Go to Vanipedia | Go to Vanisource | Go to Vanimedia


Vaniquotes - the compiled essence of Vedic knowledge


Family man (Lectures)

Lectures

Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures

Lecture on BG 1.13-14 -- London, July 14, 1973:

So actually, we are not puruṣa; we are prakṛti. That is stated in the Bhagavad-gītā, apareyam itas tu viddhi me prakṛtiṁ parām, jīva-bhūtāṁ mahā-bāho yayedaṁ dhāryate jagat (BG 7.5). Apareyam, these material elements, bhūmir āpo 'nalo vāyuḥ, earth, water, fire, air, sky, mind, intelligence, bhinnā me prakṛtir aṣṭadhā, these are separated energies, material energies of Kṛṣṇa. They are also prakṛti. As this material world is prakṛti, similarly, there is another prakṛti, Kṛṣṇa gives information. Apareyam itas tu viddhi me prakṛtiṁ parām. But that is parā-prakṛti. So we are not puruṣa; we are prakṛtis. Although by materially dressed, we appear to be puruṣa, actually, we are not puruṣa. Just like if you dress one woman like a man, that does mean she has become man. She is woman. Similarly, we are puruṣa in the sense that we are trying to imitate the supreme puruṣa, Puruṣottama. Kṛṣṇa is the Supreme enjoyer. We are trying to become imitation Kṛṣṇa. Just like so many rascals, they declare that "God, I am God." That is the last snare, Māyāvāda. First of all we try to become enjoyer like the head of the family man or a minister or this and that, so many. Everyone is trying to become head, enjoyer. And at last, being baffled in every respect, he wants to become God. This is the last snare of māyā. Nobody can become God. He is Puruṣottama and we are prakṛtis. Artificially, how we can become enjoyer? Prakṛti means enjoyed. Enjoyer and... Predominator and the predominated.

Lecture on BG 1.31 -- London, July 24, 1973:

So Arjuna is in gṛhastha-āśrama. He wants to serve Kṛṣṇa. He's Kṛṣṇa's friend. He is a devotee. Kṛṣṇa has already recommended. In the Fourth Chapter He will declare, bhakto 'si priyo 'si me (BG 4.3). "You are My dear friend. You are My devotee." So he is qualified, gṛhastha-āśramī. He is devotee of Kṛṣṇa, but he is also family man. He has his wife, children. So here the problem is what is śreyas? What is ultimate good? That is mistaken here. Therefore Bhagavad-gītā is required. He is thinking that "Kṛṣṇa is not so important. My family is important. My family." Although he is devotee. Therefore kaniṣṭha-adhikārī, in the lower stage of devotee, in the lower stage of devotion, one may be interested in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, but his real interest is how to improve this material life.

Lecture on BG 1.32-35 -- London, July 25, 1973:

Unless one has got family, he will not try to earn. He will not try to earn money. He will be irresponsible. Therefore it is essential. When one is given some responsible post... Some... I know some English firm in India, I had some connection with him. So he was simply trying to know, "The man who is going to work for us, whether he is family man?" Because unless he is a family man, he has no attraction. He can give up the job at any moment. Because there is no family attraction. This is the psychology. Therefore according to Vedic civilization, it is the duty of the parents to get the sons and daughters married so that they will have family attraction, they will be established, they will be organized, things will go nicely. If there is no family attraction, no responsibility, then the things will not go nicely. This is the basic principle.

Lecture on BG 1.36 -- London, July 26, 1973:

According to law, if somebody comes to attack you, or if somebody comes to kidnap your wife, these are ātatāyinaḥ. Or somebody comes to set fire in your house, especially they are called aggressors. So these aggressors are to be immediately killed. There is no question of nonviolence. You must kill immediately. There is no sin. Ātatāyinaḥ. But here, although the other party is ātatāyinaḥ, aggressor, still, Arjuna is considering whether they should be killed or not. That is the difference between devatā. In every action, they are calculating. But he is considering that "This kind of aggressor, because they are my kinsmen, they are my family men, whether this kind of aggressor should be killed or not?" It is common sense.

Lecture on BG 1.36 -- London, July 26, 1973:

For every little action, you are responsible. It is being noted by the material nature. And you will be forced to accept a kind of body for suffering. In so many types of bodies. Therefore Arjuna, being devatā, he is considering that "Although they are ātatāyinaḥ, at the same time, they are family men. Whether it is good to kill family?" He is asking Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa is there. He is considering, he is consulting with Kṛṣṇa that "Do you think that killing this kind of aggressor, I will be benefitted or not?" Therefore in the last line he said, sva-janaṁ hi kathaṁ hatvā sukhinaḥ syāma mādhava: (BG 1.36) "My dear Kṛṣṇa, do you think by killing my family men, my relatives, shall I be happy? You are Mādhava. You are always happy because You are husband of goddess of fortune. But do you think I shall be happy in this way?" This is consultation.

Lecture on BG 1.40 -- London, July 28, 1973:

There are many stories of chaste woman. Many stories. There was one disciple of Rāmānujācārya, a very poor. So Rāmānujācārya came in that poor disciple's house and he saw there was no one in the house. So he thought: "What is this? This is my disciple's house. He's family man. Why there is none?" That means he could understand that the door is not locked. Door was closed only. Then he could understand that within the door his wife is there. Therefore he knocked the door, and there was response also, knocking, but she could not come out. That means she, she was so poor that she had no garment. She was keeping herself within the room, naked. So Rāmānujācārya could understand that "There is his wife. Maybe she has no sufficient clothing." So immediately, his own cloth he gave her, within the room, and the woman came out, putting on that... And then offered obeisances. So he could understand the position.

Lecture on BG 2.2-6 -- Ahmedabad, December 11, 1972:

He said that "After killing my family men..." Dhṛtarāṣṭra, dhārtarāṣṭrāḥ, pāṇḍavāḥ... Dhṛtarāṣṭra and Pāṇḍu, they were two brothers, and their sons, cousin-brothers. So generally, people want to increase his material opulence to show to his friends and relatives. When one person constructs a very new, very nice house, he invites his relatives and his friends to show them that "Now I have become so opulent." So Arjuna is thinking in that term, that "Suppose I conquer over and I get the kingdom. But if my relatives and brothers are dead, whom shall I show?" This is another kind of vairāgya. How this material relationship makes one foolish, Arjuna is playing the part of a foolish man, and Kṛṣṇa will chastise him. We shall see later on.

Lecture on BG 2.4-5 -- London, August 5, 1973:

So the first problem was for Arjuna how to kill the kinsmen, family men. Now, when he was chastised by Kṛṣṇa as a friend that "Why you are so weak? Don't be weak. This is sentiment. This kind of compassion is sentiment. Uttiṣṭha. You better get up and fight." If I do not want to do something, I can offer so many pleas. You see. So next he is presenting gurūn: "All right, Kṛṣṇa, you are talking about my kinsmen. I accept that it is my weakness. But how do You advise me to kill my guru? Droṇācārya is my guru. And Bhīṣmadeva is also my guru. So do you want me to kill my guru? Gurūn hi hatvā. And not only ordinary guru. This is not that they are ordinary men. Mahānubhāvān. Bhīṣma is a great devotee, and similarly, Droṇācārya also, a great personality. Mahānubhāvān. So kathaṁ bhīṣmam ahaṁ saṅkhye droṇaṁ ca madhusūdana (BG 2.4).

Lecture on BG 2.7-11 -- New York, March 2, 1966:

Just like death anniversary observed, similarly, in the family, the descendants, they offer some foodstuff after some religious ceremony. That is called śrāddha. And it is believed that that offering goes to the dead forefathers. So that is a family religious ceremony. So Arjuna said that "These people will die. Who will offer that ablution to the forefathers?" So from ordinary point of view, from the point of view of a family man, he argued with Kṛṣṇa in so many ways. And after, at the end, he decided that "I cannot fight. I cannot fight." Then Kṛṣṇa tried to induce him, and he said that "Yes, whatever You are saying, that I am a kṣatriya and I am not doing my duty, this is all right, but My mind is perplexed." So he was at the same time conscious that Śrī Kṛṣṇa only can make a solution of this perplexity.

Lecture on BG 2.20 -- Hyderabad, November 25, 1972:

Desire means material desires. If you think that you are Indian and your desire is how to make your country improve... Or so many desires. Or if you are a family man. So these are all material desires. So long you are enwrapped by material desires, then you are under the condition of material nature. As soon as you think that you are, your, you are not Indian or American, you are not a brāhmaṇa or Vaiṣṇava, brāhmaṇa or kṣatriya, you are eternal servant of Kṛṣṇa, that is called purified desire. Desire is there, but you have to purify the desire. That I have explained just now. Sarvopādhi-vinirmuktam (CC Madhya 19.170). These are upādhis.

