Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya-lila Chapter 02 - The Ecstatic Manifestations of Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu
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- According to the parampara system, I (Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami) wish to take the dust from the lotus feet of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Nityananda Prabhu, Advaita Prabhu, and all the associates of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu
- Actually, You are My enjoyer. You have appeared just to give Me happiness, and this is one of Your expert activities
- Again He addressed Svarupa Damodara and Raya Ramananda, speaking despondently, "Alas! My friends, you can now know the certainty within My heart, and after knowing My heart you should judge whether I am correct or not. You can speak of this properly"
- All glories to Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu! All glories to Lord Nityananda! All glories to Advaitacandra! And all glories to all the devotees of the Lord - CC Madhya 2.2
- All these inauspicious days & nights are not passing, for I have not met You. It is difficult to know how to pass all this time. But You are the friend of the helpless & an ocean of mercy. Kindly give Me Your audience, for I am in a precarious position
- Although the three doors of the house were always closed, the Lord would nonetheless go out and sometimes would be found at the Jagannatha Temple, before the gate known as Simha-dvara. And sometimes the Lord would fall flat into the sea
- Among His associates, Caitanya enjoyed paternal loving affection from Paramananda Puri, friendly affection with Ramananda Raya, unalloyed service from Govinda and others, and humors of conjugal love with Gadadhara, Jagadananda and Svarupa Damodara
- Anxiety, impotence, humility, anger and impatience were all like soldiers fighting, and the madness of love of Godhead was the cause
- As a result, sometimes Caitanya Mahaprabhu would laugh, sometimes cry, sometimes dance and sometimes sing. Sometimes He would get up and run here and there, and sometimes fall on the ground and lose consciousness
- At such times He would be greatly morose and would cry, "Alas, where is Vrndavana? Where is Krsna, the son of the King of the cowherd men? Where is that person who plays the flute"
- Because Lord Caitanya could not meet the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Krsna, His mind burned. He began to ask Krsna about the means by which He could reach Him
- Because of the various kinds of ecstasy, contradictory states of mind occurred, and this resulted in a great fight between different types of ecstasy
- Blood flowed from all the pores of His body, and all His teeth were loosened. At one moment His whole body became slender, and at another moment His whole body became fat
- By personally tasting the mellows of love of Godhead, Caitanya Mahaprabhu taught His direct disciples the process. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is a wealthy capitalist possessing the touchstone of love of God
- Caitanya continued, "Actually, My love for Krsna is far, far away. Whatever I do is actually an exhibition of pseudo love of Godhead. When you see Me cry, I am simply falsely demonstrating My great fortune. Please try to understand this beyond a doubt"
- Caitanya said, "Even though I do not see the moonlike face of Krsna as He plays on His flute, and although there is no possibility of My meeting Him, still I take care of My own body. That is the way of lust. In this way, I maintain My flylike life"
- Caitanya said, "Love of Godhead, devoid of cheating propensities, is not possible within this material world. If there is such a love, there cannot be separation, for if there is separation, how can one live"
- Caitanya said, "Love of Krsna is so powerful that it simultaneously defeats the poisonous effects of a snake, as well as the happiness derived from pouring nectar on one's head. It is perceived as doubly effective, simultaneously poisonous & nectarean"
- Caitanya said, "Pure love for Krsna, just like gold from the Jambu River, does not exist in human society. If it existed, there could not be separation. If separation were there, one could not live"
- Caitanya said, "The poisonous effects of love of Godhead defeat the severe and fresh poison of the serpent. Yet there is simultaneously transcendental bliss, which pours down and defeats the pride of nectar and diminishes its value"
- During His last twelve years, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu always manifested all the symptoms of ecstasy in separation from Krsna
- During His previous pastimes in Vrndavana, Lord Krsna desired to enjoy the three different types of ecstasy, but despite great endeavor, He could not taste them. Such ecstasies are the monopoly of Srimati Radharani
- He also passed His time reading the books and singing the songs of Candidasa and Vidyapati, and listening to quotations from the Jagannatha-vallabha-nataka, Krsna-karnamrta and Gita-govinda
- He who loosens the hair of the gopis, who is the supreme source of transcendental bliss and My life and soul? Has He come before My eyes again
- He would think that His life was successful because He had seen the lotus-eyed one, whom, if seen, pacifies the body, mind and eyes
