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Family attachment (Lectures)

Expressions researched:
"attach to family" |"attached family" |"attached in family" |"attached person in family" |"attached to family" |"attached to his family" |"attached to illusory family" |"attached to my family" |"attached to the family" |"attached to this family" |"attached" |"attached, family" |"attachment for His family" |"attachment for family" |"attachment to family" |"attachment to the family" |"attachment to their family" |"attachment" |"family attachment" |"family"

Notes from the compiler: VedaBase query: "attach* family"@10

Lectures

Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures

Lecture on BG 1.26-27 -- London, July 21, 1973:

The upside has gone downside. You have seen the reflection of the tree. So the upside, downside. When the upside of the tree becomes downside, that is called perverted reflection. So this material world is perverted reflection of the spiritual world. It is false in this sense because it is reflection. Otherwise, exactly the same things are there in the spiritual world. Ūrdhva-mūlam adhah-śākham aśvatthaṁ prāhur avyayam (BG 15.1). There is. In the Bhagavad-gītā you will find in the Fifteenth Chapter. Ūrdhva-mūlam. Here, this material world, the origin—mūlam means root—is upside, upside. Because it is reflection. This tree is erect, and this is reflection. So the root has gone upside. So here is the problem. Because we are attached to our this so-called family, society, friendship and love... When Arjuna was faced, then he became kṛpayā parayāviṣṭo viṣīdann idam abravīt (BG 1.27). "How it is possible, Kṛṣṇa, that I have to kill the other side, my fathers, my father-in-law, my grandfather, my sons, my grandsons, my brother, my so many friends?" So it is natural. Kṛpayā parayā āviṣṭaḥ. He becomes overwhelmed with compassion. Kṛpayā parayāviṣṭo viṣīdan. Very morosely. "Oh, Kṛṣṇa, I will have to fight with them. I will have to kill them." Why this consciousness came? The other side also, Duryodhana, why he did not think in that way? Why Arjuna is thinking? Because he is devotee. That is the difference. A devotee thinks like that. A devotee does not like to kill anyone, even an ant.

Lecture on BG 1.31 -- London, July 24, 1973:

"Oh, this is the body. We are working for this body. Now it is finished. It is burnt into ashes. So what is the benefit?" This kind of vairāgya, renouncement, is there. But as soon as he comes from the burning ghāṭa, he again begins his activities. In the śmaśāna, in the burning ghāṭa, he becomes renounced. And as soon as comes home, again he is vigorous, vigorous, how to earn, how to get money, how to get money, how to get money. So this kind of vairāgya is called śmaśāna-vairāgya, temporary. He cannot become vairāgī. And he said, na kāṅkṣe vijayam: (BG 1.31) "I don't want victory. I don't want this." This is temporary sentiment. Temporary sentiment. These people, they attach to family life. They may say like that, that "I don't want this happiness, don't want this very nice position, victory. I don't want." But he wants everything. He wants everything. Because he does not know what is the śreyas. Śreyas is Kṛṣṇa. Actually, when one gets Kṛṣṇa, or Kṛṣṇa consciousness, then he can say that "I don't want this." They will not say that. Why they will say, "Don't want this"? Here what we have got? Suppose I have got a kingdom. So that is my kingdom? No. That is Kṛṣṇa's kingdom. Because Kṛṣṇa says bhoktāraṁ yajña-tapasāṁ sarva-loka-maheśvaram (BG 5.29). He is the proprietor. I may be His representative. Kṛṣṇa wants that everyone should be Kṛṣṇa conscious.

Lecture on BG 1.32-35 -- London, July 25, 1973:

So Arjuna is speaking of trailokya-rājyasya. He is ascertaining that "Even if I get the kingdom of the three worlds, what to speak of only this earthly planet, what is insignificant, even if I get the kingdom of trailokya, svarga, martya, pātāla, like that, still, I am not prepared to fight with my kinsmen, what to speak of this earthly planet." He decided like that. This is called family attachment. He is speaking, "Even in exchange of kingdom of the three worlds, I am not prepared to fight."

api trailokya-rājyasya
hetoḥ kiṁ nu mahī-kṛte
nihatya dhārtarāṣṭrān naḥ
kā prītiḥ syāj janārdana
(BG 1.35)

"What I shall get by killing my cousin-brothers? And along with them, there are so many relatives."

ācāryāḥ pitaraḥ putrās
tathaiva ca pitāmahāḥ
mātulāḥ śvaśurāḥ pautrāḥ
śyālāḥ sambandhinas tathā
etān na hantum icchāmi
(Bg. 1.33-34)

"My dear Kṛṣṇa, Madhusūdana." He is not addressing Kṛṣṇa as "Kṛṣṇa." He is addressing Him, "Madhusūdana." He is reminding Him that "You also killed, but You kill Your enemies, Madhu." Madhu was a demon. Madhu-kaiṭabha-bhare hari-murāre. Madhu-kaiṭabha-bhare. So, "You are Madhusūdana. You are the killer of Madhu demon, who was Your enemy. You are not Nanda-sūdana or Yaśodā-sūdana." That is reminding Him, little critically, that "You are Yourself Madhusūdana. You kill only Your enemies. Why You are inducing me to kill my kinsmen?"

Lecture on BG 1.32-35 -- London, July 25, 1973:

He has come to teach us this vairāgya-vidyā." Vairāgya-vidyā-nija-bhakti-yoga-śikṣārtham ekaḥ puruṣaḥ purāṇaḥ (CC Madhya 6.254). Puruṣaḥ purāṇaḥ, Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa is described: puruṣaḥ purāṇaḥ. Śāśvataṁ purāṇaḥ. Divyam, ādi-puruṣam. So puruṣaḥ purāṇaḥ. Vairāgya-vidyā-nija-bhakti-yogam: "He has come to teach the bhakti-yoga which is vairāgya-vidyā." Vairāgya-vidyā-nija-bhakti-yoga-śikṣārtham ekaḥ puruṣaḥ purāṇaḥ śrī-kṛṣṇa-caitanya-śarīra-dhārī (CC Madhya 6.254). "Now He has assumed the body of Śrī Kṛṣṇa Caitanya Mahāprabhu." Tam ahaṁ prapadye: "I offer my respectful obeisances to this person. He has come to teach us vairāgya-vidyā."

So vairāgya-vidyā. This family attachment, and just the opposite thing is vairāgya-vidyā, how to become detached. This is the whole process of Vedic civilization. Everyone has got this attachment for the body and expansion of the body. So vairāgya-vidyā means to be detached. That is called brahma-jñāna. Brahma-bhūtaḥ prasannātmā na śocati na kāṅkṣati (BG 18.54). That is brahma-jñāna. As soon as you understand, ahaṁ brahmāsmi, "I am not this body, I am spirit soul," this is called brahma-jñāna. So long you do not get this knowledge, you are in ignorance. That ignorance, there are degrees. In the sattva-guṇa or in the modes of goodness, you can simply theoretically understand that "I am not this body." That is sattva-guṇa. Brahminical qualities. Śamo damas titikṣā ārjavaṁ jñāna. Jñānaṁ vijñānam āstikyaṁ brahma-karma svabhāva-jam (BG 18.42). When you... brahma-jānātīti brāhmaṇaḥ. Brāhmaṇa means who has got the knowledge of brahma. Veda-paṭhād bhaved vipro brahma-jānātīti brāhmaṇaḥ janmanā jāyate śūdraḥ saṁskārād bhaved dvijaḥ.

Lecture on BG 1.32-35 -- London, July 25, 1973:

"I belong to this 'ism,' I belong to that 'ism,' that 'ism,' that..." "Ism," what is that "ism"? Dharma, or "ism," what is that required? Dharmaṁ tu sākṣād bhagavat-praṇītam... (SB 6.3.19). It is simple thing that the dharma means, religious code means, the order of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. We have to obey. That is called dharma. But they have no knowledge, what is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, what is His order. They are here in the Bhagavad-gītā. The Supreme Personality of Godhead comes down to teach us, yadā yadā hi dharmasya glānir bhavati (BG 4.7). "When people forget their regulative life, I come down." So He has come down. He has come down. He will teach Arjuna that "You are so family-wise attached." Then He will teach. From the Second Chapter He will begin the teaching. Prajñā-vādāṁś ca bhāṣase. Aśocyān anvaśocas tvaṁ prajñā-vādāṁś ca bhāṣase (BG 2.11). When Kṛṣṇa, Arjuna accepted Kṛṣṇa, that "I am now puzzled, what to do. So I know I am puzzled, I am kṣatriya. It is my duty to fight, but I am hesitating. So it is very embarrassing puzzle. Therefore I am surrendering unto You." Śiṣyas te 'haṁ śādhi māṁ tvāṁ prapannam (BG 2.7). "I am becoming Your disciple, not friend. Now let us talk as master and disciple, not as friend and friend." So when he accepted Kṛṣṇa as the master. Kṛṣṇa is always master, but it is simply acceptance.

Lecture on BG 2.1 -- Ahmedabad, December 7, 1972:

Because generally, the brahmacārī was going home at the age of twenty-four years, twenty-five years. So after marriage, he may get a child. So living there for twenty-five years, means the child is grown up. Then the husband and wife takes leave, not leaving for good, but vānaprastha, traveling in pilgrimages like Vṛndāvana, Prayāga. That was the system. And after two months, again he comes back and remains home for another two months. Again goes out. In this way, the whole process is how to give up attachment from this family life, from this world. And when he's trained up fully, he takes sannyāsa. That is our Vedic system.

So the attachment of this material world is very strong. That is stated in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam by Ṛṣabhadeva: Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etami (SB 5.5.8). This whole material world is an attachment of male and female. Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam, sex impulse, attachment. Tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ. And when they are married, when they are united, then it becomes a hard knot in the heart. Ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mamet. Then gradually, after being united, one becomes attached to gṛha, home, apartment, kṣetra,... Formerly there was no industry. So everyone must have some land to produce food. Gṛha-kṣetra, suta, then children; āpta, friends; vitta, then money, because without money, nothing can be maintained. Ataḥ gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair janasya mohaḥ. He becomes more and more illusioned. And ahaṁ mameti: (SB 5.5.8) "Oh, this is my country. This is my family. This is my house. This is my children." So on, so on. Mama. "Mine." And "I am this person. I am this body." This is illusion.

Lecture on BG 2.1-10 and Talk -- Los Angeles, November 25, 1968:

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: "The kṛpaṇas, or miserly persons, waste their time in being overly affectionate for family, society, country, etc., in the material conception of life. One is often attached to family life, to wife and children and other members on the basis of 'skin disease.' The kṛpaṇas think that they are able to protect their family members from death, or the kṛpaṇa thinks that his family or society can save him from death. Such family attachment can be found even in the lower animals, who also take care of children. Being intelligent, Arjuna could understand that his affection for family members and his wish to protect them from death were the causes of his perplexities. Although he could understand that his duty to fight was awaiting him, still on account of miserly weakness he could not discharge the duty. He is therefore asking Lord Kṛṣṇa, the supreme spiritual master, to make a definite solution. He offers himself to Kṛṣṇa as a disciple. He wants to stop friendly talks. Talks between a master and disciple are serious, and now Arjuna wants to talk very seriously before the recognized spiritual master. Kṛṣṇa is therefore the original..."

Prabhupāda: Here is a technique. The same Kṛṣṇa and same Arjuna, they are talking as friends. Then what was the necessity of Arjuna accepting Kṛṣṇa as spiritual master? The same Arjuna and same Kṛṣṇa, they'll talk, but what is the necessity of accepting as spiritual master? That means after accepting spiritual master he'll not argue. He'll simply accept whatever He says. That is the technique. Friendly talks, equal level, He, Kṛṣṇa was talking something and he was replying. So that argument has no end. But when he accepts Him as spiritual master, there is no more argument. One has to accept whatever He says. Therefore he's accepting as spiritual master. After this, Arjuna will never say, "This is wrong, this is, no," or "I don't agree." No. He'll accept. So acceptance of spiritual master means to accept anything, whatever he says. Therefore one has to select a spiritual master whom he can completely surrender. That is the technique. Veda-vākya. Just like in the Vedic injunction, nobody can deny. Similarly, spiritual master is also representative of Veda. Ācāryavān puruṣo veda.

