Sometimes, being in need of money, the conditioned soul steals and cheats, although he may apparently be associated with devotees for spiritual advancement. His only business is getting out of the clutches of māyā, but due to improper guidance he becomes more and more entangled in material dealings. This material world is simply an embarrassment and is composed of tribulations presented as happiness, distress, attachment, enmity and envy. On the whole it is simply full of tribulation and misery. When a person loses his intelligence due to attachment to wife and sex, his entire consciousness becomes polluted. He thus only thinks of the association of women. The time factor, which is like a serpent, takes away everyone's life, including that of Lord Brahmā and the insignificant ant. Sometimes the conditioned soul tries to save himself from inexorable time and thus takes shelter of some bogus savior. Unfortunately, the bogus savior cannot even save himself. How, then, can he protect others? The bogus saviors do not care for bona fide knowledge received from qualified brāhmaṇas and Vedic sources. Their only business is indulging in sex and recommending sexual freedom even for widows. Thus they are like monkeys in the forest. Śrīla Śukadeva Gosvāmī thus explains the material forest and its difficult path to Mahārāja Parīkṣit.
Association with women (Books)
Expressions researched:
"Associating or talking with women"
|"associate freely with women"
|"associate himself with women"
|"associate with a woman"
|"associate with an attractive woman"
|"associate with women"
|"associated with a woman"
|"associated with women"
|"associates with a woman"
|"associates with money and women"
|"associates woman"
|"associating with man or woman"
|"associating with naked woman"
|"associating with so many women"
|"associating with woman"
|"association between man and woman"
|"association between men and women"
|"association of a woman"
|"association of beautiful women"
|"association of man and woman"
|"association of man and woman"
|"association of many women"
|"association of the woman"
|"association of women"
|"association of young women"
|"association with a woman"
|"association with angelic, beautiful women"
|"association with money and woman"
|"association with money and women"
|"association with other women"
|"association with other women"
|"association with woman"
|"association with women"
|"association, unity with woman"
|"woman's association"
|"woman, because by their association"
|"womanly association"
|"women and their association"
|"women or association"
|"women, this association"
|"women, you associate"
|"women. Asatsanga tyagi. Their association"
Bhagavad-gita As It Is
BG Chapters 1 - 6
In the karma-kāṇḍa section of the Vedas it is said, apāma somam amṛtā abhūma and akṣayyaṁ ha vai cāturmāsya-yājinaḥ sukṛtaṁ bhavati. In other words, those who perform the four-month penances become eligible to drink the soma-rasa beverages to become immortal and happy forever. Even on this earth some are very eager to have soma-rasa to become strong and fit to enjoy sense gratifications. Such persons have no faith in liberation from material bondage, and they are very much attached to the pompous ceremonies of Vedic sacrifices. They are generally sensual, and they do not want anything other than the heavenly pleasures of life. It is understood that there are gardens called Nandana-kānana in which there is good opportunity for association with angelic, beautiful women and having a profuse supply of soma-rasa wine. Such bodily happiness is certainly sensual; therefore there are those who are purely attached to such material, temporary happiness, as lords of the material world.
BG Chapters 13 - 18
They were advised to bow down from a distant place. This is not a sign of hatred for women as a class, but it is a stricture imposed on the sannyāsī not to have close connections with women. One has to follow the rules and regulations of a particular status of life in order to purify his existence. For a sannyāsī, intimate relations with women and possession of wealth for sense gratification are strictly forbidden. The ideal sannyāsī was Lord Caitanya Himself, and we can learn from His life that He was very strict in regards to women. Although He is considered to be the most liberal incarnation of Godhead, accepting the most fallen conditioned souls, He strictly followed the rules and regulations of the sannyāsa order of life in connection with association with woman. One of His personal associates, namely Choṭa Haridāsa, was associated with Lord Caitanya along with His other confidential personal associates, but somehow or other this Choṭa Haridāsa looked lustily on a young woman, and Lord Caitanya was so strict that He at once rejected him from the society of His personal associates. Lord Caitanya said, "For a sannyāsī or anyone who is aspiring to get out of the clutches of material nature and trying to elevate himself to the spiritual nature and go back home, back to Godhead, for him, looking toward material possessions and women for sense gratification—not even enjoying them, but just looking toward them with such a propensity—is so condemned that he had better commit suicide before experiencing such illicit desires." So these are the processes for purification.
The yogīs should perform acts for the advancement of human society. There are many purificatory processes for advancing a human being to spiritual life. The marriage ceremony, for example, is considered to be one of these sacrifices. It is called vivāha-yajña. Should a sannyāsī, who is in the renounced order of life and who has given up his family relations, encourage the marriage ceremony? The Lord says here that any sacrifice which is meant for human welfare should never be given up. Vivāha-yajña, the marriage ceremony, is meant to regulate the human mind so that it may become peaceful for spiritual advancement. For most men, this vivāha-yajña should be encouraged even by persons in the renounced order of life. Sannyāsīs should never associate with women, but that does not mean that one who is in the lower stages of life, a young man, should not accept a wife in the marriage ceremony. All prescribed sacrifices are meant for achieving the Supreme Lord. Therefore, in the lower stages, they should not be given up. Similarly, charity is for the purification of the heart. If charity is given to suitable persons, as described previously, it leads one to advanced spiritual life.
Srimad-Bhagavatam
SB Canto 1
The path of salvation or the path going back to Godhead always forbids the association of women, and the complete sanātana-dharma or varṇāśrama-dharma scheme forbids or restricts association with women. How, then, can one be accepted as the Supreme Personality of Godhead who is addicted to more than sixteen thousand wives? This question may be relevantly raised by inquisitive persons really anxious to know about the transcendental nature of the Supreme Lord. And to answer such questions, the sages at Naimiṣāraṇya have discussed the transcendental character of the Lord in this and in following verses. It is clear herein that the feminine attractive features which can conquer Cupid or even the supermost tolerant Lord Śiva could not conquer the senses of the Lord. Cupid's business is to invoke mundane lust. The whole universe is moving being agitated by Cupid's arrow. The activities of the world are being carried on by the central attraction of male and female. A male is searching after a mate to his liking, and the female is looking after a suitable male. That is the way of material stimulus. And as soon as a male is combined with a female, the material bondage of the living being is at once tightly interlocked by sex relation, and as a result of this, both the male's and female's attraction for sweet home, motherland, bodily offspring, society and friendship and accumulation of wealth becomes the illusory field of activities, and thus a false but indefatigable attraction for the temporary material existence, which is full of miseries, is manifest.
Man cannot check all these evils simply by statutory acts and police vigilance, but he can cure the disease of the mind by the proper medicine, namely advocating the principles of brahminical culture or the principles of austerity, cleanliness, mercy and truthfulness. Modern civilization and economic development are creating a new situation of poverty and scarcity with the result of blackmailing the consumer's commodities. If the leaders and the rich men of the society spend fifty percent of their accumulated wealth mercifully for the misled mass of people and educate them in God consciousness, the knowledge of Bhāgavatam, certainly the age of Kali will be defeated in its attempt to entrap the conditioned souls. We must always remember that false pride, or too high an estimation of one's own values of life, undue attachment to women or association with them, and intoxication will divert human civilization from the path of peace, however much the people clamor for peace in the world. The preaching of the Bhāgavatam principles will automatically render all men austere, clean both inside and outside, merciful to the suffering, and truthful in daily behavior. That is the way of correcting the flaws of human society, which are very prominently exhibited at the present moment.
The basic principles of irreligiosity, such as pride, prostitution, intoxication and falsehood, counteract the four principles of religion, namely austerity, cleanliness, mercy and truthfulness. The personality of Kali was given permission to live in four places particularly mentioned by the King, namely the place of gambling, the place of prostitution, the place of drinking and the place of animal slaughter.
Śrīla Jīva Gosvāmī directs that drinking against the principles of scriptures, such as the sautrāmaṇī-yajña, association with women outside marriage, and killing animals against the injunctions of scriptures are irreligious. In the Vedas two different types of injunctions are there for the pravṛttas, or those who are engaged in material enjoyment, and for the nivṛttas, or those who are liberated from material bondage. The Vedic injunction for the pravṛttas is to gradually regulate their activities towards the path of liberation. Therefore, for those who are in the lowest stage of ignorance and who indulge in wine, women and flesh, drinking by performing sautrāmaṇī-yajña, association of women by marriage and flesh-eating by sacrifices are sometimes recommended. Such recommendations in the Vedic literature are meant for a particular class of men, and not for all. But because they are injunctions of the Vedas for particular types of persons, such activities by the pravṛttas are not considered adharma. One man's food may be poison for others; similarly, what is recommended for those in the mode of ignorance may be poison for those in the mode of goodness. Śrīla Jīva Gosvāmī Prabhu, therefore, affirms that recommendations in the scriptures for a certain class of men are never to be considered adharma, or irreligious. But such activities are factually adharma, and they are never to be encouraged. The recommendations in the scriptures are not meant for the encouragement of such adharma, but for regulating the necessary adharma gradually toward the path of dharma.
