Expressions researched:
"faithful wife"
Srimad-Bhagavatam
SB Canto 1
Gāndhārī was a powerful ascetic, although she was living the life of a faithful wife and a kind mother.
SB 1.9.48, Purport: Gāndhārī was a powerful ascetic, although she was living the life of a faithful wife and a kind mother. It is said that Gāndhārī also voluntarily closed her eyes because of the blindness of her husband. A wife's duty is to follow the husband cent percent. And Gāndhārī was so true to her husband that she followed him even in his perpetual blindness. Therefore in her actions she was a great ascetic. Besides that, the shock she suffered because of the wholesale killing of her one hundred sons and her grandsons also was certainly too much for a woman. But she suffered all this just like an ascetic. Gāndhārī, although a woman, is no less than Bhīṣmadeva in character. They are both remarkable personalities in the Mahābhārata.
Mahārāja Dhṛtarāṣṭra did not deny his faithful wife, and she followed her husband at her own risk.
SB 1.13.30, Translation and Purport: The gentle and chaste Gāndhārī, who was the daughter of King Subala of Kandahar (or Gāndhāra), followed her husband, seeing that he was going to the Himalaya Mountains, which are the delight of those who have accepted the staff of the renounced order like fighters who have accepted a good lashing from the enemy.
Saubalinī, or Gāndhārī, daughter of King Subala and wife of King Dhṛtarāṣṭra, was ideal as a wife devoted to her husband. The Vedic civilization especially prepares chaste and devoted wives, of whom Gāndhārī is one amongst many mentioned in history. Lakṣmījī Sītādevī was also a daughter of a great king, but she followed her husband, Lord Rāmacandra, into the forest. Similarly, as a woman Gāndhārī could have remained at home or at her father's house, but as a chaste and gentle lady she followed her husband without consideration. Instructions for the renounced order of life were imparted to Dhṛtarāṣṭra by Vidura, and Gāndhārī was by the side of her husband. But he did not ask her to follow him because he was at that time fully determined, like a great warrior who faces all kinds of dangers in the battlefield. He was no longer attracted to so-called wife or relatives, and he decided to start alone, but as a chaste lady Gāndhārī decided to follow her husband till the last moment. Mahārāja Dhṛtarāṣṭra accepted the order of vānaprastha, and at this stage the wife is allowed to remain as a voluntary servitor, but in the sannyāsa stage no wife can stay with her former husband. A sannyāsī is considered to be a dead man civilly, and therefore the wife becomes a civil widow without connection with her former husband. Mahārāja Dhṛtarāṣṭra did not deny his faithful wife, and she followed her husband at her own risk.
SB Canto 3
A faithful wife cannot live without her lord, the husband, and therefore all widows used to voluntarily embrace the burning fire which consumed the dead husband.
SB 3.1.40, Translation and Purport: O my lord, is Pṛthā still living? She lived only for the sake of her fatherless children; otherwise it was impossible for her to live without King Pāṇḍu, who was the greatest commander and who alone conquered the four directions simply with the help of a second bow.
A faithful wife cannot live without her lord, the husband, and therefore all widows used to voluntarily embrace the burning fire which consumed the dead husband. This system was very common in India because all the wives were chaste and faithful to their husbands. Later on, with the advent of the age of Kali, the wives gradually began to be less adherent to their husbands, and the voluntary embrace of the fire by the widows became a thing of the past. Very recently the system was abolished, since the voluntary system had become a forcible social custom.
A faithful wife and spiritually trained brahmacārī are a good combination for advancement of the human mission.
SB 3.14.17, Translation and Purport: O afflicted one, I shall forthwith gratify whatever desire is dear to you, for who else but you is the source of the three perfections of liberation?
The three perfections of liberation are religiosity, economic development and sense gratification: For a conditioned soul, the wife is considered to be the source of liberation because she offers her service to the husband for his ultimate liberation. Conditional material existence is based on sense gratification, and if someone has the good fortune to get a good wife, he is helped by the wife in all respects. If one is disturbed in his conditional life, he becomes more and more entangled in material contamination. A faithful wife is supposed to cooperate with her husband in fulfilling all material desires so that he can then become comfortable and execute spiritual activities for the perfection of life. If, however, the husband is progressive in spiritual advancement, the wife undoubtedly shares in his activities, and thus both the wife and the husband profit in spiritual perfection. It is essential, therefore, that girls as well as boys be trained to discharge spiritual duties so that at the time of cooperation both will be benefited. The training of the boy is brahmacarya, and the training of the girl is chastity. A faithful wife and spiritually trained brahmacārī are a good combination for advancement of the human mission.
