Some ask that if Kṛṣṇa is self-sufficient, why did He at all manifest the pastimes with the gopīs, which are disturbing to the so-called moralists of the world? The answer is that such activities show special mercy to the fallen, conditioned souls. The gopīs are expansions of His internal energy, but because Kṛṣṇa wanted to exhibit the rāsa-līlā, they appeared as ordinary human beings. In the material world, pleasure is ultimately manifested in the sex attraction between man and woman. The man lives simply to be attracted by women, and the woman lives simply to be attracted by men. That is the basic principle of material life. As soon as these attractions are combined, people become more and more implicated in material existence. In order to show them special favor, Kṛṣṇa exhibited this rāsa-līlā dance. It is just to captivate the conditioned souls. Since they are very much attracted by sex, they can enjoy the same life with Kṛṣṇa and thus become liberated from the material condition. In the Second Canto of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, Mahārāja Parīkṣit also explains that the pastimes and activities of Lord Kṛṣṇa are medicine for the conditioned souls. If they simply hear about Kṛṣṇa, they become relieved of the material disease. They are addicted to material enjoyment and are accustomed to reading sex literature, but by hearing these transcendental pastimes of Kṛṣṇa with the gopīs, they will be relieved of material contamination.
Attraction between man and woman
Expressions researched:
"A man is attracted by woman, and the woman is attracted by man"
|"A man wants woman, woman wants man"
|"Attraction between"
|"Attraction for"
|"attraction for man"
|"attraction for woman"
|"attraction of man"
|"attraction of"
|"girl is trying to attract another boy, the boy is trying to attract another girl"
|"male and female"
|"man and woman"
|"man and women"
|"men and women"
Bhagavad-gita As It Is
BG Chapters 13 - 18
The mode of passion is characterized by the attraction between man and woman. Woman has attraction for man, and man has attraction for woman. This is called the mode of passion. And when the mode of passion is increased, one develops the hankering for material enjoyment. He wants to enjoy sense gratification. For sense gratification, a man in the mode of passion wants some honor in society, or in the nation, and he wants to have a happy family, with nice children, wife and house. These are the products of the mode of passion. As long as one is hankering after these things, he has to work very hard. Therefore it is clearly stated here that he becomes associated with the fruits of his activities and thus becomes bound by such activities. In order to please his wife, children and society and to keep up his prestige, one has to work. Therefore, the whole material world is more or less in the mode of passion. Modern civilization is considered to be advanced in the standard of the mode of passion. Formerly, the advanced condition was considered to be in the mode of goodness. If there is no liberation for those in the mode of goodness, what to speak of those who are entangled in the mode of passion?
Srimad-Bhagavatam
SB Canto 3
It is explained here that spiritual knowledge vanquishes the knot of the heart. Matter and spirit are knotted by false ego. This identification of oneself with matter, which is called hṛdaya-granthi, exists for all conditioned souls, and it becomes more and more tightened when there is too much affection for sex life. The explanation was given by Lord Ṛṣabha to His sons that this material world is an atmosphere of attraction between male and female. That attraction takes the shape of a knot in the heart, and by material affection it becomes still more tight. For people who hanker after material possessions, society, friendship and love, this knot of affection becomes very strong. It is only by brahma-bhāvana—the instruction by which spiritual knowledge is enhanced—that the knot in the heart is cut to pieces. No material weapon is needed to cut this knot, but it requires bona fide spiritual instruction. Kardama Muni instructed his wife, Devahūti, that the Lord would appear as her son and disseminate spiritual knowledge to cut the knot of material identification.
SB Canto 4
It is a woman's nature to want to decorate herself with ornaments and nice dresses and accompany her husband to social functions, meet friends and relatives, and enjoy life in that way. This propensity is not unusual, for woman is the basic principle of material enjoyment. Therefore in Sanskrit the word for woman is strī, which means "one who expands the field of material enjoyment." In the material world there is an attraction between woman and man. This is the arrangement of conditional life. A woman attracts a man, and in that way the scope of material activities, involving house, wealth, children and friendship, increases, and thus instead of decreasing one's material demands, one becomes entangled in material enjoyment.
According to the Vedic system, when a girl is married, she is very profusely and gorgeously decorated with costly saris and jewelry, and during the marriage ceremony the bride circumambulates the bridegroom seven times. After this, the bridegroom and bride look at one another and become attracted for life. When the bridegroom finds the bride very beautiful, the attraction between them immediately becomes very strongly fixed. As stated in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, men and women are naturally attracted to one another, and when they are united by marriage that attraction becomes very strong. Being so strongly attracted, the bridegroom attempts to set up a nice homestead and eventually a good field for producing grains. Then children come, then friends and then wealth. In this way the male becomes more and more entangled in the material conceptions of life, and he begins to think, "This is mine," and "it is I who am acting." In this way the illusion of material existence is perpetuated.