Lecture on BG 2.14 -- London, August 20, 1973:

No, you have to do your duty. Similarly, although Arjuna is advised, "Although you are killing—little pains that you have to kill your own men—so that is coming and going. You have to do your duty because it is real fight. This fight is under My guidance. You must fight. That is your duty. Don't be bothered of this mātrā-sparśāḥ." Mātrā means the skin, touch. But people are after the skin disease. Just like sex life. What is the sex life? This is also another skin disease, itching of the skin, and you satisfy by rubbing it. That's all. Therefore in the śāstra it is advised, viṣaheta dhīraḥ. Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). Gṛhamedhi. These rascals who are very much attached to so-called family life, gṛhamedhi... Gṛhastha is different. Gṛhastha means he knows everything. But he is not so advanced, but he wants to live with wife and children, but for Kṛṣṇa consciousness. That is gṛhastha. And those who are not Kṛṣṇa conscious, simply living like animals and has got children and wife, they are animals; they are gṛhamedhi. The gṛhastha means he is making the best use of a bad bargain. And the gṛhamedhi means he is animal. Therefore this is spoken about the gṛhamedhi. Mostly people now, they are showing that "I am very beautiful man," showing family, but he is called gṛhamedhi. So what is the happiness of the gṛhamedhi? Yan maithunādi, that sex pleasure, that's all. Otherwise they have no other happiness, working day and night like ass. The only hope is, at night they will enjoy sex. That's all. Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi. What is that sex? That itching. Mātrā-sparśās tu kaunteya śītoṣṇa-sukha-duḥkha-dāḥ (BG 2.14). That itching sensation. Therefore śāstra says that "Tolerate that itching. Don't be implicated with this repetition of birth and death." First thing, brahmacārī—"Tolerate this itching. You'll avoid so much displeasure, so much unhappiness of life. Be careful." That is brahmacārī life.

Lecture on BG 2.15 -- Hyderabad, November 21, 1972:

Gṛham andha-kūpam, if we discuss threadbare, it may be very unpalatable. But we have to discuss from śāstra what is gṛha. Gṛha, it is... Another word, it is called aṅganāśrayam. Aṅganā. Aṅganā means woman. To live under the protection of wife. Aṅganāśraya. So śāstra recommends that you give up this aṅganāśrayam to go to the paramahaṁsa-āśrayam. Then your life will be saved. Otherwise, as Prahlāda Mahārāja says, gṛham andha-kūpam, "If you keep yourself always in this dark well of so-called family life, then you'll never be happy." Ātma-pātam. Ātma-pātam means you'll never be able to understand spiritual life. Of course, not always, but generally. Generally, who are too much attached to family life or extended family life... Extended... Family life, then society life, then community life, then national life, then international life. They're all gṛham andha-kūpam. All gṛham andha-kūpam.

So the Prahlāda Mahārāja advising that "You give up all this nonsense conceptions" Vanaṁ gato yad dharim āśrayeta (SB 7.5.5). Just vanaṁ gataḥ, means just become free from this conception, gṛham andha-kūpam conception of life. Take the broader life of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Then you'll be happy. Hitvātma-pātaṁ gṛham andha-kūpaṁ vanaṁ gato yad dharim āśrayeta (SB 7.5.5). Harim āśrayeta. The real business is harim āśrayeta. Vanaṁ gataḥ. Vanaṁ gataḥ means go to the forest. Formerly, after gṛhastha life, vānaprastha life, sannyāsa life, they used to live in the forest. But going to the forest is not the main purpose of life. Because in the forest there are many animals. Does it mean they are advanced in spiritual life? That is called markaṭa-vairāgya. Markaṭa-vairāgya means "monkey renunciation." Monkey is naked. Nāga-bābā. Naked. And eats fruit, monkey, and lives underneath a tree or on the tree. But he has got at least three dozen wives. So this markaṭa-vairāgya, this kind of renunciation, has no value. Real renunciation. Real renunciation means you have to give up the andha-kūpa life and take shelter of Kṛṣṇa, harim āśrayeta.

Lecture on BG 6.46-47 -- Los Angeles, February 21, 1969:

There is an instance of Bilvamaṅgala Ṭhākura. Bilvamaṅgala Ṭhākura was in his previous life, elevated to almost prema-bhakti, highest platform of devotional service. But there is always chance of falldown. So somehow or other he fell down. And next life he was born in a very rich family as it is stated in the Bhagavad-gītā: śucīnāṁ śrīmatāṁ gehe (BG 6.41). So he was born in a rich brāhmaṇa family, but he became, naturally as rich boys become attached to woman-hunter. So it is said that his spiritual master instructed him through his prostitute. At the right moment, his spiritual master said through that prostitute, "Oh, you are so much attached with this flesh and bone. If you had been attached so much with Kṛṣṇa, how good you could have achieved." Immediately he took to that position. So that responsibility is for the spiritual master. But we should not take advantage of that. That is not very good. We should try: yasya prasādād bhagavat-prasādaḥ **. We should not try to put our spiritual master in a position that he has to reclaim me from prostitute's house. But he has to do it. Because he accepts his disciple, he has got the responsibility like that. Yes?

Lecture on BG 7.1 -- Bombay, January 13, 1973:

Dharmaṁ tu sākṣād bhagavat-praṇītam (SB 6.3.19). Nobody can create religious principle. A man cannot create. That is not possible. Any religious system which is created by man, that is not religion. Religion means what is created by God. That is religion. Dharmaṁ tu sākṣāt. Sākṣāt mean directly. So this Bhagavad-gītā is real religion, because it is directly spoken by the Supreme Personality of Godhead for the benefit of the whole human society. And Kṛṣṇa says also that "If you have got any other faith, religion. you give it up." Sarva-dharmān parityajya mām ekam (BG 18.66). Only one. God is one; religion is one. The process of religion is one, and the activity, who is in God-relationship, his activity's also one. That is oneness. There cannot be any different activities. Therefore Kṛṣṇa is teaching mayy āsakta-manāḥ.

So how to increase your attachment? We have got attachment in so many other things. We have got attachment for the body, we have got attachment for the family, we have got attachment for the society, country. Or... So many things. But Kṛṣṇa says, mayy āsakta-manāḥ. That is yoga. That is perfect yoga. And to perform that yoga, Kṛṣṇa says, mayy āsakta-manāḥ pārtha yogaṁ yuñjan mad-āśrayaḥ. One has to take shelter of Kṛṣṇa. You cannot practice kṛṣṇa-yoga by taking shelter of anything else. You have to take shelter of Kṛṣṇa. Just like in the Fourth Chapter, Kṛṣṇa says that:

Lecture on BG 7.1 -- London, March 9, 1975:

Just like a boy is attached to some girl or a girl is attached to some... That is natural. So when he becomes too much attached, he always or she thinks always. Otherwise it is not possible. To come to this attachment platform you have to learn how to love Kṛṣṇa. Otherwise how it is possible? Unless you love somebody, how can you think of him twenty-four hours? That is not possible.

So this mayy āsakta, Kṛṣṇa is summarily... But the ācāryas, they have defined how we can... We have got attachment. Every one of us got this propensity or the quality of attachment to others. The wife is attached to husband; husband is attached to wife. The son is attached to the father; father is attached to the son. Everyone. That attached you increase, then to your family, to your community, to your society, to your country, to your nation. The attachment is there. You cannot say that "I have no attachment for anything." That is not possible. When... Sannyāsī. Sannyāsī mean sat nyāsī. One who has given up attachment for this false material world... That is the philosophy of Śaṅkarācārya. He says, brahma satyaṁ jagan mithyā. Therefore he is advising that "You have got attachment for this material world. This is false." Brahma satyam. Jagan mithyā. He simply explains the negative side. But brahma satyam: "Brahman, the Supreme Absolute Truth, is truth." So attachment for that. You cannot give up the attachment spirit, but you have to change the attachment. That is freedom. We have got so many attachments for this material world. You have to transfer that attachment for Kṛṣṇa. Therefore Kṛṣṇa says mayy āsakta-manāḥ pārtha. He doesn't say that "You give up your attachment." How you can give up your attachment? That is not possible. He says, "Just transfer the attachment to Me."

Lecture on BG 7.1 -- Durban, October 9, 1975:

If you practice this, then asaṁśayaṁ samagraṁ māṁ yathā jñāsyasi tac chṛṇu: (BG 7.1) "If you try to hear Me attentively..." Bhagavān uvāca. Who is speaking? Bhagavān, the Supreme Person, the Absolute Person. There is no mistake, there is no cheating, there is no imperfection, and there is no illusion. It is perfect.

So if we follow... "We follow" means to increase your attachment for Kṛṣṇa. We have got attachment. What is attachment? That is not to be learned. Everyone has got attachment, either he has got attachment for family or for society or for community or for the country, for the nation, and so on, so on, his business, at least for his dog. So attachment there is. One, everyone, can understand what is attachment. But this attachment should be turned over for Kṛṣṇa. Then your life is successful. This is explained here. Mayy āsakta-manāḥ pārtha yogaṁ yuñjan mad-āśrayaḥ. And if you simply turn your attachment to Kṛṣṇa... You know what is attachment. "So then I shall have to give up attachment for my family, for my business?" No. Keep the center attachment in Kṛṣṇa and do whatever you are doing. That's all right. Just like family. So it does not mean because you have turned your attachment, therefore your family attachment should be withdrawn. No. It will be polished. The family attachment will be polished. If you train your family in Kṛṣṇa consciousness... Just early in the morning rise up. You can control your family in that way: "Now get up. Take your bath." Have maṅgala-ārati. Then chant Hare Kṛṣṇa, read Bhagavad-gītā. Then take prasādam. Then go to office or work. So in this way, if your mind is in Kṛṣṇa and if you act accordingly, then that is perfection.

Lecture on BG 7.1-3 -- Stockholm, September 10, 1973:

Just like Vyāsadeva. Vyāsadeva is the compiler of all Vedic knowledge. He accepts Kṛṣṇa, (as) the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Later on, all the ācāryas—Rāmānujācārya, Madhvācārya, Viṣṇu Svāmī, Lord Caitanya—they have all accepted Kṛṣṇa. So far our Vedic culture is concerned, Kṛṣṇa is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Here it is also said, śrī bhagavān uvāca. So He is teaching how to become first-class yogi in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. That is His teaching. He is saying, mayy āsakta-manāḥ pārtha yogaṁ yuñjan mad-āśrayaḥ. Mayi, "unto Me," āsakta, "attachment." The Kṛṣṇa consciousness yoga means to increase the attachment for Kṛṣṇa. That's all. We have got attachment for something, every one of us. So everyone has got attachment, either for His family, either for some friend or for some house or some hobby or for some cats, some dogs. There is attachment. That is not to be learned. We cannot... There is no need of explaining what is attachment. Attachment is there, existing in everyone's heart. He wants to be attached to somebody else or he... Everyone wants to love somebody else. Love does not mean oneness. Love must be two, the lover and the beloved. So attachment is there. That is natural. Everyone knows. Now, this yoga system, Kṛṣṇa consciousness yoga system, means to increase your attachment for Kṛṣṇa. That's all.

Lecture on BG 13.2 -- Melbourne, April 4, 1972:

We don't think that, that "Why you are forced to leave?" That we do not think. But that's a fact. I am living very comfortably with my society, family. "Society, friendship and love, divinely bestowed upon man." There is one poetry. That's all right, but it is so nice, it is so pleasing, but one day comes, "Please get out." Finished. You cannot protest. You cannot say that "I have worked so hard. I have made my country, my family, my house so nice. Why I shall get out?" "No. You must leave." "Oh, let me stay here for some days more." "No, not even a second. You must get out." We cannot consider all these points. We are simply attached. "Oh, this is my country. This is my family. This is my land. This is my kinsmen. This is..." So many. "This is my, my, my, my, my." But if it is yours, why you are forced to get out of these things? What is the answer? Who will answer this? Huh? And there is no certainty.