There are so many instances of falldown, even for great yogīs like Viśvāmitra. A gṛhastha is saved, however, because of his faithful wife.
SB 3.14.20, Translation and Purport: As a fort commander very easily conquers invading plunderers, by taking shelter of a wife one can conquer the senses, which are unconquerable in the other social orders.
Of the four orders of human society—the student, or brahmacārī order, the householder, or gṛhastha order, the retired, or vānaprastha order, and the renounced, or sannyāsī order—the householder is on the safe side. The bodily senses are considered plunderers of the fort of the body. The wife is supposed to be the commander of the fort, and therefore whenever there is an attack on the body by the senses, it is the wife who protects the body from being smashed. The sex demand is inevitable for everyone, but one who has a fixed wife is saved from the onslaught of the sense enemies. A man who possesses a good wife does not create a disturbance in society by corrupting virgin girls. Without a fixed wife, a man becomes a debauchee of the first order and is a nuisance in society—unless he is a trained brahmacārī, vānaprastha or sannyāsī. Unless there is rigid and systematic training of the brahmacārī by the expert spiritual master, and unless the student is obedient, it is sure that the so-called brahmacārī will fall prey to the attack of sex. There are so many instances of falldown, even for great yogīs like Viśvāmitra. A gṛhastha is saved, however, because of his faithful wife. Sex life is the cause of material bondage, and therefore it is prohibited in three āśramas and is allowed only in the gṛhastha-āśrama. The gṛhastha is responsible for producing first-quality brahmacārīs, vānaprasthas and sannyāsīs.
Devahūti was the daughter of an emperor, Svāyambhuva Manu, yet she preferred to accept Kardama Muni as her husband. She served him with great love and affection, and she knew how to please him. Therefore, she is designated here as sādhvī, which means "a chaste, faithful wife."
SB 3.23.1, Translation and Purport: Maitreya continued: After the departure of her parents, the chaste woman Devahūti, who could understand the desires of her husband, served him constantly with great love, as Bhavānī, the wife of Lord Śiva, serves her husband.
The specific example of Bhavānī is very significant. Bhavānī means the wife of Bhava, or Lord Śiva. Bhavānī, or Pārvatī, the daughter of the King of the Himalayas, selected Lord Śiva, who appears to be just like a beggar, as her husband. In spite of her being a princess, she undertook all kinds of tribulations to associate with Lord Śiva, who did not even have a house, but was sitting underneath the trees and passing his time in meditation. Although Bhavānī was the daughter of a very great king, she used to serve Lord Śiva just like a poor woman. Similarly, Devahūti was the daughter of an emperor, Svāyambhuva Manu, yet she preferred to accept Kardama Muni as her husband. She served him with great love and affection, and she knew how to please him. Therefore, she is designated here as sādhvī, which means "a chaste, faithful wife." Her rare example is the ideal of Vedic civilization. Every woman is expected to be as good and chaste as Devahūti or Bhavānī. Today in Hindu society, unmarried girls are still taught to worship Lord Śiva with the idea that they may get husbands like him. Lord Śiva is the ideal husband, not in the sense of riches or sense gratification, but because he is the greatest of all devotees. Vaiṣṇavānāṁ yathā śambhuḥ: Śambhu, or Lord Śiva, is the ideal Vaiṣṇava. He constantly meditates upon Lord Rāma and chants Hare Rāma, Hare Rāma, Rāma Rāma, Hare Hare. Lord Śiva has a Vaiṣṇava sampradāya, which is called the Viṣṇu Svāmī-sampradāya. Unmarried girls worship Lord Śiva so that they can expect a husband who is as good a Vaiṣṇava as he. The girls are not taught to select a husband who is very rich or very opulent for material sense gratification; rather, if a girl is fortunate enough to get a husband as good as Lord Śiva in devotional service, then her life becomes perfect. The wife is dependent on the husband, and if the husband is a Vaiṣṇava, then naturally she shares the devotional service of the husband because she renders him service. This reciprocation of service and love between husband and wife is the ideal of a householder's life.
SB Canto 4
It was not a very easy task for the King to give up his opulent kingdom and young, faithful wife, but it was certainly a great blessing of the Supreme Personality of Godhead that he could give up the attachment and go out to the forest without being seen by anyone.