- I (Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami) am faultless because I have written herein whatever I have understood from Svarupa Damodara Gosvami and Rupa and Raghunatha dasa Gosvamis
- I (Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami) have already given a synopsis of all the facts and figures of Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's last pastimes, and I have a desire to describe them elaborately
- I (Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami) have written this book to describe the simple substance as I have heard it from superiors. If I become involved in someone's likes and dislikes, I cannot possibly write the simple truth
- I have now become too old and disturbed by invalidity. While I write, my hands tremble. I cannot remember anything, nor can I see or hear properly. Still I write, and this is a great wonder
- I worship herewith the lotus feet of all kinds of devotees, both advanced and neophyte. I request all of them to be satisfied with me
- If by Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's mercy I live for so many days that I can fulfill my desires, I will give full consideration to these pastimes
- If I (Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami) remain longer and am fortunate enough to receive the mercy of Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, I shall try to describe them again more elaborately
- If one has but a little love of Godhead, he can perceive its powerful effects. It can only be compared to poison and nectar mixed together
- If one says that Sri Caitanya-caritamrta is full of Sanskrit verses and therefore not understandable by a common man, I reply that what I have described are the pastimes of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and that for me to satisfy everyone is not possible
- If one tastes such love of Godhead, he can compare it to hot sugarcane. When one chews hot sugarcane, his mouth burns, yet he cannot give it up
- In an instant, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu regained external consciousness & saw two persons before Him. Questioning them, He asked, "Am I conscious? What dreams have I been seeing? What craziness have I spoken? Have you heard some expressions of humility"
- In order to taste them, Sri Krsna accepted the position of Srimati Radharani in the form of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu
- In reply to those critics who say that Sri Caitanya-caritamrta is full of Sanskrit verses, it can be said that Srimad-Bhagavatam is also full of Sanskrit verses, as are the commentaries on Srimad-Bhagavatam
- In the attitude of Radharani, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu addressed the gopis, "My dear friends, where is that Krsna, Cupid personified, who has the effulgence of a kadamba flower, who is sweetness itself, the nectar of My eyes and mind"
- In the ecstatic mood of conjugal love, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was on the highest platform; therefore, all the exuberant ecstasies were naturally visible in His body
- In this Caitanya-caritamrta there is no contradictory conclusion, nor is anyone else's opinion accepted
- In this chapter I (Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami) have briefly described the antya-lila. Whatever I have not described I shall describe extensively in the future
- In this chapter I (Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami) have to some extent described the essence of the pastimes of Lord Caitanya at the end. If I die in the meantime and cannot describe them in detail, at least the devotees will have this transcendental treasure
- In this way Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu always expressed bewilderment and lamented in separation from Krsna. At such times He used to recite the slokas from Ramananda Raya's drama, known as Jagannatha-vallabha-nataka
- In this way Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu used to manifest wonderful ecstatic symptoms. His mind appeared vacant, and there were only hopelessness and disappointment in His words
- In this way various ecstatic emotions evolved, & the mind of Caitanya filled with anxiety. He could not escape even for a moment. In this way, because of fierce feelings of separation, His patience began to totter, and He began to recite various verses
- In this way, because of Krsna's sweet qualities, Caitanya Mahaprabhu made different types of mistakes in His mind. Thus by reciting the following verse, He ascertained the presence of Lord Krsna
- In this way, Lord Caitanya used to revel in ecstasy day after day and exhibit these ecstasies before Svarupa and Ramananda Raya
- In this way, Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu lamented in a great ocean of sadness, and thus He opened the doors of His unhappiness. Forced by the waves of ecstasy, His mind wandered over transcendental mellows, and He recited another verse (as follows)
- In this way, the Lord's restlessness was awakened by ecstatic feelings, and His mind became agitated. No one could understand what course such ecstasy would take
- Lamenting in this way, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu opened the doors of grief within His heart. Morose, humble and disappointed, He recited a verse again and again with a despondent heart