Suppose you are making a very nice house, very nice apartment. There is no guarantee that you will be able to enjoy this family life, house, and everything. Not... Forever, that is no question. Even you do not know how many years you will be allowed. Any moment you can be driven out, any moment. So this is intelligence. This is intelligence. When a man comes to inquire this point, that "Why I am forced to leave my comfortable position?" I may be now American or Australian, very nice living, very nice motor car, roads, everything, but why I am forced to leave immediately?

This is the problem of life. Janma-mṛtyu-jarā-vyādhi-duḥkha-doṣānudarśanam (BG 13.9). Bhagavad-gītā says that "You may think of yourself as very happy within this material condition. You may think. That is called māyā. Actually, it is not happiness. "I am working very hard day and night to decorate my country, my society, my family, my house. Everything. That is not very happiness, working very day and night. But it is māyā.

Lecture on BG 13.8-12 -- Bombay, October 5, 1973:

Another problem is asaktiḥ. We are very much attached to our so-called home, so-called wife, children. And here is, jñāna means that asaktir anabhiṣvaṅgaḥ, āsaktir. You should, therefore, at a certain age, according to Vedic civilization, one is forced to give up this attachment. Naturally, one is attached to wife, children, home. But Vedic civilization says, that is all right from... Up to fifty years, you can remain attached. But pañcāṣordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet. After your fiftieth year, you must give up your family life. Vanaṁ vrajet. Go to the forest for tapasya. That was the system. Here at the present moment, everywhere, all over the world, when he is going to die, still he is attached to his political life, social life, family life. That is not knowledge. That is ignorance. You must be detached. Vairāgyam. Anabhiṣvaṅgaḥ. Putra-dārā-gṛhādiṣu. Family life. Putra means children. Dārā means wife. Gṛha means home. Putra-dārā-gṛhādiṣu. Asaktir anabhiṣvaṅgaḥ. Nityaṁ ca sama-cittatvam iṣṭāniṣṭopapattiṣu.

In this way you have to be situated on the devotional service. Devotional service is not sentiment. Just like Kṛṣṇa, after describing so many stages of advancement of knowledge, then he says, mayi ca ananya-yogena bhaktir avyabhicāriṇī. Ananya-yogena. Always... Yoga means linking up. Always linking up with Kṛṣṇa. Mayi. Kṛṣṇa says mayi, "Unto Me, Kṛṣṇa." Mayi ca ananya-yogena bhakti-yogena. So you can become attached with Kṛṣṇa if you are dovetailed in the service of Kṛṣṇa, not casually, but constantly. Mayi ca ananya-yogena bhakti-yogena avyabhicāriṇī. Acyabhicāriṇī means without break, always, constantly. Satataṁ kīrtayanto māṁ yatantaś ca dṛdha-vratāḥ (BG 9.14).

Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures

Lecture on SB 1.2.6 -- Vrndavana, October 17, 1972:

So... But that is not pure devotion. Pure devotion is described here that, sa vai puṁsāṁ paro dharmaḥ. That is first class. Yato bhaktir adhokṣaje. You can adopt any means. There are different kinds of religious system all over the world. You can become Hindu, you can become Muslim, you can become Christian, you can become something else. But the test is how much you have learned to love God. That's it. Not that "I am Hindu. I have got such a big tuft and so much tilaka, and I take bath daily in the Yamunā, Ganges. I am strictly vegetarian," and so on, so on, so on. But the result? "I am simply attached to my family." That's all. (laughter) Finished. (Hindi) "I am doing all things, but my center of gravity is my family." Gṛhamedhī. Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). Gṛhamedhī, those who are attached only to the home life, their happiness is sex. That's all. And in order to protect that sense enjoyment, they take to dharma, artha, kāma, mokṣa (SB 4.8.41, Cc. Ādi 1.90); everything, whatever you call...

But this thing must be there. Just like when I presented this, my Easy Journey to Other Planets, so one scientist friend... Not scientist. He was a librarian. So he read this book and he said, "So we cannot come back again?" (laughter) Just like they are going to the moon planet, and they must come back again. The aeronautics, they go very high, the Russians, by the sputnik, and they see, from up, "Where is Moscow?" (laughter) This was published in the paper. Actually, his attachment is Moscow. So similarly, generally, people, they show religiosity so that they may get some money, economic development, and by money they can satisfy their senses. And when they are baffled in satisfying their senses, they want to merge into the existence of God. This is dharma, artha, kāma, mokṣa. When he is dissatisfied with sense gratification, kāma, dharma, artha, kāma, then he says, "This is all false. Now I shall merge into the body of Kṛṣṇa, or in the effulgence." But they do not know that this type of desiring, that "I shall merge into the existence of God," that is also kāma, because he's desiring something.

Lecture on SB 1.2.9-10 -- Delhi, November 14, 1973:

No more illicit sex hunters. No. Everything stopped. This is our prin... This is called mukti. This is called mukti. As soon as you get rid of these bad sinful activities, you are mukta. That is called mukti. And after mukti, tato niṣṭhā, then we have got firm conviction: "Yes, Kṛṣṇa consciousness is the only business." Tato niṣṭhā, tato ruciḥ. Then you increase your taste. Tato niṣṭhā athāsaktiḥ. Then you become attached to Kṛṣṇa.

That is the beginning of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, bhakti-yoga. This is explained in the Bhagavad-gītā. Mayy āsakta-manāḥ pārtha yogaṁ yuñjan mad-āśrayaḥ. When you increase your attachment for Kṛṣṇa... That is required. Increase... You have got attachment for your family, for your body, for your society, for your country, everything. That's all right. But you have to convert them. You have to increase attachment for Kṛṣṇa. That is called bhakti-yoga.

mayy āsakta-manāḥ pārtha
yogaṁ yuñjan mad-āśrayaḥ
asaṁśayaṁ samagraṁ māṁ
yathā jñāsyasi tac chṛṇu
(BG 7.1)

Kṛṣṇa says in the Seventh Chapter, in the beginning.

So everything is there. If we actually want to make our life perfect, the directions are already there in our... We have got the Vedic knowledge, treasurehouse of spiritual knowledge, and the Bhagavad-gītā is the gist, is the summary.

Lecture on SB 1.8.41 -- Los Angeles, May 3, 1973:

So, Pāṇḍava and Vṛṣṇi dynasty, Kuntī belongs to both families. She is the daughter of the Vṛṣṇi family and the wife and mother of the Pāṇḍava family. So generally a woman has got affection both for the father's family and husband's family. So he is, she is asking Kṛṣṇa that "I am woman. Generally, I am attached to my family. So kindly cut off my, this attachment so that thoroughly I can be attached unto You. This is the purpose. Because without You, either my this family or that family, opulence, everything, that is all zero. So falsely I am attached to these families. My business is to be attached unto You."

This is bhakti. Bhakti means to be free from the attachment of this material world and to become attached to Kṛṣṇa. Because you have to attach to something. You cannot become unattached. That is not possible. So, in order to become attached to Kṛṣṇa or to enter into the devotional service of the Lord, one has to become detached from this material affection. That is wanted. Ordinarily, they go to Kṛṣṇa for maintaining the attachment with this material world. Just like, "O God, give us our daily bread." That means I have got attachment of this material world, and to live in this material world, I must have supplies of material things so that I can maintain my status quo. This is called material attachment. People go to God for securing the material position. That is, one sense, it is good; but that is not wanted. To become free from material attachment, that is required. Not that I worship God to increase my opulence in the material world. That is not wanted.

Lecture on SB 1.8.41 -- Los Angeles, May 3, 1973:

Otherwise he remains an animal. That's all. Anyone who is not Kṛṣṇa conscious, one who does not know what is Kṛṣṇa, he's no better than animal. He's animal. So this is going on.

So Caitanya Mahāprabhu gave this concession to the fallen souls of this age, that "You simply chant Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra, you'll be delivered." Kīrtanād eva kṛṣṇasya mukta-saṅgaḥ paraṁ vrajet (SB 12.3.51). That is Caitanya Mahāprabhu's special concession. Otherwise, a devotee... Kuntī is not ordinary devotee. She has become one of the relatives of Kṛṣṇa, and Kṛṣṇa has come to offer her respects. So Kuntī's not an ordinary devotee. Still, she says that "Kṛṣṇa, kindly help me to become detached from my, this family attachment. I am attached to two families, my father's family and my husband's family, vṛṣṇiṣu and pāṇḍuṣu." So the purpose is that one has to become detached from this so-called society, friendship, love. This will entangle us. One has to become free from this attachment. Sarvopādhi-vinirmuktam (CC Madhya 19.170). So long I shall think that "I belong to this family, I belong to this nation, I belong to this religion, I belong to this color, I belong to..." So many things we have created, there is no possibility of become Kṛṣṇa conscious. No. So long I shall think, "I am American," "I am Indian," "I am African," then we are attached. So long I am thinking that "I belong to this family, that family," then I'm attached. So long I'm thinking, "I'm father of this, mother of this, husband of this, wife of this," that is attachment.

Lecture on SB 1.8.43 -- Mayapura, October 23, 1974:

So Kuntīdevī, first of all she prayed that "My attraction for my family..." Two different families, Pāṇḍu and Vṛṣṇi, Pāṇḍu family, the husband's family, and Vṛṣṇi family, the father's family... So woman has got attachment for both the families. She wanted to get relief from this attachment. This is called anyābhilāṣitā-śūnyam (Brs. 1.1.11). So long we have got family attachment, we shall be disturbed by so many material desires. But bhakti begins when all material desires are finished. Therefore a guru's definition is given in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam:

tasmād guruṁ prapadyeta
jijñāsuḥ śreya uttamam
śābde pare ca niṣṇātaṁ
brahmaṇy upaśamāśrayam
(SB 11.3.21)

Upaśamāśrayam. Upaśama means fully satiated, no more any desire. Svāmin kṛtārtho 'smi varaṁ na yāce (CC Madhya 22.42).

Now the Durgā Pūjā is going on. This is also recommended in the Vedic śāstra, that those who want material opulence... Material opulence means riches and good wife. For this purpose, śāstra recommends that you can worship Durgā. There are different purposes, and different demigod worships are recommended.

Lecture on SB 1.8.47 -- Mayapura, October 27, 1974:

Outside he might have many enemies, but the five-years-old boy, because he was taking opportunity in the school and as soon as the teachers are out, in the tiffin hour, he would immediately stand up on the bench and preach... You have seen the picture. He was preaching amongst his small class friends. That preaching work is there in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, how he was intelligently preaching.

His first was... Kaumāram... Bhakta? I forget now. My memory is becoming old. (laughs) So, kaumāra ācaret prājño dharmān bhāgavatān iha (SB 7.6.1). That, he was preaching: "My dear friends, we are now unmarried boys, so this is the opportunity. Now we are unmarried. We are not very much attached to family life. This is the opportunity." Kaumāra ācaret prājñaḥ. Because as soon as one becomes materially affectionate... Here it is said, prākṛtena ātmanā viprāḥ sneha-moha-vaśam. The more we increase... When the child, when we are children, we have got little affection for playing or for father, mother, that's all, limited. But the more we grow, and especially when you are married, then this material affection increases, more entangled. That is also stated in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etam (SB 5.5.8). This material life means sex life. So a man is searching after woman, and woman is searching after man. This is material bondage. This is natural not only human society—in dog society. Just see. The dog is crying, is crying at night because he has lost that woman. Is it not? Just see, even in the dog, what to speak of human being. So this is material life, to be affectionate unnecessarily. Therefore devotional service means vairāgya-vidyā. Caitanya Mahāprabhu showed by His example how He gave up the affection of young, beautiful wife, very nice home, most affectionate mother, most influential position in the society—gave up.