SB Canto 2
Because human life is a combination of matter and spirit soul, the whole process of Vedic knowledge is directed at liberating the spirit soul from the contamination of matter. The knowledge concerning this is called ātma-tattva. Those men who are too materialistic are unaware of this knowledge and are more inclined to economic development for material enjoyment. Such materialistic men are called karmīs, or fruitive laborers, and they are allowed regulated economic development or association of woman for sex indulgence. Those who are above the karmīs, that is, the jñānīs, yogīs and devotees, are strictly prohibited from sex indulgence. The karmīs are more or less devoid of ātma-tattva knowledge, and as such, their life is spent without spiritual profit. The human life is not meant for hard labor for economic development, nor is it meant for sex indulgence like that of the dogs and hogs. It is specially meant for making a solution to the problems of material life and the miseries thereof. So the karmīs waste their valuable human life by sleeping and sex indulgence at night, and by laboring hard in the daytime to accumulate wealth, and after doing so, they try to improve the standard of materialistic life. The materialistic way of life is described herein in a nutshell, and how foolishly men waste the boon of human life is described as follows.
The Lord, being the source of everything that be, is the origin of all austerities and penances also. Great vows of austerity are undertaken by sages to achieve success in self-realization. Human life is meant for such tapasya, with the great vow of celibacy, or brahmacarya. In the rigid life of tapasya, there is no place for the association of women. And because human life is meant for tapasya, for self-realization, factual human civilization, as conceived by the system of sanātana-dharma or the school of four castes and four orders of life, prescribes rigid dissociation from woman in three stages of life. In the order of gradual cultural development, one's life may be divided into four divisions: celibacy, household life, retirement, and renunciation. During the first stage of life, up to twenty-five years of age, a man may be trained as a brahmacārī under the guidance of a bona fide spiritual master just to understand that woman is the real binding force in material existence. If one wants to get freedom from the material bondage of conditional life, he must get free from the attraction for the form of woman. Woman, or the fair sex, is the enchanting principle for the living entities, and the male form, especially in the human being, is meant for self-realization. The whole world is moving under the spell of womanly attraction, and as soon as a man becomes united with a woman, he at once becomes a victim of material bondage under a tight knot.
They accept the order of sannyāsa, or the renounced order of life, knowing well that combination with women is an unnecessary burden that checks self-realization. Since sex desire is very strong at a certain stage of life, the guru may allow the brahmacārī to marry; this license is given to a brahmacārī who is unable to continue the way of naiṣṭhika-brahmacarya, and such discriminations are possible for the bona fide guru. A program of so-called family planning is needed. The householder who associates with woman under scriptural restrictions, after a thorough training of brahmacarya, cannot be a householder like cats and dogs. Such a householder, after fifty years of age, would retire from the association of woman as a vānaprastha to be trained to live alone without the association of woman. When the practice is complete, the same retired householder becomes a sannyāsī, strictly separate from woman, even from his married wife. Studying the whole scheme of disassociation from women, it appears that a woman is a stumbling block for self-realization, and the Lord appeared as Nārāyaṇa to teach the principle of womanly disassociation with a vow in life. The demigods, being envious of the austere life of the rigid brahmacārīs, would try to cause them to break their vows by dispatching soldiers of Cupid. But in the case of the Lord, it became an unsuccessful attempt when the celestial beauties saw that the Lord can produce innumerable such beauties by His mystic internal potency and that there was consequently no need to be attracted by others externally. There is a common proverb that a confectioner is never attracted by sweetmeats. The confectioner, who is always manufacturing sweetmeats, has very little desire to eat them; similarly, the Lord, by His pleasure potential powers, can produce innumerable spiritual beauties and not be the least attracted by the false beauties of material creation. One who does not know alleges foolishly that Lord Kṛṣṇa enjoyed women in His rāsa-līlā in Vṛndāvana, or with His sixteen thousand married wives at Dvārakā.
SB Canto 3
Nor is it possible to acquire complete knowledge of the Lord. Whatever little knowledge they have about the Lord is sufficient for them because devotees are simply satisfied in hearing and chanting about the transcendental pastimes of the Lord. This gives them all transcendental bliss. But some of the pastimes of the Lord appear contradictory, even to such pure devotees, and thus Uddhava asked the Lord about some of the contradictory incidents in His pastimes. The Lord is described as having nothing to do personally, and it is actually so because even in the creation and sustenance of the material world, the Lord has nothing to do. It seems contradictory, then, to hear that the Lord personally lifts the Govardhana Hill for the protection of His unalloyed devotees. The Lord is the Supreme Brahman, the Absolute Truth, the Personality of Godhead appearing like a man, but Uddhava had doubts whether He could have so many transcendental activities.
There is no difference between the Personality of Godhead and the impersonal Brahman. How then can the Lord have so many things to do, whereas the impersonal Brahman is stated to have nothing to do either materially or spiritually? If the Lord is ever unborn, how then is He born as the son of Vasudeva and Devakī? He is fearful even to kāla, the supreme fear, and yet the Lord is afraid of fighting Jarāsandha and takes shelter in a fort. How can one who is full in Himself take pleasure in the association of many women? How can He take wives and, just like a householder, take pleasure in the association of family members, children, relatives and parents? All these apparently contradictory happenings bewilder even the greatest learned scholars, who, thus bewildered, cannot understand whether inactivity is a fact or whether His activities are only imitations.
This extraordinary immortality on the part of Brahmā was heard to have occurred in some particular kalpa, but it could not have happened in the kalpa in which Brahmā heard directly from the Lord the four essential verses of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam because the Lord blessed Brahmā, after giving him lessons on the Bhāgavatam, that he would never be bewildered in any kalpa whatsoever. This indicates that before the hearing of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam he might have fallen a victim to such sensuality, but after hearing Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam directly from the Lord, there was no possibility of such failures.
One should, however, take serious note of this incident. The human being is a social animal, and his unrestricted mixing with the fair sex leads to downfall. Such social freedom of man and woman, especially among the younger section, is certainly a great stumbling block on the path of spiritual progress. Material bondage is due only to sexual bondage, and therefore unrestricted association of man and woman is surely a great impediment. Maitreya cited this example on the part of Brahmā just to bring to our notice this great danger.
Lord Śiva is the husband of Satī, one of the sisters of Diti. Diti invoked the pleasure of her sister Satī so that Satī would request her husband to excuse her. Besides that, Lord Śiva is the worshipable lord of all women. He is naturally very kind towards women, on whom even the uncivilized hunters also show their mercy. Since Lord Śiva is himself associated with women, he knows very well their defective nature, and he might not take very seriously Diti's unavoidable offense, which occurred due to her faulty nature. Every virgin girl is supposed to be a devotee of Lord Śiva. Diti remembered her childhood worship of Lord Śiva and begged his mercy.
The restriction of association with such foolish persons is especially meant for those who are in the line of advancement in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Advancement in Kṛṣṇa consciousness involves developing the qualities of truthfulness, cleanliness, mercy, gravity, intelligence in spiritual knowledge, simplicity, material opulence, fame, forgiveness, and control of the mind and the senses. All these qualities are to be manifested with the progress of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, but if one associates with a śūdra, a foolish person who is like a dancing dog in the hands of a woman, then he cannot make any progress. Lord Caitanya has advised that any person who is engaged in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and who desires to pass beyond material nescience must not associate himself with women or with persons interested in material enjoyment. For a person seeking advancement in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, such association is more dangerous than suicide.
Attachment to women is so contaminating that one becomes attached to the condition of material life not only by the association of women but by the contaminated association of persons who are too attached to them. There are many reasons for our conditional life in the material world, but the topmost of all such causes is the association of women, as will be confirmed in the following stanzas.
In Kali-yuga, association with women is very strong. In every step of life, there is association with women. If a person goes to purchase something, the advertisements are full of pictures of women. The physiological attraction for women is very great, and therefore people are very slack in spiritual understanding. The Vedic civilization, being based on spiritual understanding, arranges association with women very cautiously. Out of the four social divisions, the members of the first order (namely brahmacarya), the third order (vānaprastha) and the fourth order (sannyāsa) are strictly prohibited from female association. Only in one order, the householder, is there license to mix with women under restricted conditions. In other words, attraction for woman's association is the cause of the material conditional life, and anyone interested in being freed from this conditional life must detach himself from the association of women.
One who aspires to reach the culmination of yoga and has realized his self by rendering service unto Me should never associate with an attractive woman, for such a woman is declared in the scripture to be the gateway to hell for the advancing devotee.
The culmination of yoga is full Kṛṣṇa consciousness. This is affirmed in Bhagavad-gītā: a person who is always thinking of Kṛṣṇa in devotion is the topmost of all yogīs. And in the Second Chapter of the First Canto of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, it is also stated that when one becomes freed from material contamination by rendering devotional service unto the Supreme Personality of Godhead, he can at that time understand the science of God.
