Etiquette (Conversations)

Expressions researched:
"etiquette"

1968 Conversations and Morning Walks

Interview -- March 9, 1968, San Francisco:

Prabhupāda: Now, the idea is that we take the remnants of food offered to Kṛṣṇa. Now, when you offer something to some respectable person, you ask him, "What can I offer you?" If I go to your house and if you want to offer me something to eat, you will ask me what I wish to eat. That is the etiquette. So similarly, we have to offer Kṛṣṇa what Kṛṣṇa likes to eat. So how we can know? In this book we have the things, what Kṛṣṇa wants. He says, "You give Me foodstuff, patraṁ puṣpaṁ phalaṁ toyaṁ (BG 9.26) fruits, flowers, grains, milk, like that." So our diet is Kṛṣṇa prasādam.

1969 Conversations and Morning Walks

Conversation Including Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.2.1-34 Recitation & Explanation -- April 1, 1969, San Francisco:

Prabhupāda: Yes, I'll chant. Hare Kṛṣṇa. Oh, thank you very much. All should be offered there, Jagannātha. The etiquette is nice. Everything should be offered to the, through the spiritual master. That is the etiquette. No direct.

1971 Conversations and Morning Walks

Room Conversation -- January 17, 1971, Allahabad:

Prabhupāda: (aside:) Anyone? Everyone. Come on. Not in the left hand. Don't give anything by left hand; don't take anything. That is a etiquette. Hare Kṛṣṇa. Yes. Yes.

Room Conversation -- July 18, 1971, Detroit:

Mohsin Hassan: You have ten swamis. And outside of swamis, what's the lower...

Prabhupāda: Now, they're competent. They can, not only the swamis, even the gṛhasthas, they are called dāsa adhikārī, and brahmacārīs, everyone can, whoever is initiated, he is competent to make disciples. But as a matter of etiquette they do not do so in the presence of their spiritual master. This is the etiquette. Otherwise, they are competent. They can make disciples and spread. They can recruit more members in this. They do, but they are being trained up. Just like here in this meeting, one of my disciples, he is acting as priest. It is not myself; he is acting. So some of my students, they are acting as priests, some of them are swamis, so they are competent to make disciples.

1972 Conversations and Morning Walks

Talk with Bob Cohen -- February 27-29, 1972, Mayapura:

Prabhupāda: We shall put forward so many false proprietor, false friends, false enjoyer, and they will fight one another. This is the situation of the world. If this education is given and people takes this knowledge, there is peace, śāntim ṛcchati. Immediately there is peace. This is knowledge. And if anyone follows this principle, he's honest. He does not claim "It is mine." He everything knows it is Kṛṣṇa's, so therefore everything should be utilized for Kṛṣṇa's service. That is honesty. If this pencil belongs to me the etiquette is... Just like my students sometimes do: "Can I use this pencil?" "Yes." This is etiquette, I say, "Yes, you can." Similarly, if I know that everything belongs to Kṛṣṇa, without His permission I'll not use. That is honesty. And that is knowledge. And one does not know, he's ignorant, he's foolish, and foolish man commits all criminality.

Conversation with Bajaj and Bhusan -- September 11, 1972, Arlington, Texas, At Their Home:

Prabhupāda: Why don't you give the ladies first, these ladies? (Hindi) Yes. I am old man. Old men, children, ladies, they must be first supplied. That's...

Guest (2): First (Hindi)

Prabhupāda: Our Indian etiquette is that, first brāhmaṇas, then woman, children, then others.

1973 Conversations and Morning Walks

Room Conversation With David Lawrence -- July 12, 1973, London:

Prabhupāda: In every śāstra the spiritual master is recognized as personally the Supreme Lord. But in... Why he is recognized? Kintu prabhor yaḥ priya eva tasya. Because he's the most dear servant of the Lord. And that is natural. Suppose some representative of some firm comes, and if I know that he is the most confidential representative, I must respect him very nicely so that he may be impressed and he may report, "These people are very nice." (laughter) Oh. So this is the ordinary etiquette, what to speak of the actual representative of God.

Room Conversation -- September 19, 1973, Bombay:

Guest (2): If I feel I have love for Kṛṣṇa, is that enough to be a devotee.

Prabhupāda: But you must show how your love... Simply if you say... Suppose, anywhere in this material world, if you say somebody that "I love you," but there is no symptoms of love, then what kind of love? Love symptoms means dadāti, giving. First symptom. Just like when a boy goes to love a girl, he brings something. That is ordinary etiquette. So first beginning of love is dadāti, pratigṛhṇāti. If I love you, I must give you. And if you offer me, I will take it, I will take something. Pratigṛhṇāti. Exchange, giving and taking. Dadāti pratigṛhṇāti, bhuṅkte bhojayate. If you love somebody, give him to eat, and whatever he gives you, you also eat. Dadāti pratigṛhṇāti bhuṅkte bhojayate, guhyam ākhyāti pṛcchati. And if you love somebody then you disclose your mind to him and try to understand him also. By these six processes the symptoms of love is there. But if you say that "I love you," but there is no action...

