sītā accompanied her husband? And because she accompanied her husband in the jungle, the war between Rāma Rāvaṇa became possible. And it is the advice that "When you go to other countries you should not take your wife." Pathe narī-vinārjitaḥ. Because it may create some trouble. But still, the faithful wife goes with the husband.

Room Conversation with writer, Sandy Nixon -- July 13, 1975, Philadelphia:

Prabhupāda: (laughs) This is all physiological. And we have seen, studied, that any big man of the world, behind that big man is either a strong mother or a strong wife. That is the general statistics. And Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says, mātā yasya gṛhe nāsti bharyā cāpriya-vādinī. If there is no mother at home and the wife is not very suitable, does not speak very nicely with husband, disrespectful, then he is recommended to leave home and go to the forest. Araṇyam tena gantavyaṁ yathāraṇyam tathā gṛham. Such person should immediately leave home and live in the forest because for him the forest and home is the same. Mātā yasya gṛhe nāsti bharyā cāpriya-vādinī. So women should be trained up to be very faithful and chaste. Then the life will be very happy. That is the only education for woman. And man should be educated how to become first-class man, a brāhmaṇa. Then the whole atmosphere will be very happy. The man, first-class man, brāhmaṇa, śamo damaḥ titikṣa, and woman, very faithful to such husband and chaste. Then the home is happy. And Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says another place, dampatyoḥ kalaho nāsti tatra śrīḥ svayam āgataḥ. "If there is no fight and disagreement between husband and wife, in that home the goddess of fortune automatically comes." They haven't got to search out where is goddess of fortune. She will come automatically. So that is now lacking. In most cases the husband and wife does not agree. And the other day I was reading in a paper that one woman in two weeks or three weeks...?

Morning Walk -- September 25, 1975, Ahmedabad:

Prabhupāda: This is argument. This is argument, that it is not fact. Let them... Women has agreed not to have sex with man. Then close all these maternity hospitals. That is the only happiness. Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukha hi tuccham. The husband and wife, they, I mean to say, mix together only for this, especially in this age. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi. They get married only for sex pleasure, not for any other purpose. Dāmpatye ratim eva hi. Otherwise the purpose is husband and wife together, they will worship Laksmi-Narayana and become perfect. That is the description given in Puṁsavana. You will get the statement there how the husband and wife is advised to worship Nārāyaṇa, Lakṣm-Nārāyaṇa. Therefore you will find in Hindu culture, every family, Lakṣm-Nārāyaṇa worship, the husband and wife. Still there are, there is some glimpse of human civilization in India. So we can revive it. In Bhogilal's house there is no dog.

Morning Walk -- November 2, 1975, Nairobi:

Prabhupāda: That is not love. When automatically you love one another, that is quality. Dora vede(?) prema. And therefore formerly, at least in the Indian society, at an early age they were married. There is no quality in that quality. But gradually, remaining together, the quality of love increases. Then the wife takes care of the husband, and the husband takes care. They become bound up, united in love. That is quality. In the beginning, what the child knows about love? No. But they are allowed to remain as husband and wife. They are thinking that "I have got my husband," "I have got my wife," and as the age increases, the dealings become intimate. Then they become affectionate. That is quality. Not in the beginning there is any quality. It is by the parents' arrangement. That's all. In our day, the marriage was performed when the girl is ten years, twelve years, nine years. Twelve years is very late marriage. My second sister, she became twelve years old. So my mother became so disturbed that "This girl is not being married. Shall I commit suicide?" Yes. You see?

Morning Walk -- November 2, 1975, Nairobi:

Prabhupāda: That's all. In our day, the marriage was performed when the girl is ten years, twelve years, nine years. Twelve years is very late marriage. My second sister, she became twelve years old. So my mother became so disturbed that "This girl is not being married. Shall I commit suicide?" Yes. You see? My eldest sister, she was nine years old, older than me, and she was married before my birth. And my mother-in-law was married at the age of seven years, and my father-in-law was eleven years. I was married... My wife was eleven years. So in this age there is no question of love. It is not that the husband and wife lives together, no. Unless the girl is grown up, she is not going to the husband. She remains with the father and mother. Sometimes they meet, and the wife is taught, giving some sweetmeat to the husband-official. Official. The parents of the girl: "Just go up to your husband and offer this." So she comes as obedient servant. But gradually they get the connection. In this way the love develops, and when they are fifteen, sixteen years old, they are allowed to live together. Because both of them have already developed that "She is my wife," "He is my husband," psychologically.