Here the word pratilabdhātma-lābhaḥ occurs. Ātmā means "self," and lābha means "gain." Generally, conditioned souls have lost their ātmā, or self, but those who are transcendentalists have realized the self. It is directed that such a self-realized soul who aspires to the topmost platform of yogic perfection should not associate with young women. In the modern age, however, there are so many rascals who recommend that while one has genitals he should enjoy women as much as he likes, and at the same time he can become a yogī. In no standard yoga system is the association of women accepted. It is clearly stated here that the association of women is the gateway to hellish life. The association of woman is very much restricted in the Vedic civilization. Out of the four social divisions, the brahmacārī, vānaprastha and the sannyāsī—three orders—are strictly prohibited from the association of women; only the gṛhasthas, or householders, are given license to have an intimate relationship with a woman, and that relationship is also restricted for begetting nice children. If, however, one wants to stick to continued existence in the material world, he may indulge in female association unrestrictedly.
Sometimes it happens that a rejected well is covered by grass, and an unwary traveler who does not know of the existence of the well falls down, and his death is assured. Similarly, association with a woman begins when one accepts service from her, because woman is especially created by the Lord to give service to man. By accepting her service, a man is entrapped. If he is not intelligent enough to know that she is the gateway to hellish life, he may indulge in her association very liberally. This is restricted for those who aspire to ascend to the transcendental platform. Even fifty years ago in Hindu society, such association was restricted. A wife could not see her husband during the daytime. Householders even had different residential quarters. The internal quarters of a residential house were for the woman, and the external quarters were for the man. Acceptance of service rendered by a woman may appear very pleasing, but one should be very cautious in accepting such service because it is clearly said that woman is the gateway to death, or forgetfulness of one's self. She blocks the path of spiritual realization.
In the body of a man there is a greater opportunity to get out of the material clutches; there is less opportunity in the body of a woman. In this verse it is indicated that the body of a man should not be misused through forming an attachment to women and thus becoming too entangled in material enjoyment, which will result in getting the body of a woman in the next life. A woman is generally fond of household prosperity, ornaments, furniture and dresses. She is satisfied when the husband supplies all these things sufficiently. The relationship between man and woman is very complicated, but the substance is that one who aspires to ascend to the transcendental stage of spiritual realization should be very careful in accepting the association of a woman. In the stage of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, however, such restriction of association may be slackened because if a man's and woman's attachment is not to each other but to Kṛṣṇa, then both of them are equally eligible to get out of the material entanglement and reach the abode of Kṛṣṇa. As it is confirmed in Bhagavad-gītā, anyone who seriously takes to Kṛṣṇa consciousness—whether in the lowest species of life or a woman or of the less intelligent classes, such as the mercantile or laborer class—will go back home, back to Godhead, and reach the abode of Kṛṣṇa. A man should not be attached to a woman, nor should a woman be attached to a man. Both man and woman should be attached to the service of the Lord. Then there is the possibility of liberation from material entanglement for both of them.
SB Canto 4
Therefore naturally these appear to me as real." Only less intelligent persons accept this perverted reflection of the spiritual world to be real. Those who are under the spell of the external energy accept this manifestation to be fact, whereas those who are advanced in spiritual realization know that it is illusion. Actual reality is elsewhere, in the spiritual world. "But as far as I am concerned," Sati said, "I do not have much knowledge about self-realization. I am poor because I do not know the actual facts. I am attracted by my birthplace, and I want to see it." One who has attraction for his birthplace, for his body, and for other such items mentioned in the Bhāgavatam is considered to be like an ass or a cow. Satī might have heard all this many times from her husband, Lord Śiva, but because she was a woman, yoṣit, she still hankered after the same material objects of affection. The word yoṣit means "one who is enjoyed." Therefore woman is called yoṣit. In spiritual advancement, association with yoṣit is always restricted because if one is like a play doll in the hands of yoṣit, then all his spiritual advancement is at once stopped. It is said, "Those who are just like playthings in the hands of a woman (yoṣit-krīḍā-mṛgeṣu) cannot make any advancement in spiritual realization."
Mahārāja Pṛthu did not ask the Kumāras about their good fortune, for the Kumāras are always auspicious by dint of their life in celibacy. Since they are always engaged on the path of liberation, there was no question of ill fortune. In other words, brāhmaṇas and Vaiṣṇavas who are strictly following the path of spiritual advancement are always fortunate. The question was asked by Pṛthu Mahārāja for his own sake, since he was in the position of a gṛhastha and in charge of the royal authority. Kings are not only gṛhasthas, who are generally absorbed in sense gratification, but are sometimes employed to kill animals in hunting because they have to practice the killing art, otherwise it is very difficult for them to fight their enemies. Such things are not auspicious. Four kinds of sinful activities—associating with woman for illicit sex, eating meat, intoxication and gambling—are allowed for the kṣatriyas. For political reasons, sometimes they have to take to these sinful activities. Kṣatriyas do not refrain from gambling. One vivid example is the Pāṇḍavas. When the Pāṇḍavas were challenged by the opposite party, Duryodhana, to gamble and risk their kingdom, they could not refrain, and by that gambling they lost their kingdom, and their wife was insulted. Similarly, the kṣatriyas cannot refrain from fighting if challenged by the opposite party. Therefore Pṛthu Mahārāja, taking consideration of all these facts, inquired whether there is any auspicious path. Gṛhastha life is inauspicious because gṛhastha means consciousness for sense gratification, and as soon as there is sense gratification, one's position is always full of dangers. This material world is said to be padaṁ padaṁ yad vipadāṁ na teṣām, dangerous in every step (SB 10.14.58). Everyone in this material world is struggling hard for sense gratification.
The word gṛheṣu is significant in this verse. Out of the four āśramas—the brahmacarya, gṛhastha, vānaprastha and sannyāsa—only a gṛhastha, or householder, is allowed to associate with women; therefore the gṛhastha-āśrama is a kind of license for sense gratification given to the devotee. Pṛthu Mahārāja was special in that although he was given license to remain a householder, and although he possessed immense opulences in his kingdom, he never engaged in sense gratification. This was a special sign that indicated him to be a pure devotee of the Lord. A pure devotee is never attracted by sense gratification, and consequently he is liberated. In material life a person engages in sense gratification for his own personal satisfaction, but in the devotional or liberated life one aims to satisfy the senses of the Lord.
In this verse Mahārāja Pṛthu is likened to the sun (arka-vat). Sometimes the sun shines on stool, urine and so many other polluted things, but since the sun is all-powerful, it is never affected by the polluted things with which it associates. On the contrary, the sunshine sterilizes and purifies polluted and dirty places. Similarly, a devotee may engage in so many material activities, but because he has no desire for sense gratification, they never affect him. On the contrary, he dovetails all material activities for the service of the Lord. Since a pure devotee knows how to utilize everything for the Lord's service, he is never affected by material activities. Instead, by his transcendental plans he purifies such activities. This is described in Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu. Sarvopādhi-vinirmuktaṁ tat-paratvena nirmalam: (CC Madhya 19.170) his aim is to become completely purified in the service of the Lord without being affected by material designations.
Since the body is a great city, there must be various arrangements such as lakes and gardens for sense enjoyment. Of the various parts of the body, those which incite sexual impulses are referred to here indirectly. Because the body has genitals, when the living entity attains the right age—be he man or woman—he becomes agitated by the sex impulse. As long as one remains a child, he is not agitated by seeing a beautiful woman. Although the sense organs are present, unless the age is ripe there is no sex impulse. The favorable conditions surrounding the sex impulse are compared here to a garden or a nice solitary park. When one sees the opposite sex, naturally the sex impulse increases. It is said that if a man in a solitary place does not become agitated upon seeing a woman, he is to be considered a brahmacārī. But this practice is almost impossible. The sex impulse is so strong that even by seeing, touching or talking, coming into contact with, or even thinking of the opposite sex—even in so many subtle ways—one becomes sexually impelled. Consequently, a brahmacārī or sannyāsī is prohibited to associate with women, especially in a secret place. The śāstras enjoin that one should not even talk to a woman in a secret place, even if she happens to be one's own daughter, sister or mother. The sex impulse is so strong that even if one is very learned, he becomes agitated in such circumstances. If this is the case, how can a young man in a nice park remain calm and quiet after seeing a beautiful young woman?
The word vipralabdhaḥ is very significant in this verse. Vi means "specifically," and pralabdha means "obtained." Just to satisfy his desires, the King got the Queen, and thus he became cheated by material existence. Although he was not willing to do so, he remained a pet animal under the control of material intelligence. Just as a pet monkey dances according to the desires of its master, the King danced according to the desires of the Queen. In Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (5.5.2) it is said, mahat-sevāṁ dvāram āhur vimukteḥ: if one associates with a saintly person, a devotee, one's path of liberation becomes clear. But if one associates with a woman or with a person who is too much addicted to a woman, his path of bondage becomes completely clear.