Morning Walk -- December 5, 1973, Los Angeles:

Prabhupāda: Sannyāsī, sannyāsī is in the material platform, and Vaiṣṇava is in the spiritual platform.

Umāpati: So then the Vaiṣṇava is superior to a sannyāsī?

Prabhupāda: Yes. He's not sannyāsī. He's above sannyāsī.

Umāpati: Oh. But a Vaiṣṇava would always offer his respects to a sannyāsī. Is that not true?

Prabhupāda: Yes, Kṛṣṇa was offering respect to His elderly persons. That is etiquette.

1974 Conversations and Morning Walks

Room Conversation with Richard Webster, chairman, Societa Filosofica Italiana -- May 24, 1974, Rome:

Richard Webster: Yes, I appreciate that very much. I only say is it not possible for things to be dedicated to God without actually being placed on the altar in that way? I mean what people may be doing that in different ways maybe...

Prabhupāda: No, thing is, if you want to offer to God, then—God is all-pure—the things you offer, that must be pure. And you must follow the instruction of God. Suppose if you want to give me something eatable, as a matter of etiquette, you ask me, "What can I offer you?" And if I say that "You offer me this thing, and that is very nice," you cannot offer me according to your whims. That may not be acceptable by Him.

Room Conversation -- June 28, 1974, Melbourne:

Satsvarūpa: Prabhupāda, you said that we should respect everyone as a devotee, but then also you teach that...

Prabhupāda: No, no. By qualification, a Vaiṣṇava respects everyone.

Satsvarūpa: But then there's also a teaching not to respect a nondevotee even if he's a big man. We may formally offer him respect, but if...

Prabhupāda: That's all right. Yes. Formality, you should be respectful. Suppose your enemy—that is etiquette-comes in your room. But when he has come to your room, you should offer him respect: "Come on, come on. Sit down." That is etiquette. You know that "He's my enemy." That... The etiquette according to Vedic civilization: gṛhe śatrum api prāptaṁ viśvastam akuto-bhayam. Even your enemy comes at your home, you should treat with him in such a nice way that he'll forget that you are his enemy.

1975 Conversations and Morning Walks

Room Conversation with Yogi Bhajan -- June 7, 1975, Honolulu:

Yogi Bhajan: No, I may not agree with your philosophy, and you may not agree with my philosophy, but one thing we both have agreed that you are you, and I am I, and both can have respect and love for each other. And there has to be a place where everybody should be given that opportunity.

Prabhupāda: That is going on. When I meet you I say, "Yes sir." You say, "Yes sir." That is all right. That is social etiquette. But real unity is on the platform of spirit soul. Paṇḍitāḥ sama-darśinaḥ (BG 5.18). Paṇḍita, he is sama-darśina.

Room Conversation with writer, Sandy Nixon -- July 13, 1975, Philadelphia:

Woman: You have said that you are very small and that you are not God, and yet it appears to me as an outsider that the devotees treat you as if you were God.

Prabhupāda: Yes, that is devotee's duty. Just like a government officer. Personally he is not very important, but so long he executes government order, he should be respected as government. That is the way. Even a ordinary policeman comes, you have to respect him because he is government man. But that does not mean he is government. He is respected. Sākṣād-dharitvena samasta-śāstrair uktas tathā bhāvyata eva sadbhiḥ **. If that man thinks that "I have become government. People are respecting me," then he is foolish. So... But it is the etiquette. If the government man comes, you should respect him as government.

Morning Walk -- November 2, 1975, Nairobi:

Indian man (4): And their theory is that... I asked Vipramukhya Swami that "Why you have put this? Why you say to your disciple that we should not see the face of the woman?" He said that, "We should avoid." But I said, "Well, okay, when you are walking on the road automatically you will see the ladies." He said, "We turn our face to one side." I said, "First you have seen the woman. Then you are turning." (laughter) "You will look further. You have not seen the women. You have no sense, you know."

Prabhupāda: These are all bogus things. One should train himself that matravāt para-dareṣu, all women, "my mother." Then it will be possible to live... Therefore the etiquette is to address every woman, "Ma, ma, mother." That is the etiquette.

1976 Conversations and Morning Walks

Garden Conversation -- June 28, 1976, New Vrindaban:

Prabhupāda: Formerly in the currency, when you go to take some exchange, it was the etiquette of the teller to ask you, "What you want, silver money, gold money or paper money?" It was their duty. If you say "I want gold money," they will pay in gold money. Not only it is written in the paper, "I promise to pay," but the promise was kept. If he wants, "Give me payment in gold," they will pay. And now, to keep gold, hoarding gold, is illegal. So you cannot ask. This is going on, legalized cheating. You have to accept this paper money. That's all.