Lecture on BG 2.36-37 -- London, September 4, 1973:
So in the warfield, you cannot be compassionate. That is not required. In so many ways. Ahiṁsā ārjava, these are good qualities. In the thirteen chapter, Kṛṣṇa has described ahiṁsā, nonviolence. Nonviolence is generally accepted. And actually Arjuna was nonviolent. He was not a coward, not that because he was coward, therefore he was refusing to fight. No. As a Vaiṣṇava, naturally he is nonviolent. He does not like to kill anyone, and especially his own family men. He was taking a little compassion. Not that he was a coward. So Kṛṣṇa is encouraging, inducing Arjuna to observe the duty. You cannot deviate from duty. That was the point.
Lecture on BG 2.46-47 -- New York, March 28, 1966:

Praṇaśyati means "It is lost." "The spiritual path is lost by the second six principles." And what are these? Now, atyāhāra. Atyāhāra means to eat more than what you need or to accumulate more than what you need. Āhāra means eating, and āhāra means accumulation. So, of course, any householder, he requires some deposit in the bank for emergency. That is, of course, allowed for householders. But just for us, we are sannyāsī; we are renounced order of... We haven't got to accumulate any money. You see? That is the system of Indian philosophy. But those who are householder, family men, they may have some deposit for emergency. Otherwise, those who are renounced order, those who are brahmacārī, for them to keep money separately for his maintenance or for accumulating bank balance is not allowed. Atyāhāra.

Lecture on BG 2.48-49 -- New York, April 1, 1966:

Now here, the yoga-sthaḥ kuru karmāṇi. In India there are many families still. At least in my family, when I was family man, I was also doing this, that the Deity, Lord Kṛṣṇa, the mūrti... Mūrti means Deity or the idol of Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa, established in a room. That is called the God's room. The God's room. So our duty is to rise early in the morning and open the door of the God's room, offer Him some prayers and some kīrtana, and then cleanse the room and then begin our daily duty, take our breakfast and... The whole idea is that "The proprietor of this house is the Supreme Lord, and we are all workers." The whole idea is "The proprietor is the Supreme Lord, and we are all workers." Now, I am going to my office, to my work, to earn some money, because without money my household affairs cannot be run. So I am thinking that "This money is required; otherwise God's service will be stopped." So in earning that money in my office or in my workshop, my God consciousness is there.

Lecture on BG 2.58-59 -- New York, April 27, 1966:

He says, the experience of his life... So he was a king. He enjoyed his life like anything. Now, after he became a great devotee, spiritually engaged, he expresses that experience in this way, that yad-avadhi mama cetaḥ kṛṣṇa-padāravinde: "Since I have engaged my heart and soul in the supreme devotional service of the Lord, since then..." What is the result? Yad-avadhi mama cetaḥ kṛṣṇa-padāravinde nava-nava-rasa-dhāmany udyataṁ rantum āsīt: "I am getting every moment a new type of transcendental pleasure. Since then..." Bata nārī-saṅgame. This is materially. Nārī-saṅga means sex life, combination of man and woman, nārī-saṅgame. He says that "Since then, that whenever I think of sex life..." Because he has experienced. He was a family man, he was a king. He said that "Whenever I think of, not to act, but whenever I think of sex life, oh, I say, now, 'Tu!' " (as if spitting) So paraṁ dṛṣṭvā nivartate.

Lecture on BG 3.8-13 -- New York, May 20, 1966:
So the beginning of the process of yajña in this age can be very easily done by everyone, either he is family man or single man or anyone. Everyone has to cook for himself. Now, that cooking may be done for the Supreme Lord. And after cooking the foodstuff, offer it to the Supreme Lord and perform this yajña, saṅkīrtana,
Hare Kṛṣṇa Hare Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Hare Hare,
Hare Rāma Hare Rāma Rāma Rāma Hare Hare

(My dear Lord, and the spiritual energy of the Lord, kindly engage me in Your service. I am now embarrassed with this material service. Please engage me in Your service.) Then you become free from all sinful... After all, whatever we are doing, we are committing some sort of, even unknowingly, even unknowingly.

Lecture on BG 3.13-16 -- New York, May 23, 1966:

Just like Arjuna. What was he? He was a military man. He was not a sage. He was not a learned brāhmaṇa. He was ordinary, royal family, belonging to a royal family, kingly order, and a householder, family man, having children, wife, and a military man. But what...? How Arjuna became the greatest devotee of Lord. The Lord certifies, bhakto 'si priyo 'si me: (BG 4.3) "My dear Arjuna, you are my very dear friend as well as a great devotee." Now, what is the reason? He was not a sannyāsī. He was not a Vedantist. He was not a philosopher, nothing of the sort. Still, you will find in the Fourth Chapter, Lord says, "Oh, my dear Arjuna, you are very dear to Me, and you are My great devotee."

Lecture on BG 3.13-16 -- New York, May 23, 1966:

You haven't got to change anything. The same thing, example, that Arjuna was a military man, a householder, a family man, before hearing Bhagavad-gītā, and he remained the same family man, the same military man, but he became a great devotee of the Lord. That technique we have to learn. That technique is that Arjuna, in the beginning, he did not like to fight because he wanted to gratify his senses. He thought that "I shall be happy if I do not fight with my kinsmen because in the fighting my kinsmen will die and I shall be sorry. So what is the use of fighting like this?" That means the whole thing, whole program, is according to his own sense gratification. He did not know that this war field, this battle of Kurukṣetra, was organized by Śrī Kṛṣṇa to kill all unwanted men of the world at that time, all unwanted men of that world. That was His plan.

Lecture on BG 3.13-16 -- New York, May 23, 1966:

In the Vedic literature you will find that God has expanded Himself into many, just like the father expands himself into many children. The children is nothing but expansions of the body of the father. Similarly, we, all living entities, spiritual parts or living souls, we are also expansion of the supreme spirit. Now, the reason is, why the supreme spirit soul expanded himself into so many? What is the purpose? We have to understand. Now you can take the example. What is the purpose of father's expanding himself into children? A father takes the responsibility of maintaining the children. Why? Why he takes such, I mean, a grave responsibility, a family man. That "why" is answered—just to have happy and enjoyable life. That's all.

Lecture on BG 3.13-16 -- New York, May 23, 1966:

You will be surprised. When I was family man, I had a servant who was only twenty-two years old. Oh, he was too stout and strong. You see? So one day I asked him that... His name was Buddhu. So I asked him, "Buddhu, what do you take that you are very stout and strong?" He said, "My dear sir, I take only these corns." Corns. You know corns? A corns and it is powdered. The powdered portions used to make bread, and the grain portion he used to cook as rice, and he was taking that. That's all.

Lecture on BG 3.17-20 -- New York, May 27, 1966:

So anyway, now this Bhagavad-gītā was written, was spoken to a family man, Arjuna, military man, and the whole Mahābhārata is meant for strī-śūdra-dvijabandhu, less qualified men. Just see. In those days less qualified men were meant for understanding Bhagavad-gītā in half an hour. Just imagine what class of less intelligent persons were at that time. The same Bhagavad-gītā, now scholars like Dr. Radhakrishnan, and others, so many big big scholars, they are scrutinizingly studying; still they cannot understand. But this Bhagavad-gītā was meant for the less intelligent class of men of that time. Just you can imagine what class of less intelligent class and women were there. It is specially written, you will see, strī-śūdra-dvijabandhūnāṁ trayī na śruti-gocarā (SB 1.4.25). Because woman class and less intelligent class, and these unworthy sons of the brāhmaṇas and kṣatriyas, they will not be able to understand the original Vedic literature, therefore it has been presented in a story form with historical facts so that they can understand. That was the origin of Mahābhārata.

Lecture on BG 4.1 and Review -- New York, July 13, 1966:

Now, He also again clears the subject matter. Sa evāyaṁ mayā te 'dya yogaḥ proktaḥ purātanaḥ: (BG 4.3) "So Arjuna, I am just trying to speak to you about that old system of Bhagavad-gītā yoga, old system of yoga which I first spoke to sun-god." Why? "Why You are speaking to me?" The question... "You say that the spirit of Bhagavad-gītā is lost, and You are... Why You have selected me to speak the Bhagavad-gītā? There are many learned men. There is Vyāsadeva. There is Vasiṣṭha. There is other, many sages. They are existing. I am an ordinary military man. I am a family man. I know simply fighting. So why You are anxious to speak to me about Bhagavad-gītā? Why You are anxious to speak to Me? I am not a Vedantist. I am ordinary man. So why?"

Lecture on BG 4.7-9 -- New York, July 22, 1966:

Bhagavad-gītā is not a book that you can purchase from the market, and simply by your scholarship you can understand it. No. It is not possible. That, that point we have discussed. Bhakto 'si priyo 'si: (BG 4.3) "You are, because you are My devotee..." Kṛṣṇa, Arjuna was ordinary family man. He was a military man. And Kṛṣṇa said that "I am speaking to you." He was not a Vedic Vedantist or a very good scholar in Vedānta philosophy, or he was not a brāhmaṇa, or he was not a renouncer, nothing of the sort. He was a military man. Kṛṣṇa, Arjuna was a military man, and he was a family man. He was to look after the interest of his family. Still, Kṛṣṇa selected him to be the authority of Bhagavad-gītā. Why? Now, bhakto 'si: "Because you are My devotee." So that is the qualification.