The word striyā, meaning "along with the wife," is significant. The male and female living together constitute the sum and substance of material existence. The attraction between male and female in this material world is very strong. In all species of life the attraction between male and female is the basic principle of existence. The same principle of intermingling is also in human society, but is in a regulative form. Material existence means living together as male and female and being attracted by one another. However, when one fully understands spiritual life, his attraction for the opposite sex is completely vanquished. By such attraction, one becomes overly attached to this material world. It is a hard knot within the heart.
- puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ
- tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ
- ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair
- janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti
- (SB 5.5.8)
Everyone comes to this material world attracted to sense gratification, and the hard knot of sense gratification is the attraction between male and female. By this attraction, one becomes overly attached to the material world in terms of gṛha-kṣetra-suta-āpta-vitta—that is, home, land, children, friends, money and so forth. Thus one becomes entangled in the bodily conception of "I" and "mine." However, if one understands the story of King Purañjana and understands how, by sexual attraction, Purañjana became a female in his next life, one will also understand the process of transmigration.
SPECIAL NOTE: According to Vijayadhvaja Tīrtha, who belongs to the Madhvācārya-sampradāya, the first two of the following verses appear after verse 45 of this chapter, and the remaining two verses appear after verse 79.
SB Canto 5
The attraction between male and female is the basic principle of material existence. On the basis of this misconception, which ties together the hearts of the male and female, one becomes attracted to his body, home, property, children, relatives and wealth. In this way one increases life's illusions and thinks in terms of "I and mine."
Sex serves as the natural attraction between man and woman, and when they are married, their relationship becomes more involved. Due to the entangling relationship between man and woman, there is a sense of illusion whereby one thinks, "This man is my husband," or "This woman is my wife." This is called hṛdaya-granthi, "the hard knot in the heart." This knot is very difficult to undo, even though a man and woman separate either for the principles of varṇāśrama or simply to get a divorce. In any case, the man always thinks of the woman, and the woman always thinks of the man. Thus a person becomes materially attached to family, property and children, although all of these are temporary. The possessor unfortunately identifies with his property and wealth. Sometimes, even after renunciation, one becomes attached to a temple or to the few things that constitute the property of a sannyāsī, but such attachment is not as strong as family attachment. The attachment to the family is the strongest illusion. In the Satya-saṁhitā, it is stated:
- brahmādyā yājñavalkādyā
- mucyante strī-sahāyinaḥ
- bodhyante kecanaiteṣāṁ
- viśeṣam ca vido viduḥ
Sometimes it is found among exalted personalities like Lord Brahmā that the wife and children are not a cause of bondage. On the contrary, the wife actually helps further spiritual life and liberation. Nonetheless, most people are bound by the knots of the marital relationship, and consequently they forget their relationship with Kṛṣṇa.
When the conditioned soul is embraced by his beloved wife, he forgets everything about Kṛṣṇa consciousness. The more he becomes attached to his wife, the more he becomes implicated in family life. One Bengali poet, Bankim Chandra, says that to the eyes of the lover the beloved is always very beautiful, even though ugly. This attraction is called deva-māyā. The attraction between man and woman is the cause of bondage for both. Actually both belong to the parā prakṛti, the superior energy of the Lord, but both are actually prakṛti (female). However, because both want to enjoy one another, they are sometimes described as puruṣa (male). Actually neither is puruṣa, but both can be superficially described as puruṣa. As soon as man and woman are united, they become attached to home, hearth, land, friendship and money. In this way they are both entrapped in material existence. The word bhuja-latā-upagūḍha, meaning "being embraced by beautiful arms which are compared to creepers," describes the way the conditioned soul is bound within this material world. The products of sex life—sons and daughters—certainly follow. This is the way of material existence.
SB Canto 8
The material bondage of this world is that a beautiful woman can captivate a handsome man and that a handsome man can captivate a beautiful woman. Such are the affairs that began when Lord Śiva observed the beautiful girl playing with the ball. In such activities, the influence of Cupid is very prominent. As both parties move their eyebrows and glance at one another, their lusty desires increase more and more. Such reciprocations of lusty desire took place between Lord Śiva and the beautiful woman, even though Umā and Lord Śiva's associates were by Lord Śiva's side. Such is the attraction between man and woman in the material world. Lord Śiva was supposed to be above all this attraction, but he was victimized by the captivating power of Lord Viṣṇu. Ṛṣabhadeva thus explains the nature of lusty attraction:
- puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ
- tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ
- ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair
- janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti
"The attraction between male and female is the basic principle of material existence. On the basis of this misconception, which ties together the hearts of the male and female, one becomes attracted to his body, home, property, children, relatives and wealth. In this way one increases life's illusions and thinks in terms of 'I and mine.' " (SB 5.5.8) When a man and woman exchange feelings of lust, both of them are victimized, and thus they are bound to this material world in various ways.
We are very interested in society, friendship and love, but what are they? Those in the garb of friends and relatives merely plunder the hard-earned money of the bewildered soul. Everyone is affectionate toward his wife and is attached to her, but what is this wife? The wife is called strī, which means, "one who expands the material condition." If a person lives without a wife, his material conditions are less extensive. As soon as one marries and is connected with a wife, his material necessities increase.
- puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ
- tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ
- ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair
- janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti
"The attraction between male and female is the basic principle of material existence. On the basis of this misconception, which ties together the hearts of the male and female, one becomes attracted to his body, home, property, children, relatives and wealth. In this way one increases life's illusions and thinks in terms of 'I and mine.' " (SB 5.5.8) Human life is meant for self-realization, not for increasing unwanted things. Actually, a wife increases unwanted things. One's lifetime, one's home and everything one has, if not properly used in the service of the Lord, are all sources of material conditions of perpetual suffering under the threefold miseries (adhyātmika, adhibhautika and adhidaivika). Unfortunately, there is no institution in human society for education on this subject. People are kept in darkness about the goal of life, and thus there is a continuous struggle for existence. We speak of "survival of the fittest," but no one survives, for no one is free under material conditions.
SB Canto 9
The attraction between man and woman, or male and female, always exists everywhere, making everyone always fearful. Such feelings are present even among the controllers like Brahmā and Lord Śiva and is the cause of fear for them, what to speak of others who are attached to household life in this material world.
As explained above, when the feelings of love and transcendental bliss from the spiritual world are pervertedly reflected in this material world, they are certainly the cause of bondage. As long as men feel attracted to women in this material world and women feel attracted to men, the bondage of repeated birth and death will continue. But in the spiritual world, where there is no fear of birth and death, such feelings of separation are the cause of transcendental bliss. In the absolute reality there are varieties of feeling, but all of them are of the same quality of transcendental bliss.
Other Books by Srila Prabhupada
Krsna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead
Lectures
Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures
Arjuna is a great warrior. He could fight all the soldiers, all the fighting men, yuyutsu. The other party, they were also, they were assembled, yuyutsu, with fighting spirit. Other men, even they are not fighting spirit, we can kill very easily. But own men, although they are fighting spirit, still he hesitates. Because own men. So this "own-menship," in relationship with the body, is the barrier for spiritual understanding. So long this conception of life will exist, that "I am this body, and anyone who is related with this body, they are my own men, kinsmen, relatives..." This conception of life is the greatest barrier for advancing in spiritual consciousness. Therefore the Vedic civilization is so planned that one has to give up this rascal "own men" conception. That is the vairāgya. It is called vairāgya. Jñāna-vairāgya. Two things required in human life: knowledge and vairāgya, detachment. The attachment increases. First of all, it increases. Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etam (SB 5.5.8). This whole world is based on sex life. A man has got attraction for woman; a woman has got attraction for man. This is nature's bondage. Shackle. And when they are actually united, either by the father, mother, or by their own way, that shackle, that attraction, increases. Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ. Hṛdaya-granthim. Knot in the heart. "She is my wife." "He is my husband." Of course, now that knot is very slack. Formerly it was very strong because the woman was not allowed to mix with any other man, and the man was also not allowed with any other woman. This intermingling has slackened even that knot, hṛdaya-granthim. Therefore, even trifle cases, quarrel between husband and wife, there is divorce. Because that unity is not very strong now. That is good. Some way or other, it is slackened. So this "own-menship" comes from bodily concept of life.
So he is preparing the ground for teaching Bhagavad-gītā. We are so much attached to our bodily conception of life, and expansion of bodily conception of life. He is thinking in terms of bodily conception of life. Śyālāḥ bandhuḥ pitaraḥ pitāmahāḥ. Because somebody happens to be... Just like there are many thousands of women. One woman with whom I have got my bodily connection I take: "She is my wife. I have to give protection." This is all based on bodily connection. So long there was no bodily connection with that woman, you didn't care for her. But as soon as there is bodily connection, immediately the attachment is there. Tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ (SB 5.5.8). Generally, everyone has got attraction for woman. Woman has got attraction for man. That is general. But when they are united by marriage, the attraction becomes very acute, hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ. Hṛdaya-granthi means very hard knot. Hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ. So this is called family attraction. Then I get my attraction for my children, for my society, for my home. So Arjuna's description of this means bodily concept of life. The sum and substance of this whole passage described by Arjuna, kiṁ no rājyena govinda kiṁ bhogair jīvitena vā (BG 1.32). Everyone works so hard to acquire money. Why? The family attraction. We were student of economics and there was a book, Marshall's Economics. That Mr. Marshall is explaining that economic impetus begins from family affection, family affection. Unless one has got family, he will not try to earn. He will not try to earn money. He will be irresponsible. Therefore it is essential. When one is given some responsible post... Some... I know some English firm in India, I had some connection with him. So he was simply trying to know, "The man who is going to work for us, whether he is family man?" Because unless he is a family man, he has no attraction. He can give up the job at any moment. Because there is no family attraction. This is the psychology. Therefore according to Vedic civilization, it is the duty of the parents to get the sons and daughters married so that they will have family attraction, they will be established, they will be organized, things will go nicely. If there is no family attraction, no responsibility, then the things will not go nicely. This is the basic principle.
Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures
This whole world is going on on the basis of sense gratification. A man and a woman, or a male or female, they develop this idea of sense gratification. Therefore as soon as a girl is grown up or a boy is grown up, the father, mother get them married, because the sense of sense gratification is very strong. Therefore the system is, Vedic system is, or any..., this human civilization system is, to get them married. So puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etam (SB 5.5.8). So as soon as they are married, so tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ, that sense of sense gratification becomes too much tied up. Tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim. We have got already attraction. A man has got attraction for woman; woman has got attraction for man. Now, as soon as they are united, that attraction becomes more and more strong. Tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ. Then ataḥ gṛha, as soon as they are married and united, they require one apartment, gṛha; ataḥ gṛha, kṣetra, then land for cultivating for producing foodstuff. Ato gṛha-kṣetra-suta, children; āpta, friends. Ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittaiḥ, and money. Janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti (SB 5.5.8).
In this way the living entity becomes entangled and his sense of aham, "It is... I am this body and this property is mine," this sense increases, moha. It is called moha. Moha means actually nothing belongs to him. As soon as death will come, he has to change this body.
Take for example our love, what you call love. Of course, it is perverted reflection of love. Several times I've repeated. In this material world there is nothing like love. It is only, everything perverted reflection of love. Just like you have got affection for children. That is there also, but that is without any inebrieties. Here also the same man and woman, male and female, there is attraction between one another. Similarly there is also, Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa. But there is no inebriety. That is full and that is perfect. Here it is imperfect due to material contamination.
So everything, whatever we have got, Kṛṣṇa has also got that thing. But in Kṛṣṇa it is in perfection; in us, in our conditional state of life, it is imperfect. So if we dovetail ourselves with Kṛṣṇa, then our..., all these propensities become perfect. The same example as I have given repeatedly, that a car is running at seventy-mile speed, a cyclist catches the car, he also runs in seventy-miles speed, although the cycle hasn't got such speed. Similarly, although we are minute particle of God, if we dovetail ourselves with the consciousness of God, or Kṛṣṇa consciousness, then we become equally spirit. This is the technique.
So here it is very clearly described that anyān mohinyā. Mohinī, mohinyā striyā, by the formation. So we should not be attracted. But generally, people are attracted. The whole world, the material world is going on that the woman is attractive for man and the man is attractive for woman. Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etam. This is the general platform of attraction between man and woman. And when they are united by such attraction, then they become more materially knotted. And then they are after...
- puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ
- tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ
- ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair
- janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti
- (SB 5.5.8)
Our material bondage is due to an illusion. What is that illusion? That "I am this body." Dehātma-buddhi. "I am this body, and anything which is required for this body or which I possess for the comfort of this body, that is mine." Both of them are illusion, because I am not this body; I am soul, ahaṁ brahmāsmi. But the illusion is everyone is thinking, "I am this body." "I am Indian," "I am American," "I am white," "I am black," "I am brāhmaṇa," "I am śūdra," "I am this," "I am that." So this is illusion. Therefore the Vedic system is, to save one from this illusion, the first stage of life is brahmacārī, to understand the value of life and strictly without any association with woman. That is called brahmacārī. Strictly.
Sometimes cruel men, they take pleasure by killing. I've seen it. One hotel man was cutting the throat of one chicken, half-cut, and it was throbbing, jumping. His child was crying because he could not see such horrible thing. And the man, the hotel man, he was laughing and pacifying the child, "Why you are crying? Just see how he's throbbing, how he's jumping." So one subject matter, the rasa is different. Humor is different. He's one, (?) enjoying one rasa, the father, and the child is crying. That is also another rasa. So the whole world is full of rasa. Ādi-rasa. The sex life is called ādi-rasa. There is bībhatsa-rasa, hāsya-rasa, karuṇa-rasa, mādhurya-rasa, vātsalya-rasa, sākhya-rasa, śānta-rasa. There are so many rasas-twelve rasas. Anaya(?) vyatireka, ādi-rasa. So janmādy asya yataḥ (SB 1.1.1). Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura has described this ādi from ādi-rasa. Ādi-rasa means the conjugal love. That is called ādi-rasa. So janmādy asya yataḥ (SB 1.1.1). Wherefrom the ādi-rasa comes? The attraction between man and woman, that is a fact. The attraction is there in everywhere, either human society or animal society or bird society, bee society, the attraction is there. Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etam (SB 5.5.8). This whole world is existing on mithunī-bhāva, sex. Yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham (SB 7.9.45). These things are there. So wherefrom it comes, this ādi-rasa? Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura has described in his comment on Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, in the beginning, that Kṛṣṇa is the origin of ādi-rasa, janmādy asya (SB 1.1.1). From there, this ādi-rasa is generated. That is Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa. So everything is there. Otherwise, imperfectness.