Room Conversation -- August 2, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm):

Hari-śauri: Yes, you told me before, Bon Mahārāja and Tīrtha Mahārāja, they were writing all these big, big men, but they told them frankly, that "I'm not going to do anything for you."

Prabhupāda: None of them. Formerly, a British governor, secretary, was a friend. You could get some service from him. The Britishers they knew the etiquette that if friends ask some help, I must help you. That is etiquette.

Room Conversation -- August 3, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm):

Bhagavān: One time you said that they criticized you when you were going to America because you did not know about the knife and the fork?

Prabhupāda: Yes. Bon Mahārāja. And the book English Etiquette. Very big book. How to sit, how to laugh, how to smile, how to pass water, how to this... (laughter) And they would learn it and waste time.

Room Conversation -- September 11, 1976, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: So, you just officially receive them. He's got M.A. Ph.D. Good man. This is etiquette.

Evening Darsana -- December 3, 1976, Hyderabad:

Prabhupāda: The modern scientists, their first business is to deny that Supreme. That is modern. It is a curse for the scientist if they talk of God. Amongst the scientists this is an etiquette, not to talk of God. Everything science. Means everything nonsense, passing on as scientist.

Room Conversation -- December 26, 1976, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: As far one who is paṇḍita, in the position of Rūpa Gosvāmī, for him, paṇḍitāḥ sama-darśinaḥ (BG 5.18).

Indian man: He'll see woman and man equal.

Prabhupāda: There is no difference. And if he makes such distinction, then how he's paṇḍita? Then he's not paṇḍita. But it is etiquette, mātā svasā duhitā vā. One should not very closely sit down even with mother, sister, and daughter. That restriction is there. But that does not mean that one should not see even a woman. So we are following that principle. Never mind, man or woman, she can offer her respect, but not very near. That restriction must be there.

1977 Conversations and Morning Walks

Morning Walk -- January 6, 1976, Bombay:

Girirāja: So today... Actually I was thinking of phoning his wife because she was not well or one of our ladies could call her and then if she's still not well they could go and visit her. And if she is well, they could invite her that if she wants to come then she'll bring him.

Prabhupāda: Mm. Don't bother. But as an etiquette (indistinct).

Morning Walk -- January 9, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: (Sanskrit) Everyone is (Sanskrit). That is according to his position. That does not mean equal. Kṛṣṇa Himself worshiped Sudāmā Vipra. That does not mean Sudāmā Vipra is as good as the Personality of Godhead. When Nārada was coming in Dvārakā, Kṛṣṇa immediately got down and... Nārada was smiling, "Just see the fun." But etiquette. Nārada never said that "I am better than Kṛṣṇa or equal to Kṛṣṇa." Never said.

Room Conversation -- January 19, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: He! One man. If you argue in that way, many people, then there will be no answer. You should know the etiquette. How can I answer so many person at a time?

Evening Darsana -- January 23, 1977, Bhuvanesvara:

Prabhupāda: The brāhmaṇas were so learned at that time. Therefore brāhmaṇas were addressed as Pandita. Panditaji. Still they're addressed. Brāhmaṇas were addressed as Pandita, kṣatriyas were addressed as Thakura, vaiśyas were addressed as Mahājana, and śūdras were addressed as Chaudhuri. Yes, still. In northern India this is the etiquette.

Morning Talk -- April 25, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: No, no. Kārttikeya. He... Nobody should speak when I am speaking.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: No.

Prabhupāda: Unless he's permitted. That is the etiquette. It is not ordinary talk.

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: No.

Prabhupāda: Everyone should take note of this, and you can privately say, "You never speak like that. The etiquette is: when you are permitted by Guru Mahārāja, you can speak," not that "He is speaking. I know better than him. I shall speak something." That's very licentious. It is not ordinary talk. The system is unless he is ordered that "You explain," then nobody can talk.

Room Conversation with Mr. Myer -- July 2, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: It is not helping ISKCON.

Mr. Myer: Hare Kṛṣṇa. Within the scope the support is gone.

Prabhupāda: There is no question of support. It is etiquette.

Mr. Myer: It is etiquette now.

Akṣayānanda: Etiquette.

Prabhupāda: American is giving. I am permanent resident of America. If they are giving Indians permanent resident for some business, why not Americans?

Mr. Myer: Well, that is because Indira... She was prime minister, you see. She was very bad...

Prabhupāda: So that is gone.

Room Conversation -- October 21, 1977, Vrndavana:

Prabhupāda: ...such a way he'll call laughing. Gravity should be maintained. And laughing means taking things trifling. That is not allowed. This is the etiquette. That is what we are teaching. You are simple, but this is the etiquette. Understand me right or not?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes, Śrīla Prabhupāda. We understand very well. We apologize that we were taking too lightly.