Arjuna is a great warrior. He could fight all the soldiers, all the fighting men, yuyutsu. The other party, they were also, they were assembled, yuyutsu, with fighting spirit. Other men, even they are not fighting spirit, we can kill very easily. But own men, although they are fighting spirit, still he hesitates, because own men. So this "own-menship," in relationship with the body, is the barrier for spiritual understanding.
So long this conception of life will exist that, "I am this body, and anyone who is related with this body, they are my own men, kinsmen, relative . . ." This conception of life is the greatest barrier for advancing in spiritual consciousness. Therefore the Vedic civilization is so planned that one has to give up this rascal "own men" conception. That is the vairāgya. It is called vairāgya. Jñāna-vairāgya.
Two things required in human life: knowledge and vairāgya, detachment. The attachment increases. First of all it increases, puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etam (SB 5.5.8). This whole world is based on sex life. A man has got attraction for woman; a woman has got attraction for man. This is nature's bondage, shackle. And when they are actually united, either by the father, mother, or by their own way, that shackle, that attraction, increases. Puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthi āhuḥ. Hṛdaya-granthi, knot in the heart. "She is my wife," "He is my husband."
Of course, now that knot is very slack. Formerly it was very strong, because the woman was not allowed to mix with any other man, and the man was also not allowed with any other woman. This intermingling has slackened even that knot, hṛdaya-granthim. Therefore, even trifle cases, quarrel between husband and wife, there is divorce. Because that unity is not very strong now. That is good. Some way or other, it is slackened. So this "own-menship" comes from bodily concept of life.