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Controlling sex life

Bhagavad-gita As It Is

BG Chapters 1 - 6

In the bhakti school, a householder brahmacārī is allowed controlled sex life because the cult of bhakti-yoga is so powerful that one automatically loses sexual attraction, being engaged in the superior service of the Lord.
BG 6.13-14, Purport: No one can perform correct yoga practice through sex indulgence. Brahmacarya is taught, therefore, from childhood, when one has no knowledge of sex life. Children at the age of five are sent to the guru-kula, or the place of the spiritual master, and the master trains the young boys in the strict discipline of becoming brahmacārīs. Without such practice, no one can make advancement in any yoga, whether it be dhyāna, jñāna or bhakti. One who, however, follows the rules and regulations of married life, having a sexual relationship only with his wife (and that also under regulation), is also called a brahmacārī. Such a restrained householder brahmacārī may be accepted in the bhakti school, but the jñāna and dhyāna schools do not even admit householder brahmacārīs. They require complete abstinence without compromise. In the bhakti school, a householder brahmacārī is allowed controlled sex life because the cult of bhakti-yoga is so powerful that one automatically loses sexual attraction, being engaged in the superior service of the Lord.

BG Chapters 13 - 18

If anyone, even if he is a householder, wants to make progress in spiritual life, he must control his sex life and should not beget a child without the purpose of serving Kṛṣṇa.
BG 16.1-3, Purport: Then as far as dama (self-control) is concerned, it is not only meant for other orders of religious society, but is especially meant for the householder. Although he has a wife, a householder should not use his senses for sex life unnecessarily. There are restrictions for the householders even in sex life, which should only be engaged in for the propagation of children. If he does not require children, he should not enjoy sex life with his wife. Modern society enjoys sex life with contraceptive methods or more abominable methods to avoid the responsibility of children. This is not in the transcendental quality, but is demoniac. If anyone, even if he is a householder, wants to make progress in spiritual life, he must control his sex life and should not beget a child without the purpose of serving Kṛṣṇa. If he is able to beget children who will be in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, one can produce hundreds of children, but without this capacity one should not indulge only for sense pleasure.

Srimad-Bhagavatam

SB Canto 3

A brahmacārī practices celibacy, controlling his sex life.
SB 3.28.4, Purport: A brahmacārī practices celibacy, controlling his sex life. One cannot enjoy unrestricted sex life and practice yoga; this is rascaldom. So-called yogīs advertise that one can go on enjoying as one likes and simultaneously become a yogī, but this is totally unauthorized. It is very clearly explained here that one must observe celibacy. Brahmacaryam means that one leads his life simply in relationship with Brahman, or in full Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Those who are too addicted to sex life cannot observe the regulations which will lead them to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Sex life should be restricted to persons who are married. A person whose sex life is restricted in marriage is also called a brahmacārī.
The most important aspect of sense control is controlling sex life. That is called brahmacarya.
SB 3.28.5, Purport: The yogic practices in general and haṭha-yoga in particular are not ends in themselves; they are means to the end of attaining steadiness. First one must be able to sit properly, and then the mind and attention will become steady enough for practicing yoga. Gradually, one must control the circulation of vital air, and with such control he will be able to withdraw the senses from sense objects. In the previous verse it is stated that one must observe celibacy. The most important aspect of sense control is controlling sex life. That is called brahmacarya. By practicing the different sitting postures and controlling the vital air, one can control and restrain the senses from unrestricted sense enjoyment.

SB Canto 5

One who can control sex life and who instead of wasting semen by discharging it, can use this most important substance accumulated in the body to enrich the brain. One who can completely control sex life is able to work wonderfully with his brain, especially in remembering.
SB 5.1.26, Purport: The word ūrdhva-retasaḥ in this verse is very significant. Ūrdhva-retaḥ refers to one who can control sex life and who instead of wasting semen by discharging it, can use this most important substance accumulated in the body to enrich the brain. One who can completely control sex life is able to work wonderfully with his brain, especially in remembering. Thus students who simply hear Vedic instructions once from their teacher could remember them verbatim without needing to read books, which therefore did not exist in former times.