SB 4.13.47, Translation and Purport: Thinking like that, King Aṅga could not sleep at night. He became completely indifferent to household life. Once, therefore, in the dead of night, he got up from bed and left Vena's mother (his wife), who was sleeping deeply. He gave up all attraction for his greatly opulent kingdom, and, unseen by anyone, he very silently gave up his home and opulence and proceeded towards the forest.
In this verse the word mahodayodayāt indicates that by the blessings of a great soul one becomes materially opulent, but when one gives up attachment to material wealth, that should be considered an even greater blessing from the great souls. It was not a very easy task for the King to give up his opulent kingdom and young, faithful wife, but it was certainly a great blessing of the Supreme Personality of Godhead that he could give up the attachment and go out to the forest without being seen by anyone. There are many instances of great souls' leaving home in this way in the dead of night, giving up attachment for home, wife and money.
It is the long-standing tradition of the Vedic system that a faithful wife dies along with her husband. This is called saha-maraṇa.
SB 4.28.50, Translation and Purport: She then prepared a blazing fire with firewood and placed the dead body of her husband upon it. When this was finished, she lamented severely and prepared herself to perish in the fire with her husband.
It is the long-standing tradition of the Vedic system that a faithful wife dies along with her husband. This is called saha-maraṇa. In India this system was prevalent even to the date of British occupation. At that time, however, a wife who did not wish to die with her husband was sometimes forced to do so by her relatives. Formerly that was not the case. The wife used to enter the fire voluntarily. The British government stopped this practice, considering it inhuman. However, from the early history of India we find that when Mahārāja Pāṇḍu died, he was survived by two wives—Mādrī and Kuntī. The question was whether both should die or one should die. After the death of Mahārāja Pāṇḍu, his wives settled that one should remain and the other should go. Mādrī would perish with her husband in the fire, and Kuntī would remain to take charge of the five Pāṇḍava children. Even as late as 1936 we saw a devoted wife voluntarily enter the fire of her husband.
SB Canto 6
Between the husband and wife, one person is sufficient to execute this devotional service. Because of their good relationship, both of them will enjoy the result. Therefore if the wife is unable to execute this process, the husband should carefully do so, and the faithful wife will share the result.
SB 6.19.18, Translation and Purport: Between the husband and wife, one person is sufficient to execute this devotional service. Because of their good relationship, both of them will enjoy the result. Therefore if the wife is unable to execute this process, the husband should carefully do so, and the faithful wife will share the result.
The relationship between husband and wife is firmly established when the wife is faithful and the husband sincere. Then even if the wife, being weaker, is unable to execute devotional service with her husband, if she is chaste and sincere she shares half of her husband's activities.
SB Canto 9
Devayānī was quite competent to understand her liberated husband, and therefore she decided to follow him as his faithful wife.
SB 9.19.26, Translation and Purport: When Devayānī heard Mahārāja Yayāti's story of the he-goat and she-goat, she understood that this story, which was presented as if a funny joke for entertainment between husband and wife, was intended to awaken her to her constitutional position.
When one actually awakens from material life, one understands his real position as an eternal servant of Kṛṣṇa. This is called liberation. Muktir hitvānyathā rūpaṁ svarūpeṇa vyavasthitiḥ (SB 2.10.6). Under the influence of māyā, everyone living in this material world thinks that he is the master of everything (ahaṅkāra-vimūḍhātmā kartāham iti manyate (BG 3.27)). One thinks that there is no God or controller and that one is independent and can do anything. This is the material condition, and when one awakens from this ignorance, he is called liberated. Mahārāja Yayāti had delivered Devayānī from the well, and finally, as a dutiful husband, he instructed her with the story about the he-goat and she-goat and thus delivered her from the misconception of material happiness. Devayānī was quite competent to understand her liberated husband, and therefore she decided to follow him as his faithful wife.
Sri Caitanya-caritamrta
CC Antya-lila
The Āditya Purāṇa, Mārkaṇḍeya Purāṇa and Padma Purāṇa tell about a brāhmaṇa who was suffering from leprosy but had a very chaste and faithful wife.
CC Antya 20.57, Translation and Purport: "The wife of a brāhmaṇa suffering from leprosy manifested herself as the topmost of all chaste women by serving a prostitute to satisfy her husband. She thus stopped the movement of the sun, brought her dead husband back to life and satisfied the three principal demigods (Brahmā, Viṣṇu and Maheśvara)."