Morning Walk -- November 2, 1975, Nairobi:

Prabhupāda: Because both of them have already developed that "She is my wife," "He is my husband," psychologically. And there was no question of divorce. The love is so strong, they cannot dream even that "I have to leave my wife," "I have to leave my husband." They cannot dream it. They may fight. The husband and wife fighting, that is not unusual. Therefore Canakya Paṇḍita says, "Fight between the husband, wife, never take it seriously." Daṁpatye kalahe caiva baṁbhāraṁbhe laghu-kriya: "They'll make all arambha, but it is not very important. Don't take." Next moment they will again live peacefully. So according to Indian culture, there is no divorce. There is no question of divorce. Both the husband and wife, they cannot dream of divorce. The love was so strong. Even Gandhi's life, he fought with his wife and pushed her out of the house: "Get out, I don't want you." And Kasturabhai, she began to cry on the street, "Where shall I go? You have driven me away." Then Gandhi said, "Come on." Finished. (laughter) He has written in his life.

Morning Walk -- November 20, 1975, Bombay:

Dr. Patel: They keep on the thread for cavi, for keeping key there so it may not be lost.

Prabhupāda: And daṁpatye ratim eva hi: "Husband and wife means sex." Daṁpatye ratim eva hi. This, everything is there.

Dr. Patel: The ideals were established so high that it was difficult for the common folk to reach that.

Prabhupāda: That is not for common folk. It is for the rājarṣis-imaṁ rājarṣayo viduḥ—not for the loafer class. Therefore the whole population was trained how to become rājarṣi. Now the loafer class, they are taking the place of rājarṣi. That is the difficulty. Kṛṣṇa says that this science is meant for the rājarṣi. Imaṁ rājarṣayo viduḥ (BG 4.2). He did not go to preach to the loafer class.

Dr. Patel: That is why it became naṣṭa.

Morning Walk -- December 17, 1975, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: One thing is, we don't find any authoritative scripture that Mīrābai ever met Rūpa Gosvāmī, but they say like that in Vṛndāvana. But from the life of Rūpa Gosvāmī, we understand that the Gosvāmīs were so popular in Vṛndāvana that if there was any family quarrel, husband and wife, they used to come to Rūpa Gosvāmi to settle up, and automatically he would give the decision, and they would settle up. So how it is possible that he did not see any woman?

Dr. Patel: He did not, ah, Rūpa Gosvāmi or Jīva Gosvāmī, some other Gosvāmī, they say.

Girirāja: It was Jīva Gosvāmī.

Prabhupāda: Jīva Gosvāmī?

1976 Conversations and Morning Walks

Morning Walks -- January 22-23, 1976, Mayapura:

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Prabhupāda, there's another thing I noticed, that in the pictures very often of Ramakrishna and his mother, his wife, whichever one she is, they show...

Prabhupāda: No, they show that "This is husband and wife. Ramakrishna was so advanced that even his wife, he left her, considering, 'She is my mother.' By worshiping mother Kālī he has become so perfect that sees all women as mother." He does not require to become Bhagavān. Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says, mātṛvat para-dāreṣu. Para-dāreṣu, not your own wife. Huh? Others' wife should be treated as mother. That is our Indian system. But he wanted to overcome that, that "I call even my wife mother."

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: That "I am better than..."

Prabhupāda: Ah, better than all others.

Morning Walk -- March 10, 1976, Mayapur:

Prabhupāda: Now, even in the temple, you were complaining, the husband and wife were talking.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes. That's living. That means living. That is not... They're not talking Śrīmad Bhāgavatam.

Prabhupāda: That...

Bhavānanda: Separate woman's house, separate man's house.

Prabhupāda: That is our Indian system. Up to the family they have got separate house for men, separate house for women, separate house for kitchen, separate house for toilet.

Bhavānanda: Very nice. Compound.

Garden Conversation -- June 10, 1976, Los Angeles:

Prabhupāda: You call it any love, the real idea is how to unite man and woman, that's all. That is the idea. Real, basic principle is how to unite a man and woman. It goes on as friend or husband and wife or this or that. The real purpose is they want to unite. And that unity is for sex. And then both of them become entangled. Gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair janasya moho 'yam (SB 5.5.8). This is moha, illusion. What is that explanation?