- Lilasuka (Bilvamangala Thakura) was an ordinary human being, yet he developed many ecstatic symptoms in his body. What, then, is so astonishing about these symptoms' being manifest in the body of the Supreme Personality of Godhead
- Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu spoke, "My dear beautiful friend, if one develops love of Godhead, love of Krsna, the son of Nanda Maharaja, all the bitter and sweet influences of this love will manifest in one's heart. Such love of Godhead acts in two ways"
- Love for Lord Krsna is very pure, just like the waters of the Ganges. That love is an ocean of nectar. That pure attachment to Krsna does not conceal any spot, which would appear just like a spot of ink on a white cloth
- My dear Krsna, only You and I know the strength of Your beautiful features and, because of them, My unsteadiness. Now, this is My position; I do not know what to do or where to go. Where can I find You? I am asking You to give directions
- My dear Krsna, Your mind is always restless. You cannot remain in one place, but You are not at fault for this. You are actually the ocean of mercy, the friend of My heart. Therefore I have no reason to be angry with You
- My dear Lord, You are engaged in Your pastimes, and You utilize all the women in the universe according to Your desire. You are so kind to Me. Please divert Your attention to Me, for by fortune You have appeared before Me
- My dear Lord, You are the master and the life and soul of Vrndavana. Kindly arrange for the deliverance of Vrndavana. We have no leisure hours away from our many activities
- My dear Lord, You attract all the women of the universe, and You make adjustments for all of them when they appear. You are Lord Krsna, and You can enchant everyone, but on the whole, You are nothing but a debauchee. Who can honor You
- No one else knows about this. I want to see Your beautiful attractive face somewhere in a solitary place, but how can this be accomplished
- No one, not even Lord Brahma, can ascertain or even taste a drop of this confidential ocean of ecstasy, but Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, out of His causeless mercy, has distributed this love of Godhead all over the world
- Nonetheless, Srimad-Bhagavatam can be understood by everyone, as well as by advanced devotees who study the Sanskrit commentaries. Why, then, will people not understand the Caitanya-caritamrta
- O Krsna, O flute-player, the sweetness of Your early age is wonderful within these three worlds. You know My unsteadiness, and I know Yours
- O My Lord! O dearest one! O only friend of the universe! O Krsna, O restless one, O only ocean of mercy! O My Lord, O My enjoyer, O beloved to My eyes! Alas, when will You again be visible to Me
- O My Lord, O Supreme Personality of Godhead, O friend of the helpless! You are the only ocean of mercy! Because I (Bilvamangala Thakura) have not met You, My inauspicious days and nights have become unbearable. I do not know how I shall pass the time
- Radha said, "He has five arrows, and fixing them on His bow, He shoots them into the bodies of innocent women. Thus these women become invalids. It would be better if He took My life without hesitation, but He does not do so. He simply gives Me pain"
- Radha said, "Of what use are the eyes of one who does not see Krsna's face, which resembles the moon, is the birthplace of all beauty & the reservoir of the nectarean songs of His flute? Oh, let a thunderbolt strike his head! Why does he keep such eyes"
- Radharani continued, "'A human being does not live more than a hundred years. You should also consider that the youthfulness of a woman, which is the only attraction for Krsna, remains for only a few days"'
- Radharani continued, "'Even Cupid does not know of Our very much weakened condition. What should I tell anyone? No one can understand another's difficulties"'
- Radharani continued, "'If you say that Krsna is an ocean of transcendental qualities and therefore must be merciful some day, I can only say that He is like fire, which attracts moths by its dazzling brightness and kills them"'
- Radharani continued, "'My dear friends, unless I serve the transcendental form, qualities and pastimes of Sri Krsna, all My days and all My senses will become entirely useless"'
- Radharani continued, "'Now I am uselessly bearing the burden of My senses, which are like stone blocks and dried wood. I do not know how long I will be able to continue without shame"'
- Radharani continued, "'Our life is actually not under Our control, for youth will remain for two or three days and soon be finished. In this condition, O creator, what will be Our destination"'
- Radharani continued, "By nature loving affairs are very crooked. They are not entered with sufficient knowledge, nor do they consider whether a place is suitable or not, nor do they look forward to the results"
- Radharani continued, "By the ropes of His good qualities, Krsna, who is so unkind, has bound My neck and hands, and I am unable to get relief"
- Radharani continued, "I am now in an ocean of distress. It must be that now I am going to die, for My vital force no longer remains. This is My state of mind"
- Radharani continued, "I say, 'My dear friends, you are asking Me to be patient, saying that Krsna is an ocean of mercy and that some time in the future He will accept Me. However, I must say that this will not console Me"'
- Radharani continued, "If one does not taste it, he should die immediately after birth, and his tongue is to be considered no better than the tongue of a frog"