Lectures

Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures

Therefore in the beginning it was said, that "without sex life," the determination. Or controlled sex life. If you indulge in sex life then this determination will not come.
Lecture on BG 6.16-24 -- Los Angeles, February 17, 1969: determination can be actually practiced or can be actually attained by one who does not indulge in sex life. His determination is strong. Therefore in the beginning

Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures

This is the purification process, austerity, penance, controlling sex life, controlling the mind, controlling the senses, giving in charity whatever you possess, everything regulated. This is one process. And the other process is this bhakti-yoga.
Lecture on SB 1.2.19 -- Los Angeles, August 22, 1972: So the bhakti-yoga process is like that. Bhakti-yoga process means if you take to this process, then immediately, very quickly, within a second, you come to the top floor. Otherwise, you have to go by step by step, one step, two step. Although both the process leading to the target, to the topmost floor, the one is very slow and the other is very quick, immediate. Just like another example: if there is fog. You have got experience in your country, sometimes there is fog. You cannot see even a person one yard off from you. So there are so many processes to take precaution in the fog. But somehow or other, if the sun is little strong, immediately, the fog is over. So similarly, to purify ourself... This is the purification process, austerity, penance, controlling sex life, controlling the mind, controlling the senses, giving in charity whatever you possess, everything regulated. This is one process. And the other process is this bhakti-yoga. it was said, that "without sex life," the determination. Or controlled sex life. If you indulge in sex life then this determination will not come. Flickering determination. You see. Therefore sex life should be controlled or given up. If it is possible to give up altogether, if not, controlled. Then you'll get determination. Because after all this determination is bodily affair. So these are the methods how to get determination.
The more you restrain your sex life, the more you become strong for spiritual life. Brahmacaryeṇa. Brahma..., brahmacarya means to restrain, control sex life.
Lecture on SB 6.1.6-15 -- San Francisco, September 12, 1968: You are habituated to unrestricted sex life, and if I say that "Don't have illicit sex life," it will be troublesome for you. Similarly, so many things are there, we are habituated, and if they are restricted there will be some trouble. So voluntarily accepting some trouble is called tapasya, or austerity. Just like a patient, if he wants to be cured, he has to follow the restriction imposed by the physician. And he follows it. Just like doctor says it, "Oh, you cannot get up. You must lie down twenty-four hours." He doesn't like it, but he has to do it. This is called tapasya, austerity. Penance. Austerity. Just like we say that on the ekādaśī day you should fast. So fasting is not very, I mean to say, pleasant, but one has to do. This is called tapasya. Brahmacaryeṇa. Brahmacaryeṇa means celibacy. The more you restrain your sex life, the more you become strong for spiritual life. Brahmacaryeṇa. Brahma..., brahmacarya means to restrain, control sex life. Therefore somebody asked me, "Swamiji, why you are stressing so much on married life?" I have given this answer to many gentleman in the television, that because we have got a demand for sex life. But if we are restricted with married life, then there is no, I mean to say, illicit sex life. At least we refrain from that.

Sri Caitanya-caritamrta Lectures

Brahmacarya means controlling sex life. That is required. If you can control sex impulse... Because that is the medium of bondage.
Lecture on CC Adi-lila 1.11 -- Mayapur, April 4, 1975: So if you want to learn that science, how to become immortal, then you have to undergo austerities. That austerities begins with brahmācārya. Tapasā brahmacaryeṇa [SB 6.1.13]. Brahmacarya means controlling sex life. That is required. If you can control sex impulse... Because that is the medium of bondage. Here in this material world everyone is working hard to enjoy sex life. That is the main aim. Main aim is... And that you will find, in your country especially, very, very prominent. In Paris very, very old men, they are going to the club at night simply for the same purpose. So this has to be controlled. Controlled means mind and the senses. And the prominent sense is sex. That is called control. So if you want to become immortal, then you must practice this. Of course, in Western countries, it is very difficult. They say, "It is impossible." Big, big men, they say, "It is impossible." Yes, it is impossible. Therefore śāstra has given concession that you require sex life, but enjoy it in married life, but no illicit sex. At least, stop this. If you want to be immortal, these things are to be followed: no illicit sex, no intoxication, no meat-eating, no gambling. Then you can think of immortality, gradually. That is called tapasya. Tapasā brahmacaryeṇa [SB 6.1.13]. Every śāstra, you'll find. At least at the end of life one should be completely free from these bad habits. That is called sannyāsa.