Lecture on SB 1.14.43 -- New York, April 7, 1973 :

You have seen. So, the first feasting is for children. So sometimes I was little obstinate, I'll not, sit down, "No, I'll take with you, (indistinct)." But that was system. First of all children should be sumptuously fed, then the brāhmaṇas, and children and old men. In the family, children and old men... Just see Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira, how much he was anxious to take care of Dhṛtarāṣṭra. Although he played, played the part of an enemy throughout, still it is the duty of the family member to take care of the old men. When Dhṛtarāṣṭra left home after being accused by his younger brother Vidura, so, "My dear brother, you are still attached to family life, you have no shame. You are taking food whom you..., from whom you considered your enemies. You wanted to kill them from the very beginning. You set fire to their home. You banished them in the forest. You intrigued against their lives, and now everything is finished, all your sons, grandsons and son-in-laws and brothers, fathers, uncles...," I mean to say Bhīṣma was his uncle. So all the family. In the battlefield of Kurukṣetra everyone was killed except these five brothers: Yudhiṣṭhira, Bhīma, Arjuna, Nakula, Sahadeva. All male members were killed. So, only the remaining descendant was Mahārāja Parīkṣit. He was within the womb of his mother. And his father died, Arjuna's son, Abhimanyu. He was sixteen years old. Fortunately his wife was pregnant. Otherwise the Kuru dynasty was finished. So, he rebuked ,that "Still you are sitting here just for a morsel of food like dog. You have no shame, my dear brother."

Lecture on SB 1.15.40 -- Los Angeles, December 18, 1973:

He is not far away, although He lives in His own abode, Goloka Vṛndāvana. Goloka eva nivasaty akhilātma-bhūtaḥ (Bs. 5.37). That is Kṛṣṇa. Although He is in His abode, but He is everywhere. Here is Kṛṣṇa. Although He is living in Goloka Vṛndāvana, He is in this temple, He is within our heart. Simply we have to take advantage, how He is present, how He is advising. That is the technique. That is Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement. God is everywhere. He is prepared to guide you. He is prepared to help you. Because He is father, He is always prepared. But we do not take His guidance. We do not take His shelter. That is the difficulty.

So why you do not take? Because ahaṁ mameti (SB 5.5.8), we have attachment, "This country is mine. This family is mine. This wife is mine. The children is mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine." So you have to become nirmama, without "mine." And why we are accepting this "mine," ahaṅkāra? Ahaṅkāra. Ahaṅkāra means false ahaṅkāra, false identification. So everyone is fighting because the false identification, "I am this body." He does not know. In this way we are so much in ignorance. Therefore the word used, mūḍha, is the appropriate word. Mūḍha, "rascal." We call everyone rascal. That is a harsh word. But actually that is the fact. They do now know what is what.

So if you actually are serious about stopping this rascaldom and wish to go back to home, back to Godhead, then you have to take this Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Because by becoming Kṛṣṇa conscious, you become fully qualified. Yasyāsti bhaktir bhagavaty akiñcanā sarvair guṇais tatra... (SB 5.18.12). Because this surrendering to Kṛṣṇa, that is the perfection of intelligence.

Lecture on SB 2.1.2-5 -- Montreal, October 23, 1968:

The same subject matter, that those who are too much attached in the family affairs, gṛheṣu gṛha-medhinām. Gṛhamedhī means one who has made his center of activity home. He is called gṛhamedhī. There are two words. One word is gṛhastha, and one word is gṛhamedhī. What is the significance of these two words? Gṛhastha means one... Not only gṛhastha. It is called gṛhastha-āśrama. Whenever we speak of āśrama, it has got spiritual relationship. So all these four divisions of social orders-brahmacārī-āśrama, gṛhastha-āśrama, vānaprastha-āśrama, sannyāsa-āśrama... Āśrama. Āśrama means... Whenever... Āśrama, this word, has become little popular in your country also. Āśrama means situation for spiritual cultivation. Generally, we mean that. And here also, there are so many yoga-āśrama. I have seen in New York so many āśramas. "New York Yoga Āśrama," "Yoga Society," like that. Āśrama means it has got a spiritual connection. It doesn't matter whether a man... Gṛhastha means living with family, wife and children.

Lecture on SB 3.25.18 -- Bombay, November 18, 1974:

Because they have taken to Kṛṣṇa consciousness, they have no more any attraction for meat-eating, cigarette or cinema. No. This is called vairāgya. How they attained this vairāgya? Only for this bhakti. Bhakti-yuktena.

So the real purpose of life is to attain jñāna and vairāgya. This is the meant for human life. Because we are suffering in this material condition on account of ignorance, no jñāna. I am not this body, but I am thinking "I am this body," "I am American." I am not actually so. I am thinking "American," "I am Engli...," "Pakistani," "I am Hindustani." And fighting. This whole world is going on on this ajñāna. Because I am not this body. But the whole world is being conducted this ajñāna. And there is no vairāgya. Very much attached. The so-called family, society, love and... Everything will be finished as soon as this body is finished. No more love, no more family, no more attraction. So this is going on—ajñāna and attachment. Moha, illusion. Ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti (SB 5.5.8).

So this ahaṁ mameti, this is ajñāna. So when one is jñānī, then this influence of material nature, ahaṁ mameti (SB 5.5.8), will be reduced to nil. That is, it is said, prakṛtiṁ ca hataujasam. "Now no more prakṛti can disillusion me that I am this body, and in bodily relation everything is mine." This ajñāna, ignorance, is immediately mitigated, and he becomes free. Brahma-bhūtaḥ prasannātmā (BG 18.54). "Then I do not belong to all these things. Why I am falsely inclined to all these things? So it will come, how?" This bhakti-yuktena. If you take to bhakti-yoga, these things automatically...

Lecture on SB 3.25.20 -- Bombay, November 20, 1974:

Just like we are old men. So many difficulties there are. So we do not want all these things, but it is forced upon us. But we are not intelligent enough to, how to make a solution of these problems. Therefore our predecessor, Sanātana Gosvāmī, first of all put this question that ke āmi kene āmāya jāre tāpa-traya. He was minister. He was intelligent and learned scholar, brāhmaṇa. So he inquired this. So we should be inquiring that "We are making so much struggle for existence, but existence is not allowed. Then what is the reason?" So we have become so foolish that we do not know. But here we are discussing mokṣa-dvāram, how to become free from the struggle for existence. This is life's mission.

So how it can be done? Now, as much we are attached to our property, to our family, to our country, to our money, to our business, so many things we have got attachments... Here it is said, prasaṅgam ajaraṁ pāśam. These attachments means we are entangled, hands and legs tied up. The "tied up" means because our mind is full and absorbed in these material activities, so at the time of death we have to give up this body and accept another. So long our mind will be absorbed, the consciousness will be absorbed in materialistic way of life, we have to accept another body. Kṛṣṇa will give chance. Ye yathā māṁ prapadyante tāṁs tathaiva bhajāmy aham (BG 4.11). We do not know that our real business is not to accept another material body. That we do not know. We are so fool. We are working in such a way that we must have to accept another body. Na sādhu manye yata ātmano 'yam asann api kleśada āsa dehaḥ (SB 5.5.4). We are working, we are feeling that so many difficulties there on account of this body, but we are not working how to get rid of this body, how to become again free and remain in our spiritual body. This intelligence is not there.

Lecture on SB 3.26.2 -- Bombay, December 14, 1974:

"Don't be knotted with this material world." But still, if he cannot do that, then with the permission of the spiritual master, he accepts a wife. That is gṛhastha life. But that also not for many years. Say for 25 years. After 25 years he will remain a student brahmacārī, then you accept one wife according to religious ritualistic ceremony, but no illicit sex. That is not allowed. Bachelor daddy is not allowed. That is very dangerous.

So kāmām, dharma-viruddho kāmām aham asmi, Kṛṣṇa says. Even without wife and everything. Then you take sannyāsa. That is the stage of hṛdaya-granthi-bhedanam. Hṛdaya-granthi-bhedanam. Not that up to the last point of death you are attached to a family and wife and children. That is animal life. That is not human life. Human life, you must try to unknot this hṛdaya-granthi, man and woman. Hṛdaya-granthi-bhedanam. That is self-realization. So this Sāṅkhya philosophy described by Kapiladeva is very scientifically described and if we try to assimilate it then our life will be successful.

Lecture on SB 5.5.1 -- Tittenhurst, London, September 12, 1969:

Of course, spiritual master does not forget, but these are the injunctions, that if he does not ask you, "Come and take your prasādam," then you should not touch, yourself. There are so many strictures.

So this is the beginning of life, and these strictures are followed even if he is son of a king or even if he is Supreme Personality of Godhead. Just like Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa also undergone this disciplinary action when He was a brahmacārī for some time. So this is the system. In the beginning of life one should become brahmacārī, and then he marries and lives with wife and children, at most twenty-five years. Then he retires. The husband and wife goes from one pilgrimage to another, in this way travels. Because the children are grown up. And when the husband is completely free from all family attachment, he takes sannyāsa. This is the process. Brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, and sannyāsa. So this Mahārāja Ṛṣabhadeva, before retirement it is the duty of the father to give instructions how to look after family affairs, their personal affair, their spiritual advancement, everything, so here Ṛṣabhadeva is instructing, "My dear sons, do not think that this particular body, human body, is equal to the body of the cats and dogs and hogs. Don't consider like that." He has particularly mentioned viḍ-bhujām. Viḍ-bhujām means the stool-eater. As in the human society, the dog-eater human being is considered the lowest of the human society, similarly, in the animal society, the animal which eats stool is considered the lowest. So the gradation of human being is also calculated according to the eating process. This is... Modern thinker also says, in your country, Dr. Bernard Shaw? He has written one book. I think it is named You Are What You Eat. So eating is very important thing. If you eat like cats and dogs, then you'll become cats and dogs even in this human form of life. If you behave like cats and dogs, you become cats and dogs even in the human form of life. Similarly, if you work hard, very hard, like cats and dogs or hogs, then what is the value of your human life? Human life should be very sober, peaceful, full of knowledge, full of bliss, peaceful, devotee. These are the good signs of purity. Simply working hard like animal and eating like animal and... No.

Lecture on SB 5.5.3 -- Hyderabad, April 15, 1975:

No, we never said that. Just now we explained. ye vā mayīśe kṛta-sauhṛdārthā, you keep your intimate relationship with Kṛṣṇa. It doesn't matter whether you are in family or without family. It doesn't matter. Just like I have given already example. Arjuna, he is a family man, he is not a sannyāsī. Not only family man, a military man, and politician, but he was prepared to sacrifice everything for Kṛṣṇa. That is wanted. If you do not become a family man, so what is the gain there? Or if you remain a sannyāsī, if you have no Kṛṣṇa consciousness, just like you said, "So many swamis they want to become Kṛṣṇa instead of becoming devotee of Kṛṣṇa." So this kind of sannyāsī is also useless. Similarly, gṛhastha, if he's simply attached to family, that is also useless. Any condition of life, if you remain fixed-up with Kṛṣṇa consciousness, that is your perfection of life. Yei kṛṣṇa-tattva-vettā, sei 'guru' haya (CC Madhya 8.128). Anyone who is fully Kṛṣṇa conscious and fixed-up in devotional service, knowing fully well what is Kṛṣṇa, he is guru. It doesn't matter whether he is a sannyāsī, or gṛhastha or brāhmaṇa, and śūdra. It doesn't matter. Is that all right? Chant Hare Kṛṣṇa.

Lecture on SB 6.1.22 -- Honolulu, May 22, 1976:

So here it is said, evaṁ nivasatas tasya lālayānasya tat-sutān. Everyone is tat-sutān, with children. Even one big economics professor, Professor Marshall, he says... I was student of economics, the Marshall book. He says that economic development begins out of family affection, family affection. That is the basis. That was his understanding, that nobody would work for livelihood unless he is attached in family. That is his proposition. So here he was attached to the family. Lālayānasya tat-sutān. Atha gṛhas kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair. Material bondage is that family affection. It is not that one has to give up this procedure. No. That is not. The Vedic civilization is so nice that you accept the platform which is suitable. The brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsa... The spiritual... These are called āśrama. Āśrama means where spiritual culture is practiced. That is called āśrama. Perhaps you know this āśrama word. Āśrama means it is not a place for sense gratification; it is a place for advancing in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. That is āśrama.