Lecture on BG 4.11 -- New York, July 27, 1966:

So there is a very nice verse in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. A brāhmaṇa, he was a family man, just like worldly man, as we are. Now, brāhmaṇas are generally expected to be highly learned, and he was very learned man in Vedic literature. And when he came to his consciousness by reading all this Vedic literature, that "Although I am following the leadership, why I am not happy? Why I am not happy?"... This question should arise in the sane human mind. One should think that "I am following the leadership of somebody, according to my position and according to my circumstances. But still, I am not happy. Why?"

Lecture on BG 4.14 -- Bombay, April 3, 1974:

Just like Arjuna was hesitating to fight because he thought that "I shall be entangled in the karma-phala if I kill my family men and my grandfather, my teacher." So he was thinking. That was good consideration, pāpa-puṇya. But because he fought for Kṛṣṇa, because he satisfied Kṛṣṇa, he was not bound up. Yajñārthāt karmaṇo 'nyatra loko 'yaṁ karma-bandhanaḥ (BG 3.9). If you do anything for your satisfaction, then you become entangled in the karma-phala. But if you do anything for the satisfaction of Kṛṣṇa, there is no karma bondage. This is the secret. That is clearly stated. Na māṁ karmāṇi limpanti (BG 4.14). He is the Supreme. He can direct, but He is not under the direction. He is free.

Lecture on BG 4.24-34 -- New York, August 12, 1966:

Suppose you are earning $1,000 in a month. So according to Vedic instruction, you should give in charity fifty percent of your income. Five hundred dollars you should give in charity. And twenty-five percent you should spend for your family and twenty-five percent, as you are a family man, you may have it as bank balance so that in case of emergency you may require it. This is the prescription. Suppose you are earning $1,000 a month. You should give in charity for God's service fifty percent, and twenty-five percent you should spend for your family, dependents, and twenty-five percent you may have in a bank balance so that... This is the point.

Lecture on BG 5.7-13 -- New York, August 27, 1966:

So sannyāsas tu mahā-bāho. If artificially I detach myself, renounce this world, then Kṛṣṇa says duḥkham āptum ayogataḥ. If there is no engagement, good engagement, better engagement, then it is a cause of misery. It is a cause of misery. It is very difficult. Suppose a family man, he renounces the family connection, but if he has no better connection and better attachment, then he will feel, "Oh, I was better in my family life. I have done mistake." Kṛṣṇa says, sannyāsas tu mahā-bāho duḥkham āptum ayogataḥ. Ayogataḥ means if we have no link with the Kṛṣṇa consciousness, then simply detachment will be cause of misery. Duḥkham āptum. It will be a cause of misery. Yoga-yukto munir brahma. But one who is in dovetail, one who is dovetailed with the Supreme, yoga-yukto munir brahma na cireṇādhigacchati. Brahma. Yoga-yuktaḥ. If I am dovetailed with Kṛṣṇa consciousness, then acireṇa. Acireṇa means very soon I shall realize myself as Brahman. I am Brahman. It is simply question of realization.

Lecture on BG 5.14-22 -- New York, August 28, 1966:

Just like family man. Whatever he earns, if he can spend for the family, then he becomes happy because his affection is there in the family. Similarly, some great man of the country, if he can give some service to the people, to the country, he is... He feels happy. Similarly, a man who is in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, if he gets some opportunity to serve more, I mean to say, accelerately in the service of the Lord, then he feels happy. But not materially.

Lecture on BG 6.13-15 -- Los Angeles, February 16, 1969:

So Gandhi, he invented this method, that "I shall fight with the Britishers, even they become violent, I shall not become violent. So I shall get world sympathy." So this was his plan. He was great statesman. But his determination was so fixed up because he was a brahmacārī. From, at the age of thirty-six years he gave up. He had his wife but he gave up his sex life. He was a family man, he had children, he had his wife. But from the age of thirty-six, young man, a thirty-six year old, he gave up sex life with his wife. That made him so determined, that "I shall drive away these Britishers from the land of India," and he did it. You see? And actually he did it. So controlling the sex life, to refrain from sex life is so powerful. Even if you don't do anything, if you simply restrain your sex life, you become a very powerful man. People do not know the secret. So anything you do, if you want to do it with determination, you have to stop sex life. That is the secret.

Lecture on BG 6.30-34 -- Los Angeles, February 19, 1969:

Viṣṇujana: "People are not serious about self-realization even by simple practical means, what to speak of this difficult yoga system which regulates the mode of living, the manner of sitting, selection of place and detachment of the mind from material engagements. As a practical man, Arjuna thought it was impossible to follow this system of yoga."

Prabhupāda: Yes. He was not prepared to become a pseudoyogi, false, simply by practicing some gymnastic. He was not a pretender. He said that, "I am a family man, I am a soldier, so it is not possible for me." He frankly admits. He does not ... something which is impossible. That is simply a useless waste of time. Why should one do that?

Lecture on BG 7.3 -- Montreal, June 3, 1968:

Because in this material world, the enjoyment, the highest enjoyment one can perceive, that is sex. Therefore in the material world those who are materialists, they are trying to exact happiness simply by that sex life. You'll find so many pictures, naked pictures, this picture, that picture. Why? Because they have no other information of happiness. That is the happiness. They have no other information. In many places this sex enjoyment is duplicated. In another place it is stated, yan-maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). The gṛhamedhi, the so-called family men, they are working hard and so hard. Why? Because they have got that point of happiness, sex happiness. That's all.

Lecture on BG 9.4-7 -- New York, November 24, 1966:

Formerly, the boys were so gentle. And still, there are many boys like that. So the old man also thought that "No, I am obliged to you. I must reward you." So he promised that "I shall get you married with my youngest daughter." Now, the old man was very rich man, and the young man was not rich. He was poor. Although he was brāhmaṇa, learned. So he said that "You are promising. You don't promise this because your kinsmen, your family men will not agree. I am poor man, and you are rich man. You are aristocratic. So it will be not. This marriage will not take place. Don't promise in that way before the Deity. It is not good because Deity is there." But he was firm faith that "Kṛṣṇa is hearing," because the talks were going on in the temple. "So it will not be fulfilled." "No." The old man became still more persistent. "No, my daughter I shall offer you. Who can forbid me?"

Lecture on BG 9.26-27 -- New York, December 16, 1966:

Now, every human being, he has got a philanthropic view. Now, the other day I met one gentleman. So I did not know that he is not a family man because in India we are supposed to accept anyone, any gentleman, as family man. So he said, "Yes, I am not family man." Then what he is doing? He is earning nicely, but he is helping one orphanage. That's nice. He said that "I have got many sons in this orphanage." That is very good. So this natural inclination for loving an orphanage is there, is there. So this give and take, this inclination, is there in the human being.

Lecture on BG 13.8-12 -- Bombay, September 30, 1973:

We are indebted to so many persons: devatās, deva, ṛṣi, devarṣi, bhūta, living entities, nṛṇām, human society. devarṣi-bhūtāpta. Our family men, our friends. Devarṣi-bhūtāpta-nṛṇāṁ pitṛṇām (SB 11.5.41). Pitṛloka, pitṛ-piṇḍa. We are indebted in so many ways. It is very difficult to liquidate all these debts. It is very difficult. But if one surrenders to Kṛṣṇa, sarvātmanā yaḥ śaraṇaṁ śaraṇyaṁ gato mukundam. If one has surrendered fully to Mukunda, parihṛtya kārtam. There are so many duties. Therefore Kṛṣṇa assures that "If you surrender to Me..." If you think that you have not worshiped others, and if you are sinful thereby, Kṛṣṇa says, mā śucaḥ, ahaṁ tvāṁ sarva-pāpebhyo mokṣayiṣyāmi: (BG 18.66) "I shall give you protection."

Lecture on BG 18.45 -- Durban, October 11, 1975:

There is no question of any sect, any nation or any party, no, as human being. As human being or living being, what is our dharma? Dharma is to render service. Every one of us is rendering service. As a family man, he is rendering service, as a society man, as a national—everyone is, whatever... Or occupation. As a medical man, you are also offering your service. As engineer, you are offering your service, or any other, businessman, you are also. Sometimes businessmen, they hang the signboard, "Our first business is to offer you service." So everyone is engaged in giving service to somebody else. This is called dharma, basic principle of dharma. So what is our dharma, living entity? Our dharma is to render service.

Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures

Lecture on SB 1.2.1 -- New Vrindaban, September 1, 1972:

So God is more anxious to take us back to home, back to Godhead. Why? Sac-cid-ānanda-vigrahaḥ (Bs. 5.1). Ānanda, ānanda means blissfulness. Ānanda, pleasure. You cannot enjoy pleasure alone. It must be many. There must be many. When a man takes the risk of becoming family man He's alone, there's no botheration, but he takes the responsibility of maintaining a wife, children and working very hard for maintaining them. Why this botheration? No, this is not botheration. There is pleasure. This is not botheration. Botheration means when I cannot maintain my wife, I cannot maintain children, then it is bother. Otherwise everyone wants that I live in a nice family home with my children, wife and good income, "I shall be very happy". For this reason one takes the risk marrying. There is pleasure there. Therefore God is never alone.