The Āditya Purāṇa, Mārkaṇḍeya Purāṇa and Padma Purāṇa tell about a brāhmaṇa who was suffering from leprosy but had a very chaste and faithful wife. He desired to enjoy the company of a prostitute, and therefore his wife went to her and became her maidservant, just to draw her attention for his service. When the prostitute agreed to associate with him, the wife brought her the leprotic husband. When that leper, the sinful son of a brāhmaṇa, saw the chastity of his wife, he finally abandoned his sinful intentions.
Lectures
Bhagavad-gita As It Is Lectures
Just have patience. You just become faithful wife, serve your husband, and let your love grown up and because you are husband and wife, it is sure you'll have children.
Lecture on BG 6.16-24 -- Los Angeles, February 17, 1969: Devotee: "One should be sure of success at the end and pursue his course with great perseverance, not becoming discouraged if there is any delay in the attainment of success."
Prabhupāda: Determination means that one has to continue with patience and perseverance. I'm not getting the desired result. "Oh what is this Kṛṣṇa consciousness, I give up." No. Determination. It is a fact. Because Kṛṣṇa is saying this it must happen. There is nice example. That a girl is married to a husband. She's hankering after a child. So if she thinks that "Now I am married, I must have immediately a child." Is it possible? Just have patience. You just become faithful wife, serve your husband, and let your love grown up and because you are husband and wife, it is sure you'll have children. But don't be impatient. Similarly, when you are in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, your perfection is guaranteed. But but you'll have patience, determination. That "I must execute. I should not be impatient." That impatience is due to loss of determination. And how that loss determination is there? Due to excessive sex life. These are all consequences.
Srimad-Bhagavatam Lectures
In the Bhāgavata it is said that we are depending, we are thinking, "I am sure." Why? "Now I have got very good wife. I am sure to live very peacefully or happily," or "I shall not die because I have got very good wife, faithful wife."
Lecture on SB 1.7.36-37 -- Vrndavana, September 29, 1976: Pramatta means constitutionally he's not mad, but by some external influence one has become madlike. He's called pramatta. Just like in this material world almost everyone, 99.9 percent, they are all pramattas. For example, pramattaḥ tasya nidhanaṁ paśyann api na paśyati. In the Bhāgavata it is said that we are depending, we are thinking, "I am sure." Why? "Now I have got very good wife. I am sure to live very peacefully or happily," or "I shall not die because I have got very good wife, faithful wife." Similarly, "I have got very good husband or very good friend," or "I am born in a very big nation." So on, so on. Security. Because security is a problem. Everyone in this material world, they have got four problems: how to eat, how to sleep, how to have sex, and how to become secure. Security. The animal is also working very hard for these four principles, and the man is also working very hard. That is common. But that is not security. "Because I have got very good means of living, very good means of sleeping, nice house, and very good wife and very good bank balance and good government, therefore I am secure." That is nonsense. Pramatta. That is called pramatta. Means he does not know that at any moment Yamarāja can come and kick him out from this position. At any moment.
These are very important things, that soft-hearted woman, vāma-svabhāvā, they should be given protection. They should be trained up how to become faithful wife, affectionate mother.
Lecture on SB 1.7.43 -- Vrndavana, October 3, 1976: Modern civilization is not strictly following the Vedic injunction. Therefore, especially I have seen in the Western countries, there is no home practically. There is no homely happiness, because women are allowed to mix freely and there is no protection. They are not married, there is no husband. The father also does not take care. As soon as the girl becomes fifteen, sixteen years, she goes away. Therefore I have practically seen there is no home, there is no peace in the Western countries. These are very important things, that soft-hearted woman, vāma-svabhāvā, they should be given protection. They should be trained up how to become faithful wife, affectionate mother. Then the home will be very happy, and without happiness we cannot make any spiritual progress.
Young wife, faithful wife, beautiful wife; mother, affectionate; position; everything. But He gave up everything. This is called vairāgya, renouncement.
Lecture on SB 1.8.41 -- Los Angeles, May 3, 1973: Just like Caitanya Mahāprabhu. He was only twenty-five, twenty-four years old. His lovable wife, beautiful wife, very serving; mother, so affectionate mother; but He gave up everything, took sannyāsa. So much honor... Caitanya Mahāprabhu, when He was gṛhastha, He was so much honored that by His only direction of His finger, lakhs of people would immediately join Him as He started the civil disobedience movement against Kazi. So His position was very respectable in Nadia. Young man, beautiful, His body. Nobody can compare with His beautiful body. Young wife, faithful wife, beautiful wife; mother, affectionate;, position; everything. But He gave up everything. Vairāgya. This is called vairāgya, renouncement. If somebody has nothing to possess, if he says, "I have renounced everything," what is the meaning of renouncement? If you have something then you renounce, then there is meaning.