Hṛdayānanda: Purport: "How money can be dearer than life is indicated in this verse. Thieves may enter the house of a rich man to steal money at the risk of their lives. Because of trespassing they may be killed by guns or attacked by watchdogs, but still they try to commit burglary. Why do they risk their lives? Only to get some money. Similarly, a professional soldier is recruited into the army, and he accepts such service, with the risk of dying on the battlefield, only for the sake of money. In the same way, merchants go from one country to another on boats at the risk of their lives, or they dive into the water...

Room Conversation with Ambarisa and Catholic Priest -- June 14, 1976, Detroit:

Prabhupāda: Happy.

Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa: ...simple quarters.

Prabhupāda: Happily they live. As soon as there is no quarrel between the husband and wife, the home will be happy. And as soon as there is misunderstanding between husband, wife, it will be hell. So the principle is the husband honestly tries to earn livelihood, and at home the wife should be so intelligent that whatever money the husband has earned, she'll manage. She'll not demand, "Bring money, bring money, bring money. Otherwise it cannot be..." Then the home will be happy. So where is that training?

Stansky: Well, there is no training here, there is no culture, as you pointed out.

Prabhupāda: No, I mean to say culture, not training.

Morning Walk -- July 5, 1976, Washington, D.C.:

Devotee (1): That is faith, Prabhupāda? If the woman has faith in the husband...?

Prabhupāda: Faith or no faith, if they live husband and wife, there will be child. That's all. (break)

Vipina: That's why they had to build this canal, because it was too rocky for boats. (break)

Prabhupāda: ...potency of hari-nāma-kīrtana, everyone will join. We have to be sincerely working, then everything... Kṛṣṇa will. Natural, even child, drunkard, sane man, everyone was.

Vipina: Yes, they were all dancing.

Prabhupāda: The proof was there.

Vipina: You said last night that actually they all want to dance, but they're artificially checking. (break)

Prabhupāda: Birth, death. (laughter)

Morning Walk -- July 20, 1976, New York:

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Alone.

Hari-śauri: In the kitchen or...

Prabhupāda: Man and woman together should not worship unless they are husband and wife.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Never be alone. So just because they are married to someone else, that is not... They must be married to each other.

Prabhupāda: No, no, they must be together, the man and the woman. The husband-wife can go, not others.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: In most temples that is not the system right now.

Prabhupāda: No, that system should be introduced. The husband-wife together can go to worship the Deity. If they are not related as husband, they should not go.

Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa: What about a situation like this, where the husband and wife are worshiping but also some other brahmacārīs are also worshiping?

Room Conversation -- August 2, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm):

Prabhupāda: There's no question of starvation for want of money. Anywhere sit down and do something palatable, and people will purchase. So your livelihood will go on. Pakorā, kacuri, jalebi, anything. You make some palatable, people are fond of eating some palatable things. That is their hobby. In Allahabad, there was a brāhmaṇa. I had my business, and he was neighborhood, he was living. So in the morning, the husband and wife would go to take bath in the Ganges. They would very nicely take bath, and while coming they will purchase some ingredients and then come home. The husband will perform pūjā, etc., and the wife will prepare many nice preparations-baḍā, pakori, puskar (?), this, that. Then he'll take his meals, rest awhile, and in the evening he will sit down, he was sitting just in front of my shop, about four or five o'clock. All the preparations his wife had made whole day, and the small shop. And the university students will come up to night, ten o'clock, he'll finish. Nothing will remain. Everything will be... And he'll make at least ten rupees profit, minimum.

Room Conversation -- August 2, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm):

Prabhupāda: And he'll make at least ten rupees profit, minimum. In those days, 1925, in those days ten rupees means nowadays at least fifty rupees. So, and living very happy. Living humbly as a brāhmaṇa, he was having his pūjā, going to the Ganges, taking bath, husband and wife, in the morning, and the wife's business is to prepare and his business was to sell. So they'll make at least ten, fifteen rupees profit daily, very prosperous. Living peacefully, husband and wife. There are many such families. The... If wife is very good, then his home is very nice. They cannot be unhappy at any circumstances. Dampatyoḥ kalaho nāsti tatra śrīḥ svayam āgataḥ.(?) Cāṇakya Paṇḍita. When there is full agreement between husband and wife, cooperation, then the goddess of fortune comes there without application. You haven't got to ask goddess of fortune, "Please come and help me." She'll come automatically. This is Cāṇakya Paṇḍita's instruction.