On the whole, for spiritual advancement, one must give up the company of women. This is what is meant by the order of sannyāsa, the renounced order. Before taking sannyāsa, or completely renouncing the material world, one has to practice avoiding illicit sex. Sex life, licit or illicit, is practically the same, but through illicit sex one becomes more and more captivated. By regulating one's sex life there is a chance that one may eventually be able to renounce sex or renounce the association of women. If this can be done, advancement in spiritual life comes very easily.
At the fag end of life, when the invalidity of old age attacks a man, his body becomes useless for all purposes. Therefore Vedic training dictates that when a man is in his boyhood he should be trained in the process of brahmacarya; that is, he should be completely engaged in the service of the Lord and should not in any way associate with women. When the boy becomes a young man, he marries between the ages of twenty and twenty-five. When he is married at the right age, he can immediately beget strong, healthy sons. Now female descendants are increasing because young men are very weak sexually. A male child will be born if the husband is sexually stronger than the wife, but if the female is stronger, a female child will be born. Thus it is essential to practice the system of brahmacarya if one wishes to beget a male child when one is married. When one reaches the age of fifty, he should give up family life. At that time one's child should be grown up so that the father can leave the family responsibilities to him. The husband and wife may then go abroad to live a retired life and travel to different places of pilgrimage. When both the husband and wife lose their attachment for family and home, the wife returns home to live under the care of her grown-up children and to remain aloof from family affairs. The husband then takes sannyāsa to render some service to the Supreme Personality of Godhead.
e to his contaminated association with women, a living entity like King Purañjana eternally suffers all the pangs of material existence and remains in the dark region of material life, bereft of all remembrance for many, many years.
Material existence is always full of anxiety. People are always trying to find many ways to mitigate anxiety, but because they are not guided by a real leader, they try to forget material anxiety through drink and sex indulgence. Foolish people do not know that by attempting to escape anxiety by drink and sex, they simply increase their duration of material life. It is not possible to escape material anxiety in this way.
The word pramadā-saṅga-dūṣitaḥ indicates that apart from all other contamination, if one simply remains attached to a woman, that single contamination will be sufficient to prolong one's miserable material existence. Consequently, in Vedic civilization one is trained from the beginning to give up attachment for women. The first stage of life is brahmacārī, the second stage gṛhastha, the third stage vānaprastha, and the fourth stage sannyāsa. All these stages are devised to enable one to detach himself from the association of women.
SB Canto 5
One can attain the path of liberation from material bondage only by rendering service to highly advanced spiritual personalities. These personalities are impersonalists and devotees. Whether one wants to merge into the Lord's existence or wants to associate with the Personality of Godhead, one should render service to the mahātmās. For those who are not interested in such activities, who associate with people fond of women and sex, the path to hell is wide open. The mahātmās are equipoised. They do not see any difference between one living entity and another. They are very peaceful and are fully engaged in devotional service. They are devoid of anger, and they work for the benefit of everyone. They do not behave in any abominable way. Such people are known as mahātmās.
The perfect brahminical qualification is stated herein: akiñcanānāṁ mayi bhakti-bhājām. The brāhmaṇas are always engaged in the devotional service of the Lord: consequently they have no material wants, nor do they possess material things. In Caitanya-caritāmṛta (CC Madhya 11.8), Caitanya Mahāprabhu explains the position of pure Vaiṣṇavas who are anxious to return home, back to Godhead. Niṣkiñcanasya bhagavad-bhajanonmukhasya. Those who actually want to return back to Godhead are niṣkiñcana—that is, they have no desire for material comfort. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu advises, sandarśanaṁ viṣayinām atha yoṣitāṁ ca hā hanta hanta visa-bhakṣaṇato 'py asādhu: material opulence and sense gratification through the association of women are more dangerous than poison. Brāhmaṇas who are pure Vaiṣṇavas always engage in the Lord's service and are devoid of any desire for material gain. The brāhmaṇas do not worship demigods like Lord Brahmā, Indra or Lord Śiva for any material comfort. They do not even ask the Supreme Lord for material profit; therefore it is concluded that the brāhmaṇas are the supreme living entities of this world. Śrī Kapiladeva also confirms this in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (3.29.33):
To get out of this false struggle for existence and become happy in the material world, one has to control the mind and senses and be detached from material conditions. One should never neglect austerities and penances; one should always perform them. Lord Ṛṣabhadeva personally showed us how to do this. In the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (9.19.17) it is specifically stated:
- mātrā svasrā duhitrā vā
- nāviviktāsano bhavet
- balavān indriya-grāmo
- vidvāṁsam api karṣati
A gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsī and brahmacārī should be very careful when associating with women. One is forbidden to sit down in a solitary place even with one's mother, sister or daughter. In our Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement it has been very difficult to disassociate ourselves from women in our society, especially in Western countries. We are therefore sometimes criticized, but nonetheless we are trying to give everyone a chance to chant the Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra and thus advance spiritually. If we stick to the principle of chanting the Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra offenselessly, then, by the grace of Śrīla Haridāsa Ṭhākura, we may be saved from the allurement of women. However, if we are not very strict in chanting the Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra, we may at any time fall victim to women.
Being cheated by them, the living entity in the forest of the material world tries to give up the association of these so-called yogīs, svāmīs and incarnations and come to the association of real devotees, but due to misfortune he cannot follow the instructions of the spiritual master or advanced devotees; therefore he gives up their company and again returns to the association of monkeys who are simply interested in sense gratification and women. He derives satisfaction by associating with sense gratifiers and enjoying sex and intoxication. In this way he spoils his life simply by indulging in sex and intoxication. Looking into the faces of other sense gratifiers, he becomes forgetful and thus approaches death.
SB Canto 6
In the city known as Kānyakubja there was a brāhmaṇa named Ajāmila who married a prostitute maidservant and lost all his brahminical qualities because of the association of that low-class woman.
"A man should not associate with a woman in a solitary place, not even with his mother, sister or daughter, for the senses are so strong that they lead astray even a person advanced in knowledge." When a man remains in a solitary place with a woman, his sexual desires undoubtedly increase. Therefore the words ekānta-bhūtāni, which are used here, indicate that to avoid sexual desires one should avoid the company of women as far as possible. Sexual desire is so powerful that one is saturated with it if he stays in a solitary place with any woman, even his mother, sister or daughter.
SB Canto 7
"I am a worse sinner than Jagāi and Mādhāi and am even lower than the worms in the stool." A pure devotee always thinks himself more deficient than everyone else. If a devotee approaches Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī to offer some service to Kṛṣṇa, even Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī thinks that the devotee is greater than She. Thus Nārada Muni says that according to his opinion the enemies of Kṛṣṇa are better situated because they are fully absorbed in thoughts of Kṛṣṇa in terms of killing Him, just as a very lusty man always thinks of women and their association.
The essential point in this connection is that one should be fully absorbed in thoughts of Kṛṣṇa, twenty-four hours a day. There are many devotees in rāga-mārga, which is exhibited in Vṛndāvana. Whether in dāsya-rasa, sakhya-rasa, vātsalya-rasa or mādhurya-rasa, all the devotees of Kṛṣṇa are always overwhelmed by thoughts of Kṛṣṇa. When Kṛṣṇa is away from Vṛndāvana tending the cows in the forest, the gopīs, in the mādhurya-rasa, are always absorbed in thoughts of how Kṛṣṇa walks in the forest. The soles of His feet are so soft that the gopīs would not dare keep His lotus feet on their soft breasts. Indeed, they consider their breasts a very hard place for the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa, yet those lotus feet wander in the forest, which is full of thorny plants. The gopīs are absorbed in such thoughts at home, although Kṛṣṇa is away from them. Similarly, when Kṛṣṇa plays with His young friends, mother Yaśodā is very much disturbed by thoughts that Kṛṣṇa, because of always playing and not taking His food properly, must be getting weak. These are examples of the exalted ecstasy felt in Kṛṣṇa's service as manifested in Vṛndāvana. This service is indirectly praised by Nārada Muni in this verse. Especially for the conditioned soul, Nārada Muni recommends that one somehow or other be absorbed in thoughts of Kṛṣṇa, for that will save one from all the dangers of material existence. Full absorption in thought of Kṛṣṇa is the highest platform of bhakti-yoga.