There are many good qualities in Mahābhārata about Gāndhārī. Therefore she is described here as tapasvinī. Tapasvinī. Very chaste faithful wife.
Lecture on SB 1.9.48 -- Mayapura, June 14, 1973: Gāndhārī, she was the daughter of Afghanistan, Ghandahar. Still, the name is there Gandahar. Gandhar. Formerly the name was Gandhar. So Gāndhārī means the daughter of Gandhar country. So when she was informed that her would-be husband is a blind man—Dhṛtarāṣṭra was blind from birth—so immediately she practiced austerity. Voluntarily she closed her eyes with cloth that she would also live as blind. "My husband would be blind. So, although I'm not blind, I must live also as blind." This is the beginning of austerity, Gāndhārī. So Gāndhārī was so faithful, one of the most exalted chaste wife mentioned in the śāstras, Gāndhārī, that in all conditions she followed the husband. At last, when everything was finished in the Battle of Kurukṣetra, no Kaurava, none of the sons or grandsons of Dhṛtarāṣṭra was living, neither of the Pāṇḍavas, still, Gāndhārī was faithfully serving her husband. And Dhṛtarāṣṭra was living with the nephews, Yudhiṣṭhira and his brothers. They were keeping the uncle very comfortably as elder uncle, all respect. But Vidura came there, and he criticized him, that "You have no shame. You all along remained enemy to your nephews. Now your nephews have killed all your descendants, and you are living here just like a dog. They are giving you some morsel of bread and you are eating and living here. You have no shame. You have become old." So he became very sorry: "My dear brother, what shall I do?" "Please come immediately along with me, and come to the forest." So Dhṛtarāṣṭra went according to the instruction of Vidura. Gāndhārī followed. Gāndhārī never said that "I am now old. I have lost my children. These nephews, they're taking care of me. Why shall I go with my husband?" No. She also went.
So there are many good qualities in Mahābhārata about Gāndhārī. Therefore she is described here as tapasvinī. Tapasvinī. Very chaste faithful wife. Ideal wife. Gāndhārī. Tapasvinī.
Just like a nation feels himself well-protected when the nation has got good defense measure, similarly, an ordinary man, he thinks that "If I have got strong built body and very faithful wife and nice children, and some good bank balance, some landed property, security, these things," one person accepts, "they will give me protection."
Lecture on SB 2.1.1-5 -- Boston, December 22, 1969: Just like a nation feels himself well-protected when the nation has got good defense measure, similarly, an ordinary man, he thinks that "If I have got strong built body and very faithful wife and nice children," dehāpatya-kalatrādiṣu, "and after this," means, "some good bank balance, some landed property, security, these things," one person accepts, "they will give me protection. Yes. They will give. I am now well-protected. I have got nice children. I have got nice wife. I have got good bank balance. I have got so many properties. So why shall I go to Kṛṣṇa conscious? I am well-protected. These boys and girls, they have no bank balance. They have no home. Therefore they should go." But they are blind. How they are blind? They are thinking that these things will give him protection. Pramatta. Pramatta means crazy. (laughter) Crazy. By craziness he is thinking that "These things will give me protection." No.
One poor man and diseased man, so he had his very faithful wife. Although he was very poor and diseased, his wife was serving him very nicely.
Lecture on SB 5.5.1-2 -- London (Tittenhurst), September 13, 1969: There is a very nice story—these are very instructive story from Bhāgavata. There was a very nice prostitute. Her fee was, if anyone wants to visit that prostitute, she was charging one hundred thousands of, what is called, diamond pieces. Diamonds you can understand. One diamond piece is at least five hundred dollars. So she used to charge, "If somebody wants to visit my house, then he must pay one hundred thousand pieces of diamond." So there were rich men. For sense gratification she was being paid. But one poor man and diseased man, so he had his very faithful wife. Although he was very poor and diseased, his wife was serving him very nicely. The husband could not work because he was diseased, and the wife was working, and, I mean to say, maintaining her husband, herself. Fortunately she had no children. But the husband was always morose. Now the wife is asking, "My dear husband, I am trying to satisfy you in so many ways, working myself and cooking for you, giving you foodstuff, and I am getting you bathed and everything. Why you are so morose?"