Room Conversation -- August 2, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm):

Prabhupāda: There are so many things in India culture for becoming happy and advancing towards the goal of life. Now I am appreciating for more and more, seeing the whole world, what is India's culture. Formerly I was thinking, "It is custom. To become faithful wife, this is custom." But when I come outside I see what is wife and what is faithful wife. In India, still, in the village, even there is fight between husband, wife, the wife is faithful. Still. Completely dependent on husband. The husband also, in spite of fighting, is always careful that the wife does not get any inconvenience. It was the culture, now it is breaking. (about door or window) You can close that. In material world, for peaceful life, there must be peaceful condition between the husband and wife. Everyone requires wife, everyone requires husband. Sex is necessary, so make the condition of sex very peaceful. Why disturbed? Make the condition that there will be... It is necessary. As eating is necessary, sleeping is necessary, for ordinary man, so sex is also necessary. So make a condition so that nothing will be disturbed, and in undisturbed condition of mind execute spiritual advancement. This is Indian civilization. Aim is spiritual advancement.

Room Conversation With French Commander -- August 3, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm):

Prabhupāda: Because you do not train the boys to be qualified. You train them to become debauch. What can be done? You train them from brahmacārī, then they'll be responsible husbands. Both the girls and the boys should be trained up. Then they'll be responsible husband and wife and live peacefully. In their young days, if you give them freedom, they'll spoil. What can be done? Young, youthful days, if you give them full freedom, they'll be misguided and spoiled.

Translator: She's asking that since in these Western countries the families are so broken up and the women sometimes cannot find a qualified husband, what should she do?

Prabhupāda: That, here is the society. You train them. You have got all children. You train them in that way, so that... Whatever is done is done. Now you can make very good society, Kṛṣṇa conscious society. Not that one mistake has been done, you should continue. Rectify it. The difficulty is the modern society, the leaders, they do not know the aim of life. They are blindly doing everything like animals. Their philosophy is like the animals. Eat, drink, be merry and enjoy, that's all. This is the philosophy of the animals. And human philosophy is to understand first of all what I am. I am this body or something else?

Room Conversation -- August 14, 1976, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Anāsaktya. Yes. Our Vedic process is that at a certain age you must retire from family life. Voluntary, forceful, giving up association.

Indian Doctor: Even there is worship (indistinct).

Prabhupāda: Yes. So these are āsaktis. This husband and wife dying together, it is admitted(?) because āsakti is there. That āsakti will help him, that the wife will become a husband next life, and the husband will become wife next. And in that way they'll have to take birth again.

Indian Doctor: Soul has got no tax.(?)

Prabhupāda: Karma-bandha.

Indian Doctor: Karma-bandha and jīva.

Prabhupāda: Find out this verse, Fifth Canto, Fifth Chapter.

Room Conversation -- August 17, 1976, Hyderabad:

Prabhupāda: Akhila-rasāmṛta, yes. Akhila-rasāmṛta-sindhu. So you can have all the rasas. That is the origin of bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu. In bhakti, that rasa, you become in the ocean of rasa. You're hankering after rasas. There is a Vedic injunction, raso vai saḥ labdhvānandi ānandī.(?) One who has got the rasa, labdhvānandi, then he gets the real ānanda. That ānanda-cinmaya-rasa expansion is Kṛṣṇa's calves, cows, gopī friends, cowherd boy friends, Nanda, Yaśodāmāyi, so many. So to be Kṛṣṇa conscious means to participate with these rasas. It is not dry. It is not dry like, simply so 'ham, so'ham. So 'ham, they do not know the meaning. So 'ham means I belong to the same rasa. I also eligible to enjoy the same rasa. But Kṛṣṇa is... (break) ...and the calves, the cows are enjoying the rasa as predominated. Just like husband and wife, they are enjoying, both. But one is enjoying as the husband, predominator. The husband is forcefully dragging the wife. She's also... While she is dragged by force, she enjoys. That is another rasa. But there is rasa. Combined together it becomes rasa. Similarly Kṛṣṇa does not enjoy this material.

Room Conversation About Blitz News Clipping -- August 21, 1976, Hyderabad:

Prabhupāda: Yes, they are paṇḍita.

Gargamuni: He is training his son also.

Prabhupāda: Yes, his son will be great paṇḍita. Both of them are devotees, husband and wife. Therefore nice son is born. Yathā bījaṁ yathā yoni. Yathā bījaṁ yathā yoni. Yoni is the mother. Bījam is the father. Yathā bījaṁ yathā yoni. So I'll not send it to Bombay.