So atha viśveśa viśvātman viśva-mūrte sva-keṣu me. Sva-ka. Sva-ka means kinsmen, own. We are thinking, "This is my own, this is my own." Ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair janasya moho 'yam (SB 5.5.8). This is moha, illusion. How this illusion come into existence? The illusion comes... First of all, there is natural affinity, attraction, for man and woman. A man is seeking after woman, woman is seeking after man. That is in human society, in bird society, beast society, everywhere. Even flies, insects, you'll see that one female is attached to the male, male is attached. So this is beginning of material attachment. Then by attachment, when one male finds out another woman, or one finds out another man, they unite. So this attachment becomes fixed up again. Already there is attachment, and as soon as they are united, that attachment becomes more firm. Tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ. I have already got attachment, but when I am again united actually, that attachment increases. Now, after the attachment increases to some degree, then next degree is find out nice apartment to live together. That is another increase of attachment. Then we have got an apartment. Find out some means of earning money. Formerly, they were earning..., there were no factories. Everyone has to earn his livelihood by agriculture, kṣetra. Ato gṛha-kṣetra. First of all, apartment must be maintained by working, by earning something, gṛha-kṣetra. Then when we, everything is settled up, now we must have a son, children. Yes. Ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta. Then we shall, we must have some friends, who will come and eulogize me: "Oh, you have such nice apartment, nice wife." Ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittaiḥ (SB 5.5.8). Then to maintain all this, we must have money. Money, money, money, money, sweeter than honey. In this way, our attachment increases, attachment increases.
Therefore the first education is, the students, to teach them brahmacarya. Brahmacārī means don't be attached. If you can, you avoid all this nonsense. That is brahmacārī. Try to avoid, better. If not, enter.
Everyone is busy to see the body. And the body, expansion of the body, is described here. Body, deha, then from the body there are children, apatya. And then, through the wife, body expands, strī. Strī means "which expands." In this material world the point of attraction is strī and puruṣa, man and woman, male and female. There is an attraction, natural. So the man wants woman, woman wants man, because there is attraction. And when, by that attraction, the man and woman is united, then the result is the children. Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ (SB 5.5.8). Then the attraction for this material world increases. When one is alone, he's not so much attached with the material world. But as soon as he unites with the other party, then he gets children, and the attraction increases.
The real business is that we have to withdraw our attraction for this material... That they do not know. I am a spirit soul. Being attracted by this material nature, I am now encaged within this body, and I am changing this body. Just like I am changing this body from boyhood to childhood, childhood to, from childhood to boyhood, from youthhood. In this way, I have been entangled in this transmigration of the soul. This is my problem. Bhagavān, Kṛṣṇa, says, "Real problem is janma-mṛtyu-jarā-vyādhi (BG 13.9)." This is not problem. Nowadays they have discovered so many problems. But actual problem—janma-mṛtyu-jarā-vyādhi—they are not very much serious. Therefore they have been described here as pramattaḥ, madmen. He does not know what is the real problem, but he is very busy with the superficial problems. Therefore śāstra says that these people, blind, they do not know what is the problem.
So this virūḍhāṁ mamatām. Mamatā means "It is mine." That is called mamatā. Mamatā. Mama means "mine." The consciousness of "mine" and "I," this is called mamatā. "I am this body, and in relationship with this body, everything is mine. My wife, my children, my home, my bank balance, my society, my community, my nation, my country, my." This is called mamatā. So how this mamatā, or the consciousness of "my," grows? There is a machine, manipulated by māyā, illusory energy. The beginning. What is that? Attraction. A man is attracted by woman, and the woman is attracted by man. This is the basic principle. Here, in this material world, there is no attraction for God, but there is attraction. That attraction is, on the whole, sex attraction. That's all. The whole world, not only human society, animal society, bird society, beast society, any society, any living being, the attraction is sex. Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etam (SB 5.5.8). The attraction here, the center of attraction, is sex. So, boys and girls or any, in younger age there is that sex impulse increase and want mating.
A female wants male, a male wants female. This is the attraction. This is the basic principle of binding the conditioned soul in this miserable life of repeated birth and death. This attraction. Therefore Vedic civilization is based on how to get out of this attraction.
It is not so easy to give up attraction for kingdom, wife, children, and motorcar, and paśu, and animals, and so many... He was king, emperor. How much possessions he had! So it is not very easy to give up the attraction for these possessions. Therefore it is called virūḍhām, virūḍhāṁ mamatām. The attraction is so deep-rooted. The example is this, a tree standing. It does not want to give it up, capture. So the attraction begins from this sex attraction. Puṁsaḥ mithunī-bhāvam, puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ (SB 5.5.8). In the beginning there is attraction. A man wants woman, woman wants man. But as soon as they're united, that attraction becomes deep-rooted. First of all desire. At that time, the attraction is not deep-rooted, but as soon as they are united, either legally or illegally, that attraction becomes deep-rooted, virūḍhām. Puṁsaḥ mithunī-bhāvam, puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ tayor mithaḥ, as soon as they unite, hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ, is, they, now that attraction becomes a hard knot into the heart.