Lecture on SB 1.2.5 -- Visakhapatnam, February 20, 1972, At Ladies Club:

Our heart is filled up with dirty things. The dirty things is misunderstanding. The first misunderstanding is accepting, identifying oneself with this body: "I am this body," "I am American," "I am Indian," "I am Hindu," "I am Muslim," "I am Christian," "I am this," "I am that." This identification is one of the greatest misunderstanding, and when Kṛṣṇa began His teaching in the Bhagavad-gītā, He first... Because Arjuna accepted Him a his spiritual master. In the beginning he was talking like friend, but when the questions were not solved, Arjuna accepted Kṛṣṇa as his spiritual master, śiṣyas te 'haṁ śādhi māṁ prapannam (BG 2.7). At that time, when Kṛṣṇa was accepted by Arjuna as his spiritual master, He first of all chastised him. He said, aśocyān anvaśocas tvaṁ prajñā-vādāṁś ca bhāṣase (BG 2.11). Because Kṛṣṇa..., Arjuna was talking as a family man, so therefore He first of all chastised him that "You are talking from a low-grade platform, but you are talking just like a learned man. You are not learned." Gatāsūn agatāsūṁś ca nānuśocanti paṇḍitāḥ. "You are not talking like a learned man." That means Kṛṣṇa indirectly said that "You are a fool. You do not know what is your identification."

Lecture on SB 1.2.5 -- Visakhapatnam, February 20, 1972, At Ladies Club:

In Europe and America I have seen, very few men are family men, you see, because it is botheration. They think it is botheration or it is very heavy task. Actually, in their country it is very heavy task by so many laws and so many conventions. So they avoid marriage. So therefore, in the symptoms of Kali-yuga it has been stated, dākṣyaṁ kuṭumba-bharanam. Kuṭumba means family. If one can maintain his family, he is to be considered as very successful. No, he hasn't got to make dākṣa-yajña, or naradeva-yajña, or so many yajña. No. That he has no means. This is the position. Mandaḥ sumanda-matayo (SB 1.1.10). And if anyone wants to accept something for spiritual, that is sumanda-matayo, something bogus. He will accept something bogus which has no spiritual, I mean to say, reference. He will accept, "I have... I have got this religion." Mandaḥ sumanda-matayo manda-bhāgyā. Because they're all unfortunate, and upadrutāḥ, and always disturbed and anxious by so many external affairs.

Lecture on SB 1.2.6 -- Delhi, November 12, 1973:

So Kṛṣṇa said to Arjuna that at the present moment the paramparā system is now lost. Yogo naṣṭaḥ parantapa. Sa kāleneha yogo naṣṭaḥ parantapa. "It is the paramparā system has been lost because there have been so many interpretation, wrong interpretation. Therefore I am selecting you to make again paramparā." Bhakto 'si sakhā ceti. "Why You are entrusting me? I am not a Vedantist. I am not a sannyāsī. I am not very learned scholar. I am military man. So why You are trying to give the instruction of Bhagavad-gītā unto me?" This question may be raised. Because Arjuna was a family man. He was not a sannyāsī, neither he was a Vedantist. A military man is not expected to become a Vedantist. Kṣatriya, he knows how to fight. And Kṛṣṇa says that "I will speak to you." Why? Bhakto 'si priyo 'si me: (BG 4.3) "You are My dear friend. Therefore I shall tell you." So this is the process of understanding: you have to become dear friend of Kṛṣṇa. Then you will understand Bhagavad-gītā. Otherwise, for thousands of years you may go on reading Bhagavad-gītā; you will not learn even a word of it. That is the secret. Evaṁ paramparā-prāptam imaṁ rājarṣayo viduḥ (BG 4.2).

Lecture on SB 1.2.8 -- Vrndavana, October 19, 1972:

Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura says,

mānasa deho geho jo kichu mor
arpiluṅ tuwā pade nanda-kiśor

He was family man. So he surrendered everything: his body, his mind, his family, his children, everything under Kṛṣṇa.

mānasa deho geho jo kichu mor
arpiluṅ tuwā pade nanda-kiśor

Mārobi rākhobi jo icchā tohārā... In this way, there is a nice song. So you cannot take charge of your family, society or community or country. No. Prakṛteḥ kriyamāṇāni guṇaiḥ karmāṇi sarvaśaḥ (BG 3.27). Everything is going on under the influence of different modes of material nature.

Lecture on SB 1.2.9-10 -- Delhi, November 14, 1973:

So our only request is that don't take this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement as some sentimental religious propaganda. No, no. It is not religious. It is scientific. It is to save the human society from gliding down to the abominable condition. Adānta-gobhir viśatāṁ tamisraṁ punaḥ punaś carvita-carvaṇānām (SB 7.5.30). Bhāgavata says, adanta-gobhiḥ. Na te viduḥ svārtha-gatiṁ hi viṣṇum (SB 7.5.31). Adānta. The verse is: matir na kṛṣṇe parataḥ svato vā. Matir na kṛṣṇe parataḥ svato vā mitho 'bhipadyeta gṛha-vratānām. Those who are gṛha-vrata, means simply materialistic or simply this life, this body, "I am this body, and the offsprings of this body, they are my kinsmen. I have to maintain them," or expanding: "They are my kinsmen, they are my family men, they are my nation," this is called gṛhamedhi. So such gṛhamedhi, matir na kṛṣṇe, they cannot understand what is Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Matir na kṛṣṇe parataḥ svato vā.

Lecture on SB 1.3.1 -- Vrndavana, November 14, 1972:

So ass politician, ass family man, ass community leader. So... All asses, mūḍhāḥ. Na māṁ prapadyante mūḍhāḥ. All asses. They'll not surrender to Kṛṣṇa to get relief. They'll work like ass. Therefore Kṛṣṇa says, na māṁ prapadyante mūḍhāḥ duṣkṛtino narādhamāḥ (BG 7.15). They have no brain, alpa-medhasaḥ. No brain substance. Filled up with cow dung. And those who have got real brain, then, for them it is recommended: saṅkīrtana-prāyaiḥ, yajñaiḥ saṅkīrtana-prāyair yajanti hi su-medhasaḥ.

Lecture on SB 1.7.22 -- Vrndavana, September 18, 1976:

Many times we have discussed. And coming, from the very moment the child is crying, there is inconveniences. So many things he cannot express. In this way, within the womb there is suffering, out of the womb there is suffering. Then growing, child or baby or boy, there are so many sufferings. Then young man—suppose he becomes family man—then earn for the family. That is also suffering. Then old man, disease, inability, many, many thoughts, that is also suffering. And again death is suffering. At the time of death nobody knows what will happen. Recently one of our Godbrothers has died. He was suffering that he... Some glucose food was being supplied through the nose, and with that, what is called? Taking out the...? That also another suffering. Forcibly taking out the urine, cannot speak anything. So this is suffering. This is called saṁsṛti. We are so foolish we do not know that this material existence is suffering. They are simply struggle for existence. Manaḥ ṣaṣṭhānīndriyāṇi prakṛti-sthāni karṣati (BG 15.7). Simply a struggle. There is no happiness.

Lecture on SB 1.8.36 -- Mayapura, October 16, 1974:

Generally, as I have already explained, that a man works very hard to get some money, some good bank balance, so that in old age he can live very peacefully, without any disturbance. Of course, that is not possible because at that time he may have money, but he is full of anxieties. A family man, old man, is always cintā-magna, cintā-magna, as "This boy is not well-situated. That boy has not educated... His education is not yet finished. And that girl has lost his husband. Husbands are rejected." Where is the peace? There cannot be peace. Kliśyanti. Again he tries to adjust that boy, that girl, that grandchildren, that..., going on. Therefore Śaṅkarācārya, he has said, bālas tāvat kriyāsaktaḥ.(?) The children, they are very working hard for playing. They're also getting perspiration, but they are taking pleasure in jumping and this way and that way.

Lecture on SB 1.15.22-23 -- Los Angeles, December 2, 1973:

So Vaiṣṇava is kind. Arjuna, he said, "My dear Kṛṣṇa, whatever they have done, that doesn't matter. I cannot kill my family men. Please excuse." So just see. Arjuna is kind because he is Vaiṣṇava. But Kṛṣṇa cannot tolerate. Kṛṣṇa said, "You must kill them. That is My order. You must kill them." Then he argued with Kṛṣṇa in so many ways: "There will be so much sin. There will be this, there will be that." Then He preached Bhagavad-gītā, and at last He said that "Arjuna, you are thinking that you shall, by not fighting, you shall be able to save your family men, kinsmen. That is not possible. That is not possible. They are already killed. It is all My plan. They will never return home. If you kill them, then you take the credit.