Gopāla Kṛṣṇa: No. Okay. Good. It's better to...

Prabhupāda: My father used to carry śālagrāma-śilā if he was going out in the...

Gopāla Kṛṣṇa: In the neck?

Prabhupāda: His Guru Mahārāja advised him.

Gopāla Kṛṣṇa: It's auspicious.

Room Conversation -- September 16, 1976, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Yes, also. Otherwise, we have seen in our childhood how happy people were. They were. Simple. If one has five rupees income per month he's happy. I've seen it. Husband, wife, a small family. If he has got five rupees income, they can maintain very nicely, happily. Why not? Suppose he has got five rupees income. The rice was selling at four rupees. So two person, say one-fourth kg., one-fourth share each. A gentleman cannot eat more than that. So means half a share. And the whole month, fifteen share. It is about one rupee eight annas. And further, one rupees eight annas add for vegetables and other things. With three rupees they can maintain, the husband and wife. And two rupees still there. He can spend for other purposes. I have seen it. Fresh vegetables, rice, this and... Just like with banana leaf. The pots were of earthen, the wife is cooking and she's utilizing dry foliage as fuel, a little temperature, everything is cooked. The husband takes one banana leaf and spreads, and the wife gives sufficient rice, vegetables. And things were so cheap. I have seen it. And fresh.

Morning Walk -- December 5, 1976, Hyderabad:

Prabhupāda: That is another thing. But first thing is that why do you want immediately effect? That is foolishness. The effect will be there. Therefore it is called dhairya. Utsāhād dhairyāt. Dhairya means patience. You act God acting with patience. The result will be niścaya. The result will be there. These things are required. Utsāhād dhairyāt niścayāt tat-tat-karma-pravartanāt, sato vṛtteḥ sādhu-saṅge ṣaḍbhir bhaktiḥ prasidhyati. So why you should have a foolish person—"Now I come to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. I have become immediately everything. Give up everything?" Why do you think like this? The same example: The girl is married, now it is sure that she'll have child. Wait. Niścaya. When there is husband and wife there will be child. There is no doubt about it, but wait. Why do you expect immediately child on the day of marriage. This is foolishness. So you should answer these rascals like that.

Morning Walk -- December 27, 1976, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Neo-sannyāsa.

Hari-śauri: There were three or four of them came to stay at the guest house in Vṛndāvana, Kṛṣṇa-Balarāma guest house.

Prabhupāda: Yes. Husband and wife sannyāsa. (laughter)

Hari-śauri: Yes. They were saying, "I am sannyāsī, and my brother is sannyāsī, and my wife is sannyāsī, but my mother-in-law, she is not sannyāsī." (laughter)

Prabhupāda: This is Kali-yuga. Rascals, they are doing anything and any...

Yaśomatīnandana: And he also has written Bhagavad-gītā, his own Bhagavad-gītā...

Hari-śauri: It's five to seven.

Prabhupāda: So let us go down.

1977 Conversations and Morning Walks

Room Conversation -- January 5, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: I do not know what for it was taken here.

Hari-śauri: I don't know where they came from.

Gopāla Kṛṣṇa: Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, French. (break)

Prabhupāda: They take it trifle. Husband and wife who are fighting, dam-pate kalahe caiva bambharambhe laghu kriya.(?) If there is fight between husband and..., it will be... The show will be very big, and the result will be nil. Bambharambhe laghu-kriya. "Never come to me! I shall not see your face! If you come, I shall kill you!" So on, so on. Then next moment they are talking. Bambharambhe laghu-kriya. These are taken very lightly, no seriously. Now they are going... Nowadays, in the court case, fifty percent of cases are divorce in India.

Hari-śauri: Same in the West.