So this attraction for man or woman is called kāma. Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura says that this has to be controlled. This has to be controlled. That is the distinction between human life and animal life. Animal life, they are still controlled, but human life, being so-called advanced in civilization, they have no control. You'll be surprised that lion... These examples are given in the śāstras. It is not that the animal-eaters or meat-eaters have got more passion than the vegetable-eaters. No. The example is given there is the śāstra, comparison between lion and the pigeons. The pigeons are vegetarian. They simply eat grains. And the lions, they eat only meat and flesh. So... But still, in spite the lion's eating flesh, he has got only one sex appetite, once in a year. But the vegetarian, the pigeon, although eating grains, oh, at least hundred times daily. You see? So it is not that the vegetarians are less passionate than the animal-eaters or flesh-eaters. Nature's codes are different. It can be controlled. But human consciousness, this control is, I mean to say, practiced from the brahmacārī life. Because the... Unless we control our sex life, there is very little possibility of advancing in spiritual consciousness.
So we should know, puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etam (SB 5.5.8), this material world is nothing but a false attraction between man and woman. Not only in human society—in birds, beast, animal, aquatics, trees, plants, everywhere. You will find these pigeons, as soon as one female pigeon is there, and the male pigeon immediately wants to canvass, "Please come, let us unite." You have seen this is nature's way, sparrow. The same things: puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī. So, therefore in the human society, by Vedic knowledge, by education, you have to understand that we are bound up within this material world. What is the cause? The cause is that attraction between man and woman. This is the cause. Puṁsaḥ. Puṁsaḥ means the bhokta, the enjoyer. Here the male and female, both of them are puṁsaḥ, puruṣaḥ, because everyone has got that feeling that "I shall enjoy." Nobody is feeling that "I shall be enjoyed." Everyone is thinking, "I shall enjoy." Nobody wants to be predominated; everyone wants to be predominator. This is the illusion.
So Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement means to learn how to be predominated, not to become predominator. Just the opposite. And Kṛṣṇa comes personally, and He says that "I am the predominator."
So these regulative principles are there. So what is, what is the big plan behind these regulative principles? The big plan is: here is the attraction, puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam—to cut down this attraction between male and female. This is the big plan. Otherwise there is no need of the varṇāśrama. Varnāśrama means to train the candidates gradually to become free from this entanglement of man and woman. This is the basic principle. Yoga system is also the same thing. Jñānī, that is also same. Karma also. The karma-kāṇḍīya vicāra, that is also, one has to take sannyāsa at the ultimately, cātur-varṇyaṁ mayā sṛṣṭam guṇa-karma-vibhāgaśaḥ (BG 4.13), gradually, if one cannot take it immediately.
So this is the beginning of saṁsāra. So there is attraction between man and woman, and as soon as the attraction becomes little intimate, they unite. Then they have children. Then they require money, apartment, so many things. This man became sinful. He gave up his real wife, married wife, coming from very good family, but he became attracted with that śūdrāṇī, fourth class. Śūdra means fourth class, worker class. Brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya, śūdra. So śūdra women, they are not chaste. Some of them are practically professional prostitute. But that is not in higher caste family—brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya. But at the present moment it is very difficult to distinguish who is brāhmaṇa and who is śūdra. But formerly this is the system of Vedic civilization—ideal character, ideal behavior of the brāhmaṇa; less, little less, kṣatriya; little less, vaiśya; and less than the vaiśya, the śūdra; and less than the śūdras are called caṇḍālas. First class, second class, third class, fourth class, and then fifth class.
This is called durāpūreṇa. It is never fulfilled. This attraction of man and women in family life continues. The other day one devotee came to me, and he was almost crying, that "My wife is suffering, and she may not live. So kindly give me some blessings." Before the death of his wife—because there was nothing serious—the wife has said, "My dear husband, I may not live very long with you," and he is so disturbed that he is thinking that "My wife may die at any moment." So this is the position. This is not very extraordinary thing. This attraction of man and women, this is material bondage. Therefore it is said, durāpūreṇa kāmena: (SB 7.6.8) this lusty desires is never fulfilled even up to the point of death. And what is this nature of this lusty desire? Moha, illusion. It is not fact. It has no substance, but it is there; that's a fact. The example is given just like in dream, somebody is cutting my head and I'm crying. Actually there is no man cutting my head—my head is there—still, I am suffering by such thoughts. This is called moha. Actually there is no fact, but on account of being entangled in three stages of pollution... The pollution is that intelligence. The intelligence is polluted in three ways: jāgriti, svapna, and suṣupti. Jāgriti means just like we are now awakened; we are not sleeping. This is one stage. And another stage, at night when you go to sleep, and you sleep with dream, that is another stage. And another stage is suṣupti, so deeply, just like when a man is intoxicated or chloroform during surgical operation, he does not understand that "Surgical instruments are being applied on my body." He remains silent. This is another stage. So these three stages are there for polluting our intelligence.