Festival Lectures

One has to undergo tapasya; brahmacārya, celibacy. Tapasya. Brahmacārya means stopping sex life or controlling sex life. Brahmacārya. Therefore Vedic civilization is, from the very beginning, to train the boys to become brahmacārī, celibacy.
Radhastami, Srimati Radharani's Appearance Day -- London, August 29, 1971: So human life is not meant for hog civilization. So modern civilization is hog civilization, although it is polished with shirt and coat. So, we shall try to understand. This Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement is for understanding Kṛṣṇa. For understanding Kṛṣṇa, it requires little labor, austerity, penance. Tapasya brahmacāryeṇa śamena damena ca. Tapasya. One has to undergo tapasya; brahmacārya, celibacy. Tapasya. Brahmacārya means stopping sex life or controlling sex life. Brahmacārya. Therefore Vedic civilization is, from the very beginning, to train the boys to become brahmacārī, celibacy. Not that modern days, the schools, boys and girls, ten years, twelve years, they're enjoying. The brain is spoiled. They cannot understand higher things. The brain tissues are lost. So without becoming brahmacārī, nobody can understand spiritual life. Tapasya brahmacāryeṇa śamena damena ca. Śama means controlling the senses, controlling the mind; damena, controlling the senses; tyāgena; śaucena, cleanliness; tyāga, tyāga means charity.

Conversations and Morning Walks

1968 Conversations and Morning Walks

First of all, a boy is trained as brahmacārī, spiritual life. Then he is advised not to enter family life. But if he is unable to control his sex life, he is allowed, "All right. You get yourself married." Then he remains in family life.
Press Interview -- December 30, 1968, Los Angeles:

Prabhupāda: Yes, that is the Vedic regulation. Everyone should give up family connection at a certain age, after the age of 50. One should not remain in family life. That is Vedic culture. Not that up to death, one is in family-wise, no. That is not good.

Journalist: Can you explain that.

Prabhupāda: First of all, a boy is trained as brahmacārī, spiritual life. Then he is advised not to enter family life. But if he is unable to control his sex life, he is allowed, "All right. You get yourself married." Then he remains in family life. So he marries at the age of 24 or 25. 25 years, let him enjoy sex life. In the meantime, he gets some elderly children. So at the age of 50, the husband and wife goes away from the home and they travel in all places of pilgrimage just to detach them from family affection. In this way, when the man is a little more advanced, he asks his wife that "You go and take care of the family and your sons, grown-up, they'll take care of you. Let me take sannyāsa." So he becomes alone and preaches the knowledge which he has acquired. This is Vedic civilization. Not that a man should remain in family life from birth to death. No. In Buddhism also there is compulsory regulative principle that a Buddhist must become a sannyāsī at least for ten years. Yes. Because the whole idea is how to attain spiritual perfection. So if one remains in his family life, encumbered, he cannot make any spiritual advancement. But if the family also, whole family is Kṛṣṇa conscious, then it is helpful. But that is very rare. Because the husband may be Kṛṣṇa conscious, the wife may not be. But the culture was so nice that everyone remained Kṛṣṇa conscious.

1977 Conversations and Morning Walks

So if one could not control his sex life, then how he is swami? He's cheater.
Conversation with Yogi Amrit Desai of Kripalu Ashram (PA USA) -- January 2, 1977, Bombay:

Prabhupāda: Swami means who is the controller of the senses.

Yogi Amrit Desai: Master of the senses.

Prabhupāda: Senses. So instead of swami, he is servant of his senses, and he is preaching as swami. These swamis go to the foreign countries. Indriyārtheṣu vairāgyam.

Yogi Amrit Desai: They have vairāgya to his senses, of the senses.

Prabhupāda: A sannyāsī... A sannyāsī means he has ceased all material desire. There is no material desire. And the concentrated material enjoyment is sex. So if one could not control his sex life, then how he is swami? He's cheater.

Yogi Amrit Desai: That is the most potent of all the external attachments.

Prabhupāda: That is the essence. Mahat-sevāṁ dvāram āhur vimuktes. Mahat-sevāṁ dvāram āhur vimuktes tamo-dvāraṁ yoṣitāṁ saṅgī-saṅgam [SB 5.5.2]. Tamo-dvāram. Viśatāṁ tamisram adānta-gobhiḥ. Adānta-gobhiḥ, by uncontrolled senses, one is going down and down to the darkest region of material existence. Adānta-gobhir viśatāṁ tamisram. So those who are sensuous... One should not be sensuous. That is also... And if he mixes with sensuous persons, then he also going to the hell.
Page Title:Controlling sex life
Compiler:Visnu Murti, Haya
Created:13 of Dec, 2008
Totals by Section:BG=2, SB=3, CC=0, OB=0, Lec=5, Con=2, Let=0
No. of Quotes:12