Room Conversation -- January 7, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: It is very precarious condition. So we want to give them, all of them, "Come and live." But when you come here, if you get husband we have no objection. But don't canvass. That is not good. And that is making our sannyāsīs fall down. Of course, it is difficult, that young men, young women living, intermingling. But it is... Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement is to reform everything. Even there there is such desire it should be checked. And that can be checked if one is strictly Kṛṣṇa conscious. Otherwise not possible. So these things should be... Because the Kali-yuga, the more it advances, people will be suffering in so many ways. And the only solace is Kṛṣṇa consciousness, only solution. If one becomes Kṛṣṇa conscious, then he (she) doesn't require husband. He (she) does not require. He... She knows that "Kṛṣṇa is my protector. Why shall I artificially seek after father or...?" And what protection, for a few days either the father or the son or the husband may give? Real protection is Kṛṣṇa. This is temporary, but because we have got this material body we require some. In this way... And this kind of hypocrisy—they have taken sannyāsa and mixing with woman. This is not to be allowed. If you want woman you get yourself married, live respectfully. We have no objection. But this hypocrisy should be stopped. There have been so many fallen down. First of all there will be no sannyāsī anymore. I have got very bad experience. And at least, we are not going to create new sannyāsīs. And those who have fallen down, let them marry, live like respectable gentlemen. I have no objection. After all, young man, fallen down—that's all right. It is by nature's way. But marry that girl. That I am insisting from the very beginning, that no friendly liaison. If you want, get one nice... They are, all of them qualified. Get one wife and live like a gentleman. Similarly woman. Live with one husband fastidiously, with children. What is the wrong there? We have so many gṛhastha devotees. You have got children. Pradyumna has got child. Gopāla has... Live with husband, wife. There is no restriction for husband and wife.

Discussion on Deprogrammers -- January 9, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: No, no. Why not take this... Suppose he is attracted by some woman. Let him dress like a gentleman and keep with the woman as husband and wife and preach. What is the wrong there? Whatever is done, you close up that chapter. Now you become a householder. There is no harm. And live as a gentleman householder and preach. But don't play duplicity in the dress of sannyāsī to keep private relations. That is not good. That is duplicity. Better openly become a respectable householder and serve Kṛṣṇa. Our service is main thing, either in this dress or that dress. So if you cannot keep yourself sincerely as a sannyāsī, then get yourself married. But you cannot keep the girl as friend. That is also not good.

Conversation on Train to Allahabad -- January 11, 1977, India:

Prabhupāda: Within two weeks, three divorce.

Rāmeśvara: That's a very good point.

Hari-śauri: They have no family unit to speak of, anyway.

Prabhupāda: It is surprising. If one gentleman lives for life as husband and wife, it is a very surprising thing in your country that they have lived so long as husband and wife.

Hari-śauri: Yes, they become very glorified.

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Jagadīśa: They put them in the paper.

Room Conversation -- January 21, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: Yes. He came to see me in London, and I saw in the street there was some woman; he is kissing her. I have seen sannyāsī.

Nanda-kumāra: This Rajneesh makes woman sannyāsīs too.

Prabhupāda: Rajneesh makes husband and wife sannyāsī. That we saw, that, in Poona?

Hari-śauri: Yes. We stayed at one man's house, and his brother was a follower of Rajneesh.

Prabhupāda: Sannyāsī.

Hari-śauri: After a day and a half Prabhupāda convinced the guy that Rajneesh was just a rascal. He came that morning we left, and he admitted Rajneesh was just a rascal and was just cheating everyone. "Neo-sannyāsa," they call it.

Morning Walk -- January 24, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Satsvarūpa: They criticize this in ISKCON, that the leaders pick out husband and wife.

Prabhupāda: That's it.

Satsvarūpa: And that they're not allowed to mix freely. They say, "Well how do you know who you want to marry unless you can mix with that person?"

Prabhupāda: There is no question of "how do you want?" You require, and the parents is the best selector. It is not the question, "How do you like?" It is the guardians' duty to find out a suitable husband or a suitable wife. Nowadays the boys and girls, they do not take parents' guidance, and they are not happy.

Hari-śauri: The thing is the parents are not qualified to give any guidance any more either.

Room Conversation -- February 27, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Yes. Generally a girl attains puberty at fourteen years, thirteen years. In India because it is tropical climate... I think in Western countries they attain puberty not before fifteen, sixteen years. So although a girl is married before puberty, she is not allowed to go to the husband until she has attained puberty. Formerly, in our days also, after attaining puberty there is another second marriage. Then the husband and wife live together.

Rādhā-vallabha: Is there a minimum age for the man?

Prabhupāda: No. That is... Minimum age means generally the husband must be older than the wife, at least five years' difference.

Rādhā-vallabha: What is the most amount of years they can be different? What is the maximum amount of years there can be difference?

Room Conversation -- February 27, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: Oh.

Rādhā-vallabha: I heard there was some correspondence between them after he left you. Birds of a feather.

Prabhupāda: So they are husband and wife still or not?

Rādhā-vallabha: I just heard from some women, so I can't trust it.

Prabhupāda: Hm. But she was pregnant?