Here in this material world, as soon as there is strong man, as soon as there is beautiful woman, then there is sex impulse. In the Vaikuṇṭha world there is no such thing, because they are so much absorbed in Kṛṣṇa consciousness that sex life is very insignificant. There is no sex life in the Vaikuṇṭha realm. But in this material world, the sex life is the basic principle of pleasure.
- puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhavam etat
- tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ
- ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair
- janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti
- (SB 5.5.8)
So when they are united, then the attraction for man or attraction for woman becomes very, very strong. Then it requires gṛha, apartment, home. Then it requires field, land, because land is the means of livelihood. Ato gṛha-kṣetra. Then children, then friends. In this way he becomes implicated. Moho 'yam. These things are not required, but out of illusion he is thinking that "These things will give me protection, life and pleasure." That is explained in the previous verse: sneha-pāśair dṛḍhair baddham. He becomes too much entangled and captivated by this family affection. So therefore in the Vedic civilization, from the very beginning of life the brahmacārī is educated not to be attracted by family life, very strictly. Even though he is educated so, if he is found unable, then he is allowed to marry. That also not for many years. To remain in the household life for twenty-five years, then compulsory, I mean to say, separation, pañcāśordhvaṁ vanaṁ vrajet. Then when the mind is settled up, he is awarded sannyāsa. This is the system.
Festival Lectures
Na śaucaṁ nāpi cācāro na satyaṁ teṣu vidyate. This is a verse from the Sixteenth Chapter of Bhagavad-gītā, where the Lord is describing the symptoms of the demons. Pravṛttiṁ ca nivṛttiṁ ca. Pravṛtti means inclination, inclined. And nivṛtti means disinclined. So there are two things within this material world. Our inclination is to enjoy the senses. This is general. Everyone within this material world, even the animals, birds, beasts, human being or more elevated than human beings, the demigods, kinnaras, or the, many other higher types of living entities... There are different grades of living entities-8,400,000 different bodies. So what is their pravṛtti, inclination? The inclination is attraction of man and woman. This is the central point of attraction. Puṁsāṁ striyaḥ maithuni-bhāvam etad: the whole material world is existing on this point—sex, man and woman. So this is pravṛtti-mārga, and nivṛtti-mārga: just to stop it. This is called nivṛtti-mārga.
Wedding Ceremonies
There are about one hundred verses in the Brahma-saṁhitā, and this verse, I think, about thirty-eighth verse... So description of Govinda, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The picture is here. So Govinda is not impersonal. And it is distinctly stated here that ālola-candraka-lasad-vanamālya-vaṁśī: (Bs. 5.31) "The Lord is decorated with flower garland, and He has got a flute in His hands." And praṇaya-keli-kalā-vilāsam: "And He is engaged in transcendental, conjugal love, Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa." So this love which is in our experience within this material world, man and woman, it is not unnatural. It is in God also there. And the Brahma-sūtra, Vedānta-sūtra, in the beginning says that "Who is Brahman, the Supreme Person or the Absolute Truth?" Athāto brahma jijñāsā, questioning "What is that Absolute Truth?" The answer is janmādy asya yataḥ: (SB 1.1.1) "The Absolute Truth is that from whom everything emanates." Very simple definition. That means the fountainhead of everything, the source of everything. Therefore here in this material world we see that the attraction for man and woman, woman's attraction for man, man's attraction for woman, is so prominent. Not only in human society, but in other than: animal society, cat society, dog society, bird society, there is always the attraction, man and woman, or male and female. Why? The answer is in the Vedānta-sūtra: janmādy asya yataḥ (SB 1.1.1). Because it is there in the Absolute Truth. Without being present in the Absolute Truth, how it can be manifested in the relative truth?
General Lectures
So actually, if we dissect our body, then the beauty things, they are within, some stool, some urine, some intestines, some brains, some muscles, some blood. These will be found. This is called māyā. But that stool, urine, muscle, brains, and intestines are so nicely decorated that it can attract you. It has got a full attraction, both for the boys and the girls. Bhāgavata has done nice that the illusion of this world is that attraction. What is that attraction? False attraction. The man is attracted by woman, woman is attracted by man. And the business is going on. Especially in this country, I see the girls are attracting by their bodily features in so many ways. You see? So similarly boys are attracting girls by so many features, especially by nice motorcar and so many things. So in every society, according to the standard of living, according..., these attractive features are going on. In birds, beasts... And when they are united... Everyone is trying to attract others. A girl is trying to attract another boy, the boy is trying to attract another girl. These attracting features is going on. And as soon as they are actually attracted and joined together, the illusion becomes doubly knotted. Tayor mitha hṛdaya-granthim āhur. Hṛdaya-granthim means everything is within the heart. If I study, "Oh, what is this attraction?" if I understand how it is simply combination of blood, stool and urine and intestine and muscle and skin and hair and nails, then if I study philosophically, so what is there? Have I got any attraction for all these things? No. So it is all false.