- Radharani continued, "In My loving affairs there is a person named Madana. His qualities are thus: Personally He possesses no gross body, yet He is very expert in giving pains to others"
- Radharani continued, "In the scriptures it is said that one person can never know the unhappiness in the mind of another. Therefore what can I say of My dear friends, Lalita and the others"
- Radharani continued, "My dear friends, please hear Me. I have lost all providential strength. Without Krsna, My body, consciousness and mind, as well as all My senses, are useless"
- Radharani continued, "Nor can they understand the unhappiness within Me. They simply try to console Me repeatedly, saying, 'Dear friend, be patient'"
- Radharani continued, "One who has touched such hands and feet has indeed tasted the effects of touchstone. If one has not touched them, his life is spoiled, and his body is like iron"
- Radharani continued, "One's nostrils are no better than the bellows of a blacksmith if one has not smelled the fragrance of Krsna's body, which is like the aroma of musk combined with that of the bluish lotus flower"
- Radharani continued, "The nectar from the lips of Lord Krsna and His transcendental qualities and characteristics surpass the taste of the essence of all nectar, and there is no fault in tasting such nectar"
- Radharani continued, "The only physician for this disease is Krsna Himself, but He is not taking care of this sprouting plant of devotional service. What can I say about the behavior of Krsna"
- Radharani continued, "The palms of Krsna's hands and the soles of His feet are so cool and pleasant that they can be compared only to the light of millions of moons"
- Radharani continued, "Topics about Krsna are like waves of nectar. If such nectar does not enter one's ear, the ear is no better than the hole of a damaged conchshell. Such an ear is created for no purpose"
- Radharani said, "'If by chance the transcendental form of Krsna comes before My path of vision, My heart, injured from being beaten, will be stolen away by Cupid, happiness personified"'
- Radharani said, "Because I could not see the beautiful form of Krsna to My heart's content, when I again see His form I shall decorate the phases of time with many jewels"
- Radharani said, "If by chance such a moment comes when I can once again see Krsna, then I shall worship those seconds, moments and hours with flower garlands and pulp of sandalwood and decorate them with all kinds of jewels and ornaments"
- Receiving orders from the above authorities and the Vaisnavas of Vrndavana, especially from Haridasa, the priest of Govindaji, I, Krsnadasa Kaviraja, have tried to describe one small particle of one drop of one wave of the ocean of Caitanya's pastimes
- Sometimes Caitanya Mahaprabhu mistook the small parks of the city for Vrndavana. Sometimes He would go there, dance and chant and sometimes fall unconscious in spiritual ecstasy
- Sometimes Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's hands, legs and head would all enter within His body, just like the withdrawn limbs of a tortoise
- Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu continued, "Indeed, not seeing the beautiful face of Krsna playing His flute, I continue to live My life like an insect, without purpose"
- Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu continued, "My dear friends, I have not the slightest tinge of love of Godhead within My heart. When you see Me crying in separation, I am just falsely exhibiting a demonstration of My great fortune"
- Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu continued, "My dear friends, you are all My life and soul; therefore I tell you that I possess no wealth of love for Krsna. Consequently My life is poverty-stricken. My limbs and senses are useless"
- Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is a wealthy capitalist possessing the touchstone of love of God. Not considering whether one is a proper or improper recipient, He gives His treasure to anyone and everyone. Thus He is the most munificent
- Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, "I feel shameful to disclose the activities of My heart. Nonetheless, I shall be done with all formalities and speak from the heart. Please hear"
- Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu then began to talk like this, "Is He the same person, personified sweetness, who is the pleasure of My eyes and mind, who is My life and soul? Has Krsna actually come before My eyes"
- Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu then began to talk like this: "Is Cupid personified present with the effulgence and reflection of the kadamba tree"
- Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu used to express His mind in this way: "Where is the Lord of My life, who is playing His flute? What shall I do now? Where should I go to find the son of Maharaja Nanda"
- Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu used to lament by saying, "Where is Sri Krsna, whose form is curved in three places? Where is the sweet song of His flute, and where is the bank of the Yamuna?"
- Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu used to lament by saying, "Where is the rasa dance? Where is that dancing, singing, and laughing? Where is My Lord, Madana-mohana, the enchanter of Cupid?"
- Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu would also run very fast across the sand dunes, mistaking them for Govardhana. As He ran, He would wail and cry loudly
- Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's state of mind, day and night, was practically identical to Radharani's state of mind when Uddhava came to Vrndavana to see the gopis
- Srimati Radharani continued lamenting about the consequences of loving Krsna, "My dear friend, I do not understand the regulative principles given by the creator. I loved Krsna for happiness, but the result was just the opposite"
- Srimati Radharani in distress spoke thus, "Oh, what shall I say of My distress? After I met Krsna My loving propensities sprouted, but upon separating from Him I sustained a great shock, which is now continuing like the sufferings of a disease"
- Srimati Radharani used to lament, "'Our Krsna does not realize what We have suffered from injuries inflicted in the course of loving affairs. We are actually misused by love because love does not know where to strike and where not to strike"'
- Staying near the Garuda-stambha, the Lord would look upon Lord Jagannatha. What can be said about the strength of that love? On the ground beneath the column of the Garuda-stambha was a deep ditch, and that ditch was filled with the water of His tears
- Such topics are not to be discussed freely because if they are, no one will understand them. Such are the wonderful pastimes of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu
- Taking My words as defamation, Lord Krsna has left Me. I know that He is gone, but kindly hear My prayers in praise: 'You are the satisfaction of My eyes. You are My wealth and My life. Alas, please give Me your audience once again'
- The body of the Lord was just like a field of sugarcane into which the mad elephants of ecstasy entered. There was a fight amongst the elephants, and in the process the entire field of sugarcane was destroyed
- The ecstatic symptoms of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu - including despondency, moroseness, humility, restlessness, joy, endurance and anger - instructed His body and mind
- The extraordinary transformations of the body due to transcendental feelings would never have been possible for anyone but the Lord, in whose body all transformations were manifest
- The joints of His hands and legs would sometimes become separated by eight inches, and they remained connected only by the skin
- The Lord constantly exhibited a state of mind reflecting the madness of separation. All His activities were based on forgetfulness, and His talks were always based on madness
- The pastimes of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu are the topmost of jewels. They have been kept in the storehouse of Svarupa Damodara Gosvami, who has explained them to Raghunatha dasa Gosvami, who has repeated them to me
- The small room beyond the corridor is called the Gambhira. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu used to stay in that room, but He did not sleep for a moment. All night He used to grind His mouth and head on the wall, and His face sustained injuries all over
- The symptoms of madness served as an impetus for remembering Krsna. The mood of ecstasy awoke love, disdain, defamation by words, pride, honor and indirect prayer. Thus Sri Krsna was sometimes blasphemed and sometimes honored
- There are only a few Sanskrit verses, and these have been explained in the Bengali vernacular. What is the difficulty in understanding
- There were different transformations of the body of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu: being stunned, trembling, perspiring, fading away of color, weeping, and choking of the voice. In this way His whole body was pervaded by transcendental joy
- Thus in the association of Svarupa Damodara and Raya Ramananda, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu passed His days and nights chanting and hearing with great pleasure
- Thus speaking, the son of Srimati Sacimata recited another wonderful verse, and Ramananda Raya and Svarupa Damodara heard this verse with rapt attention
- Thus there cannot be any incarnation more munificent than Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. There is no greater donor. Who can describe His transcendental qualities
- Thus transcendental madness was awakened in the body of the Lord, and He experienced despondency in mind and body. In this ecstatic condition, He began to speak as follows
- To whom should I speak? Who can understand My disappointment? Without the son of Nanda Maharaja, My heart is broken
- Unalloyed love of Krsna is like an ocean of happiness. If someone gets one drop of it, the whole world can drown in that drop. It is not befitting to express such love of Godhead, yet a madman must speak. But even though he speaks, no one believes him
- Unto one who is able to understand, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu has shown mercy by giving him the association of the servant of His own servant
- What can I (Srimati Radharani) say about the behavior of Krsna? Outwardly He is a very attractive young lover, but at heart He is a great cheat, very expert in killing others' wives
- Whatever little I have heard from Raghunatha dasa Gosvami I have described in this book, which is presented to all devotees
- When coming from the Jagannatha temple to return to His house, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu used to sit on the ground and mark it with His nails
- When Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was thus unconscious, He happened to meet the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Consequently He got up and immediately made a tumultuous sound, very loudly declaring, "Now Krsna, the great personality, is present"
- When Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu would see Jagannatha along with Balarama and Subhadra, He would immediately think that He had reached Kuruksetra, where all of them had come
- Whenever I had the chance to see Lord Krsna's face & His flute, even in a dream, two enemies would appear before Me. They were pleasure & Cupid, & since they took away My mind, I was not able to see the face of Krsna to the full satisfaction of My eyes
- While relating in synopsis form the last division of the pastimes of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu, in this chapter I (Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami) shall describe the Lord's transcendental ecstasy, which appears like madness due to His separation from Krsna
- Wonderful effects of Lord Caitanya's pastimes will bring love for Krsna