Rādhā-vallabha: I don't know. She was living with her parents in Colorado, I think. He is from there also.

Prabhupāda: He was polluted by the..., that Puruṣottama.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Oh. That Mr. Dalmia's guru.

Room Conversation 'GBC Resolutions' -- March 1, 1977, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: So if Bhagavān and he does not agree, then he should be given better place that both husband and wife, they can go on with the translation work. It is not that he has to remain under the control of Bhagavān. That is not necessary. Let him translate independently, and wherever he likes, he can remain. What do you think?

Hṛdayānanda: He is not so much a translator.

Rāmeśvara: His wife.

Prabhupāda: You see, nobody is translator. We have to accept whatever is offered. Kānā māmā (blind uncle). Without māmā, better a blind māmā. That's all. That is our policy. So to remain without māmā is not very good choice. Must have a māmā. Never mind he is blind. That is our policy. So now we are without māmā. Who is translating now?

Hṛdayānanda: The main translator, the most important translator is still working with Bhagavān, so the translating is going on.

Conversation: Vairagya, Salaries, and Political Etiquette -- April 28, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Vairāgya... Caitanya Mahāprabhu says clearly that niṣkiñcanasya bhagavad-bhajanonmukhasya. The bhagavad-bhajana, to become devotee of the Lord, means he's disgusted with this material world. For him, bhagavad-bhajana. Just like if I become disgusted with something, I require some change, similarly, bhagavad-bhajana is for him who is absolutely disgusted with this material world. And anyone who has got little interest in material enjoyment, he's not fit for bhagavad-bhajana. He'll have to accept again this material body, either he becomes Brahmā or becomes an ant in the stool, according to his karma. Karmaṇā daiva-netreṇa jantur deha-upapattaye (SB 3.31.1). He'll have to develop certain type of body according to his desire of enjoyment. This is nature's law. Then where is the question of going back to home, back to Godhead? Why so many varieties of life? There is Brahmā, and there is ant in the stool. So vairāgya-vidyā-nija... Vāsudeve bhagavati bhakti-yogaḥ prayojitaḥ (SB 1.2.7), janayaty āśu vairāgyam. And vairāgyam means jñānam ca. When one is in full knowledge that "To remain in this material world is useless for me"—jñānam—"I am simply wasting my time by repetition of birth and death," then he can have vairāgya. "Stop this!" If this sense is not awakened, there is no bhakti. It is not so easy. Brahma-bhūtaḥ prasannātmā na śocati na kāṅkṣati (BG 18.54). That is vairāgya. So vairāgya-vidyā... Otherwise why big, big persons, they renounced everything? Bharata Mahārāja, young man, the emperor of the whole world, gave up everything. Caitanya Mahāprabhu personally teaches, young man, good, beautiful wife, young wife, so affectionate mother, so much honor in the society, Nimāi Paṇḍita, so beautiful body... Tyaktvā sudustyaja-surepsita-rājya-lakṣmīm (SB 11.5.34). Surepsita. Caitanya Mahāprabhu's position was, even the demigods, they desired such family life. But He still gave up. That is teaching. Therefore Sarvabhauma Bhaṭṭācārya says, vairāgya-vidyā-nija-bhak..., śikṣārtham: "to teach others." He understood that in order to teach others vairāgya-vidyā... He is the Supreme Person. Vairāgya-vidyā-nija-bhakti-yoga-śikṣārtham ekaḥ purāṇa-puruṣaḥ: (CC Madhya 6.254) "That He was, Supreme Lord. Now He has appeared as Śrī Kṛṣṇa Caitanya."Śarīra-dhārī: "He has accepted one body as Śrī Kṛṣṇa Caitanya." So these things should be stopped, that they should live comfortably with husband and wife, children, and take salary from the... You decide.

Conversation: 'How to Secure Brahmacaris' -- June 24, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: And he says. He was experienced politician. He said, mūrkhā yatra na pūjyante dhānyaṁ yatra susañcitam. "In the society where rascals are not worshiped and food grains are properly stocked..." Mūrkhā yatra na pūjyante dhānyaṁ yatra susañcitam... Another... Dampatyo kalaho nāsti: "And where there is no quarrel between husband and wife," tatra śrīḥ svayam āgatāḥ, "all fortune will come there automatically." Svayam āgatāḥ. You haven't got to pray, "Mother Lakṣmī, please come to my house." She'll come. Three things wanted. You should not give unnecessarily honor to rascals, and you should keep your food grains very nicely, and don't quarrel, husband and wife. Then you become fortunate. Just see. Check how these instructions are there.