So he was hesitating to disclose his mind. When she insisted that "You disclose. Why you are so sorry? Then I shall try to satisfy you..." (aside:) Come on. ...so he disclosed his mind. What is that? "I want to visit that prostitute." Just see. He is poor man and (chuckling) he is diseased. Just see how much this lust and sense gratification is strong. He was thinking of going to that prostitute, and he disclosed his mind to his wife. Wife was very faithful. She wanted to satisfy her husband. So she promised, "My dear husband, I shall try my best to take you to that prostitute." "Oh, where you'll get one hundred thousand pieces of diamond?" "All right. I shall see to it." Then she went to the prostitute's house, and without her permission she was washing her dishes, her clothes, and, I mean to say, sweeping the rooms and everything. The prostitute asked, "Who are you? You are coming. You are not charging anything. You are not asking anything. What do you want?" "I shall tell you." So in this way, when she was daily asking that "What is your mind. You tell me. You are very nice woman. You are, for nothing you are working for me. I must something do for you." Then she disclosed her mind: "My dear lady, I am very poor woman, but my husband, he is diseased and he has no money, but he wants to visit you." So the woman could understand. She said, "Yes. You can bring your husband on such and such date." So she was very glad and told her husband that "I have fixed up, appointed a date. You shall be able to go." Oh, he was very glad.
Now when the man visited the prostitute's house, she received the man. In India it is system that when you receive a gentleman or lady you must give him sumptuously to eat. So there was many palatable dishes served to the man, and each vegetable and each preparation was put in two pots—one in iron pots and one in golden pots. So he was eating. Now this man asked the prostitute, "Well, you have given me the same preparation in two pots: one in gold pot and one in iron pot. Why? What is the idea?" So she said that "First of all taste it. Then I shall disclose what is the idea." So he was tasting, eating. Then the prostitute asked him, "How do you like?" "Oh, it is very nice." "Then, is there any different taste in the golden pot?" "No. Same taste." "And the iron pot?" "Oh, the same taste." So she replied at that time that "You are so rascal that you want to gratify your senses, but you do not know that sense gratification in poor wife or rich wife is the same. There is no difference of taste, so why you are after a woman by paying this one hundred thousands of jewels?" The idea is... This story is very instructive, and it is mentioned in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. The idea is the same thing... (break) ...sense gratification is the ultimate aim of life, then why so much hard trouble for decorating the process of sense gratification? Why wasting so much time for decorating?
Just see. He is leper, a poor man, and he is aspiring to go to a prostitute who charges 100,000 of pieces of diamond. So anyway, she was a faithful wife. She wanted to satisfy her husband. Some way or other, she arranged.
Lecture on SB 7.6.3 -- Vrndavana, December 4, 1975: There was a prostitute whose charges was one lakh of pieces of diamond. It doesn't matter, a big diamond or small diamond. That was her charges. So one man was suffering from leprosy and he was being assisted, he was being assisted by his wife, very faithful wife. So still, he was morose. The wife asked the husband, "Why you are morose? I am giving you so much service. You are leper, you cannot move. I can take you... I take you on a basket and carry you. Still, you feel unhappy?" So he admitted, "Yes." "Oh, what is the cause?" "Now, I want to go to the prostitute, Lakṣahīra." Just see. He is leper, a poor man, and he is aspiring to go to a prostitute who charges 100,000 of pieces of diamond. So anyway, she was a faithful wife. She wanted to satisfy her husband. Some way or other, she arranged. Then, when the leper was at the house of the prostitute, the prostitute gave him very nice dishes of food but everything in two dishes, everything, one in the golden pot, another in iron pot. So while he was eating, so he inquired the prostitute, "Why you have given me in two pots?" "Now, because I wanted to know whether you will feel different taste in different pots." So he said, "No, I don't find any difference of taste. The soup in the golden pot and the soup in the iron pot, the taste is the same." "Then why you have come here?" This is foolishness. The whole world is going on like that. They are simply trying to taste the same thing in different pot. That's all. They are not detestful that "No more, sir. I have tasted enough." That is not fact. That is called vairāgya-vidyā, no more tasting: "It is all the same, either I take in this pot or that pot."
Nectar of Devotion Lectures
Generally, a girl wants a child. But if she wants a child immediately after marriage, that is not possible. She must wait. She must serve her husband nicely. Just like a faithful wife.