Lecture on SB 6.1.23 -- Honolulu, May 23, 1976:

So this Ajāmila, he learned all this nonsense, abominable way of livelihood. And therefore his example is given, how he was downtrodden and fallen. Still by the grace of Nārāyaṇa how he was elevated, that is the itihāsa, history, which is, Sūta Gosvāmī is citing, how Kṛṣṇa consciousness is powerful. That is the motive of narrating Ajāmila ūḍha, delivering Ajāmila. So here it is said, evaṁ nivasatas tasya lālayānasya tat-sutān. Everyone is tat-sutān, his children. Even one big economic, economist professor, Prof. Marshall, he says... I was student of economics in the Marshall book. He says that economic development begins out of family affection. Family affection. That is the basis. That was his understanding, that nobody would work for livelihood unless he is attached in family. That is his proposition. So here he was attached to the family. Lālayānasya tat-sutān. Ataḥ gṛha-kṣetra sutāpta vittaiḥ (SB 5.5.8). Material bondage is that family affection. It is not that one has to give up this procedure. No, that is not.

The Vedic civilization is so nice that you accept the platform which is suitable for you, brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsa. The spiritual... These are called āśrama. Āśrama means where spiritual culture is practiced. That is called āśrama. Perhaps you know this āśrama word. Āśrama means... It is not a place for sense gratification. It is a place for advancing in Kṛṣṇa conscious. That is āśrama. So there are four āśramas for your spiritual cultivation: brahmacārī, gṛhastha... Gṛhastha is also āśrama, family. That is also āśrama. If the gṛhastha life is meant for cultivating Kṛṣṇa consciousness, it is all right. This is āśrama. Gṛhastha āśrama, then retired life, vānaprastha. Although gṛhastha āśrama is allowed, but not for all the time, that up to the death, no. That is not allowed. After fiftieth year... Twenty-five years to fiftieth year the young man's spirit is there, the sex power is strong, so the gṛhastha-āśrama is a concession for satisfying sex, that's all. But not more than fifty years. Then you must give up. That is the Vedic civilization. You accept gṛhastha āśrama.

Lecture on SB 6.1.24 -- Chicago, July 8, 1975:

The particular point in this connection is pravayasaḥ. Pravayasaḥ means very old. Yes, he was eighty-eight years old. So this child might be three years or two years, less than three years. That means when he was eighty-five or eighty-six he begot a child. This is the purpose, to point out. This is family life. He is going to die after one or two years, and still, he is begetting child. Therefore this word is used, pravayasaḥ. This is not proper life that up to the point of death one has to beget a child. This is animal life. Human life, maximum fifty years, that's all. After that, by force, pañcāśordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet, give up this family life. And if you don't give up, then you remain and go on begetting children. Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). What is the happiness of this gṛhamedhī life, attached to family life? The only happiness is this sex, that's all. Otherwise there is no happiness. They are working day and night. Therefore, at the present moment the tendency is to kill the child. Because to enjoy sex life means there must be pregnancy. But when there is pregnancy, either illicit or..., legal or illegal, the child-bearing, the giving birth to the child, then taking care of it, then growing, raising, feeding him, education—so many troubles there is. But tṛpyanti neha kṛpaṇā bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ (SB 7.9.45).

Lecture on SB 6.1.24 -- Chicago, July 8, 1975:

Dhīras tatra na muhyati (BG 2.13). This word is used, dhīra. So if one is not dhīra, adhīra, agitated always, they will go on begetting children one after another, up to the eighty-ninth year. Why? Tṛpyanti... They are not satisfied, although to beget a child means so many troubles, if you are responsible father. And those who are not responsible father-mother, they want to kill it, that's all. This is the psychology of killing children nowadays, because they know that "This child, I have to take care so much," bahu-duḥkha-bhājaḥ. There are... Tṛpyanti... By very analytical study... Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). This happiness of the gṛhamedhī, family attachment... Family you can utilize, gṛhastha. If you are inconvenienced to accept sannyāsa or brahmacārī life, remain in household life, but the purpose is the same, to develop Kṛṣṇa consciousness. If one is in the family life and is trying to advance in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, he is called gṛhastha, and his family life is called gṛhastha-āśrama. Just like sannyāsa-āśrama. Āśrama means where there is activities, spiritual. That is called āśrama. So if you remain as gṛhastha or family man, there is no harm. But utilize for advancement of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Then you are gṛhastha. And if you do not know that, if you simply remain a family man for satisfying your senses and begetting children up to the point of death, that is called gṛhamedhī. These two words. Apaśyatām ātma-tattvaṁ gṛheṣu gṛhamedhinām (SB 2.1.2). So one should not be gṛhamedhī. One may become gṛhastha. That is the difference.

Lecture on SB 6.1.24 -- Chicago, July 8, 1975:

So this man, Ajāmila, was not a gṛhastha because his beginning of life is that he gave up his married life. He was married with nice wife, coming from respectable family, but he gave up that, and he was attached to a maidservant. And he gave up his real family life. He became a family man with this maidservant, and go on begetting children. That was his life. Therefore this word is used particularly, tasya pravayasaḥ. He was old enough; still, he was begetting child. But one who is brāhmaṇa, he would not stay in family life more than fiftieth year. Pañcāśordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet. One must go to the forest. Forest means vana, and therefore, one who goes to the forest, from the word vana, it is vāna, vānaprastha. Prastha mean one who has gone. This is regulative life. One has to take leave from this family life and accept the vānaprastha. Vānaprastha means prior to accepting the renounced order of life. The husband and wife goes out of home and travels in many holy places to associate with holy man and take his instruction just to prepare for sannyāsa. So when one is fully equipped in knowledge, then he asks his wife to go to home to be taken care of by the elderly children, and he becomes a sannyāsī. This is called varṇāśrama-dharma. This is real purpose of life. Four varṇas, four classes of men, up to fourth class, not up to tenth class. And then spiritual life: brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsa. This institution is called varṇāśrama-dharma: four varṇas and four āśrama. So when one is educated or trained up by this varṇāśrama institution, then his human life begins. Otherwise he is animal. One who does not take to this varṇāśrama-dharma, he remains in the animal life. That is the Vedic system.

Lecture on SB 6.1.38 -- Los Angeles, June 4, 1976:

And He showed His universal form, how it is working, that is described in the Eleventh Chapter of the Bhagavad-gītā. Why? Arjuna knew from the very beginning that "Kṛṣṇa is the Supreme Lord; I am His servant." But either by Kṛṣṇa's yoga-māyā or Arjuna's humility, he played that "My family is more important than Your service." He played like that. At last, he agreed that kariṣye vacanaṁ tava (BG 18.73). So, Kṛṣṇa and Arjuna, they're teaching us by playing, because Kṛṣṇa can play with His devotee, not with others. Most confidential devotee. What He wants to teach. So Arjuna presented himself as ordinary human being. He's not ordinary human being; he's personal friend of Kṛṣṇa. He cannot be bewildered, but he played the part of ordinary being, that "I have got attachment with my family. Why shall I kill them by Your order, and what is this, what is that?" so many, you know. Bhagavad-gītā, there are questions and answers. And at last, Kṛṣṇa said that "Give up this foolishness. Surrender unto Me." So he agreed, Arjuna. That is perfection. That is perfection.

Lecture on SB 7.6.3 -- Montreal, June 16, 1968:

"In this way, when a man is too much addicted to the materialistic way of life, cannot give up the family life..." You'll find many old men, almost going to die, but still, there is family attachment. It is very difficult to get out of family attachment. Although the other members, his wife, his son, disgusted with the old man, and all of them want that "This old man may die very soon. He is simply bothering us," but the old man tries to live: "Oh, let me live for some time. Don't drive me away." I understand that in Russia they intentionally try to kill these old men (laughter). And in Africa, I have heard, there are still cannibals. They make a feast by killing the grandfather. (laughter) So old man is always neglected in the society, and therefore I have come out of my home. I have taken your shelter. You see? (laughter) It is actually a fact. You see? So in this way we are wasting our time. Śaṅkarācārya, he was walking on the street and he was lamenting because he has got the eyes to see. What he said? He said, "Oh," bālas tāvad kridāsaktaḥ, "oh, all the boys I see in the street, they are very nicely playing. They do not know anything except play." Bālas tāvad kridāsaktas taruṇas tāvad taruṇī raktaḥ: "And the young, youngsters, they are after young girls, embracing, kissing. That's all." So taruṇas tāvad taruṇī raktaḥ. And vṛddhas tāvad cintā-magnaḥ: "And the old men, they are thinking, 'How to pull on? What to do? How to adjust family affairs?' " Parame brāhmaṇe ko 'pi lagnaḥ: "Oh, it is very lamentable. Nobody is interested in Kṛṣṇa consciousness." He is lamenting because he has got to... He was seeing practically.

Lecture on SB 7.6.6 -- Vrndavana, December 8, 1975:

This family life, gṛheṣu, gṛha-medhinām, who are very much attached, this is māyā. Prahlāda Mahārāja, from the age of five years he condemned, hitvātma-pātaṁ gṛham andha-kūpam: "The gṛha, this so-called family life, is a dark well." We are thinking we are very happily living with nice wife and children and working very hard, getting money. But śāstra says, "You are fallen in the dark well." Gṛham andha-kūpam. And "All right, let me remain here." "No." Ātma-pātam. If you remain in this way, then you will kill your soul. Ātma-pātam. Therefore in the Vedic civilization there is compulsory: "Get out." Pañcaśordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet. "Now you are fifty years old past. Immediately get out." "No, I have got so many duties. I have got this." "No, no." Vrajet, "compulsory." This verb is used, vidhiliṅ, where there is no argument; you must. Just like when natures calls you, you must do it, similarly... This is Vedic civilization. Not that unless you are killed or being shot down by somebody else, you are not leaving the gṛham andha-kūpam. This is not Vedic civilization. Vedic civilization is that brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsa. You must be prepared, especially the higher castes, especially the brāhmaṇas. The brāhmaṇas must observe the four adhyātmika principle: brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha... Brāhmaṇa, they do not go even to the gṛhastha life. Remain brahmacārī. But even he goes, only for twenty-five years. It is said, puṁso varṣa-śataṁ hy āyuḥ. So divide this varṣa-śatam, hundred years: twenty-five years, brahmacārī; twenty-five years, gṛhastha; twenty-five years, vānaprastha; and last twenty-five years, sannyāsa.

Lecture on SB 7.6.8 -- Vrndavana, December 10, 1975:

Harikeśa: Translation: "Persons with uncontrolled mind and senses become more and more attached in family life on account of never satiable lusty desires, which are very strong. The balance ten years of life of such madmen is also wasted because they cannot engage themselves in devotional service."

Prabhupāda:

durāpūreṇa kāmena
mohena ca balīyasā
śeṣaṁ gṛheṣu saktasya
pramattasyāpayāti hi
(SB 7.6.8)

So our lusty desires, sense gratification, cannot be satisfied even throughout the whole life. The account is being given of the whole life, hundred years. So out of hundred years, fifty years wasted by sleeping, twenty years wasted by playing like boy and young man, and twenty years as old man, diseased, invalidated, and balance ten years... Because ninety years he has been so much attached to materialistic way of life, naturally the balance ten years, śeṣam, he cannot utilize in any other way. He can simply engage himself in that lusty desire for material existence. Adurātmanena kāmena. In this connection there is a very instructive story—it is fact—that the Emperor Akbar, he enquired from his minister... He had one very big minister; I forget just his name.

