In 1936, just on the 13th December, I wrote him one letter. Not 13th. I think by the beginning of December, 1936, I wrote one letter to Guru Mahārāja. I knew he was little kind upon me, so I wrote that "Guru Mahārāja, you have got many disciples. I am also one of them. But they are doing direct service to you. There some of them are brahmacārīs, some of them sannyāsīs, but I am a householder. I cannot . . ." Of course, I was giving sometimes some monetary help, but I could not give any direct service, so I asked him that, "If there is any particular service I can do for you?"
So that letter was replied in 13th December, dated 13th December, from Purī. And he passed away on the 31st December. Just a fortnight before. So the reply was the same as he wanted me to do this preaching work in 1922, when I first met him that, "You try to preach whatever you have learned from me, the English-knowing people in English. That will do good to you and to the people to whom you shall preach. That is my instruction." So I took up that . . . and then he passed away in 1936, 31st December. So I consulted some of my Godbrothers, senior Godbrothers, "Guru Mahārāja has told me like this. What can I do?"
So you have heard the name of Professor Sanyal, and there were other Godbrothers. They asked me to write on the Vaiṣṇava-siddhānta in English. So perhaps in 1935 I wrote one poetry. The part of it, somebody, you have got. He was very pleased. Since then he was insisting me that, "You write on, preach in English." At that time I was thinking, "What can I do?" So anyway, after his passing away, this Back to Godhead paper was started, as late in 1944, I think, because the expenditure was three hundred, four hundred rupees per month.
So somehow or other, it has begun, the blessings of Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura, as he wanted me, he desired me. So because he desired, my . . . I am not very expert or educated or nothing extraordinary, but only thing is that I believed in his word. That is . . . you can say that is my qualification. I believed cent percent in his word. So whatever success is there, it is just due to my firm faith in his instruction. So I am trying to follow. And by his grace, you are helping me.
So actually, the responsibility will now depend on you. I am also old man. I may pass away at any moment. This movement should go on, you see, this movement started by Caitanya Mahāprabhu, then accelerated by Gosvāmīs, and then again Viśvanātha Cakravartī. And when . . . just like whenever there is . . . yadā yadā hi dharmasya glānir bhavati (BG 4.7).
When there is some slowness, either Kṛṣṇa Himself or some representative comes to give it a push. So you should know it that this movement should be pushed on. This should not be neglected. And I am glad that you are catching the ideas very nicely, and try . . .
Simple thing: you chant sincerely and follow the rules and regulation. The rules and regulation are not very strict. They are very simple. But because you are trained in a different way . . . but I am so pleased and obliged to you that you have adopted. I never expected. When I came first in Boston, I was thinking, "Oh, who will accept these Vaiṣṇava rules and regulation? These people are after meat (chuckles) and wine and illicit sex, and how they will accept it?" I was hopeless, "How they will chant?" You see? So by the grace of Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu, at least, I am hopeful that this movement can be accepted by anyone. It is not so hopeless as I thought.
But apart from my calculation, you are realizing. This movement should be pushed on. Just like great souls always think of the poor souls, similarly, you should also feel. That is the way. Lord Jesus Christ, he also prayed for the sinful persons. So this is very good. If we struggle hard to push this movement, then, even we . . . you don't get any follower, Kṛṣṇa will be satisfied. And our business is to satisfy Kṛṣṇa. That is bhakti. Hṛṣīkena hṛṣīkeśa-sevanaṁ bhaktir ucyate (CC Madhya 19.170).
Bhakti means one has to engage his all senses for the satisfaction.