The Nectar of Devotion -- Vrndavana, October 20, 1972: Just like a girl is married. Generally, a girl wants a child. But if she wants a child immediately after marriage, that is not possible. She must wait. She must serve her husband nicely. Utsāhān dhairyāt tat-tat-karma-pravartanāt. Just like a faithful wife. Time will come she will become pregnant and she will have child. So niścayāt means... Just like the girl must know because she's married, because she has got a husband, that there must be a child. It is a fact. It may be little later. Similarly, when you have entered into devotional service, bhakti-yoga, bhakti-mārga, your success is assured, provided you are enthusiastic and patient. Not that "Immediately I want a child," "Immediately I become fully Kṛṣṇa consciousness and perfect." No. There may be so many imperfections. Because we are in the imperfect atmosphere. But patiently, if you go on executing your duties in devotional service as it is directed in the śāstras and confirmed by the spiritual master, then rest assured that your success if guaranteed. This is the way. Utsāhān dhairyāt tat-tat-karma-pravartanāt. You must execute the duties.
Conversations and Morning Walks
1975 Conversations and Morning Walks
Man is regulated to become a first-class man, and woman is regulated to become very chaste and faithful wife.
Television Interview -- July 9, 1975, Chicago: Woman reporter: You have different schools for men and women, is that correct?
Prabhupāda: Yes. Man is regulated to become a first-class man, and woman is regulated to become very chaste and faithful wife.
Woman reporter: There is one more question.
Prabhupāda: Then the life will be very successful. And marriage, compulsory. Marriage, compulsory.
If woman is faithful wife of the first-class man, then she also becomes first-class.
Press Conference -- July 9, 1975, Chicago: Prabhupāda: Now, woman is supposed to be assistant of man. If woman is faithful wife of the first-class man, then she also becomes first-class. If she is assistant of the second-class man then he is also second-class. If she is assistant of the third-class man, then she is also third-class. Because she is assistant, so, according to her husband, or protector, she becomes first, second, third, fourth.
Reporter (3): But she doesn't have any structure at all until marriage?
Prabhupāda: No, she has got structure—she has got brain. I have already told. But not as good as man's brain.
Reporter (3): You means she's not qualified as first, second, or third-class until she marries?
Prabhupāda: Yes. Woman requires to be protected—in childhood by the father, in youthhood by the husband, and in old age by the elderly sons.
It is the advice that "When you go to other countries you should not take your wife." Because it may create some trouble. But still, the faithful wife goes with the husband.
Room Conversation after Press Conference -- July 9, 1975, Chicago: Prabhupāda: Nowadays may be different, but I am speaking of the Vedic ideas, that woman in all circumstances, unless the husband is crazy or something like that, mad, or..., in every case the instance is that wife is faithful and subservient to the husband. That is the Vedic culture. Even the husband goes out of home, vānaprastha, the wife also goes with him. When he takes sannyāsa, at that time there is no accompaniment of wife. Otherwise in gṛhastha life and even vānaprastha life, the wife is constant companion and subservient. That is the history of Vedic culture. History, Gāndhārī, because her husband was blind, so when the marriage settlement was done, she was not blind, but she voluntarily became blind by wrapping cloth.
Devotee (2): She remained with the cloth wrapped for her whole life?
Prabhupāda: Whole life.
Devotee (2): Whole life.
Prabhupāda: She voluntarily became blind. And up to the last point of her husband's precarious condition, she remained with him. These are the examples. There are other examples. Damayanti. They became so poor that they had no clothing. So the one cloth divided into two, husband and wife. So these instances are in the Vedic literature, that wife remains always faithful and subservient to the husband. That is their perfection. Now the Americans may not like this idea. That is different thing. But we are speaking of the Vedic culture. And these are the instances, vivid instances. Why Sītā accompanied her husband? And because she accompanied her husband in the jungle, the war between Rāma Rāvaṇa became possible. And it is the advice that "When you go to other countries you should not take your wife." Pathe narī-vinārjitaḥ. Because it may create some trouble. But still, the faithful wife goes with the husband.
If woman is chaste, even though she is not very beautiful, she will be liked by the husband. So train them in that way: very chaste, faithful wife and knows how to cook very nicely.