Lecture on SB 7.6.8 -- Vrndavana, December 10, 1975:

So in the human form of life the children should be trained up to spiritual life. That is the duty of the father and mother. Gṛheṣu saptas. If one remains attached to family life, then gṛheṣu saktasya pramattas. Pramattas means to remain attached to this family life means madness. Means madness. It is very difficult to understand this madness, especially in this age, Kali-yuga, because we have very little knowledge. Mandāḥ sumanda-matayo, manda-bhāgyā upadrutāḥ (SB 1.1.10). The position of the people of the present age, Kali-yuga, they're all bad; nobody is good. Mandāḥ, all very slow. They do not know what is the aim of life, how to fulfill the goal of life, mandāḥ. And manda-matayo: and if somebody is interested, they will manufacture some rascaldom. Manda-matayo. And everyone is manda-bhāgyā, unfortunate. Unfortunate means that they got this opportunity, human life, to end all the problems of life, but they'll not take care of it. Manda-bhāgyā. And besides that, upadrutāḥ, embarrassed by so many difficulties, especially these men in Kali-yuga will be harassed by insufficient supply of foodstuff, and taxation by the government. Durbhikṣa-kara-pīḍitāḥ (SB 12.2.9). This is the statement in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. Actually the food price is increasing daily. Nobody knows where it will end. This is called (indistinct). People will not get alms. Alms, to beg from door to door, and live on alms and begging, this will not be possible. Nobody will give alms. Suppose there is ten rupees' kilo rice, and if a sannyāsī goes to a gṛhastha, "Give me some alms, rice," they'll consider in terms of price, "So much rice I have to give. This is two rupees' worth.

Lecture on SB 7.6.8 -- Vrndavana, December 10, 1975:

In the Sixth..., the Seventh Chapter, Kṛṣṇa is giving lesson how to become unattached to this material world. Mayy āsakta manāḥ pārtha. If you increase your attachment for Kṛṣṇa—if you become perfectly Kṛṣṇa consciousness—then it is possible to be detached. Paraṁ dṛṣṭvā nivartate (BG 2.59). Your attachment gets better engagement. Kṛṣṇa consciousness means attachment for the best. We have got attachment. We have got attachment for our family, for our home, for our children, for our wife, for our society, for our nation, for our country, and so on, so on, so on, so on—so many. Attachment is there. But with this attachment, gṛheṣu saktasya, if you keep your attachment for these things, then you'll never be free from this material condition of life. Therefore you have to convert or divert your attachment to Kṛṣṇa. That is Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement. Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement means we have got attachment, but we have got attachment for false things, temporary things. And if we divert our attachment, that is bhakti. Bhakti does not mean that you give up your living conscience. Attachment is the function of the living being. The living being is attached to his family, wife, children, because he is living being. So living being cannot give up attachment. But if we continue our attachment for this false and temporary materialistic way of life, then we'll never be free from this bondage of material condition. Therefore you have divert your attachment to Kṛṣṇa. Mayy āsakta manāḥ. This is yoga: how to divert your attachment for Kṛṣṇa. It is very easy. It is not difficult.

Lecture on SB 7.6.8 -- Vrndavana, December 10, 1975:

Therefore the training is, according to śāstra and the instruction of the spiritual master, that (indistinct): rise early in the morning. Just like a man... Not one man, there are thousands and millions of men at the present moment, because he has got attachment for the family he rises at four o'clock and prepares himself to catch the train at six o'clock to reach Calcutta, Bombay at ten o'clock and attend the office. So from four o'clock to ten o'clock, he has taken so much changing. I have seen in New York also, they are coming in from the other island and waiting for the bus, waiting for the ferry steamer, and so many hours wasted to reach the office. And he works in the office for four or five hours, then again he takes this trouble of going so many miles away. Why he is taking so much trouble? Family attachment. Family attachment. So the people are... Not that he has no attachment. He has got attachment, but this attachment, the same four o' clock, rising early in the morning, for Kṛṣṇa's maṅgala-ārati. This is diversion, a better. But he'll not agree. When he has got to go to office for earning his livelihood, he will automatically rise up and go to the office, because the attachment is strong. But in the temple, the rule is that you must get up before four and prepare yourself, and we have to ring the bells three hundred times, and still you are sleeping. Just see.

So this has to be practiced. This has to be practiced if you want to divert your attention. The same process. But because we have no attachment for Kṛṣṇa, we have to be forced. Never mind. Still we have to continue this, mayy āsakta..., to increase attachment for Kṛṣṇa, mayy āsakta manāḥ pārtha.

Lecture on SB 7.6.8 -- New Vrindaban, June 24, 1976:

Pradyumna: (leads chanting, etc.) "One whose mind and senses are uncontrolled becomes increasingly attached to family life because of insatiable lusty desires and very strong illusion. In such a madman's life, the remaining years are also wasted because even during those years he cannot engage himself in devotional service."

Prabhupāda:

durāpūreṇa kāmena
mohena ca balīyasā
śeṣaṁ gṛheṣu saktasya
pramattasyāpayāti hi
(SB 7.6.8)

The calculation of life is already given account. Maximum years, hundred years. Fifty years by sleeping, minus. Then fifty years remains. Then twenty years childhood and playing. Then, remaining thirty years, and twenty years in old age, invalidity, not fulfillment of desires, what to do. In this way twenty years, and balance ten years, because all along one is directed by lusty desires, what he'll do? Prahlāda Mahārāja is trying to establish his submission. It is not theory, but submission that kaumāra ācaret prājño dharmān bhāgavatān iha (SB 7.6.1). From the very childhood this bhāgavata-dharma should be taught and learned. Just like here, these boys, they are very fortunate because from the very beginning of their life they are being taught in bhāgavata-dharma. They are coming, take a little flower, offering to the Deity or the spiritual master, offering obeisances, chanting, taking little prasādam—these are all taken into account. Every inch of it. It is not that playfully they are doing this. No. Because bhakti-mārga, Kṛṣṇa says man-manā bhava mad-bhakto mad-yājī māṁ namaskuru (BG 18.65). Four things: "Always think of Me, become My devotee, worship Me and offer obeisances unto Me." Four things. So even the child can do it. A child can, because he is mixing with devotees, he's seeing the Deity, naturally his mind always thinks of Kṛṣṇa, naturally psychology.

Lecture on SB 7.6.8 -- New Vrindaban, June 24, 1976:

Those who are sukṛtina, means one's background is pious, they begin bhajana, Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Catur-vidhā bhajante māṁ janaḥ sukṛtino 'rjuna. Ārto, arthārthī, jñānī, jijñāsur. Four kinds of men—ārto, the one who is distressed, and arthārthī, one who is poor, wants some money. Jñānī—one who wants to know what is God; jijñāsur—inquisitive. Such persons, if his background is piety, sukṛtina, then he begins bhajana.

So, otherwise, śeṣaṁ gṛheṣu saktasya pramattasya. Gṛheṣu saktasya, those who are too much attached... Everyone is attached in material way of...Gṛheṣu means not only family. Somebody is very much attached to the body. That is natural for every living being, body, bodily attachment is there. Even an animal like hog is living in filthy place and eating stool, still, he has got affection for the body. When the hog is taken from the flock for being killed, he screams very loudly, "Don't want. I don't want to be killed." Although the life is very abominable, still he's attached to the body. The old man is attached to the body. So this is called moha. Janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti (SB 5.5.8). Atheists... In our Los Angeles temple we have seen, there are so many karmīs, and when there was earthquake they screamed like anything. So no one wants to die. They say, "No, I can die." No. At the time of death they scream, they do not like. Nobody wants to die. That's a fact. So gṛheṣu saktasya. Generally, people become too much attached to family life. I sometimes say that in the Western countries the young boys, they come to Kṛṣṇa consciousness, their only one great asset is they are not family-wise attached. That is very good qualification. Someway or other, they have become. Therefore their attachment to Kṛṣṇa becoming staunch. In India they have got organized family attachment. They are not interested. They are after money now. That I have experienced. Yes.

Lecture on SB 7.6.8 -- New Vrindaban, June 24, 1976:

So family attachment is the greatest impediment in the matter of advancing in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, but if the whole family is Kṛṣṇa conscious, that is very nice. Just like Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura. He was a family man, but all of the, Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, his wife, his children—and the best children is our Guru Mahārāja, best child... So he has sung by his experience, ye dina gṛhe bhajana dekhi gṛhete goloka bhaya. If family-wise, everyone is engaged in Kṛṣṇa's service, that is very nice. That is not ordinary family. That attachment is not ordinary attachment. But generally people are attached materially. That is condemned here. Śeṣaṁ gṛheṣu saktasya pramattasya apayāti hi. They are called pramatta. Everyone is thinking that "My family, my wife, my children, my nation, my community, that is everything. What is Kṛṣṇa?" This is the greatest illusion imposed by māyā. But nobody will able to give you protection.

Lecture on SB 7.6.8 -- New Vrindaban, June 24, 1976:

Everything will be finished. Nobody can give us any protection except Kṛṣṇa. If we want to be freed from the clutches of māyā-janma-mṛtyu-jarā-vyādhi (BG 13.9)—we must take shelter of the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa through the spiritual master and live with devotees who have engaged themselves for the same purpose. It is called... What is that exact word? Sakhi or something. Now I am forgetting. But in the same category we must live and execute our Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Then these impediments, gṛheṣu saktasya pramattasya. Anyone who is..., all the karmīs, they are attached to this family life, but family life is good provided there is Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Gṛhe vā vanete thāke, hā gaurāṅga bole dāke. It doesn't matter, either he is in family life or he's in sannyāsī life, if he's a devotee, then his life is successful.

Lecture on SB 7.6.10 -- Vrndavana, December 12, 1975:

Especially in Western countries, there is fire gun, and trespassers, even without permission, if anyone enters anyone's house, he can kill him. Is it not the law in your country? Trespassing? So there is risk of life, but he has entered the house for stealing. And why stealing? The family affection. That is the impetus for economic development. The Professor Marshall, the economist, he has given the definition, that "Wherefrom the economic development begins? By family affection." Or by sex attraction. So this earning money, there are so many smugglers, so many illicit businessmen, black market, they are risking their lives to get money. The purpose is when one becomes too much attached to family life and too much devoted to maintain it, he doesn't care. He has to earn money, some how or other, even risking life. Even risking life.

Lecture on SB 7.6.10 -- Vrndavana, December 12, 1975:

So actually, if one becomes too much attached to family life and one has to become—this is the way—then has to earn money by risking life. He has to earn money. Similarly, the vaṇik, mercantile community, they also risk imprisonment by so many illegal activities. So formerly, these classes of men were after money. The higher class, the brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, they were very, I mean to say, pious. They did not do anything for risking life for earning money. The brāhmaṇa, they were trained up not to earn money, but to learn how to become self-controlled, śama damas satyam, how to speak truth, or how to understand the Absolute Truth. Then cleanliness, śama dama satyaṁ śaucam. Titikṣa, how to become tolerant. Ārjava, simple. Jñānam, fully aware of all kinds of knowledge. Vijñānam, practical application of knowledge. So then āstikyam. Āstikyam means to accept the authority of the śāstra. That is called āstik. That is theism. Theism means just like Veda, one who accepts the authority of Vedas, he is called āstik. And one who does not accept the authority of the Vedas, he is called nāstik. Āstik and nāstik.

Lecture on SB 7.6.11-13 -- New Vrindaban, June 27, 1976:

The basic principle of instruction of Prahlāda Mahārāja began that kaumāra ācaret prājño dharmān bhāgavatān iha (SB 7.6.1). From the very beginning of life, the children should be educated about bhāgavata-dharma. If they are not educated from the very beginning of life, these are the chances of forgetting. Forgetting means to be subjected to the waves of māyā. There are different phases of māyā. One is attached to the family or he's attached to the animals, one is attached to the country, society, so on, so on. The attachment of this material world, it may be in different names. But the Kṛṣṇa consciousness means detachment. Therefore they are so nicely described here by Prahlāda. The real business is detachment of this material world. So long we'll have a pinch of attachment with this material world enjoyment, there is no possibility of perfection. For that pinch of little attachment, and we have to accept a body. Nūnaṁ pramattaḥ kurute vikarma (SB 5.5.4). And as soon as we get body we become involved with so many things that we are preparing another next life.