Does this mean that Nārada Muni transgressed the Vedic injunctions? Certainly he did not. Such injunctions are intended for mundane creatures, but Nārada Muni is transcendental to mundane categories. Nārada Muni is a great saint and is transcendentally situated. Therefore, although he was a young man, he could give shelter to a young woman and accept her service. Haridāsa Ṭhākura also spoke with a young woman, a prostitute, in the dead of night, but the woman could not deviate his mind. Instead, she became a Vaiṣṇavī, a pure devotee, by the benediction of Haridāsa Ṭhākura. Ordinary persons, however, should not imitate such highly elevated devotees. Ordinary persons must strictly observe the rules and regulations by staying aloof from the association of women. No one should imitate Nārada Muni or Haridāsa Ṭhākura. It is said, vaiṣṇavera kriyā-mudrā vijñe nā bujhaya. Even if a man is very advanced in learning, he cannot understand the behavior of a Vaiṣṇava. Anyone can take shelter of a pure Vaiṣṇava, without fear. Therefore in the previous verse it has been distinctly said, devarṣer antike sākuto-bhayā: Kayādhu, the mother of Prahlāda Mahārāja, stayed under the protection of Nārada Muni without fear from any direction. Similarly, Nārada Muni, in his transcendental position, stayed with the young woman without fear of deviation. Nārada Muni, Haridāsa Ṭhākura and similar ācāryas especially empowered to broadcast the glories of the Lord cannot be brought down to the material platform. Therefore one is strictly forbidden to think that the ācārya is an ordinary human being (guruṣu nara-matiḥ).
According to the brahmacarya system, he should dress with a belt, deerskin, and matted hair and should bear a daṇḍa, waterpot and sacred thread. He should collect alms daily in the morning, and in the evening whatever alms he has collected he should offer to the spiritual master. A brahmacārī should accept prasāda upon the order of the spiritual master, and if the spiritual master sometimes forgets to order the disciple to eat, the disciple should not take prasāda on his own initiative; rather, he should fast. The brahmacārī should be trained to be satisfied with eating what is absolutely necessary, he should be very expert in executing responsibilities, he should be faithful, and he should control his senses and try to avoid the association of women as far as possible. A brahmacārī should very strictly abstain from living with women and should not meet with gṛhasthas and those too addicted to women. Nor should a brahmacārī speak in a lonely place with a woman.
A brahmacārī should be quite well behaved and gentle and should not eat or collect more than necessary. He must always be active and expert, fully believing in the instructions of the spiritual master and the śāstra. Fully controlling his senses, he should associate only as much as necessary with women or those controlled by women.
A brahmacārī should be very careful not to mix with women or with men addicted to women. Although when he goes out to beg alms it is necessary to talk with women and with men very much attached to women, this association should be very short, and he should talk with them only about begging alms, and not more. A brahmacārī should be very careful in associating with men who are attached to women.
Brahmacarya essentially means the vow not to marry but to observe strict celibacy (bṛhad-vrata). A brahmacārī or sannyāsī should avoid talking with women or reading literature concerning talks between man and woman. The injunction restricting association with women is the basic principle of spiritual life. Associating or talking with women is never advised in any of the Vedic literatures. The entire Vedic system teaches one to avoid sex life so that one may gradually progress from brahmacarya to gṛhastha, from gṛhastha to vānaprastha, and from vānaprastha to sannyāsa and thus give up material enjoyment, which is the original cause of bondage to this material world. The word bṛhad-vrata refers to one who has decided not to marry, or in other words, not to indulge in sex life throughout his entire life.
These mothers are the original mother, the wife of the teacher or spiritual master, the wife of a brāhmaṇa, the king's wife, the cow, the nurse and the earth. Unnecessary association with women, even with one's mother, sister or daughter, is strictly prohibited. This is human civilization. A civilization that allows men to mix unrestrictedly with women is an animal civilization. In Kali-yuga, people are extremely liberal, but mixing with women and talking with them as equals actually constitutes an uncivilized way of life.
Woman is compared to fire, and man is compared to a butter pot. Therefore a man should avoid associating even with his own daughter in a secluded place. Similarly, he should also avoid association with other women. One should associate with women only for important business and not otherwise.
If a butter pot and fire are kept together, the butter within the pot will certainly melt. Woman is compared to fire, and man is compared to a butter pot. However advanced one may be in restraining the senses, it is almost impossible for a man to keep himself controlled in the presence of a woman, even if she is his own daughter, mother or sister. Indeed, his mind is agitated even if one is in the renounced order of life. Therefore, Vedic civilization carefully restricts mingling between men and women. If one cannot understand the basic principle of restraining association between man and woman, he is to be considered an animal. That is the purport of this verse.
Materialistic activities are regulated by the institution of varṇāśrama-dharma. Without varṇāśrama-dharma, materialistic activities constitute animal life. Yet even in human life, while observing the principles of varṇa and āśrama-brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya, śūdra, brahmacarya, gṛhastha, vānaprastha and sannyāsa—one must ultimately accept sannyāsa, the renounced order, for only by the renounced order can one be situated in brahma-sukha, or transcendental bliss. In brahma-sukha one is no longer attracted by lusty desires. Indeed, when one is no longer disturbed, especially by lusty desires for sexual indulgence, he is fit to become a sannyāsī. Otherwise, one should not accept the sannyāsa order. If one accepts sannyāsa at an immature stage, there is every possibility of his being attracted by women and lusty desires and thus again becoming a so-called gṛhastha or a victim of women. Such a person is most shameless, and he is called vāntāśī, or one who eats that which he has already vomited. He certainly leads a condemned life. In our Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement it is advised, therefore, that the sannyāsīs and brahmacārīs keep strictly aloof from the association of women so that there will be no chance of their falling down again as victims of lusty desires.
The human body, therefore, may be used in two ways—for going to the darkest regions of ignorance or for going forward, back home, back to Godhead. To go back to Godhead, the path is mahat-sevā, to accept the self-realized spiritual master. Mahat-sevāṁ dvāram āhur vimukteḥ (SB 5.5.2). For liberation, one should accept the direction of authorized devotees who can actually endow one with perfect knowledge. On the other hand, tamo-dvāraṁ yoṣitāṁ saṅgi-saṅgam: if one wants to go to the darkest regions of material existence, one may continue to associate with persons who are attached to women (yoṣitāṁ saṅgi-saṅgam). The word yoṣit means "woman." Persons who are too materialistic are attached to women.
It is said, therefore, ātmānaṁ rathinaṁ viddhi śarīraṁ ratham eva ca. The body is just like a chariot or car in which one may go anywhere. One may drive well, or else one may drive whimsically, in which case it is quite possible that he may have an accident and fall into a ditch. In other words, if one takes directions from the experienced spiritual master one can go back home, back to Godhead; otherwise, one may return to the cycle of birth and death. Therefore Kṛṣṇa personally advises:
As far as kīrtana is concerned, the śāstras say, śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ viṣṇoḥ: (SB 7.5.23) one should chant the glories of the Supreme Lord and the holy name of the Supreme Lord. This is clearly stated. Śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ viṣṇoḥ: one should chant about and glorify Lord Viṣṇu, not any demigod. Unfortunately, there are foolish persons who invent some process of kīrtana on the basis of a demigod's name. This is an offense. Kīrtana means glorifying the Supreme Lord, not any demigod. Sometimes people invent kālī-kīrtana or śiva-kīrtana, and even big sannyāsīs in the Māyāvāda school say that one may chant any name and still get the same result. But here we find that millions and millions of years ago, when Nārada Muni was a Gandharva, he neglected the order to glorify the Lord, and being mad in the association of women, he began to chant otherwise. Thus he was cursed to become a śūdra. His first offense was that he went to join the saṅkīrtana party in the company of lusty women, and another offense was that he considered ordinary songs, like cinema songs and other such songs, to be equal to saṅkīrtana. For this offense he was punished with becoming a śūdra.
"O son of Pṛthā, those who take shelter in Me, though they be of lower birth—women, vaiśyas (merchants), as well as śūdras (workers)—can approach the supreme destination." It doesn't matter whether a person is born as a śūdra, a woman or a vaiśya; if he associates with devotees repeatedly or always (sādhu-saṅgena), he can be elevated to the highest perfection. Nārada Muni is explaining this in relation to his own life. The saṅkīrtana movement is important, for regardless of whether one is a śūdra, vaiśya, mleccha, yavana or whatever, if one associates with a pure devotee, follows his instructions and serves the pure devotee, his life is successful. This is bhakti. Ānukūlyena kṛṣṇānuśīlanam (CC Madhya 19.167). Bhakti consists of serving Kṛṣṇa and His devotees very favorably. Anyābhilāṣitā-śūnyam (Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu 1.1.11). If one has no desire other than to serve Kṛṣṇa and His devotee, then his life is successful. This is explained by Nārada Muni through this practical example from his own life.
SB Canto 8
The material bondage of this world is that a beautiful woman can captivate a handsome man and that a handsome man can captivate a beautiful woman. Such are the affairs that began when Lord Śiva observed the beautiful girl playing with the ball. In such activities, the influence of Cupid is very prominent. As both parties move their eyebrows and glance at one another, their lusty desires increase more and more. Such reciprocations of lusty desire took place between Lord Śiva and the beautiful woman, even though Umā and Lord Śiva's associates were by Lord Śiva's side. Such is the attraction between man and woman in the material world. Lord Śiva was supposed to be above all this attraction, but he was victimized by the captivating power of Lord Viṣṇu. Ṛṣabhadeva thus explains the nature of lusty attraction:
- puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ
- tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ
- ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair
- janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti
"The attraction between male and female is the basic principle of material existence. On the basis of this misconception, which ties together the hearts of the male and female, one becomes attracted to his body, home, property, children, relatives and wealth. In this way one increases life's illusions and thinks in terms of 'I and mine.' " (SB 5.5.8) When a man and woman exchange feelings of lust, both of them are victimized, and thus they are bound to this material world in various ways.