Morning Walk -- July 10, 1975, Chicago: Prabhupāda: ...in the Dallas there is no problem. Educate the girls how to become faithful, chaste wife and how to cook nicely. Let them learn varieties of cooking. Is very difficult? These two qualifications, apart from Kṛṣṇa consciousness, materially they should learn. There are many stories, Nala-Damayantī, then Pārvatī, Sītā, five chaste women in the history. They should read their life. And by fifteenth, sixteenth year they should be married. And if they are qualified, it will be not difficult to find out a nice husband. Here the boys, they do not want to marry because they are not very much inclined to marry unchaste wife. They know it, that "I shall marry a girl, she is unchaste." What do you think?
Brahmānanda: Yes.
Prabhupāda: This is psychology. If woman is chaste, even though she is not very beautiful, she will be liked by the husband. So train them in that way: very chaste, faithful wife and knows how to cook very nicely. Other qualification, even they haven't, that's all right. And Kṛṣṇa consciousness is being trained up. Then there will be no difficulty. And boys should be first-class man. Then our Gurukula will be successful.
They want to be a faithful wife, but there is no husband. Where to become faithful?
Morning Walk -- September 27, 1975, Ahmedabad: Prabhupāda: They don't think there is need of husband. Eh? But they feel. That I know. I have seen one girl. She saw another friend, "Oh, she has got a husband," whispering. So I can understand that everyone aspires after husband, but there is no hope. Hopelessness. This is the position. Every woman wants a good husband, good home, good children, little ornaments, nice food. That is the ambition of every woman, but they are hopeless. Although they are well qualified, European, American girls, they are hopeless, not to get any husband, not to get any home. This is their position. I have studied thoroughly. Is it not?
Girirāja: Yes.
Prabhupāda: Hopelessness. When we see in our association all these girls. They are so nicely, well qualified. Whatever they are taught, they immediately pick up.
Kartikeya: In America they were asking my wife how Indian women are able to keep such devotion for their husbands. So they are actually very much interested and envious of this situation in India.
Prabhupāda: Yes, that is the nature. That is... They want to be a faithful wife, but there is no husband. Where to become faithful?
Harikeśa: So then they want to become liberated.
Prabhupāda: Yes. Being hopeless repeatedly, now they want liberation. Hare Kṛṣṇa. Jaya.
1976 Conversations and Morning Walks
Formerly I was thinking, "It is custom. To become faithful wife, this is custom." But when I come outside I see what is wife and what is faithful wife.
Room Conversation -- August 2, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm): Prabhupāda: When there is full agreement between husband and wife, cooperation, then the goddess of fortune comes there without application. You haven't got to ask goddess of fortune, "Please come and help me." She'll come automatically. This is Cāṇakya Paṇḍita's instruction.
- mūrkha yatrana pūjyante
- dhanyaṁ yatra susañcitam
- dampatyoḥ kalaho nāsti
- tatra śrīḥ svayam āgataḥ
There are so many things in India culture for becoming happy and advancing towards the goal of life. Now I am appreciating for more and more, seeing the whole world, what is India's culture. Formerly I was thinking, "It is custom. To become faithful wife, this is custom." But when I come outside I see what is wife and what is faithful wife. In India, still, in the village, even there is fight between husband, wife, the wife is faithful. Still. Completely dependent on husband. The husband also, in spite of fighting, is always careful that the wife does not get any inconvenience. It was the culture, now it is breaking.
1977 Conversations and Morning Walks
Girls should be taught how to become faithful wife, how to learn nice cooking, cleansing, dressing.
Room Conversation -- January 8, 1977, Bombay: Prabhupāda: Girls should be taught how to become faithful wife, how to learn nice cooking, cleansing, dressing. Simple method. There is no objection of their becoming scholar, but that is not necessary. They have got natural inclination to give service by cooking, cleansing, dressing. Cleanliness is the first necessity. That is hygienic, spiritual, and calm, quiet.
We think that "These soldiers will give me protection. I have got a strong body, and I have got very faithful wife. My children are so obedient and working. And so I am safe."
Discussion on Deprogrammers -- January 9, 1977, Bombay: Prabhupāda: We think that "These soldiers will give me protection, dehāpatya-kalatrādiṣu. I have got a strong body, and I have got very faithful wife. My children are so obedient and working. Dehāpatya-kalatrādiṣu. And so I am safe." Ātmā sainya asatsu. Asatsu means... (Hindi). And still, pramatto tasya nidhanam. He knows that "These soldiers will be slaughtered in this battle, struggle for existence." Paśyann api na paśyati: "Although he knows, still, he is blind."