Conversations and Morning Walks
1969 Conversations and Morning Walks
Prabhupāda: These four things, namely birth, death, old age, and disease will accompany you. Therefore in the Bhagavad-gītā it is said that mad-dhāma gatvā punar janma na vidyate. "If you reach My abode in the spiritual sky, then you'll have no more birth." So this male-female question is everywhere. The only difference is that in spiritual world there is no need of sex life, or there is no impelling sex life, although there is attraction between man and woman. That is... Just like Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. There is attraction, of Rādhā for Kṛṣṇa and Kṛṣṇa for Rādhā, but there is no sex life. So male-female, conception of male-female, as we have got here, there is concomitant factor of sex life, but that should not be exported to the spiritual world, that idea. There is also male-female, but there is no sex life attraction. That's all right.
1975 Conversations and Morning Walks
Lokanātha: So then what is basic difference between human body, I mean man's body and woman's body, which attracts each other?
Prabhupāda: Because if you want to be attracted, God has made in such a way that both of them are attractive to one another. That's all. You want to be attracted; therefore woman is made attractive. And the woman wants to be attracted; man is attractive. This is nature's arrangement so that you may be bound up by this attraction. Tayor miṭha hṛdaya-granthiḥ mām. You are already bound up, and by this attraction you will be more tightly bound up. Puṁsāṁ striyā mithuni-bhāvam etad. The whole material attraction means a man's attraction for woman and a woman's attraction for man. But when they are seeking, "Where is woman, where is woman, where is woman," and the woman is seeking, they come here to make this business. Huh? And when they are actually attracted or united, then this bondage, material bondage, will become more tight. Therefore the Vedic civilization is how to slacken it, and ultimately, by force, separation, sannyāsa. Because unless they are separated, there cannot be any spiritual advancement. That is the whole process. The unity is bondage. I have written a letter that man is good, woman is good, and when they are united, they are bad! (laughs) Both of them are bad. And the material world is taking, "This is the best thing." But actually that is not the thing. Man is good, because he is part and parcel of God, and woman is good, part and parcel of God, but when they unite, they become bad. Tayor miṭhādi hrdayanti-maho.
Correspondence
1967 Correspondence
1972 Correspondence
In your country the girls are independent, and from very young age they are accustomed to mix with young boys, so naturally there will be attraction, sex desire and marriage. Actually this whole material world is running on this attraction between man and woman. It is described in Srimad-Bhagavatam that once the boy and girl unite intimately the hard knot is formed, and the girl is thinking Oh, without him I am lost, and the boy is thinking Oh, without her I am lost, that is Maya's arrangement for keeping us bound-up tightly in the material atmosphere. If wife is there, then some money must be coming, that means work, land or factory, children, home, friends, community, nation—like that there is increasing complication of illusion of thinking: This is mine, that is mine. But they do not know that one day death will kick them out, mercilessly, and neither home, nor wife, nor children, nothing can prevent that. All along he is thinking these things are like soldiers of security to safeguard his happy life, but they are described as "fallible soldiers" because they will not help us at all. When the moment of death is there, no one may protect us, and if we are not prepared for that moment by practicing Krishna Consciousness or God-consciousness, then we shall be struck with fear and we shall not know where we are going after and what kind of body we may be forced by nature to take.
But this kind of householder life of "grihameda" consciousness does not apply to our marriages in Krishna Consciousness Movement. No. Because the sex-urge is so strong in young persons, and because they are used to mixing freely with one another, I encourage my students to get themselves married. But our point is not that hard knot as above described. It is simply a relationship of mutually helping each other, man and wife, to make advancement in spiritual life, nothing more.
1973 Correspondence
Krishna tells Arjuna, His disciple, that "It is lust only . . . which is the all-devouring, sinful enemy of this world." In the Vedic language, their word for materialistic "love" as we call it at present day; "kama" lust for material desire, not love. The word for love, actually love we find in Vedas is "prema", meaning one's love of God, only. Outside God, there is no possibility of loving. Rather it is lusty desire the whole range of human activities, whatever and whenever, so long with this atmosphere of matter, the every activity of the human being—or any living entity—is based upon or given impetus, and thus polluted, by the attraction between male and female, sex-desire. For that sex-life, the whole universe is spinning round—and suffering! That is the harsh truth. So-called love, here, means "you gratify my senses, I'll gratify your senses," and as soon as that gratification stops: immediately there is divorce, separation, quarrel, hatred. So many things there are, going on under this false conception of love. Actual love means love of God, Krishna.
1976 Correspondence
In the material world competition one thinks my competitor can do so much, how can I bring him down? In the spiritual world there is appreciation: he has done so nicely, I could not do so well. Just like in the material world there is attraction between men and women and this attraction is stronger than anything else. In the spiritual world there is also beautiful men and beautiful women and there is attraction but this attraction is not so strong as the attraction for chanting the Lord's glories.
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| Page Title: | Attraction between man and woman |
| Compiler: | Laksmipriya |
| Created: | 09 of May, 2013 |
| Totals by Section: | BG=1, SB=9, CC=0, OB=1, Lec=19, Con=2, Let=4 |
| No. of Quotes: | 36 |