Conversation: 'How to Secure Brahmacaris' -- June 24, 1977, Vrndavana:

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Nowadays none of those three are available. There is divorce, there is shortage of food, and all rascals are worshiped.

Prabhupāda: That's it. If there is no quarrel between husband and wife, you can be happy underneath a tree. You know Nala-Damayanti?

Indian man (1): Eh?

Prabhupāda: Nala-Damayanti?

Indian man (1): Yeah.

Prabhupāda: They were happily living by covering their one cloth. Still, they were living peacefully. They were so poverty-stricken. Rāja Hariścandra lost everything, but because there was peace between husband and..., they were living. Viśvāmitra saw separately. There are so many instances. That is lost now, to live peacefully, husband and wife. Throughout the whole world became sour. And still in India, "Eh, I have no other..." There is stock of grain. So how many people have got stock of grain nowadays? Dhānyaṁ yatra susañcitam. (laughs) Nobody.

Conversations -- June 28, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Human activity should be guided toward Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Then it is human. Otherwise it is animal. Take minimum demand, be happy, and make progress. That is the platform of progress. Very little... (too faint) The same shape, (too faint) they are improving to make straighter, topless, bottomless, in this way and that way, miniskirt. They are arranging. The thing is the same, but they want to change the taste in different way. No knowledge. That means (too faint). Sex, you require under... You'll get it between husband and wife. There is no difficulty. What is the use of that? Daily pregnancy, daily... Three days divorce. Actually I saw in Chicago, within three weeks, three divorce.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: In our temple?

Prabhupāda: No, no, some public...

Room Conversation with Vrindavan De -- July 6, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: Yes... So happiness, unless Kṛṣṇa gives, there is no question of happiness. Our business should be that we may not be uncomfortably living which will disturb our progress of Kṛṣṇa consciousness—that much. Other things? Depend on Kṛṣṇa. If He wants to make you Indra, you become Indra. There is no happiness even by becoming Indra. You... We read from books. Indra is how much disturbed, always fighting, devāsura. He has to fight. The same thing as here. Only difference is the standard of living in the heaven and the duration of life are greater. But if you have to struggle for existence, then what is the use of this duration of life, greater? Simply struggling, where is happiness? So in different planets, in different species of life... I see at night these small bugs. They have got the same happiness. The husband and wife or the male and female together, jumping and having sex, and everything in a different body. And same thing is going on in higher planetary system.

Room Conversation about Grhasthas -- July 17, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: So may be like that, but must be attached to the temple.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yeah, that's the clear point. We should not lose anyone.

Prabhupāda: No, that's a great loss.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Because if husband and wife live together in the temple itself, where there are so many brahmacārīs and... (break)

Prabhupāda: ...he makes love with a girl and marries and live at the cost of Society, and that is to be discouraged. If you want to marry, you work independently. Maintain yourself. And whatever you can contribute, do that. That is the... Just like Abhirāma. He's very good. And I don't want to be lost. He constructed that house, I never forbade. And it is in the campus. Let him remain a little separately. It doesn't matter.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I think the main reason he can't live there anymore is that because of doing business he'll not always be able to be in Māyāpur, and he doesn't feel that that house is safe for his wife to live there alone.

Room Conversation About 10th Canto -- October 16, 1977, Vrndavana:

Pradyumna: Yes. Everything was very nicely explained, Śrīla Prabhupāda, very...

Prabhupāda: Pick up the words? Set up in right place. It will be nice. In this way, slow but sure. Then, even in this condition, I can help you. There is no question of hurrying. Finish one verse, husband and wife, one day. And make it everything clear. Eh?

Pradyumna: Yes, Śrīla Prabhupāda.

Prabhupāda: Vīrarāghavācārya, Sanātana Gosvāmī, Viśvanātha Cakravartī. We are just trying to explain their ideas. We are teeny.

Pradyumna: I think your commentary on Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam will go down in history as one of the most..., one of the best commentaries. It will go down.

Prabhupāda: Let us try for that. (takes honey) Hm... Therefore I said "Upendra," (laughter) because it is solidified.

Page Title:Husband and wife (Conversations)
Compiler:Visnu Murti, RupaManjari
Created:26 of Jun, 2012
Totals by Section:BG=0, SB=0, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=0, Con=78, Let=0
No. of Quotes:78