SB Canto 9
We have actually seen, especially in the Western countries, that men who have reached more than eighty years of age still go to nightclubs and pay heavy fees to drink wine and associate with women. Although such men are too old to enjoy anything, their desires have not ceased. Time deteriorates even the body itself, which is the medium for all sensual satisfaction, but even when a man becomes old and invalid, his desires are strong enough to dictate that he go here and there to satisfy the desires of his senses. Therefore, by the practice of bhakti-yoga, one should give up his lusty desires. As explained by Śrī Yāmunācārya:
- yad-avadhi mama cetaḥ kṛṣṇa-pādāravinde
- nava-nava-rasa-dhāmany udyataṁ rantum āsīt
- tad-avadhi bata nārī-saṅgame smaryamāne
- bhavati mukha-vikāraḥ suṣṭhu niṣṭhīvanaṁ ca
When one is Kṛṣṇa conscious, he gets more and more happiness by discharging duties for Kṛṣṇa. Such a person spits on sense gratification, especially that of sexual enjoyment. An experienced, advanced devotee is no longer interested in sex life. The strong desire for sex can be subdued only by advancement in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
The oṁkāra, praṇava, is the Supreme Personality of Godhead represented by letters. Bhagavad-gītā says that the letters a-u-m, combined together as oṁ, represent the Supreme Lord. Religious principles are meant to invoke the blessings and mercy of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Kṛṣṇa, who says in Bhagavad-gītā that He is personally present in sexual desires that are not contrary to religious principles. The word vidhinā means, "according to religious principles." The association of men and women according to religious principles is allowed in the Vedic culture. In our Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement we allow marriage on the basis of religious principles, but the sexual combination of men and women as friends is irreligious and is not allowed.
Formerly, after conquering the demigods, all the demons had taken shelter in the lower planetary system known as Rasātala and had brought all the wives and daughters of the demigods there also. Mahārāja Bharata, however, rescued all those women, along with their associates, from the clutches of the demons, and he returned them to the demigods.
SB Cantos 10.14 to 12 (Translations Only)
Expanding Himself us many times as there were cowherd women to associate with, the Supreme Lord, though self-satisfied, playfully enjoyed their company.
You are the embodiment of all human goals and are Yourself the final aim of life. Desiring to attain You, O all-powerful Lord, intelligent persons abandon everything else. It is they who are worthy of Your association, not men and women absorbed in the pleasure and grief resulting from their mutual lust.
Being conscious of the eternal self, one should give up association with women and those intimately associated with women. Sitting fearlessly in a solitary place, one should concentrate the mind on Me with great attention.
Those who are not married—sannyāsīs, vānaprasthas and brahmacārīs—should never associate with women by glancing, touching, conversing, joking or sporting. Neither should they ever associate with any living entity engaged in sexual activities.
Yet even one who theoretically understands the actual nature of the body should never associate with women or with men attached to women. After all, the contact of the senses with their objects inevitably agitates the mind.
Therefore one should never let his senses associate freely with women or with men attached to women. Even those who are highly learned cannot trust the six enemies of the mind; what to speak, then, of foolish persons like me.
Sri Caitanya-caritamrta
CC Adi-lila
Kṛṣṇadāsa is described in the Madhya-līlā, chapters Seven and Nine. He went with Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu to carry His waterpot. In the Malabar state, members of the Bhaṭṭathāri cult tried to captivate Kṛṣṇadāsa by supplying a woman to seduce him, but although Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu saved him from being harmed, when they returned to Jagannātha Purī He ordered that Kṛṣṇadāsa remain separate from Him, for the Lord was never favorably disposed toward an associate who was attracted by a woman. Thus Kṛṣṇadāsa lost the personal association of Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu.
Lusty materialists like the members of the sahajiyā-sampradāya hanker after women, even others' wives. But when they try to ascribe the responsibility for their lusty activities to Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, they become offenders to Svarūpa Dāmodara and Śrīla Vṛndāvana dāsa Ṭhākura. In Śrī Caitanya-bhāgavata, Ādi-khaṇḍa, Chapter Fifteen, it is said:
- sabe para-strīra prati nāhi parihāsa
- strī dekhi' dūre prabhu hayena eka-pāśa
"Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu never even joked with others" wives. As soon as He saw a woman coming, He would immediately give her ample room to pass without talking.’ He was extremely strict regarding the association of women. The sahajiyās, however, pose as followers of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu although they indulge in lusty affairs with women. In His youth Lord Caitanya was very humorous with everyone, but He never joked with any woman, nor in this incarnation did He talk about women. The gaurāṅga-nāgarī party is not approved by Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu or Vṛndāvana dāsa Ṭhākura. Even though one may offer all kinds of prayers to Caitanya Mahāprabhu, one should strictly avoid worshiping Him as the Gaurāṅga Nāgara. The personal behavior of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu and the verses written by Śrī Vṛndāvana dāsa Ṭhākura have completely repudiated the lusty desires of the gaurāṅga-nāgarīs.”
CC Madhya-lila
This behavior is indicative of real Vaiṣṇavas. When they saw that Rūpa and Sanātana were fortunate enough to receive the mercy of the Lord, they were so pleased that they all congratulated the two brothers. A jealous person in the dress of a Vaiṣṇava is not at all happy to see the success of another Vaiṣṇava in receiving the Lord's mercy. Unfortunately, in this Age of Kali there are many mundane persons in the dress of Vaiṣṇavas, and Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura has described them as disciples of Kali. He says, kali-celā. He indicates that there is another Vaiṣṇava, a pseudo Vaiṣṇava with tilaka on his nose and kaṇṭhī beads around his neck. Such a pseudo Vaiṣṇava associates with money and women and is jealous of successful Vaiṣṇavas. Although passing for a Vaiṣṇava, his only business is earning money in the dress of a Vaiṣṇava. Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura therefore says that such a pseudo Vaiṣṇava is not a Vaiṣṇava at all but a disciple of Kali-yuga. A disciple of Kali cannot become an ācārya by the decision of some high-court. Mundane votes have no jurisdiction to elect a Vaiṣṇava ācārya. A Vaiṣṇava ācārya is self-effulgent, and there is no need for any court judgment. A false ācārya may try to override a Vaiṣṇava by a high-court decision, but Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura says that he is nothing but a disciple of Kali-yuga.
This is the answer to Lord Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu's question, and from this we can understand that Veṅkaṭa Bhaṭṭa knew the truth. He told Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu that Nārāyaṇa is a form of Kṛṣṇa associated with transcendental opulence. Although Kṛṣṇa is two-armed and Nārāyaṇa four-armed, there is no difference in the person. They are one and the same. Nārāyaṇa is as beautiful as Kṛṣṇa, but Kṛṣṇa's pastimes are more sportive. It is not that the sportive pastimes of Kṛṣṇa make Him different from Nārāyaṇa. Lakṣmī’s desiring to associate with Kṛṣṇa was perfectly natural. In other words, it is understandable that a chaste woman wants to associate with her husband in all his different dresses. Therefore one should not criticize Lakṣmī for wanting to associate with Kṛṣṇa.
Kālā Kṛṣṇadāsa was influenced and allured by nomads or gypsies, who enticed him with women. Māyā is so strong that Kālā Kṛṣṇadāsa left Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu's company to join gypsy women. Even though a person may associate with Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, he can be allured by māyā and leave the Lord's company due to his slight independence. Only one who is overwhelmed by māyā can be so unfortunate as to leave Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu's company, yet unless one is very conscientious, the influence of māyā can drag one away, even though he be the personal assistant of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu. And what to speak of others? The Bhaṭṭathāris used to increase their numbers by using women to allure outsiders. This is factual evidence showing that it is possible at any time to fall down from the Lord's association. One need only misuse his little independence. Once fallen and separated from the Supreme Personality of Godhead's association, one becomes a candidate for suffering in the material world. Although rejected by Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, Kālā Kṛṣṇadāsa was given another chance, as the following verses relate.
Although the mind may be merged in spiritual consciousness, one should always be very careful in dealing with it, just as one is careful in dealing with a snake. One should never think that his mind is trained and that he can do whatever he likes. One interested in spiritual life should always engage his mind in the service of the Lord so that the enemies of the mind, who always accompany the mind, will be subdued. If the mind is not engaged in Kṛṣṇa consciousness at every moment, there is a chance that it will give way to its enemies. In this way we become victims of the mind.
Chanting the Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra engages the mind at the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa constantly; thus the mind's enemies do not have a chance to strike. Following Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu's example in these verses, we should be very careful in dealing with the mind, which should not be indulged in any circumstance. Once we indulge the mind, it can create havoc in this life, even though we may be spiritually advanced. The mind is specifically agitated through the association of materialistic men and women. Therefore Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, through His personal behavior, warns everyone to avoid meeting a materialistic person or a woman.
Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura has pointed out that this vṛndāvana-vihāra—the pastimes of Vṛndāvana—does not refer to Kṛṣṇa's mixing with the gopīs or the transcendental mellow of parakīya-rasa. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu's vṛndāvana-līlā in the garden of Jagannātha Purī did not involve association with women or with other people's wives in the fashion transcendentally demonstrated by Śrī Kṛṣṇa. In His vṛndāvana-līlā, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu conceived of Himself as the assistant of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī. When Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī enjoyed the company of Kṛṣṇa, Her maidservants were very pleased. One should not compare Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu's vṛndāvana-vihāra in the garden of Jagannātha with the activities of the gaurāṅga-nāgarīs.
The unwanted creepers have been described by Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura. He states that if one hears and chants without trying to give up offenses, one becomes materially attached to sense gratification. One may also desire freedom from material bondage like the Māyāvādīs, or one may become attached to the yoga-siddhis and desire wonderful yogic powers. If one is attached to wonderful material activities, one is called siddhi-lobhī, greedy for material perfection. One may also be victimized by diplomatic or crooked behavior, or one may associate with women for illicit sex. One may make a show of devotional service like the prākṛta-sahajiyās, or one may try to support his philosophy by joining some caste or identifying himself with a certain dynasty, claiming a monopoly on spiritual advancement. Thus with the support of family tradition, one may become a pseudo guru, or so-called spiritual master. One may become attached to the four sinful activities—illicit sex, intoxication, gambling and meat-eating—or one may consider a Vaiṣṇava to belong to a mundane caste or creed. One may think, "This is a Hindu Vaiṣṇava, and this is a European Vaiṣṇava. European Vaiṣṇavas are not allowed to enter the temples." In other words, one may consider Vaiṣṇavas in terms of birth, thinking one a brāhmaṇa Vaiṣṇava, another a śūdra Vaiṣṇava, another a mleccha Vaiṣṇava and so on. One may also try to carry out a professional business by means of chanting the Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra or reading Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, or one may try to increase his monetary strength by illegal means. Also, one may become a cheap Vaiṣṇava by trying to chant in a secluded place for material adoration, or one may desire mundane reputation by making compromises with nondevotees concerning one's philosophy or spiritual life, or one may become a supporter of a hereditary caste system. All these are pitfalls of personal sense gratification. Just to cheat some innocent people, one makes a show of advanced spiritual life and becomes known as a sādhu, mahātmā or religious person. All this means that the so-called devotee has become victimized by all these unwanted creepers and that the real creeper, the bhakti-latā, has been stunted.
The fact is that devotional service is bestowed by the blessings of a pure devotee (sa mahātmā su-durlabhaḥ). A pure devotee is the supreme transcendentalist, and one has to receive his mercy for one's dormant Kṛṣṇa consciousness to be awakened. One has to associate with pure devotees. If one has firm faith in the words of a great soul, pure devotional service will awaken.
In this chapter Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu differentiates between a pure devotee and others. He also describes the characteristics of a pure devotee. A devotee's most formidable enemy is association with women in an enjoying spirit. Association with nondevotees is also condemned because it is also a formidable enemy on the path of devotional service. One has to fully surrender unto the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa and give up attraction for women and nondevotees.
The six symptoms of fully surrendered souls are also described in this chapter. Devotional service has been divided into two categories-regulative devotional service and spontaneous love. There are sixty-four items listed in regulative devotional service, and out of these sixty-four the last five are considered very important. By practicing even one of the nine processes of devotional service, one can become successful. Speculative knowledge and mystic yoga can never help one in devotional service. Pious activity, nonviolence, sense control and regulation are not separate from devotional service in its pure form. If one engages in devotional service, all good qualities follow. One does not have to cultivate them separately. Spontaneous devotional service arises when one follows a pure devotee who is awakened to spontaneous love of God. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu describes the symptoms of devotees who are already situated in spontaneous love of God. He also describes the devotees who are trying to follow in the footsteps of the pure devotees.
“"By association with worldly people, one becomes devoid of truthfulness, cleanliness, mercy, gravity, spiritual intelligence, shyness, austerity, fame, forgiveness, control of the mind, control of the senses, fortune and all opportunities. One should not at any time associate with a coarse fool who is bereft of the knowledge of self-realization and who is no more than a toy animal in the hands of a woman. The illusion and bondage that accrue to a man from attachment to any other object are not as complete as that resulting from association with a woman or with men too much attached to women."
These verses, quoted from Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (3.31.33–35), were spoken by Kapiladeva, an incarnation of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, to His mother. Herein Kapiladeva discusses pious and impious activities and the symptoms of those who are devoid of devotional service to Kṛṣṇa. Generally people do not know about the miserable conditions within the womb of a mother in any species of life. Due to bad association, one gradually falls into lower species. Association with women is greatly stressed in this regard. When one becomes attached to women or to those who are attached to women, one falls down into the lower species.
- puruṣaḥ prakṛti-stho hi bhuṅkte prakṛti-jān guṇān
- kāraṇaṁ guṇa-saṅgo ‘sya sad-asad-yoni-janmasu
"The living entity in material nature thus follows the ways of life, enjoying the three modes of nature. This is due to his association with that material nature. Thus he meets with good and evil among various species." (Bhagavad-gītā 13.22)
According to Vedic civilization, one's association with women should be very much restricted. In spiritual life there are four āśramas—brahmacarya, gṛhastha, vānaprastha and sannyāsa. The brahmacārī, vānaprastha and sannyāsī are completely forbidden to associate with women. Only gṛhasthas are allowed to associate with women under certain very much restricted conditions—that is, one associates with women to propagate nice children. Other reasons for association are condemned.
CC Antya-lila
One who accepts the order of sannyāsa but again becomes agitated by sensual disturbances and talks privately with women is called dharma-dhvajī or dharma-kalaṅka, which means that he brings condemnation upon the religious order. Therefore one should be extremely careful in this connection. Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura explains the word markaṭa to mean "restless." A restless person cannot be steady; therefore he simply wanders about, gratifying his senses. Just to get praise from others, to get cheap adoration from his followers or people in general, such a person sometimes accepts the dress of a sannyāsī or bābājī in the renounced order, but he cannot give up desires for sense gratification, especially for the association of women. Such a person cannot make advancement in spiritual life. There are eight different kinds of sensual enjoyment with women, including talking about them and thinking about them. Thus for a sannyāsī, a person in the renounced order, talking intimately with women is a great offense. Śrī Rāmānanda Rāya and Śrīla Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura actually achieved the most elevated stage of the renounced order, but those who imitate them, accepting them as ordinary human beings, fall under the influence of the material energy, for that is a great misunderstanding.
Other Books by Srila Prabhupada
Teachings of Lord Caitanya
The Lord then informed Sanātana Gosvāmī about the behavior of a devotee. Here the main point is that one should always stay aloof from unholy association. That is the sum and substance of a devotee's behavior. And what is unholy association? It is association with one who is too much attached to women and with one who is not a devotee of Lord Kṛṣṇa. These are unholy persons. One is advised to associate with the holy devotees of the Lord and carefully avoid the association of unholy nondevotees. Those who are pure devotees of Kṛṣṇa are very careful to keep aloof from the two types of nondevotees. In Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (3.31.33-35) it is said that one should give up all association with a person who is a playmate for women, for by associating with such an unholy person one becomes bereft of all good qualities, such as truthfulness, cleanliness, mercy, gravity, intelligence, shyness, beauty, fame, forgiveness, control of the mind and senses and all the opulences that are automatically obtained by a devotee. A man is never so degraded as when he associates with persons who are too much attached to women.
In this regard, Lord Caitanya also quotes a verse from Kātyāyana-saṁhitā: "One should rather tolerate the miseries of being locked in a cage filled with fire than associate with those who are not devotees of the Lord."One is also advised not to even look at the faces of persons who are irreligious or who are devoid of devotion to the Supreme Lord. Lord Caitanya recommends that one should scrupulously renounce the association of unwanted persons and completely take shelter of the Supreme Lord Kṛṣṇa. This same instruction is given to Arjuna in the last verses of Bhagavad-gītā in which Kṛṣṇa says:"Just give up everything and surrender unto Me. I will take care of you and protect you from all the reactions to sinful activities." (BG 18.66) The Lord is very kind to His devotees, and He is very grateful, able and magnanimous. It is our duty to believe His words, and if we are intelligent and educated enough, we will follow His instructions without hesitation. In Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.48.26) Akrūra tells Kṛṣṇa:
Nectar of Devotion
Therefore the gopīs' ecstatic love for Kṛṣṇa is sometimes described by scholars as being like the "lusty desire" of the material world, but actually this should not be taken as a literal fact. It is simply a way of trying to understand the transcendental situation.