Lecture on SB 7.6.11-13 -- New Vrindaban, June 27, 1976:

So here the verse is given, yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tucchaṁ kaṇḍūyanena karayor iva duḥkha-duḥkham (SB 7.9.45). The real purpose of life is how to become detached from this material life. That is perfection. People are being educated how to become attached. That is the difference between Kṛṣṇa consciousness and so-called human civilization. But the thing can be made easy if we attach our mind to Kṛṣṇa. Just like we are actually doing. It is not that we are all liberated persons. We have got so many attachments to family, wife, country. But along with it, if we try to increase our attachment for Kṛṣṇa, automatically there will be detachment. Automatically. Without endeavoring separately. Vāsudeve bhagavati bhakti-yogaḥ prayojitaḥ (SB 1.2.7). Vāsudeva, Kṛṣṇa. If we become engaged in bhakti-yoga... Bhakti-yoga means,

śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ viṣṇoḥ
smaraṇaṁ pāda-sevanam
arcanaṁ vandanaṁ dāsyaṁ
sakhyam ātma-nivedanam
(SB 7.5.23)

Iti puṁsārpita, all for Kṛṣṇa. Hear about Kṛṣṇa, chant about Kṛṣṇa. Śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ viṣṇoḥ, not for others. Hearing and chanting Viṣṇu. Smaranam, remembering Kṛṣṇa. Arcanam, this is arcanam. Vandanam, offering prayers. Dāsyam, to act as His servant, to spread His glories, that is vandanam. Dāsyam. Sakhyam, to take Kṛṣṇa as most dear friend. For a friend, one friend can do anything. So dāsyam, sakhyam, ātma-nivedanam. And Bali Mahārāja gave everything for Kṛṣṇa. Bali Mahārāja conquered even up to the heavenly kingdom.

Lecture on SB 7.6.14 -- New Vrindaban, June 28, 1976:

So therefore our mission of life is how to get out of this tāpa-traya, and Prahlāda Mahārāja is giving description how we remain involved in tāpa-traya. Sarvatra tāpa-traya-duḥkhitātmā. Repeatedly, tāpa-traya, na nirvidyate sva-kuṭumba-rāmaḥ. Especially those who are family men, it is very difficult. Therefore according to Vedic civilization, after fiftieth year, one should give up the family responsibility, vānaprastha. From vana, vana means forest. And from vana the word vana has come. Prastha means "who has gone." Pañcaśordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet. Vanaṁ vrajet means to free from all family responsibility and prepare for going back to home, back to Godhead. But those who are too much attached to family life, na nirvidyate, being repeatedly frustrated, repeatedly they are put into trouble. Still. But if one wants regular advancement of spiritual life, he must retire at the age of fifty. That is Vedic civilization. Not that unless one is killed, he's not going to retire. Even great personalities like Mahatma Gandhi, he was seventy-eight years, and still he would not retire from this... Political life means greater family life. A family man is interested with his family members, and a political leader is interested with the whole, a group of family. The principle is the same. Ordinary family man, he's looking after three, four members of the family, and a political leader is thinking that he's responsible for so many millions of men. The idea is the same: the extended family. But extended or diminished family, sva-kuṭumba-rāmaḥ, he's thinking, "I have to do something for them." But when death comes, you are unable to do anything, you have to immediately leave the scene, and according to the laws of nature you'll have to accept a body according to your karma. This is the law of nature.

Lecture on SB 7.6.15 -- New Vrindaban, June 29, 1976:

Pradyumna: (leads chanting, etc.) "Translation: If a person too attached to the duties of family maintenance is unable to control his senses, the core of his heart is immersed in how to accumulate money. Although he knows that one who takes the wealth of others will be punished by the law of the government, and by the laws of Yamarāja after death, he continues cheating others to acquire money."

Prabhupāda:

vitteṣu nityābhiniviṣṭa-cetā
vidvāṁś ca doṣaṁ para-vitta-hartuḥ
pretyeha vāthāpy ajitendriyas tad
aśānto-kāmo harate kuṭumbī
(SB 7.6.15)

So, vitteṣu nityābhiniviṣṭa-cetā, if we become too much attached for getting money, that is the material world. There is no satiation. Idaṁ prāpta, that Bhagavad-gītā word: "I have got so much money, now my bank balance is so much, and I shall get further money and my bank balance will be like this." This is the demonic mentality. We shall require money, yāvad artha-prayojanam, whatever is absolutely necessary, that much money I must get. That is order. That is an order. We cannot take more than what is necessary. This is actually spiritual communism. If everyone thinks that "Everything belongs to God and I am son of God, so I have got right to enjoy the property of my Father, but as much as I require, not more than that," this is spiritual communism, bhāgavata communism.

Lecture on SB 7.6.15 -- New Vrindaban, June 29, 1976:

Unfortunately, the modern civilization is keeping people in so darkness that they have no idea that there is a life after death. Just like animal, "Let us enjoy, beg, borrow, steal and enjoy." No. That is not good. Prahlāda Mahārāja said, "No it is not good." Prahlāda Mahārāja... Everyone will say, those who are in knowledge. Yato ātmano ayam, kleśada. You can do whatever you like, but you'll get a body which may be more troublesome than the present body. In the present body we have got so many troubles, adhyātmika, adhidaivika, and if we do not work properly, then we shall get another body, more troublesome. More troublesome.

So aśānta-kāmo harate kuṭumbī. This family attachment is so strong that a person who is not satiated, he simply gathers money. On one side, they do not believe in the next life, and if you ask him that "Why you are gathering so much money?" he'll say that "My grandson will enjoy it." They say like that. But if you don't believe in the transmigration of the soul, then who is coming to be your grandson and son you are accumulating money? So there is no logic, there is no argument. But people do so. Anyāyenartha-sañcayan. Anyāyena, it is stated in the Bhagavad-gītā that is demonic principle. So a gṛhastha, of course, required to accumulate some money because he's living with family, but so far brahmacārī, vānaprastha and sannyāsī is concerned, they should not keep any money. Caitanya Mahāprabhu was so strict that his personal servant, one day he was taking after eating a little, what is called, myrobalum (indistinct), haritaki. So one day he was giving myrobalum (indistinct) and Caitanya Mahāprabhu inquired, "Where you got this myrobalum (indistinct)?" So he said, "I kept it from yesterday." "Oh, you are stocking?"

Lecture on SB 7.6.17-18 -- New Vrindaban, July 1, 1976:

Prabhupāda: Purport also.

Pradyumna: Prahlāda Mahārāja has maintained the philosophical point of view that one should give up the dark well of family life and go to the forest to take shelter of the lotus feet of the Supreme Personality of Godhead (hitvātma-pātaṁ gṛham andha-kūpaṁ vanaṁ gato yad dharim āśrayeta (SB 7.5.5)). In this verse also, he stresses the same point. In the history of human society, no one, at any time or any place, has been liberated because of too much affection and attachment for his family. Even in those who are apparently very educated, the same family attachment is there. They cannot give up the association of their families, even in old age or invalidity, for they are attached to sense enjoyment. As we have several times discussed, yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham: (SB 7.9.45) so-called householders are simply attracted by sexual enjoyment. Thus they keep themselves shackled in family life, and furthermore they want their children to be shackled in the same way. Playing the parts of playboys in the hands of women, they glide down to the darkest regions of material existence. Adānta-gobhir viśatāṁ tamisraṁ punaḥ punaś carvita-carvaṇānām (SB 7.5.30). Because they are unable to control their senses, they continue a life of chewing the chewed and therefore descend to the darkest material regions. One should give up the association of such demons and adhere to the association of devotees. Thus one will be able to be liberated from material bondage.

Lecture on SB 7.6.19 -- New Vrindaban, July 2, 1976:

Prabhupāda: Read the purport also.

Pradyumna: One may ask, "One is certainly very attached to family life, but if one gives up family life to be attached to the service of the Lord, one must undergo the same endeavor and trouble. Therefore, what is the benefit of taking the trouble to engage in the service of the Lord?" This is not a valid objection. The Lord asserts in Bhagavad-gītā (14.4):

sarva-yoniṣu kaunteya
mūrtayaḥ sambhavanti yāḥ
tāsāṁ brahma mahad yonir
ahaṁ bīja-pradaḥ pitā

"It should be understood that all species of life, O son of Kuntī, are made possible by birth in this material nature, and that I am the seed-giving father." The Supreme Lord, Nārāyaṇa, is the seed-giving father of all living entities because the living entities are parts and parcels of the Supreme Lord (mamaivāṁśo. .. jīva-bhūtaḥ (15.7)). As there is no difficulty in establishing the intimate relationship between a father and son, there is no difficulty in reestablishing the natural, intimate relationship between Nārāyaṇa and the living entities. Svalpam apy asya dharmasya trāyate mahato bhayāt: if one performs even very slight devotional service, Nārāyaṇa is always ready to save one from the greatest danger. The definite example is Ajāmila. Ajāmila separated himself from the Supreme Personality of Godhead by performing many sinful activities and was condemned by Yamarāja to be very severely punished, but because at the time of death he chanted the name of Nārāyaṇa, although he was calling not for the Supreme Lord Nārāyaṇa but for his son named Nārāyaṇa, he was saved from the hands of Yamarāja. Therefore, pleasing Nārāyaṇa does not require as much endeavor as pleasing one's family, community and nation. We have seen important political leaders killed for a slight discrepancy in their behavior. Therefore pleasing one's society, family, community and nation is extremely difficult. Pleasing Nārāyaṇa, however, is not at all difficult; it is very easy.

Lecture on SB 7.9.14 -- Mayapur, February 21, 1976:

That sort of father should be avoided. Pitā na sa syāt. People are affectionate to father and mother, and they hesitate how to give up... Especially boys give up the company of family, father and mother, take to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. But here, in the śāstra, it is said, if the father is demon or a mother is demon or a friend is demon or a family member is demon, they should not be accepted as relative. Pitā na sa syāj jananī na sā syād gurur na sa syāt. Even guru. If you have accepted somebody as guru but he's a demon, he should be rejected immediately, immediately. Just like in India there is a system of jāta-guru, the guru by caste. By familywise, they become guru. One family is attached to another guru family by hereditary rules, the sons after sons accepting guru, the other party, and there is regular business. So such kind of guru is not wanted.

Śrī Jīva Gosvāmī has recommended that laukika-guru... This is laukika-guru. Parityāgena adhyātmika paramārthika, guru accepted. Guru has to be accepted who is actually paramārthika, advanced in spiritual knowledge, not the formality. That is recommended by Jīva Gosvāmī. Parityāgena. Parityāga vidhīyate. Śāstra says, "If the guru does not know the right thing, he can be given up." So what is the right thing? Right thing is to become devotee. First of all the sastric injunction is that anyone who is not a devotee, he cannot become guru. He cannot become guru. Avaiṣṇava, he cannot become guru. He must be a Vaiṣṇava. Then he... Ṣaṭ-karma-nipuṇo vipro mantra-tantra-viśāradaḥ.

Lecture on SB 7.9.43 -- Calcutta, March 23, 1976:

Bhagavān keeps some work to be done by His devotee to give the credit to the devotee. This is Bhagavān. But the bhakta never takes the foolishness that he is Bhagavān or greater than Bhagavān. Nobody can be equal to Bhagavān; nobody can be greater than Bhagavān. This is all foolishness.

Prahlāda Mahārāja, he is bhakta. He is simply seeking the blessings of the Lord how he can deliver these vimūḍhān. Śoce tato vimukha-cetasa māyā-sukhāya. Indriyārthe. These men are so busy. You'll see in big, big cities, they are so busy. What is their end of business? The end of business is māyā-sukhāya. He'll discuss also later on. Yan maithunādi gṛhamedhi sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). These grhamedhi, those who are so much attached to family life and working so hard day and night, what is the attraction? The attraction is yan maithunādi, sex, and nothing more. Prahlāda Mahārāja will discuss. So what is this happiness, sex? You cannot enjoy it for long time, and still, for this momentary happiness you are working so hard, forgetting your real business, how to realize God. Are they not vimūḍhān? Certainly they are vimūḍhān. They do not know what is the interest of life. So Prahlāda Mahārāja is thinking. But these rascals, they are not thinking how they are wasting their valuable time.