Lecture on SB 2.1.1 -- Vrndavana, March 16, 1974:

One has to control. If one is busy only family matters... What is this family? It is simply sense gratification, sexual intercourse. Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). So if one is engaged in these family affairs only, sexual affairs, he's not a gosvāmī. Gosvāmī means who has, one who has... Wherefrom this gosvāmī comes? Rūpa Gosvāmī. Vande rūpa-sanātanau raghu-yugau śrī-jīva... They, they were not family men. They were not in sense gratification. They were in the service of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu and Kṛṣṇa. That is gosvāmī. We must know what is gosvāmī. Loka-hitaṁ ratam. Everyone who is on behalf of Kṛṣṇa, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, is engaged to preach Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, Bhagavad-gītā, throughout the whole world... Pṛthivīṁ sa śiṣyāt. A gosvāmī means he must have disciples all over the world. That is gosvāmī. Not that within some area. These are the things.

Lecture on SB 2.1.1-5 -- Boston, December 22, 1969:

So the subject matter for hearing for the ordinary person, those who are engaged in family matters, gṛheṣu gṛha-medhinām... So does it mean to become a family man is bad? No. It does not mean. But if you become gṛhamedhī, that is particularly said, gṛheṣu gṛhamedhī. Gṛheṣu, living in family life, but in family life there are also two classes of men: gṛhastha and these gṛhamedhī. Therefore I say that each and every word of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, you will have new enlightening, new. Difference, there is difference between gṛhastha and gṛhamedhī. Gṛhamedhī, just like ordinary persons, their household life means they have made the home as the center of their existence.

Lecture on SB 2.1.1-5 -- Melbourne, June 26, 1974:

So what should be our occupational duty? Sad-dharma. Sad-dharma means... Sat means eternal. Real occupational duty... Now I am working as American or others working as Indian or German or Englishmen, or this family men. Everyone has got some occupational duty. But this occupational duty... Suppose I am working as American or European or Australian. This is temporary, because this body is temporary. And I am in bodily concept of life. Therefore my duty, so-called duty, is also temporary. As soon as the body is finished, I begin another chapter of duty. Suppose this life I am human being; next life I may not be human being. This statement was not liked by the newspaper man. (laughing) He was told that next life you can become animal, so he has published in my name, "The swami can become animal." Also the swami can become also animal. The so-called swami, they will become animal. (laughter) So that is not wrong. But we devotees, we are not afraid of becoming animal. Our only ambition is that we become Kṛṣṇa conscious.

Lecture on SB 2.1.3 -- Paris, June 12, 1974:

Although it is not very nice apartment, but he has got home. That means even in material life, if one has got peaceful home, then he..., there is something. But even that is now not possible in the modern, artificial civilization. Nobody has family. Nobody has got home. So how they are happy? So anyway, it is going on. Divā ca artha īhayā. Artha means money. So... Rājan kuṭumba-bharaṇena vā. So in this way, everyone is going on.

Then the next verse says,

dehāpatya-kalatrādiṣv
ātma-sainyeṣv asatsv api
teṣāṁ pramatto nidhanaṁ
paśyann api na paśyati
(SB 2.1.4)

So these family men, may be a big man or a ṭhelā walla, it doesn't matter—everyone has got family. Even the dog has got family. Dog has got also wife, and some cubs also.

Lecture on SB 2.1.3 -- Paris, June 12, 1974:

Deha means body, and apatya means children. Apatya. So those who are family men... Those who are not family men, their question is different. They are not even human beings. Ordinarily, the Vedic process is that first of all you try to remain without family, alone. Be independent, no cares, no anxieties. You can lie down here, or whatever you can eat, that's all. But be spiritually advanced. That is called brahmacārī life. Brahmacārī means... Brahma means Absolute Truth. And cārī means who is, whose business is only with Brahman, ahaṁ brahmāsmi, with spiritual advancement of life. That is called brahmacārī. And he has no interest with anything material. He's, at least, educated in that way, that "Actually, you have no interest with these material things. You are, you should be interested only for your spiritual advancement. This is the opportunity."

Lecture on SB 3.26.27 -- Bombay, January 4, 1975:

So when Kṛṣṇa advised Arjuna to practice yoga for controlling the mind in the Sixth Chapter of the Bhagavad-gītā, Arjuna refused. Arjuna said, "My dear Kṛṣṇa, You are advising me to control the mind by practicing yoga, but I have no such opportunity because I am a family man. I am also politician, royal family. I have to see things, administration of the kingdom. And besides that, in family life I have to seek for my material interest. So how it is possible for me to control the mind?" So he flatly said,

cañcalaṁ hi manaḥ kṛṣṇa
pramāthi balavad dṛḍham
tasyāhaṁ nigrahaṁ manye
vāyor iva suduṣkaram
(BG 6.34)

"My dear Kṛṣṇa, I think the mind is very, very restless." Cañcalaṁ hi manaḥ kṛṣṇa. Pramāthi: "as madman." As madman is always restless... "And very strong. I want to control the mind, but it does not come under control. So this is the position. Therefore, You are asking me to control the mind..." Tasya ahaṁ nigrahaṁ manye vāyor iva suduṣkaram: "I think it is more difficult than controlling the wind." Suppose there is very strong wind, and if you want to stop it, you see, it is not possible. There is cyclone.

Lecture on SB 5.5.1 -- Tittenhurst, London, September 12, 1969:

Therefore the king, Ṛṣabhadeva, is advising, instructing His sons... He was retiring. Why He was retiring? He could enjoy His kingdom. Just like at the present moment, either a king or a family man does not retire. Even a poor man living in with family with great difficulties, but if you ask him to retire, he'll not be agreeable. We have asked many old men. He's suffering, he's not happy within his family members, but if I say, "Why you are taking so much trouble with the family? Why not come and live with us in Kṛṣṇa consciousness society?" he'll not agree. Because he has no Vedic training. Up to the end of this life he'll stick to the family life. Many, many politicians... In our country we have seen many old politicians, seventy-five years old, eighty years old. Not only in our country, in other countries also.

Lecture on SB 5.5.1-2 -- London (Tittenhurst), September 13, 1969:

This is the program of Vedic civilization. You'll find great scholars, Vyāsadeva... There is no comparison of his scholarship, how many... Now, this Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, he has written eighteen thousand verses. And not only Śrīmad-... He has written eighteen Purāṇas. Out of eighteen Purāṇas the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam is one Purāṇa. And in one Purāṇa you find eighteen thousand verses, and each and every word is so meaningful that you study throughout your whole life, oh, still you'll find refreshed. Why this Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam? There is Mahābhārata. And out of the Mahābhārata the Bhagavad-gītā is only one chapter, seven hundred verses. Such a great scholar was living in a cottage. You see. Not only that. He was, of course, brāhmaṇa, he was saintly... But he was family man. He had his wife, he had his children.

Lecture on SB 5.5.3 -- Boston, May 4, 1968:

Just like in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam there are description of great..., twelve great souls. Twelve great souls. They are just like svayambhūr nāradaḥ śambhuḥ kumāraḥ kapilo manuḥ (SB 6.3.20). Svayambhū means Brahmā. But he was also family man. And Nārada, he was renounced. He was brahmacārī. So there are twelve different description of mahātmās. Out of that, about seven personalities were all householders, but still they are accepted as great souls. Just like Bali Mahārāja and Prahlāda Mahārāja and Svayambhū, Brahmā. So out of this list of twelve persons, seven persons are gṛhasthas, householders. It does not mean that one, because he is householder, he cannot become a mahātmā, great soul.

Lecture on SB 5.5.3 -- Hyderabad, April 15, 1975:

So any gṛhastha, whose only aim is how to keep friendship with Kṛṣṇa, he is also mahat, mahātmā. He also mahat, because the recommendation, mahat-sevāṁ dvāram āhur vimuktes (SB 5.5.2). One has to take shelter of a mahātmā, and serve him with surrender, then his path of liberation will be open. So, if somebody says—I think the other day somebody was questioning—that "If I cannot contact sannyāsī because I am gṛhastha, I am family man, so how my path of liberation will be open?" Yes, that is possible provided you find amongst your society a person like this, ye va mayīśe kṛta-sauhṛdārthā. If you can find out amongst your associate, a person who is only dedicated to Kṛṣṇa, you can associate with him. Then your path of liberation will be open.

Lecture on SB 5.5.3 -- Hyderabad, April 15, 1975:

Just now we explained. ye vā mayīśe kṛta-sauhṛdārthā, you keep your intimate relationship with Kṛṣṇa. It doesn't matter whether you are in family or without family. It doesn't matter. Just like I have given already example. Arjuna, he is a family man, he is not a sannyāsī. Not only family man, a military man, and politician, but he was prepared to sacrifice everything for Kṛṣṇa. That is wanted. If you do not become a family man, so what is the gain there? Or if you remain a sannyāsī, if you have no Kṛṣṇa consciousness, just like you said, "So many swamis they want to become Kṛṣṇa instead of becoming devotee of Kṛṣṇa." So this kind of sannyāsī is also useless. Similarly, gṛhastha, if he's simply attached to family, that is also useless. Any condition of life, if you remain fixed-up with Kṛṣṇa consciousness, that is your perfection of life. Yei kṛṣṇa-tattva-vettā, sei 'guru' haya (CC Madhya 8.128). Anyone who is fully Kṛṣṇa conscious and fixed-up in devotional service, knowing fully well what is Kṛṣṇa, he is guru. It doesn't matter whether he is a sannyāsī, or gṛhastha or brāhmaṇa, and śūdra. It doesn't matter.

