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Whatever position I have got it is by guru's mercy and the Vaisnavas' blessings, otherwise I am insignificant. So I wish that Sridhara Maharaja may bestow his blessings as he was doing always, and my Guru Maharaja may help me

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Expressions researched:
"whatever position I have got, it is by guru's mercy and the Vaiṣṇavas' blessings; otherwise I am insignificant" |"So I wish that Śrīdhara Mahārāja may bestow his blessings as he was doing always, and my Guru Mahārāja may help me"

Conversations and Morning Walks

1973 Conversations and Morning Walks

Whatever position I have got it is by guru's mercy and the Vaiṣṇavas' blessings, otherwise I am insignificant. So I wish that Śrīdhara Mahārāja may bestow his blessings as he was doing always, and my Guru Mahārāja may help me.


Room Conversation -- March 17, 1973, Mayapur:

Śrīdhara Mahārāja: At that time you published Back to Godhead.

Prabhupāda: Yes, in 1944.

Śrīdhara Mahārāja: 1944.

Prabhupāda: I think that you were at that time at my house.

Śrīdhara Mahārāja: Yes.

Prabhupāda: So somehow or other, this intention for preaching the cult of Caitanya Mahāprabhu increased, and other side decreased. Viraktir anyatra syāt (SB 11.2.42). But I was not disinclined, but Kṛṣṇa forced me, that "You must give up." (chuckles)

And these thing is known better to Śrīdhara Mahārāja, how it decreased, decreased, decreased, then almost it become nil. And then I left home in 1950. Whatever was there, "All right, you do whatever you like." In 1954, four years, I remained as vānaprastha—why four years, from 1950 to 1959.

Śrīdhara Mahārāja: In the meantime, there was Bombay. Bombay life.

Prabhupāda: Bombay life, yes. Bombay life—that was during my householder life. I opened an office in Bombay for my business and . . . but the Gauḍīya Maṭha was established by us. I am one of them. Śrīdhara Mahārāja also. And we made two parties for begging, collecting alms.

Śrīdhara Mahārāja, myself and Gosvāmī Mahārāja. At that time he was Atula, Atulācandra Gosvāmī. So I took them to some of my friends, chemist friends, doctors friends. So I collected about five hundred rupees through this. Śrīdhara Mahārāja would speak, I introduced, and Gosvāmī . . . at that time Gosvāmī Mahārāja would canvass. (laughter) In this way three combined together, in one day or two days we . . . at that time five hundred rupees was (laughing) big amount.

Śrīdhara Mahārāja: A big sum.

Prabhupāda: Big sum, yes. So Gosvāmī Mahārāja very much appreciated, and he began to speak highly about me that, "Abhay Babu is so expert, he has got so many friends, he has collected so much . . . so why does he . . . he should not be . . .the Maṭha in-charge." In this way. "Why should he not live with us? Why he's living separately?" In this way.

So Prabhupāda, Mahārāja, Śrīdhara (laughing) may remember it, he said: "It is better to live separately from you people, and he will do the necessity in due course of time." So I could not understand what Śrīla Prabhupāda meant by that. So his inclination, blessings, were always upon me, although I was unfit. But he was so kind.

Śrīdhara Mahārāja: . . . (indistinct) . . . was collecting sufficient funds to come back . . . (indistinct)

Prabhupāda: Yes, he was afraid.

Śrīdhara Mahārāja: He asked you.

Prabhupāda: Prabhupāda gave me some money, that he is afraid, "You keep this money. When they need, you can . . ." So, by guru-vaiṣṇava, and whatever position I have got, it is by guru's mercy and the Vaiṣṇavas' blessings; otherwise I am insignificant.

(voice trembles)

So I wish that Śrīdhara Mahārāja may bestow his blessings as he was doing always, and my Guru Mahārāja may help me. I can give some service, so long I live. That's all.

Śrīdhara Mahārāja: Remember . . . some dissertation of Bhāgavatam at Rādhā-Dāmodara on Jīva Gosvāmīs (appearance) day.

Prabhupāda: Yes, Jīva Gosvāmī.

Śrīdhara Mahārāja: That gave you that last impression for possibility for foreign pracāra.

Prabhupāda: Yes. I thought that Guru Mahārāja wanted, and these Gauḍīya Math people did not do anything, so let me try in this old age. The inspiration came, and I went. By his grace it has become little successful, that's all. I have no credit.

It is all the blessings of guru and Vaiṣṇava. That's all. I have no credit. I do not know how things are happening, because I am not at all bona fide position. But it is truly chāḍiyā vaiṣṇava-sevā nistāra pāyeche kebā (Prema-bhakti-candrikā).

Śrīdhara Mahārāja: Are you going . . . (indistinct) . . . kindly talk with your . . . (indistinct)

Prabhupāda: Yes. Hare Kṛṣṇa.

Śrīdhara Mahārāja: That will be . . . (indistinct) . . . carried to us, the land of gold and Golden Avatāra. (laughs)

Prabhupāda: I am always speak to this, my American disciples, that "You are so much, I mean to say, taken care of by God. This is . . . your position is very good. Now you take to Kṛṣṇa consciousness, and you become a perfect nation." That I preach always. "By the grace of Kṛṣṇa, you have got everything. All material opulence.

Now make it plus Kṛṣṇa. Then it will be very nice." Lakṣmī-Nārāyaṇa. So these boys are trying, very sincerely and seriously, and I hope, even I do not live many more years, they will carry out this order.