Nectar of Devotion Lectures

The Nectar of Devotion -- Vrndavana, October 18, 1972:

Devotee (1): If one makes arrangement in this lifetime for others to render service to Kṛṣṇa, but if the whole purpose of his arrangement is to simply maintain his family and if he's still attached to sense gratification, at the time of death, even though he has attraction for sense gratification, will he attain a higher birth in a family of Vaiṣṇavas in his next life or anything like this?

Prabhupāda: No. Those who are engaged in devotional service, if they cannot finish their business in this life, they are given chance next life to get birth in a Vaiṣṇava family. Not all. Yoga-bhraṣṭaḥ sañjayate. Śucīnāṁ śrīmatāṁ gehe (BG 6.41). Those who could not finish, yoga-bhraṣṭaḥ, bhakti-yoga, if he falls down while executing, he has no loss because, even if he falls down, his life, next life is guaranteed in a nice family. Śucīnāṁ śrīmatāṁ gehe. Either in rich family or in a devotee's family. So both ways, he gets the chance of having a human form of life, and if he's born in a Vaiṣṇava family, naturally he becomes Vaiṣṇava. And if he takes his birth in a rich family, he has no problem for his bread. So he can exclusively engage himself in devotional service. Provided he gets the assistance of a bona fide spiritual master. So your answer... Is that question, question is answered?

Devotee (1): Yes. But if someone has a temple and he maintains a Deity for his personal sense gratification...

Prabhupāda: That, that's all right. He is kaniṣṭha-adhikārī. So gradually he'll be elevated to the madhyama-adhikārī and then uttama-adhikārī. So in Kṛṣṇa's service, either he rubs this way or that way, there is no loss. It is only giving. That is the statement of Nārada. Tyaktvā sva-dharmaṁ caraṇāmbujaṁ harer bhajann apakvo 'tha patet tato yadi, ko vā āptaḥ abhūd amuṣya kim (SB 1.5.17). Even one falls down, there is no loss because he'll get a chance next life to begin from the point where he failed. So there is no loss.

Sri Isopanisad Lectures

Sri Isopanisad, Mantra 1 -- Los Angeles, October 30, 1968:

Just like Arjuna. He wanted to be very good man. Kṛṣṇa said, "Now fight." He said, "Oh, how can I fight? Oh, they are my brothers, they are my grandfathers. No, no, no. Better I shall beg. I don't want this kingdom." So this is material goodness. People appreciate very much: "Oh, just see. Arjuna is giving up claim on the kingdom." But what Kṛṣṇa replied? Kṛṣṇa said, "Wherefrom you got this foolish idea?" Kutas tvā kaśmalam idaṁ viṣame samupasthitam, anārya-juṣṭam: "This is for non-Aryans, not for Aryans." So this so-called goodness, so-called gentlemanliness, has no value in the spiritual world. Spiritual world—complete love of God, without any attachment for this... So Arjuna, this goodness, means attachment for his family. That's all. He was becoming a good man. Why? Because there is attachment for his family, for his grandfather, for his brother, nephews. So, so long there is attachment for this material world, either in the form of goodness or passion or ignorance, they're all the same. In the transcendental platform... Therefore Caitanya-caritāmṛta says that in this material world, the divisions that "This is good, and this is bad," they are simply mental concoction. The same example: the stool dried up is good, and the wet is not good. Stool is stool. That's all. For a devotee, this is stool. Either it may be dried up or moist, it doesn't matter. So those who are in ignorance and passion, they're little moist, and those who are in goodness, they're dried up. But after all, it is stool. Therefore Kṛṣṇa says, sarva-dharmān parityajya mām ekaṁ śaraṇaṁ vraja (BG 18.66). There is no consideration of this goodness or badness. You have to give up all material attachment. And abhorrence. Abhorrence is also another negative attachment. "I don't like this." That means I have attachment for this "don't like." You see? (break) A devotee is simply attached to the service of the Lord and... (end)

Arrival Addresses and Talks

Arrival Lecture -- Dallas, March 3, 1975:

There is real family. That is Kṛṣṇa's real family, eternal family, blissful family. So this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement means to train up people to be detached from this false family and to enter into the real family. That is the point. Not that if I give up this false family I will become zero. No. There is no such disappointment. The other philosophers, they simply... Just like Buddha philosophy. Their philosophy is "Finish this," nirvāṇa. But if people are not interested to finish all this, they want it, then what is the positive gain? So generally people are attached to these Buddhist and Māyāvādī philosophies; therefore they feel hopelessness. On account of future hopelessness, they become more attached to this false family. But our philosophy is not like that. Our philosophy is that you become detached to this false family and enter into the real family.

So these children... Kaumāra ācaret prājño dharmān bhāgavatān iha (SB 7.6.1). That is Prahlāda Mahārāja's instruction, that you produce children as much as you can train them to become eternally family members of Kṛṣṇa. That is spiritual contraceptive. Don't produce children like cats and dogs. This is our philosophy. If you can produce Kṛṣṇa conscious children, produce one hundred children. There is no objection. But if you cannot do that, then either don't produce children or produce children as much as you can manage. This is Kṛṣṇa philosophy. Our philosophy is not simply a negation. It is positive. They, general people, they are unnecessarily producing children, then cannot manage. So they are adopting so many sinful activities, so much so that they are now killing their own child within the womb and becoming implicated in sinful activities and prolong the life in this material world very miserably.

General Lectures

Lecture -- London, September 16, 1969:

Then gṛhastha. That is not for also all. If somebody is unable to remain a brahmacārī all through, then the spiritual master gives him permission to marry a suitable girl and become a householder. This is called gṛhastha life. Then, up to fifty years, he can indulge in householder life. Householder life, according to Vedic civilization, is a sort of license for sense gratification. But not for all the time. The injunction is pañcaśordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet. Just after your fiftieth year you must give up, retire from householder. That is called vānaprastha. Vānaprastha means you can take your wife with you and travel all over the world in places of holy pilgrimage just to give up your attachment for family life. In this way, when one is completely detached from family affection, then he sends back his wife to the elderly children to take care of her and he takes sannyāsa, renounced order of life. This renounced order of life means dedicate completely for the service of the Lord. In the Bhagavad-gītā it is stated,

anāśritaḥ karma-phalaṁ
kāryaṁ karma karoti yaḥ
sa sannyāsī ca yogī ca
na niragnir na cākriyaḥ
(BG 6.1)

Lord Kṛṣṇa said that one who acts for the sake of duty, not for enjoying the fruit, when it is possible... Now, if you are family man you have to work for maintaining your family; therefore you have to enjoy the fruits of your work. So this is possible only for a person who had completely dedicated for service of the Lord.

Lecture -- Hong Kong, January 31, 1974:

Similarly, how to enjoy sex life, nobody requires university education. So if we waste our time simply for being enlightened how to manufacture different types of foodstuff, how to take it on table and chair, nice dishes or plate, that is waste of time. If you utilize your time for inquiring about the Absolute Truth, that is perfection of human life. Not to waste your time in the animal propensities of life. That is not education, that is not human form of life.

So that education will be complete if you become Kṛṣṇa conscious. That is being taught in the Seventh Chapter by Kṛṣṇa Himself. What is that? Mayy āsakta-manaḥ pārtha: "You have to become always absorbed or attached on Me," on Kṛṣṇa. Mayy āsakta. Āsakta means attachment. We have got attachment for so many things. We have got attachment for our family, for our country, for our society, for our business, for our cats, for our dogs, so many things. But we have no attachment for Kṛṣṇa. That is lacking. Therefore life is imperfect. Śrama eva hi kevalam.

dharmaḥ svanusthitaḥ puṁsāṁ
viṣvaksena-kathāsu yaḥ
notpādayed yadi ratiṁ
śrama eva hi kevalam
(SB 1.2.8)

Everyone is performing his duty very nicely. That is..., Bhāgavata says, dharma-svanuṣṭhitaḥ puṁsām. Everyone has got his duty, either as a brāhmaṇa, as a kṣatriya, as a vaiśya, as a śūdra, as a brahmacārī, as a gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsī. This is Vedic eight divisions of social life, human life, varṇāśrama-dharma. Unless one comes to this institutional progress of life, varṇa and āśrama, they are animals. Human life begins from these eight divisions of occupational duties. A brāhmaṇa must execute his duty, a kṣatriya must execute his duty, vaiśya...

Lecture with Translator -- Sanand, December 27, 1975:

So Bhagavān says, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, the supreme authority, says that "You require to transfer your āsakti, attachment, to Me." Everyone has got āsakti. Aśakti means attachment, this material attachment. Someone has got attachment for his family, some to society, some to nation, some in business and so many things. Aśakti is there. But to make your life perfect, you have to transfer the āsakti to Kṛṣṇa. In the Western countries, I have seen, most of them, they have got no family, no āsakti family, but because the āsakti is there, every one of them keeps a dog. So they are accustomed to place their āsakti to cats and dogs. That means āsakti cannot be finished. That is not possible. So you haven't got to learn what is āsakti. Aśakti is there. Everyone has got experience. Simply that āsakti, that tendency of attachment, should be transferred to Kṛṣṇa. That is Vṛndāvana life. In Vṛndāvana the center of āsakti is Kṛṣṇa. There is Nanda Mahārāja, Yaśodā—they have āsakti to Kṛṣṇa. The young girls, they have got āsakti to Kṛṣṇa. The cowherd boys, they have got āsakti to Kṛṣṇa. The trees, they have got āsakti to Kṛṣṇa. The fruits, flowers, they have got āsakti to Kṛṣṇa. The water, Yamunā River, the āsakti to Kṛṣṇa. So if we make our central point of āsakti, then you can create Vṛndāvana everywhere. So this is the success of life. We have to change the āsakti to Kṛṣṇa. That is the highest form of mystic yoga. Kṛṣṇa has already explained in the previous verse,

yoginām api sarveṣāṁ
mad-gata āntarātmanā
śraddhāvān bhajate yo māṁ
sa me yuktatamo (mataḥ)
(BG 6.47)

Aneka yogis... There are many yogis, many form of yoga practice, mystic, but the yogi who is always thinking of Kṛṣṇa, he is first-class yogi.

Philosophy Discussions

Philosophy Discussion on Carl Gustav Jung:

Śyāmasundara: So this persona, or this mask that someone wears, or show it to their family or their friends, is not the whole self. He says that the, behind that mask there is what's called the shadow, or those repressed dispositions which a person has but does not show.

Prabhupāda: That is explained in Bhāgavatam, apaśyatām ātma-tattvaṁ gṛheṣu gṛha-medhinām (SB 2.1.2). Those who are not seeing the position of spiritual, as the spirit soul, they are so much attached in this family life, worldly life, national life, (indistinct) material life, this life, that life. They are all false, but because he has no knowledge of the soul, he is attached to all these things. Apaśyatām ātma-tattvam (SB 2.1.2). Ātma-tattvam means the science of soul. That he does not know; therefore he is attached, gṛheṣu gṛha-medhinām. These are different types of gṛha. Just like a man is not very much advanced in nationalism, he thinks "This my house is everything." And one who has developed that like Gandhi, his family life developed into nationalism. So that is also gṛha. He is asking, I mean to say, Englishman, "Go away! It is mine." But that mahātmā, that greatness is simply expanding beyond the gṛha. He's a still gṛha-medhi. We don't say like that, "Oh, you Englishman, you cannot have Kṛṣṇa consciousness." So that, therefore, those who are Kṛṣṇa conscious, they are mahātmā. (indistinct) These kind of mahātmās, they are not mahātmā, they are gṛha-medhis, but they have been given the title, false title. Just like in Bengali we say, the mother's love is child, and the child is blind. Still, "Oh, my child's eyes are just like lotus flower." (greets guests) (break)

Page Title:Family attachment (Lectures)
Compiler:Visnu Murti, RupaManjari
Created:12 of May, 2013
Totals by Section:BG=0, SB=0, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=64, Con=0, Let=0
No. of Quotes:64