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Actually I did not follow him (my Guru Maharaja) in the beginning. High philosophical speaking and I was a new boy. I could not follow him, but actually I was so much glad to hear him. That's all

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"Actually, I did not follow him in the beginning. High philosophical speaking, and I was new boy. I could not follow him, but actually I was so much glad to hear him. That's all"

Conversations and Morning Walks

1969 Conversations and Morning Walks

"This boy hears very nicely. He does not go away," the first impression he gave to other godbrothers. "So I shall make him disciple." These very words he said. Actually I did not follow him in the beginning. High philosophical speaking and I was a new boy. I could not follow him, but actually I was so much glad to hear him. That's all. So that was my qualification, whatever you may say. I was simply asking, "When Guru Mahārāja will speak? When he will speak? When?" And I will sit down and go on hearing, and I will understand or not understand-others will disperse—I will not disperse. That he marked.


Room Conversation -- May 10, 1969, Columbus, Ohio:

Prabhupāda: Para Brahm . . . param means the chief, param.

Kīrtanānanda: Param Brahman.

Prabhupāda: Param Brahman. We are all Brahmans. Ahaṁ brahmāsmi. Every one of us, living entity, Brahman. But He is the chief Brahman. Just like everyone . . . just like you are all Americans, but your president is the chief American. Do you understand? Similarly, Kṛṣṇa is the chief Brahman. You are all Brahman, but He is the chief Brahman. Is it clear? That's all right.

(break) . . . that, "This boy hears very nicely. He does not go away," the first impression he gave to other Godbrothers. "So I shall make him disciple." These very word he said. Actually, I did not follow him in the beginning. High philosophical speaking, and I was new boy. I could not follow him, but actually I was so much glad to hear him. That's all. (chuckles) So that was my qualification, whatever you may say. I was simply asking, "When Guru Mahārāja will speak? When he will speak? When?" And I will sit down and go on hearing, and I understand or not understand—others will disperse—I will not disperse. That he marked. Yes. First.

There was first one instance. At that time I was not initiated. There was a circumambulation of whole Vṛndāvana. So although I was not initiated, I was one of the important members of the . . . so I thought, "Let me go. What these people are doing, circumambulating all over Vṛndāvana?" So I went to Mathurā. Then I went to the Vṛndāvana interior, which place was known as Kosi. So in that Koṣi one of my Godbrother declared that "Prabhupāda is going tomorrow back to Mathurā. So he will speak this evening. So anyone who wants to hear him, they can stay. And others may prepare to . . ."

(aside) Sit down.

Pradyumna: Two people just came.

Prabhupāda: Oh. All right.

Pradyumna: Can the boys downstairs bring them?

Prabhupāda: Yes. So they were to go to see some other temple, which is called Śeṣayī Temple. So although I was new man, I did not like to go to see the Śeṣayī Temple. I decided that, "I shall hear." So at that time I was new, so all other, some of my important Godbrothers, they were sitting like this, and I was sitting. At last, you see. But he knew that, "This boy is new." Everyone has gone, all others, except a few selected Godbrothers. So he marked it that, "This boy is interested to hear me."

So hearing very important. Hearing. Just like Arjuna heard from Kṛṣṇa.

(aside) Come on. (people entering)

(break) . . . because I was serious of hearing, and therefore now I am serious about kīrtanaṁ, means speaking, or preaching. Do you follow what I said? Yes. So one who is serious about hearing, he can become a future nice preacher. Śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ. Next stage is developed. That is development. If one has actually heard nicely, then he will speak nicely. Śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ smaraṇaṁ.

Then consciousness will automatically develop, because when you speak or you hear, unless your mind is concentrated, your consciousness is right, you cannot rightly hear or speak. Śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ smaraṇaṁ pāda-sevanam. And then the development, "How I shall serve Kṛṣṇa? Kṛṣṇa is so loving. Kṛṣṇa is so great," that automatically comes. Not silent, but activity. Pāda-sevanam means that activity begins immediately.

In this way, last item is sarvātma-snapanaṁ. Sarvātma . . . ātma-samarpaṇam, sarvātma-samarpaṇam. Bali Mahārāja, just like: giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, giving. Then, when Vamanadeva asked, "Now, Bali Mahārāja, you have lost everything. Still I have got another leg, another foot, to place." "Yes. There is one thing. It is my head. Come on." (chuckles)

So everything he said, and Lord Vamanadeva, "Yes. You have now purchased Me. You have now purchased Me. So I shall remain your doorman here, standing always to give you protection." So Kṛṣṇa became purchased by him, and He remained his doorman. Just see His mercy. Dvārā. Dvārī. Dvāri means doorman.

So by serving Kṛṣṇa, nobody is loser; he is gainer. He is gainer permanently, eternally. And we do not know what is the value of that gain now. Because we are materially covered, we think service means just like service in this world. This service is māyā. Nobody will be satisfied. Nobody. You cannot satisfy, neither you will be satisfied. The best example is in your country, that your president, Mr. Kennedy, he gave you the best service, and the result was that you killed him. You or some of your member killed him.