Govinda-viraheṇa. "In separation from Govinda I am thinking one moment as twelve years." Some of you or all of us have got this experience. If we want something very, very eagerly, then every moment becomes a long time, "Oh, it is not yet received. It is not yet received. It is not yet done." Yugāyitaṁ nimeṣeṇa. Nimeṣa, a moment, a twinkling of an eye, that is called nimeṣa. That appears to be twelve years. The gopīs could not tolerate even twinkling of eyes. They were condemning the creator, that "Creator does not know the art of creating. Why he has created this twinkling of eyes so that it is disturbing us from seeing Kṛṣṇa?" Seeing Kṛṣṇa, and the twinkling of eyes, that is natural. So the gopīs did not like it that, "Why he has created this? He does not know the art of creation."
This is love. Yugāyi . . . Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu tasted the gopīs' feeling. Śrī-caitanyākhyaṁ prakaṭam adhunā tad-dvayaṁ caikyam āptam. Rādhā kṛṣṇa-praṇaya-vikṛtir hlādinī-śaktiḥ (CC Adi 1.5). Kṛṣṇa, when He wants to enjoy . . . He is the Absolute Supreme Person, spirit, Absolute, the Supreme Spirit. So for spiritual enjoyment in this material world, great saintly persons, sages, they give up all material enjoyment just to taste what is spiritual enjoyment, spiritual life. Brahmānubhūti. They give up everything. Tapasā brahmacaryeṇa (SB 6.1.13). By austerity, brahmacarya, yamena, niyamena, tyāgena, satya-śaucābhyām—so many processes they adopt for tasting a little brahmānubhūti. Itthaṁ satāṁ brahma-sukhānubhūtyā dāsyaṁ gatānāṁ para-daivatena (SB 10.12.11).
So Śukadeva Gosvāmī said that, "Here, the Kṛṣṇa, here is playing with the cowherds boys. Who is He?" Itthaṁ satāṁ brahma-sukhānubhūtyā: "The great sages, saintly person, who are trying to taste the spiritual realization, that is here. He is playing as cowherd boy." Dāsyaṁ gatānāṁ para-daivatena: "And those who are devotees, for them He is the Supreme Personality of Godhead." Māyāśritānāṁ nara-dārakeṇa: "And those who are māyāśrita, they are thinking, 'This Kṛṣṇa is ordinary human child.' " Sākaṁ vijahruḥ kṛta-puṇya-puñjāḥ (SB 10.12.11): "So with this boy, transcendental Kṛṣṇa, cowherd boy, the other boys who are playing, they are not ordinary men." Kṛta-puṇya-puñjāḥ. "They accumulated pious activities life after life for many, many thousands and millions of lives. Now they have got the opportunity to play with Kṛṣṇa."
So this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement is very serious and important. Here are the sign, how they love Kṛṣṇa. One side, they are . . . they cannot check the tears coming out, "Kṛṣṇa is going away." Another side, "Oh, if I shed tears, then there may be inauspicity." How much perplexity, this two sides. Dilemma. "Between the horns of Scylla and Charybdis." That is the position. The lover, intense love creates such situation, as Caitanya Mahāprabhu exhibited.
- yugāyitaṁ nimeṣeṇa
- cakṣuṣā prāvṛṣāyitam
- śūnyāyitaṁ jagat sarvaṁ
- govinda-viraheṇa me
- (CC Antya 20.39, Śikṣāṣṭaka 7)
"Without seeing Govinda, the whole world is vacant." This is love. "Let me try to become Kṛṣṇa conscious. If it is done, all right. If it is not done, I shall remain in my position. What is the loss?" Not like that. One must be so eager that without Kṛṣṇa consciousness one should become mad. One should become mad. That is Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu's teaching—separation, not direct contact.
Direct contact is not possible. Neither that is the way of worshiping by the method of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu. That is sahajiyā-vāda. "I am talking with Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa is snatching my cloth." There is a book, one lady has written his (her) experience, that Kṛṣṇa comes, He talks with her and snatches her cloth. She has written openly. But this is not Caitanya Mahāprabhu's way.
There is one gentleman, Mr. Raya, in Poona, and she (he) has got also woman. Everyone must have a woman, parakīyā. This is sahajiyā-vāda. This is sahajiyā-vāda. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu never said: "This is the parakīyā-rasa: one should have one woman." No. He observed complete sannyāsa life. Rather, there was very, very severe, rigid restriction about women. But now, these sahajiyās, they are going on in the name of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu: āula, bāula, karttā-bhajā, neḍā, daraveśa, sāṅi sahajiyā, sakhībhekī, like that, so many. They are apa-sampradāya.
Real Caitanya Mahāprabhu sampradāya is that he should be feeling like Caitanya Mahāprabhu, separation. Not sambhoga. Vipralambha. Vipralambha-sevā: "Oh, I am so wretched, I could not serve Kṛṣṇa. How I can see Kṛṣṇa? It is not possible." In this way. That is the teaching of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu. "But even though I do not see Him, neither it is possible for me to see Him . . ." Means: "What I am? I am insignificant person. Why Kṛṣṇa come and see me?" This is right. "Why shall I aspire after seeing Kṛṣṇa? What qualification I have got?" This is bhajana. This is bhajana. Why should I be proud that "Now I shall see Kṛṣṇa"? What I am?
That is the teaching of Caitanya Mahāprabhu. Āśliṣya vā pāda-ratāṁ pinaṣṭu māṁ marma-hatāṁ karotu vā adarśanāt (CC Antya 20.47). Adarśana. "Without giving me audience, You kill me, You break my heart; still, You are my Lord, You are my worshipable Lord, nobody else." This is love. This is love. Asan kṛṣṇa galai diba naiva beja taba. Not like that. "Kṛṣṇa may not come. I may not see Kṛṣṇa for thousands and thousands of life. I may rot in the hellish condition of life for many, many births. That doesn't matter. Still, I cannot give up Kṛṣṇa consciousness." This is required. I may be sent to hell, heaven; it doesn't matter. What qualification I have got that I want to see back to home, back to Godhead? It is not so easy thing. So why should I be sorry for that? I should be happy even in the hell, simply by thinking of Kṛṣṇa. That is wanted. That is wanted. That is Kṛṣṇa consciousness.