Great devotees up to the standard of Uddhava are very dear friends of the Lord, and they desire to follow in the footsteps of the gopīs. So the gopīs' love for Kṛṣṇa is certainly not material lusty desire. Otherwise, how could Uddhava aspire to follow in their footsteps? Another instance is Lord Caitanya Himself. After accepting the sannyāsa order of life, He was very, very strict about avoiding association with women, but still He taught that there is no better method of worshiping Kṛṣṇa than that conceived by the gopīs. Thus the gopīs' method of worshiping the Lord as if impelled by lusty desire was praised very highly even by Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu. This very fact means that although the attraction of the gopīs for Kṛṣṇa appears to be lusty, it is not in the least bit material. Unless one is fully situated in the transcendental position, the relationship of the gopīs with Kṛṣṇa is very difficult to understand. But because it appears to be just like ordinary dealings of young boys and girls, it is sometimes misinterpreted to be like the ordinary sex of this material world. Unfortunately, persons who cannot understand the transcendental nature of the love affairs of the gopīs and Kṛṣṇa take it for granted that Kṛṣṇa's love affairs with the gopīs are mundane transactions, and therefore they sometimes indulge in painting licentious pictures in some modernistic style.
Nectar of Instruction
"My dear brother, you are in the renounced order of life and should not listen to talk about ordinary worldly things, nor should you talk about worldly things when you meet with others. Do not think of women even in dreams. You have accepted the renounced order of life with a vow that forbids you to associate with women. If you wish to associate with Caitanya Mahāprabhu, you must always remember the incident of Choṭa Haridāsa and how he was rejected by the Lord. Do not eat luxurious dishes or dress in fine garments, but always remain humble and serve Their Lordships Śrī Śrī Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa in your heart of hearts."
The conclusion is that one who can control these six items—speech, mind, anger, tongue, belly and genitals—is to be called a svāmī or gosvāmī. Svāmī means master, and gosvāmī means master of the go, or senses. When one accepts the renounced order of life, he automatically assumes the title of svāmī. This does not mean that he is the master of his family, community or society; he must be master of his senses. Unless one is master of his senses, he should not be called gosvāmī, but go-dāsa, servant of the senses. Following in the footsteps of the six Gosvāmīs of Vṛndāvana, all svāmīs and gosvāmīs should fully engage in the transcendental loving service of the Lord. As opposed to this, the go-dāsas engage in the service of the senses or in the service of the material world. They have no other engagement. Prahlāda Mahārāja has further described the go-dāsa as adānta-go, which refers to one whose senses are not controlled. An adānta-go cannot become a servant of Kṛṣṇa. In Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (7.5.30), Prahlāda Mahārāja has said:
Krsna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead
The basic Vedic injunctions never allow a person to enjoy sex with any woman except his own wife. Kṛṣṇa's appreciation of the gopīs appeared to be distinctly in violation of these rules. Mahārāja Parīkṣit understood the total situation from Śukadeva Gosvāmī, yet to further clarify the transcendental nature of Kṛṣṇa and the gopīs in the rāsa dance, he expressed his surprise. This is very important in order to check the unrestricted association with women by the prākṛta-sahajiyās.
In his statement, Mahārāja Parīkṣit has used several important words which require clarification. The first word, jugupsitam, means "abominable." The first doubt of Mahārāja Parīkṣit was as follows: Lord Kṛṣṇa is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who had advented Himself to establish religious principles. Why then did He mix with others' wives in the dead of night and enjoy dancing, embracing and kissing? According to the Vedic injunctions, this is not allowed. Also, when the gopīs first came to Him, He gave instructions to them to return to their homes. To call the wives of other persons or young girls and enjoy dancing with them is certainly abominable according to the Vedas. Why should Kṛṣṇa have done this?
Yet we do not find any Sarasvatī River in Gujarat Province, although there is a river named Savarmatī. In India, all the big places of pilgrimage are situated on nice rivers like the Ganges, Yamunā, Sarasvatī, Narmadā, Godāvarī and Kāverī. Ambikāvana was situated on the bank of the Sarasvatī, and Nanda Mahārāja and all the other cowherd men went there.
They very devotedly began to worship the deity of Lord Śiva and Ambikā. It is the general practice that wherever there is a temple of Lord Śiva, there must be another temple, of Ambikā (or Durgā), because Ambikā is the wife of Lord Śiva and is the most exalted of chaste women. She doesn’t live outside the association of her husband. After reaching Ambikāvana, the cowherd men of Vṛndāvana first bathed themselves in the river Sarasvatī. If one goes to any place of pilgrimage, his first duty is to take a bath and sometimes to shave his head. That is the first business. After taking a bath, they worshiped the deities and then distributed charity in the holy places.
If you go there and glorify Kṛṣṇa, they may be pleased to reward you. You are just trying to pacify Me by your behavior as a flatterer, and therefore you have put your head under My feet. But I know the trick you are trying to play. I know that you are a messenger coming from an even greater trickster, Kṛṣṇa. Therefore, please leave Me.
“I can understand that you are expert in reuniting two opposing parties, but at the same time you must know that I cannot place My reliance upon you, nor upon your master, Kṛṣṇa. We left our husbands, children and relatives only for Kṛṣṇa, yet He did not feel any obligation in exchange. At last He left us forlorn. Do you think we can place our faith in Him again? We know that Kṛṣṇa cannot live for a moment without the association of young women. That is His nature. He is finding difficulty in Mathurā because He is no longer in the village among innocent cowherd girls. He is in aristocratic society and must be feeling difficulty in making friendships with other young girls. Perhaps you have come here to canvass again or to take us there. But why should Kṛṣṇa expect us to go there? He is greatly qualified to entice all other girls, not only in Vṛndāvana or Mathurā but all over the universe. His wonderfully enchanting smile is so attractive and the movements of His eyebrows are so beautiful that He can call for any woman from the heavenly, middle or plutonic planets. Even Mahā-Lakṣmī, the greatest of all goddesses of fortune, hankers to render Him some service. In comparison to all these women of the universe, what are we? We are very insignificant.
You are the supreme source from which everything emanates, the reservoir of all pleasures. Therefore, persons endowed with knowledge desire only to achieve You, and nothing else. To achieve Your favor, they give up everything—even the transcendental realization of Brahman. You are the supreme, ultimate goal of life. You are the reservoir of all interests of the living entities. Those who are actually well motivated desire only You, and for this reason they give up everything to attain success. They therefore deserve to associate with You. In the society of the servitors and served in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, one is not subjected to the pains and pleasures of material society, which functions according to sex attraction. Therefore everyone, whether man or woman, should seek to be an associate in Your society of servitors and served. You are the Supreme Personality of Godhead; no one can excel You, nor can anyone come up to an equal level with You. The perfect social system is that in which You remain in the center, being served as the Supreme, and all others engage as Your servitors. In such a perfectly constructed society, everyone can remain eternally happy and blissful.
“My Lord, You have stated that only the beggars praise Your glories, and that is also perfectly correct. But who are those beggars? Those beggars are all exalted devotees, liberated personalities and those in the renounced order of life. They are all great souls and devotees who have no other business than to glorify You. Such great souls forgive even the worst offenders. These so-called beggars execute their spiritual advancement in life, tolerating all tribulations in the material world. My dear husband, do not think that I accepted You as my husband out of my inexperience; actually, I followed all these great souls. I followed the path of these great beggars and decided to surrender my life unto Your lotus feet.
Mukunda-mala-stotra (mantras 1 to 6 only)
Similarly, the pure devotee of the Lord does not live anywhere in this material world, although He appears to live among mundane creatures. Actually, the devotee lives in Vaikuṇṭha. In this way the Supreme Lord bestows upon His pure devotee the inconceivable power that allows him to stay aloof from all mundane circumstances and reside eternally in the spiritual world. The devotee does not want this power consciously or unconsciously, but the Lord is careful about His devotee, just as a mother is always careful about her little child, who is completely dependent on her care.
A pure devotee like King Kulaśekhara refuses to associate with beautiful soft-skinned women. There are different grades of women on different planets in the universe. Even on the earth there are different types of women who are enjoyed by different types of men. But on higher planets there are women many, many millions of times more beautiful than the women on this planet, and there are also many pleasure abodes where they can be enjoyed. The best of all of these is the Nandana Gardens on Svargaloka. In the Nandana Gardens—a "Garden of Eden"—those who are qualified can enjoy varieties of beautiful women called Apsarās. The demigods generally enjoy the company of the Apsarās in the same way that the great Mogul kings and nawabs enjoyed their harems. But these kings and nawabs are like straw before the demigods of Svargaloka, which lies in the third stratum of the universe.
| Page Title: | Association with women (Books) |
| Compiler: | Visnu Murti, RupaManjari |
| Created: | 14 of Apr, 2013 |
| Totals by Section: | BG=3, SB=51, CC=12, OB=8, Lec=0, Con=0, Let=0 |
| No. of Quotes: | 74 |