Lecture on SB 6.1.6-8 -- New York, July 21, 1971:

Just like Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura. He was a family man, magistrate. Still, he executed devotional service so nicely. Dhruva Mahārāja, Prahlāda Mahārāja, they are, they were gṛhastha, householders, but they trained themselves in such a nice way that even householder, as a householder, there was no interruption. Just like Prahlāda Mahārāja said that "I have learned the art, how to remain always in Kṛṣṇa consciousness." What is that? Tvad-vīrya-gāyana-mahāmṛta: "Simply glorifying the," I mean to, "the victorious activities, pastimes of the Lord." Tvad-vīrya. Vīrya means very strenuous, very heroic. Vīrya means heroic. So Kṛṣṇa's activities are all heroic. You can read from Kṛṣṇa book. Tvad-vīrya-gāyana. Kṛṣṇa's name, Kṛṣṇa's fame, Kṛṣṇa's activities, Kṛṣṇa's associates—everything is heroic.

Lecture on SB 6.1.10 -- Los Angeles, June 23, 1975:

Except Kṛṣṇa consciousness, it is not possible to control the mind. If you can Now, it is the business of everyone If he wants to be the first-class man in the society, brāhmaṇa, the qualification is śamo damas satyaṁ śaucaṁ titikṣva. These are the brāhmaṇa Śamaḥ means controlling the mind. Even Arjuna, he said to Kṛṣṇa when Kṛṣṇa was teaching him the process of mystic yoga and control the mind Five thousand years ago Arjuna A person like Arjuna is not ordinary person. He is talking with Kṛṣṇa. So still he says, "My dear Kṛṣṇa, this is not possible for me. I am a family man and a politician. I cannot control my mind. It is not possible." So nowadays, after five thousand years when Arjuna thought himself incapable of controlling the mind by the so-called yogic process, how it is possible now—this world has so much deteriorated—to practice this meditation and yoga process and control the mind? It is impossible. That is not possible. It is simply humbug.

Lecture on SB 6.1.22 -- Honolulu, May 22, 1976:

This is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's movement. He did not like hypocrisy. Nobody likes. But for a person who is seriously engaged in Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement, for him sex life and material opulence is not very good. That is Caitanya Mahāprabhu opinion. Parāṁ paraṁ jigamiṣor bhava... Niṣkiñcanasya bhajanonmukhasya parāṁ param... Therefore voluntarily Caitanya Mahāprabhu accepted sannyāsa. He was very nicely situated in his family life, and He was family man, He married twice. One wife died and He married again. So Caitanya Mahāprabhu taught us not to become, but when He took sannyāsa He was very, very strict. No woman could come very near to Him. From distance. This is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's teaching.

Lecture on SB 6.1.23 -- Honolulu, May 23, 1976:

This is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's movement. He did not like hypocrisy. Nobody likes. But for a person who is seriously engaged in Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement, for him sex life and material opulence is not very good. That is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's opinion. Pāraṁ paraṁ jigamiṣor bhava..., niṣkiñcanasya bhajanonmukhasya, pāraṁ param... Therefore voluntarily Caitanya Mahāprabhu accepted sannyāsa. He was very nicely situated in His family life. When He was family man, He married twice. One wife died; He married again. So Caitanya Mahāprabhu taught us not to become... But when He took sannyāsa, He was very, very strict. No woman could come very near to Him. From distance... This is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's teaching. So you have to follow strictly the rules and regulation. If you are serious, then this is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's movement.

Lecture on SB 6.1.24 -- Chicago, July 8, 1975:

Just like sannyāsa-āśrama. Āśrama means where there is activities, spiritual. That is called āśrama. So if you remain as gṛhastha or family man, there is no harm. But utilize for advancement of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Then you are gṛhastha. And if you do not know that, if you simply remain a family man for satisfying your senses and begetting children up to the point of death, that is called gṛhamedhī. These two words. Apaśyatām ātma-tattvaṁ gṛheṣu gṛhamedhinām (SB 2.1.2). So one should not be gṛhamedhī. One may become gṛhastha. That is the difference.

Lecture on SB 6.1.24 -- Chicago, July 8, 1975:

So this man, Ajāmila, was not a gṛhastha because his beginning of life is that he gave up his married life. He was married with nice wife, coming from respectable family, but he gave up that, and he was attached to a maidservant. And he gave up his real family life. He became a family man with this maidservant, and go on begetting children. That was his life. Therefore this word is used particularly, tasya pravayasaḥ. He was old enough; still, he was begetting child. But one who is brāhmaṇa, he would not stay in family life more than fiftieth year. Pañcāśordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet. One must go to the forest. Forest means vana, and therefore, one who goes to the forest, from the word vana, it is vāna, vānaprastha. Prastha mean one who has gone. This is regulative life. One has to take leave from this family life and accept the vānaprastha. Vānaprastha means prior to accepting the renounced order of life.

Lecture on SB 6.1.50 -- Detroit, June 16, 1976:

Just like a nationalist, a family man, he is doing always something for the welfare of the family. Or for the welfare of the society. Or a big, big nationalist, leaders. Why they become big leaders? Why they are worshiped? Because they are thinking always of the nation, of the community. That is good. But a Vaiṣṇava is not only thinking of the community or society or family, he is thinking of all living entities. That is Vaiṣṇava. Lokānāṁ hita-kāriṇau, all planets. That is Vaiṣṇava. Nānā-śāstra vicāraṇaika nipuṇau sad-dharma-saṁsthāpakau lokānāṁ hita-kāriṇau tri-bhuvane mānyau śaraṇyākarau. This is Vaiṣṇava business. They are not thinking for a particular... That includes, Kṛṣṇa includes everything. So if you think of Kṛṣṇa, then automatically you'll think of everything.

Lecture on SB 7.6.8 -- New Vrindaban, June 24, 1976:

So family attachment is the greatest impediment in the matter of advancing in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, but if the whole family is Kṛṣṇa conscious, that is very nice. Just like Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura. He was a family man, but all of the, Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, his wife, his children—and the best children is our Guru Mahārāja, best child... So he has sung by his experience, ye dina gṛhe bhajana dekhi gṛhete goloka bhaya. If family-wise, everyone is engaged in Kṛṣṇa's service, that is very nice. That is not ordinary family. That attachment is not ordinary attachment. But generally people are attached materially. That is condemned here. Śeṣaṁ gṛheṣu saktasya pramattasya apayāti hi. They are called pramatta. Everyone is thinking that "My family, my wife, my children, my nation, my community, that is everything. What is Kṛṣṇa?" This is the greatest illusion imposed by māyā. But nobody will able to give you protection.

Lecture on SB 7.6.9-17 -- San Francisco, March 31, 1969:

Now, that does not mean that Prahlāda Mahārāja is recommending to neglect the, this family life or society and... No. He was family man. Prahlāda Mahārāja was a great king. He was ruling over. So it is not the question of neglect. But we must know that if we become more and more entangled in these affairs, then our real business will be lost. Our real business is how to get out of this entanglement, not to be more and more, I mean to say, implicated in this entanglement. That should be the point of view: to make the best use of a bad bargain. That should be the philosophy of life. We are put into this material existential condition, and we have to get out. But at the same time, so far, so long this material body is there, we have to maintain it also.

Lecture on SB 7.6.10 -- Vrndavana, December 12, 1975:

So on account of this deep affection for maintaining family, everyone is risking life. The example is given here that taskaraḥ. There are many professional thieves, any country, India also. They are family men—not they are loafers—but their business is to steal. Their business is to steal. Why? They steal, they know it is risky,. He has heard it that "If you steal you'll be arrested, you'll be put into jail." Knowledge is gathered by hearing and by seeing. Hm? In Hindi it is called 'dekha śuna'-dekhavyair śunavyair, that "Have you seen or heard it?" That is experience. So thief knows he has heard it from lawbooks that stealing is not good, and from religious scripture also, that "It is sinful. Do not commit theft. Do not become criminal." But still he does, at the risk of ad At night he goes in the house of rich man and risk his life.

Lecture on SB 7.6.14 -- New Vrindaban, June 28, 1976:

So therefore our mission of life is how to get out of this tāpa-traya, and Prahlāda Mahārāja is giving description how we remain involved in tāpa-traya. Sarvatra tāpa-traya-duḥkhitātmā. Repeatedly, tāpa-traya, na nirvidyate sva-kuṭumba-rāmaḥ. Especially those who are family men, it is very difficult. Therefore according to Vedic civilization, after fiftieth year, one should give up the family responsibility, vānaprastha. From vana, vana means forest. And from vana the word vana has come. Prastha means "who has gone." Pañcaśordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet. Vanaṁ vrajet means to free from all family responsibility and prepare for going back to home, back to Godhead.

Lecture on SB 7.6.14 -- New Vrindaban, June 28, 1976:

A family man is interested with his family members, and a political leader is interested with the whole, a group of family. The principle is the same. Ordinary family man, he's looking after three, four members of the family, and a political leader is thinking that he's responsible for so many millions of men. The idea is the same: the extended family. But extended or diminished family, sva-kuṭumba-rāmaḥ, he's thinking, "I have to do something for them." But when death comes, you are unable to do anything, you have to immediately leave the scene, and according to the laws of nature you'll have to accept a body according to your karma. This is the law of nature.

Lecture on SB 7.7.25-28 -- San Francisco, March 13, 1967:

Although it is just like dream, say, ten years before or twenty years before, oh, I was in India. I was a family man. I was sitting with my wife and children and doing something else. Now that thing is now dream. So we are passing... Just like at night we dream something, so this is also another kind of dream, because this is concrete dream, and at night we see abstract dream. The quality is dream. Sometimes we are in abstract dream, and sometimes we are in concrete dream. This is also dream. We do not know how many lives we have passed before this, hundreds and thousands and millions.

Lecture on SB 7.9.39 -- Mayapur, March 17, 1976:

Without controlling the mind, there is no question of spiritual advancement. Therefore Kṛṣṇa advised to Arjuna that "You practice yoga," in the Sixth Chapter, "so that you'll be able to control the mind." But Arjuna said that "Control the mind is very difficult for me, Kṛṣṇa. I cannot practice this yoga system." Cañcalaṁ hi manaḥ kṛṣṇa pramāthi balavad dṛḍham: (BG 6.34) "Mind is very restless, and it is very difficult to control." Tasyāhaṁ nigrahaṁ manye vāyor iva suduṣkaram: "I think to control the mind is still more difficult than to control the wind." Nobody can control the wind. So Kṛṣṇa... Arjuna said, "Even though I am able to control the wind, I cannot control my mind. It is so strong." So Kṛṣṇa recommended... Kṛṣṇa not discouraged Arjuna. Arjuna is a family man, and he went to the war field to gain his victory. So everyone is engaged in some such engagement, occupational duty, brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya, in this world. And so mind is very difficult to control.

Nectar of Devotion Lectures

The Nectar of Devotion -- Bombay, January 9, 1973:

This is anyathā rūpa. Our, this change of body, that is our anyathā rūpa. We must be fixed up in our own rūpa, svarūpa. Svarūpa-siddhi. It is called svarūpa-siddhi. Svarūpa-siddhi means to be engaged in the service of Lord. That is real mukti, mukti hitvā anyathā rūpaṁ sva-rūpeṇa vyavasthitiḥ. Purification. Sarvopādhi-vinirmuktam (CC Madhya 19.170). One has to become free from all designations. We are designated now. I am working as American, I am working as family man, I am working as this, that. These are all designations. When I shall work as eternal servant of Kṛṣṇa, that is real mukti. That is Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

The Nectar of Devotion -- Vrndavana, November 4, 1972:

Therefore the subject matter is relief from material distress. If you take to Kṛṣṇa consciousness without any motive, sincerely, then your position is secured. Kṛṣṇa takes charge of you. Kaunteya pratijānīhi na me bhaktaḥ praṇaśyati (BG 9.31). His devotee will never be vanquished. Just like Arjuna. Arjuna was considering how he could kill his kinsmen, his familymen, his nephew, his brother, his grandfather, on the other side. Actually, this killing business is not very good. It is sinful. But the same thing he committed after understanding Bhagavad-gītā. He agreed: kariṣye vacanaṁ tava (BG 18.73). "Yes, I shall fight." So does it mean...? In the beginning he was considering about the sinful effects of his activities. Why did he engage himself in the same business although he knew this is sinful? No. If you... Even it is acted so-called sinful activities, for Kṛṣṇa, under the order of Kṛṣṇa, for pleasing Kṛṣṇa, then that is also devotion. It is very difficult. We should not manufacture such concoction.

Sri Caitanya-caritamrta Lectures

Lecture on CC Adi-lila 7.2 -- Mayapur, March 2, 1974:

Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, he has sung a song, jīv kṛṣṇa dāsa ei viśvās korle to ār duḥkha nāi. This is the solution. Everyone is thinking to become the master, prabhu. Prabhu you can become. That is not, I mean to say, extraordinary. Someway or other we are prabhus. Suppose I am a family man. I am managing my family, my wife, my children, my servants, my subordinates, so I may be prabhu. In that sense I am a small prabhu. Similarly, everyone is prabhu, he has got some subordinates. But there is the supreme prabhu, the prabhu of all prabhus. So Mahāprabhu is Śrī Kṛṣṇa Caitanya. He's Kṛṣṇa. As it is stated in the Brahma-saṁhitā: īśvaraḥ paramaḥ kṛṣṇaḥ (Bs. 5.1). Īśvara means ruler or controller. So all of us more or less a little controller or ruler, but not the absolute ruler. The absolute ruler is Kṛṣṇa. Similarly, the absolute prabhu, master, is Śrī Kṛṣṇa Caitanya Mahāprabhu.

Lecture on CC Adi-lila 7.108 -- San Francisco, February 18, 1967:

Just like we are in renounced order of life. So we have renounced our family life after thinking something. Now, if somebody comes, "Swamijī, you take thousand millions of dollars and marry again and become a family man," I'll never become, because I have got my bad experience. I'll never become. So if one is intelligent enough, if he has got actually the bitter taste of this material world, he'll never agree. He'll never agree. But those who have not advanced to such knowledge, oh, they think, "Oh, this material enjoyment is very nice. Let me taste it and let me do business in my sannyāsī life, and stealthily and privately, let me enjoy." These things are going on. That means they have no taste.

Lecture on CC Madhya-lila 20.101 -- Washington, D.C., July 6, 1976:

We are, in the material world, we are also busy loving somebody. That is our whole business. Unless one has got family affection, love for wife, children, he cannot work. That is the impetus for economic development. It is admitted by big, big economists. A family man is responsible. Because he has got responsibility to maintain the wife, children, therefore he works hard. That is impetus. So love is there. Unless there is love, you cannot work. That is not possible. So this is material way of life.

Festival Lectures

His Divine Grace Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Gosvami Prabhupada's Disappearance Day, Lecture -- Hyderabad, December 10, 1976:

Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, he was family man. He has several children, sons and daughters. So Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura, known in his previous life as Bimala Prasāda Datta, son of Kedaranath Datta... His father, Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, his name was. He was magistrate and he was manager also, the managing board of Jagannātha Purī. The system is, the local magistrate becomes the official manager of the managing board of Jagannātha Purī. So at that time he was situated in Jagannātha Purī, and Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura appeared at Purī. And the Ratha-yātrā, the Ratha-yātrā ceremony takes place, and sometimes the big ratha stops at interval. So the house in which Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura appeared, in front of that house the ratha stopped. So his mother took the advantage and... Because Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura was magistrate, so the son, the little baby, was brought before the ratha, and the pūjārīs allowed him to bring the child before the Deity, and the child was placed before the Deity and a garland was offered by Jagannātha. So that was the first sign of his becoming the ācārya. In this way there are many incidences.

His Divine Grace Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Gosvami Prabhupada's Disappearance Day, Lecture -- Hyderabad, December 10, 1976:

Forty-three years. So it is better late than never. Yes. So he desired me. I thought, "Now I am a family man. Let me adjust things." I would have accepted immediately, but I was not so intelligent at that time. I thought "My responsibility to family is there. Let me wait." But still, Guru Mahārāja was so kind to me that when I was gṛhastha, I was seeing him in dreaming and I was... He asked me, "You come with me." So I was going, and after that, I was thinking, "Oh, I will have to take sannyāsa and go with him?" So it appeared to me very horrible. I was not very much inclined to take sannyāsa, but Guru Mahārāja is so kind that he ultimately forced me to take sannyāsa and do this work. So it is all his kindness. So this is the memory of his kindness.

Jagannatha Deities Installation Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.2.13-14 -- San Francisco, March 23, 1967:

So Rūpa Gosvāmī, he gave fifty percent to the persons who are working for Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Twenty-five percent he gave to his relatives, because they expect something. If I am a family man, I have got my children, my wife. So they expect something. So they must be given—but twenty-five percent, not all. And twenty-five percent he kept for himself, so that in times of emergency... Because as soon as my money is gone out of my hand, I have no control. We have recently lost six thousand dollars. As soon as the check is out of the hand... Not here, in our New York. So as soon the check is out of hand, now it is gone. It is gone. Therefore we should keep something, because, after all, we have got this material body. Either I pay to Kṛṣṇa... Kṛṣṇa consciousness spent, that cannot be returned. Now, if I give to my relatives something, that is also not returned. Then what to me if I am in danger, if I am in some difficulty? So something must be kept for yourself. So this is the process. So everyone should try.

Initiation Lectures

Initiations and Lecture Sannyasa Initiation of Sudama dasa -- Tokyo, April 30, 1972:

So somebody is engaged n cleansing the temple, somebody is engaged in dressing the Deity, somebody is engaged in cooking for the Deity, somebody is engaged going in Tokyo city for distributing literature, somebody is performing kīrtana here, somebody is reading our various books. In this way we have got twenty-five hours engagement instead of twenty-four hours. So mind cannot go outside Kṛṣṇa. That is called Kṛṣṇa conscious. We don't allow the mind go out of Kṛṣṇa's service. And this is sannyāsa. Practically anyone who is engaged in this Kṛṣṇa consciousness business, he is a sannyāsī. Never mind what is his dress. He may be in a dress of a family man, householder, or he may be in the dress of a sannyāsī—everyone is engaged in Kṛṣṇa's service. Therefore in the essential sense, everyone is sannyāsī. That is described in the Bhagavad-gītā, anāśritaḥ karma-phalaṁ kāryaṁ karma karoti yaḥ, sa sannyāsī (BG 6.1). The Lord Himself is giving the definition of sannyāsī. What is that? Anāśritaḥ karma-phalaṁ. Karma means action. Whatever you do, there must be some reaction. Whatever you do. You do something very pious or do something which is vicious, there will be some resultant action.

General Lectures

Lecture -- Montreal, June 26, 1968:

So tayor mitha hṛdaya-granthim āhur. As soon as a man and woman is combined together, that means the knot of material attraction becomes doubly tightened. Then they want apartment, gṛha. Ato gṛha-kṣetra. Kṣetra means... Of course, nowadays everyone is seeking after employment, but formerly nobody, there was no industry, no big business. Everyone has to produce something, foodstuff, out of the kṣetra, field. So if you become a family man you must have some source of income. That source of income is land, as Rāyarāma was explaining you. Actually the land is the source of income. If you can utilize the land, then there is everything stocked there. This same example can be given. This American land was lying vacant, but since the Europeans took possession of that, at least they have exploited the resources. So everything was on the land. So land is really property.

Northeastern University Lecture -- Boston, April 30, 1969:

Therefore Arjuna, who was being taught by Kṛṣṇa that "You try this practice of transcendental life," but Arjuna said... Arjuna means he was taking this instruction five thousand years ago. He was a royal prince. He was very much advanced in so many things. He said, "My dear Kṛṣṇa, it is not possible to practice this transcendental process of ascending by yoga practice, this haṭha-yoga practice. It is not possible." He refused. He refused that "Because I am a family man, I have come here to fight for my, I mean to say, political interest, how I can practice this system, that I have to go to a solitary place, I have to sit down like this, I have to practice like this, I have to cease from sex life? It is not possible." Just try to understand. So transcendental platform by the haṭha-yoga system, practicing all the rules and regulations, is not possible in this age at all.

Lecture -- New Vrindaban, June 22, 1969:

So this Kṛṣṇa consciousness will give us that opportunity, and those who are gṛhasthas, family men, their duty is to raise their children to this Kṛṣṇa consciousness so that actually the child will have full advantage of having a nice parent, nice father and mother. So this New Vrindaban we have selected to grow a community of such nice father and mother. There is sannyāsī also, brahmacārī, gṛhastha. We have no such distinction. Yei kṛṣṇa bhaje sei guru haya. Anyone who is in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and full in the understanding of science of Kṛṣṇa, he can become a spiritual master, a teacher. So in this Vṛndāvana, New Vrindaban, you should live in such a way, ideal way, that people will learn that what is actually human life, what is human civilization, how, what is, it is meant for. That we have to teach to the world.

Lecture -- London, September 16, 1969:

Lord Kṛṣṇa said that one who acts for the sake of duty, not for enjoying the fruit, when it is possible... Now, if you are family man you have to work for maintaining your family; therefore you have to enjoy the fruits of your work. So this is possible only for a person who had completely dedicated for service of the Lord.

Lecture at Harvard University -- Boston, December 24, 1969:

Of course, in the beginning I said that there is no question of changing your position. In whatever position you are, either you are a student or a lawyer or something else, you can chant Hare Kṛṣṇa and realize yourself. We don't recommend that you change your position. That is not our recommendation. But if you can (be) fully devoted in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, that is very nice. But don't do it whimsically. There will be a mature platform when you can do that. Just like I was a family man, I was living with my family. I have got my wife, sons, daughters, grandchildren. So in this old age I left them. So I'm not in difficulty although I am alone. I came in your country alone. That's a long history. So that dependence on God, when you actually develop, then you can give up everything, depend only on God. But don't do it by whimsically. No. That will not do. You stay in your position, realize yourself, then time will come when God will dictate you, "You can do..., become free from all obligation." So please join with us in the kīrtana.

Lecture -- Tokyo, May 1, 1972:

In this present age, in this Kali-yuga, kalau nāsty eva nāsty eva nāsty eva gatir anyathā, very simple. You may remain a family man. You may remain a renounced man. It is very difficult in the present age. Practically, sannyāsa is forbidden in this age. So you remain (in) your position. But our only request, this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement, that you chant Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa, Hare Hare/ Hare Rāma, Hare Rāma, Rāma Rāma, Hare Hare, and gradually you will be emancipated, liberated. You will get your light. Everything will come one after another.

Lecture at Bharata Chamber of Commerce 'Culture and Business' -- Calcutta, January 30, 1973:

If I give up my designations, if I become purified, that is my real ego. Sarvopādhi-vinirmuktaṁ tat-paratvena nirmalam (CC Madhya 19.170). One has to become nirmala. And when you become nirmala... Hṛṣīkeṇa hṛṣīkeśa sevanaṁ bhaktir ucyate. That is bhakti. So your senses are there. Now with my senses I am thinking that "I am the head of this familyman," "I am head of this community," or "I am..., I have to serve. I have to engage my hand in this way, my eyes in this way, my nose in this way." Senses are engaged in a upādhi, designated. But when this is, designation is taken away, when you become nirmala, the senses remain, the dress of the senses taken away, at that time, your senses are engaged in the service of the Lord, and that is called bhakti.

La Trobe University Lecture -- Melbourne, July 1, 1974:
Actually we are standing on a false platform, understanding this body as the self, and in relationship with the body we are considering, "This country is my country. This man is my family man" or "my national man." So all these bodily concepts of life is based on ignorance, because we do not know soul. Actually the human life is meant for being educated that he is not this body; he is soul. That is the Vedānta-sūtra philosophy, to inquire about the spirit soul. That is our main business. Unfortunately... We are traveling all over the world. There is no institution, no school, no college, no university where this education is given, that "What I am? Am I this body, or I am something else? No. I am something else." So this education can be given through this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement. On the basis of Śrī Bhagavad-gītā, everything is explained very vividly. The soul is eternal.

Philosophy Discussions

Philosophy Discussion on Hegel:

Prabhupāda: What about the family of the animals? They have got family. What does he say? The tiger has got family—he has got his wife, cats.

Śyāmasundara: When man finds himself in the presence of his family members he is able to understand himself by relating with others. So...

Prabhupāda: Relations with others, just like you are a family man, you don't encroach upon other families, this is society law. So the animals, they have got their family. Family, what do you mean by family, husband, wife, also two children, that is family. So the animals, they have got. So why you encroach upon the animal family? What is his answer?

Śyāmasundara: Families, when they relate together in communities, are related by certain laws or rights, that one voluntarily abstains from killing and stealing from other families so that no one will do the same to him.

Prabhupāda: Yes.

Philosophy Discussion on Samuel Alexander:

Prabhupāda: Meditate of Himself. The Māyāvādī has taken like that. But He has no more, anybody higher than Him, so He has to meditate upon Himself.

Hayagrīva: He does meditate upon Himself.

Prabhupāda: Just to teach us. In the, as a family man, He in the morning He was meditating.

Hayagrīva: Oh.

Prabhupāda: Yes. Gṛhastha. So He was meditating upon Himself.

Purports to Songs

Purport to Bhajahu Re Mana -- New York, March 30, 1966:

He says that "I am working hard, day and night. And there is no question of winter or summer or rainy season. I have to work hard, day and night. If there is night duty in the winter season, I have to join my office at twelve o'clock at night. So I must go. There is snowfall. If I don't go, then I'll be absent. So I am working so hard, very hard." Śīta ātapa bāta bariṣaṇa, jāminī jāgi re. "And what for I am working?" Now, biphale sevinu kṛpaṇa durajana: "Just to serve persons who cannot protect me, who cannot protect me." We think that my wife, or my husband, or my children, or my relatives, or my friends, and, oh, so many we have got, relationship with this material world And everyone is working to satisfy his relatives. A family man is working so hard because he has to satisfy his wife, children, friends and so many other persons. But one should be conscious that "These friends and relatives, they cannot protect me ultimately. They are Neither I can protect them, nor they can protect me." You see? Everyone responsible. Everyone is responsible for his own activities.

Page Title:Family man (Lectures)
Compiler:Visnu Murti, Serene
Created:30 of Dec, 2011
Totals by Section:BG=0, SB=0, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=89, Con=0, Let=0
No. of Quotes:89